• Published 6th May 2019
  • 3,072 Views, 268 Comments

Walk Where There Is No Path - theOwtcast

When everything you’ve ever known goes against everything you believe in, can leaving help you live with yourself?

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The throne room was instantly filled with deafening sounds of startled and terrified gasps and screams, but it seemed to me that no amount of noise could drown my uncontrollable hissing. I tried to pull myself back together and explain it all to them, but all I could do was utter unintelligible noises in between hisses, noises that were meant as apologies for scaring them and pleas for understanding. I wanted to tell them everything: I wanted to tell them about the hunger that had tormented me ever since I could remember, about the desire for friendship that couldn’t be fulfilled, the dangers I’d faced and the hardships I’d endured on my quest for sharing love; I wanted to tell them about the joy I’d felt upon meeting Spike, the hope his kindness had sparked in me... None of it seemed to matter, though; the initial chaos had died down after a mere few seconds that may as well have been eternity in which I was failing to stop my chances of forgiveness from diminishing to zero, and all that remained was blind rage and deep hatred.

The three leaders and two unicorns closed ranks around little Flurry Heart, blocking her from my view and keeping her out of my reach. The Royal Guards prepared for battle, forming a circle around me and pointing their spears at me, one of them calling out to the guards in the hallway to storm in and provide backup. I could say anything I wanted and not one of them would care; to them I was a dangerous enemy, nothing but despicable scum that needed to be crushed and wiped out of existence! Even if I had managed to suppress my savage hissing by now, nothing I might have done would have helped me!

Only Spike remained close to me. I could see in his wide-open eyes that he hadn’t anticipated any of the events that had transpired; I could almost hear his mind trying frantically to think of a way to defuse the situation that was, in all likelihood, way beyond defusing. Having failed to come up with anything, he just yelled at them to stop and calm down. He must have known it wouldn’t help any, but he was clutching at straws by now. I would have been, too, if I could find any straws to clutch to!

“Spike, get away from the changeling!” Twilight commanded, levitating him away from me and placing him at her side.

“No, wait, you don’t understand!” Spike protested. “He won’t harm you!”

“No?” countered Shining Armor, pointing at me as I was still too busy with pathetic attempts to stop hissing to do anything else, including help Spike explain to them that I wasn’t a threat. “Does that look like a friendly gesture to you?”


“Spike, this thing isn’t your friend,” the other unicorn interrupted him. “He replaced your friend, probably hoping to get closer to Flurry Heart that way!”

“No, he-”

“Really, Spike, think about it! Changelings don’t make friends; why would this one be any different?”

His gaze wandered around the room, from one pony to another, still looking for a way to end this. Finally, he fixed his sad eyes on me. Had he realized he was out of ideas what to tell them? Was he begging me to say something? But what could I say that wouldn’t be immediately dismissed as another attempt at trickery, even if I had succeeded in regaining control over myself? What could I do that wouldn’t bury me any deeper in this pile of trouble?

Should I surrender myself to them? Agree to be thrown in the dungeons? Give up my one friend for the sake of calming the rest of the crowd? Was that the only thing that could convince them of my friendly intentions? Would it be enough?

It would have to be; try as I might, I could think of nothing else.

Forgive me, Spike...

But before I had a chance to say or do anything, Spike hung his head and, with just one short sentence, threw away all the effort he’d put in helping me find a friend, denied all the trust he’d shown me.

“I don’t know.”

In three short words, my whole world collapsed; in just one second, my last vestige of hope for a life in which I could proudly call someone a friend flickered out and died at the mercy of the one individual who had done so much to keep it alive! His betrayal hurt more than all the punches and injuries I’d ever received put together, more than starvation in its most dire moments!

I barely recognized shapes around me distorted by the burning tears that filled my eyes; I cared little to try to make sense of the commands shouted to the guards surrounding me. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing, but somehow I still managed to get past the guards and leave the castle. I may have run, or flown, or both; I may or may not have disguised myself on my way out and away. I didn’t care what happened to me or where I ended up going; I was operating solely on instinct now.

Nothing mattered anymore.

My escape felt like a disjointed sequence of dreams and hallucinations: everything seemed both familiar and new, both close at reach and incredibly far, both promising and hopeless, both safe and dangerous. I didn’t care to make any sense of it. I didn’t care about anything. For all intents and purposes, my life had ended in that throne room, at the sound of those three words that still echoed in my head… that would likely continue echoing in my head for the rest of eternity!

I hadn’t realized I’d landed until frigid air pierced my lungs that gasped for it in flustered, rattling breaths. Finally forcing myself to take in my surroundings, I realized I was back in my cave again, near the edge of the ominous crevice, right where I’d first met the friend who had hence betrayed me so bitterly.

I had no strength left in me, no will to keep going, not even to get away from this place that had once brought safety and sparked hope but now caused nothing but anguish and pain.

Finally spent, I let out a long, desperate shriek of a lunatic and collapsed into a wave of tears.