Octavia Melody Rejects A Burrito

ESonata Dusk Gifts A Burrito
Equestria Girls
Slice of Life
Anthology
Sonata now has enough courage (and money) to repay Sunset for the burrito she stole, so she does.
OC
Sunset Shimmer
Sonata Dusk
Soufriere · 3.1k words · 35 1 · 713 views

This story is a sequel to Sonata Dusk Ruins A Burrito

Having been invited out to eat by Vinyl Scratch, Octavia reluctantly enters the Burrito Barn. Inside, she finds that she has managed to enter a land of confusion.

This story is part of the Burritoverse.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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CoffeeMinion

CoffeeMinion #1 · May 24th, 2019 · 2 · ·

Burritoverse!!

Soufriere

Soufriere #2 · May 24th, 2019 · 1 · ·

9640485
Burritoverse!!

I checked before posting -- it's been ten months (plus a week) since we last visited the Burritoverse. I've missed it.

Talon and Thorn

Talon and Thorn #3 · May 24th, 2019 · · ·

Aaarrggh! The accent! It burns!!!

Soufriere

Soufriere #4 · May 24th, 2019 · · ·

9641004
Can YOU do a better representation of it?

I'm serious. Fiddlesticks's accent is not one native to my area and required some research. I tried my best to get it right. If I made mistakes, let me know so I can fix them.

Talon and Thorn

Talon and Thorn #5 · May 24th, 2019 · · ·

9641055

I don't know where you live but I suspect I live a bit closer to the attempted location than you do (although it's still a few hundred miles from me) I don't think anyone has quite that extreme an accent. That said, it work for comedic purposes in a similar way to few people speaking quite like Applejack, Rarity or even Octavia.

Mx Story Anomalax

Mx Story Anomalax #6 · May 25th, 2019 · · ·

There's a lot to like about Octavia's inner monologue. The voice, the tone, everything about it screams Octavia and I can hear it in her voice. Her admission at the end that she'd like to know what her cello would sound through a DJ machine sounds a lot like the Octavia from Slice of Life. There's also all the in key references to music and her thoughts just feel, well, very Octavia. Occasionally near the beginning, due to word choice, it feels more like a narrator is describing her thoughts in her voice, rather than her actually thinking it all, but nonetheless I find it really good and in character.

"“No,” snipped Octavia as she whirled around to face Sonata. “Thank you.”" I don't know why, but other than the whole inner monologue this is my favorite line, it reeks of emotion. Feels curt and snippy.

"quietly sputtered out a string of nonsense syllables." This is a really good way to describe confused blathering.

"Octavia sighed. “She’s projecting and invoking a persecution complex again. Fiddlesticks, you’re sitting in my seat. Please, leave.”" Second favorite piece of dialogue, it's perfectly Octavia. I wish I could do dialogue with this much personality, but it's just so hard sometimes.

The ending was pretty perfect, a good emotional high note. My only problem is that Octavia didn't get to enjoy her burrito. Shame that.

The banter between Octavia and Fiddlesticks, especially at the end, was very enjoyable. It was nice to see that they looked out for each other and cared in some small way. Shows they're not exactly enemies, just... rivals in a way, I guess you could say? Rivals who annoy each other.

As for Fiddlesticks' accent, it was on point imo, so good job on that. <3

Vaguely Demented