Regidar
Joined 13th May, 2012 ·
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Hot 'n crazy. Just how I like 'em.
That was cute, 10/10!
Contest judge chiming in with notes.
So um.. Hmmm. Definitely the strangest of the entries I've read so far. Which is definitely not a bad thing at all. It's quirky.
I have nothing to complain about with regards to the prose or the grammar and spelling and writing mechanics. It all seems pretty solid to me.
So that leaves me with mostly subjective stuff.
It seemed like a strange choice, to me, to use a bystander as the PoV character(Twilight). This is probably a product of my own personal interest in incest as a theme.. I like the rush of the taboo from the perspective of the ones practicing it. Seeing it from the bystander perspective does give the narrative the chance to breathe a bit and separate from the more visceral eroticism that the sisters are feeling.. which allows for Twilight's neurosis and frustration to shine through instead...
But like.. is that what I wanted from an incest fic? Maybe not... but that doesn't make it any less fun as a quirky comedy.
So yeah, I'm not completely sure how to make up my mind about that. Either way, nicely written, if not short and a little strange.
I feel that the overall chipper tone of this fic's description and name are misleading; I expected something hot and comedy, but instead I felt really bad for Twilight and concerned about the integrity of her mind. Maybe it's just me putting it under a microscope, but this, aside from the cold rejection
is extremely concerning, because it suggests Celestia has been doing god knows what with Twilight and erasing her memories so that she doesn't find out, a pretty bad violation of teacher-student trust.
Yeah but you got to admit that was pretty hot.😃
this is fucking brilliant
hands down one of the best stories on here it's comedic gold my friend
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Finally someone appreciates my genius
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of course!
Great, now I feel easier about the fact that my story starts off with the plot point about the incest between the two.
And—yeah, pretty hot! You've got talent.
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I know authors who build to the action and they're all cowards. Cut straight to the chase! Give the people what they want.
And thank you, I really appreciate that! I'm sorta bummed this story didn't get more attention because I quite liked a lot of the bits in this thing, but it WAS for that "I'll pay anyone who enters this contest 20 bucks" Princest contest so it got lost in the deluge I'm pretty sure. Glad it made its way to you and you liked it.