• Member Since 1st Aug, 2018
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2023

BrightMind


E

Spy Glass is a private investigator, hired by the princess herself for a very special task: To find and arrest changling spys she suspects to be placed all around Canterlot. He is especially happy to hear that the pay will be great enough to get his life started with his wife, Melony, and his soon to be born foal.
But once he makes a shocking discovery, he will have to make a decision that will either crush his dreams, or begin his future!

Note: This story takes place after the Changeling Invasion, Long before they've been reformed. In this alternate timeline Changelings do not reform into colorful beings when reformed, nor does the entire race reform at once. But I hope you like the story anyway^^

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 18 )

9619407
It only let's you use a few tags. There would be a lot more if I could. Also, these aren't actual OC's, not yet anyway. They are just a few names and descriptions I made up.

I’m not complaining about your details because I like the Changelings original looks

9619499
Hey, I like them, too! But the only reason things are done this way, is because it makes more sense to the story. That is all the the information I can give you without spoiling the story, unfortunately.

9619568
But I do hope you enjoy the story nonetheless!

Psst! For all you fellow D&D fans, I do plan on posting my home-brewed monsters and campaigns on Wattpad. The stuff is orginally made for 5e, but if you play a different edition, I'm sure you can find a way to convert them. As of the moment I'm writing this comment, there is nothing up yet. But, if you keep checking in on it. You'll see something eventually.
My username is: @BrightMind01

10804665
No, it is not dead, and I thank you for your intrest in it. I've just been jumping around jobs a lot, and I've had no time to work on it, but I would love to start getting back into it! I finally got back into my account and my time is still REALLY pressed until the 18th at the EARLIEST. But I'm sure I can work on a few paragraphs on the next chapter over this week, maybe even finish it!

Crap... Its been almost 2 whole years since I started writing this... Happy birthday DfL! I hope you are finished soon!

"Well, don't tell her I told you," She began. "But Chrysalis has no intention of harming you. In fact, if you can tell her what she needs to know about the investigator and the rouge Changelings, she will let you and the kid go. She's even got a cozy little house set aside for you guys in the Crystal Empire!" Butterfly said happily. I let out a small gasp at the thought.

so that why Thorax Live in here

10819846
Ha, I actually haven't considered that. Thorax is a rat, and that's why he was left alive! XD

Huh. I knew Melody was a changeling, but I was honestly expecting it to turn out that she herself didn’t realize before it was revealed.

ch5

One thing however, did not not change when she did: the bump on her abdominal area.

repeated word
ch6

but instead to here with him.

but instead to be here with him
ch8

betrayal costed us!?

cost

pain and suffering you had caused the hive!

extra word
ch9

the rouge spies

rogue
ch11

even if it costed

cost
ch12

the fear struck me harder than it did for any changeling.

the fear struck me harder than it did for any other changeling.

So I'm here to make you deal!

So I'm here to make you a deal!

rouge

rogue, it's misspelled 5x in ch12

The interplay of chrysalis and butterfly feels strange as its best friend and i'd kill you where you stand if I didn't need your information.
ch13

"You want to burn down the whole building?! That's insane!.

This is a horrible plan endangering lives and damaging property when they could have made up a story and did whatever they wanted. Almost anything would have been a better plan than this including walking in the front door and walking out with the case, What big loss would it be if they fired him since he's implied to be loaded from years of regularly finding changelings at 200k each.
Then the photo burns and the mouse loses his tail all because somehow this was the best plan they could come up with.
Oh and he sent a foal into a burning building to get things.

At no point does anyone ever give any thought that burning down part of the building might have not been the best plan.

ch14

better for he poor mental health

her

she won't lie a hoof on him

lay
ch15

about thwle things we do,

the?

I was angry wirh her

with

But in this this case

repeated word

I'm no going to comprimise

I'm not going to compromise

The time jump, especially considering one of the main characters is a private investigator supposedly one of the best and yet 5 years of nothing?

butterfly starts out saying in ch12

"But Chrysalis has no intention of harming you. In fact, if you can tell her what she needs to know about the investigator and the rouge Changelings, she will let you and the kid go. She's even got a cozy little house set aside for you guys in the Crystal Empire!" Butterfly said happily.

but then later in ch14

"Will he get to stay with us in the Crystal Empire?" Melony asked hopefully.

"Oh... I don't know about that... when the queen said 'out of the way' I don't think she meant just out of Canterlot. I think she just wanted to put him in a cell or exile him from equestria all together..."

I think the subject was supposed to have switched from simon to spy glass but there doesn't seem to be a transition so it appears she's being told she won't be able to be with her son.

ch15

Maybe I wouldn't have to rely on someone to save the last shred I had of her,"

Maybe you shouldn't have burned down part of your building as a distraction??

The changeling dropped their disguise and put his hooves up in surrender.

Really?? just like that? No attempt to deny it or flee?

11102142
Thank you! I'll be sure to use this next time I have time to edit!

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