• Member Since 6th May, 2014
  • offline last seen November 17th

LightOfTriumph


Good authors too, who once knew better words, Now only use four-letter words writing prose. Anything goes. :raritywink:

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Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich have been friends for some time when Cheese suggested that they try to move the relationship further. Far from objecting, Pinkie was all for it. However, as their first legitimate date approaches, Pinkie is nervous that she may screw it up, and Cheese may change his mind.

Cheese on the other hand, is nervous that he won't be good enough for her.

They both want this, so why is it so hard to progress this friendship into something more?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

This is the type of quality content I look for.

Good job.

This pleases the nut.

You got their characterization down perfectly, and I enjoyed every word of it. Maud Pie was the funniest one in the fic. I loved her every line.

Those two belong together.

I love CheesePie! It's been such a long time since I've seen a fic involving it though.

This was really cute, I really enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

"If the two of you aren't out of my boutique within the next minute and a half, I will beat you both savagely with one of my mannequins," Rarity said, smiling sweetly.

Savage, I approve.

Police's heart sank as low as her jaw. How was it even possible that this has happened again. She had taken on monsters, evil gods, tyrants, even reporters and she had prevailed every single time. Why was her ultimate downfall coming at the non existent hands of six milk bottles? She could almost feel a year coming to her eye.

You misspelled Pinkie here. Good story, but I thought you would want to be aware of this error.

Edit: I spotted more errors. I love the story, but again I feel the errors should be pointed out. (But that is just my two cents.)

9678492
God... Fucking autocorrect....

9678498
Again, I love the story. But I'm an author as well, so I know how it feels finding errors after I post something. It frustrates me to no end. Keep up the good work, I would like to see more stories from you.

9678507
Well, I've got several. And like I said in the authors notes I've got one commission slot that I am kind of desperate to fill.

"And not just normal, everyday, 'Hey, you don't look like you have a terminal disease,' good. Like... Pretty, charming, 'Yes I'm interested and I would really like to take this relationship to the next level' good, right?"

I feel like you captured Pinkie Very Very well in that one line. It also made me openly laugh.

Maud gives better shotgun talks than Igneous possibly could.

Excellent! This is an excellent CheesePie fic you've written. I'm so glad to have commissioned this from you!

I love reading these kinds of fanfics. seeing the main 6 group up with someone

9678967
Like I said dude, it's my pleasure. And if you want to get another one, you know how to contact me.

9679424
I'll let you know.

I'd recommend searching the word Police. There's a few times where the name Pinkie has autocorrected to police.

A few more small errors, but none quite so jarring as Police Pinkie. This was cute, fluffy, and true to both characters. The star of the show initially has to be Maud. Her character is both show-perfect and stretches the boundaries of what we know of her.

Great story
The police > pinkie autocorrect threw me a few times there but otherwise was good to read.

:fluttercry: It's so, so (dramatic pause) CUTE!!! :raritycry: My heart is bursting with ship. :heart:

Adorable and fun. Thanks for writing

Super cute! And very funny and charming, as well!

I’d just look over it again to fix spelling errors and typos. But other than that, it’s very high-quality!

Very cute!
It was weird to see Pinkie Auto-corrected to "Police" though, got me confused for a bit there.

This was very cute and fun story for an always entertaining ship, great job! :twilightsmile:

This made me laugh quite a few times, and it was so so adorable!!! Great fic!

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