• Member Since 9th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2015



Sometimes a novel isn't needed to speak what must be said. This is what I hope to achieve here. These stories (because that's what they are, despite not being in a 'conventional' format; they do provide a tale, like any other story) will be short in length, and not written in the conventional way normally seen on this site; they will be written in a format normally seen in poetry, because that's what this is. This is not to say they will be nonsensical, they are the insights, and the contemplations I imagine these characters would go through at some point. What I hope to provide is a commentary, but in a different, and perhaps fresh way.

All thoughts are appreciated. They have a guiding line of thought, and each one will have a correlation of some type (even if it's slight) with another.

Audio covers of the first two chapters by BigMacDavis are here, big thanks to him for this, fantastic work; fantastic guy.

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Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 31 )

I ask that you direct queries about perceived grammatical issues here, or in a PM.

I sincerely don't want any misunderstandings, since we all approach things in different ways, I hope to clear any issues you may have. :twilightsmile:

This is rather interesting, I must say.
I'm never really the one for poetry and it's rather cryptic ways but... this is good.
I've only read Sun's Glow and I can tell you have a knack for this kinda stuff.

Keep it up :twilightsmile:

Gorgeous poems. It's refreshing to see elements of the show, the world and the characters explored in new ways.
Me like. :yay:


Your kindness fuels me. Thank you. :twilightsmile:


Don't keep me in suspense when you do, you know your input is always valued. :raritywink:


Thanks for your keen eye, I read them more than a couple of times, but those pesky typos still slip through. :twilightoops::twilightangry2:
Oh, and for the praise, you give me too much. :twilightblush:

Honey Mead sent me here.
I think it's good, but I'm tone-deaf to most poetry.
It's always difficult to justify using the poetic form: If you state things clearly, then it's better off as prose; if you don't, it usually becomes obscure. Poetry before Robert Frost bores me and poetry after Robert Frost confuses me.

I think you mean.
loose my composure => lose my composure
A split personal is not healthy => A split personality is not healthy
a purpose from which I could aspire => a purpose to which I could aspire


Thank you for the compliment; even more so because you say that most poetry is "tone-deaf" to you (I assume you were complimenting me:derpytongue2:). Poetry isn't for everyone, but for myself it is more how I actually think, so it's more natural for me to write; rhythm is essential for poetry, and while rhyming is not necessary, it helps with the rhythm, the 'flow' (not to say that you didn't now that :twilightsmile:)

As for the corrections, thank you once again. I find it difficult to see these things, and a third (a fourth for the pair is not necessary :derpytongue2:) eye is always welcome. Perhaps it's because I fill in the blanks far too well in my mind, or perhaps it's for reasons that are only recently coming to light (dyslexia). However, while the first two are correct assumptions, the third isn't, the reason being is: that it is my intention to portrait the Nightmare Moon aspect of Luna's personality as a 'blame mechanism', an aspect to escape from; to 'run away' from her past instead of coming to the realisation that Nightmare Moon isn't some kind of separate entity. The Nightmare Moon aspect is not a desirable goal, nor is it the correct means; that it what I was trying to converse, that Nightmare Moon represents her willingness to not truly accept (denial, jealously, anger, in patience, frustration, confusion, est.). All she needed to do, was become as peace with herself.

Thanks for the comment,
-Six :twilightsmile:

I'm not much for words, so I'll say this.
You're really good at this, and this needs to be featured. :twilightsmile:
Twilight approves.


Ah, thanks for taking a look, and for giving your opinion of course; I realise it must be hectic for you, as your going to school again soon. :twilightsmile:

And yes, being featured would be nice, however it's perhaps the case that people see "poetry" and instantly dismiss it. :twilightangry2:

Here it is.

I hope you enjoyed it, and hopefully it wants all that sad(:fluttercry:); that it conveyed a message. But, as the ending shows, there's a sliver lining, and I hope to be doing some with a lighter tone in the future. :twilightsmile:

Please tell me how you thought of this one, honestly, I'm not too sure if I'm confidant on how it turned out. But then again, few people truly are. :derpytongue2:

Once again, please, please point out any grammatical mistakes that you see.

It's a bit arrhythmic at times, but it's not like you were trying to force a meter on it, so that's not a problem.

I get the impression that you've come close to this point yourself once; otherwise you couldn't describe it flatly, laconically, as though it were Just Another Thing that needs to happen. I am grateful that it didn't, and I hope that the pony in this chapter was indeed talked out of it.

Personal opinions:
It was mildly sad throughout, and only became a little emotional at the end. If you were trying for something very sad, than I am sorry, but you did not achieve it (with me). It is possible that if you had hinted more strongly at what she was about to do throughout it would have been more effective.
Sad, but not quiet emotional.
(Of course it is also very possible that I missed the hints)

Either way I still liked it and I am looking forward to your next one. :twilightblush:

Edit button is being weird... anyways....
Do you mind if I add this to the 'The Writers Group', because, frankly, you are not getting the views and votes you deserve for this.

As always your critique is welcomed, as it always is with anyone.

True, that I had depression for a long while, although never suicidal. This situation is relitavly new to me, but not entirely unknown, in short: I used my imagination quite a bit.

Your kind words are well met. :twilightsmile:

P.S The pony is Trixie.


Overbearing feels was not what I was going for, so perhaps a good response. :raritywink:

I wanted to provide the enviroment that would elicit a response, IF the reader chose to take it. I'm not going to go out of my way to make it obvious to the reader, because in my poetry, I like to challange people to 'read between the lines'.

Your respone however would of probably been similar to mine.

Once again, thanks for your opinion.:pinkiehappy:

HOLY wow. I am a big poetry fan and (obviously) a big pony fan--and I happen to be a big Celestia fan--so this blew me away. (Get it? Blew? Fan?...)

Anyway. All bad jokes aside, this was positively beautiful. A gorgeous look into the Sun Princess's mind through a medium that often sent chills up my spine. I've never really considered how much the snobby Canterlot elite must annoy our great goddess. And when you started talking about the Mane Six... :tearyponky:

I look forward to reading the next in this series. Bravo.
And Honey Mead also sent me here.

Ooooh, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! This was awesome. Luna vs. Nightmare Moon in a beautiful war of words, only to blend at the end in a swirling twilight of self-acceptance! Dang, you're good at this. I've always been a big meter-freak, but I don't really care that the meter is more free-flowing here because the messages are so good. And the various rhyming schemes you include break up the flow nicely and give it more oomph at all the right moments.

...There's one more to read? There's one more to read! Ssssee ya!



Whoa. I've never been a big Trixie fan, but I did NOT want her to jump off that cliff. You really made me feel for her, which is pretty impressive in my book.

These are gorgeous. I can't wait for more.

Next one. I quite like this one, I feel that it's getting more into the groove of my promised 'story element', and that it's more rhythmic than the last chapter.

As always: opinions and mentions of mistakes are welcome. :twilightsmile:

However, that I saw something, I could definitely swear...

Time has slowed down;

"However' and 'has' seemed to disrupted the pace of the rhythm for me.

Otherwise, very nice.:moustache:


True, they aren't needed, and in fact in fact without them, it's better. :twilightsmile:

However, I dare not edit it in my phone, because the last time I did, it deleted about 2/3 of the chapter (another fic). :twilightangry2:

I'll do it tommorow. :raritywink:


wise choice... I try not to do anything on my phone besides read... it generally turns out poorly.

This one is a little bit of a 'filler' between chapters, but that doesn't mean it can't be pleasant. Hope you enjoy. :twilightsmile:

Always excited when I see a new chapter:raritystarry:.

A few things I noticed.

The moon bathes the land it it's pale beam;

i think 'beams' would sound better, but it might conflict with the rhyme scheme.
also 'in it's'

Totally lack of heat;

purhaps 'lacking' might work a little better

He probably went of to take a nap;


I doubt our 'guest' wouldn't appreciate such a thing.

'would' instead of 'wouldn't'

He'll pull trough his strife of course.



Glad to hear it!
Oh, and that's far too many mistakes to be acceptable. Once again, I'll wait till I'm on the PC tommorow.

In my defence I was tired, and I wanted to get it out quickly; perhaps too quickly.

But for the most part it's quality over quantity, and I'll make sure to check it more thorughly next time.:twilightsmile:

I really can't help but think that this would be featured if more people saw it.


Here's hoping. :twilightsmile:

Once again, I think it's that people see "poetry", and then turn away. :twilightangry2:

It's a shame really.

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