• Member Since 13th Mar, 2019
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

red reaper


come to see death, come to see madness, come to see other side of a story

T

A new hero is in town to get rid of criminals and evil magic. Only he doesn't spare the user's. The main 7 teams up with her pony doubles to know if this new hero is really a hero or something more sinister.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 21 )

I like it, but it needs work. I made my own story about this very concept called The Pony of Vengeance (you'd want to take a look at it) and the pacing of this first chapter is very, very fast. It starts off essentially the same way, but I had three separate chapters for the events of the initial attack, the Mane Six finding out about the attack, and the Mane Six discovering the scene of the crime. Pace yourself. You want to take these readers on a ride, don't you?

Also, your grammar regarding quotation marks needs work. Bad grammar can turn off new readers. I only powered through this one because I liked the concept. Next time, proofread your text for errors in quotation marks and past and present tense changes. I favorited this, but I expect more from a talented writer like you.

9603766
thank you and i have a bad grammer im not from america but from israel and i have hard time with grammer.

9603766
and please read my other story the hybrid

Awesome chapter, you are doing an amazing job. I can't wait to read the next one.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Is that Noob Saibot? This kind of fatality (internal chuckle) can be only matched by Mortal Kombatants. Although the webs and stalagmite are new.

9604278
yeah the webs are for a good reminder for whats to come

9604218
Hope you enjoyed my second chapter

I’m enjoying the story so far so I hope you keep writing but I have one question. Is the shadow character Noob Saibot? It would be pretty cool if it was.

9607399
yes yes it is and i hope when you hear shadow you will think of noob saibot

One was a light purple girl with purple long hair. The girl wore green shit with a black vest and she wore a pink hat.

I think that was meant to be shirt.

im not submissive sweet heart and more chapters

9617871
Very well my little bird, but as you know good things take the effort of mind

9617871
Have you enjoyed my last chapter little bird

"Those webs... are belong to the Pony of Shadows."

I don't think it was the intention, but this line made me smile.

9628355
No but I can see the humor

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and until next time I will give a question who lies behind the mask of the shadow?

A person in love that will do anything for a girl

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