• Member Since 26th Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Moterius


I'll just pretend I know what I'm doing.

T
Source

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Well, I could place here a normal story description. But if I had to guess, we’d say you already know what we mean if here simply stands ‘HIE as Nightmare Moon’.
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What? Too meta? The only meta thing you can’t write here is about the real world.
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Original (HTML & epub).

Tags: < MLP:FIM | Sex | Anthro | Human | OC | Nightmare Moon >
(Sex only implied, and NOT a main aspect in the story.)

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 109 )

Interesting start, Hope this NMM fusion will dispatch the mane 6 peacefully and demand they listen to her and her story.
There are alot of HIE NMM stories out there where they become trapped in a castle or some way without any say in the matter.

You know, rather than making your chapters public instead of private. Try uploading them instead so that people can see them on their feeds. It notifies them that you updated cause making an already uploaded story public doesn’t notify us of anything.

9714739

Well, that is something I overlooked because I uploaded around half of the chapters for my editor to check them.
Corincidentally, that was the second-last chapter I pre-uploaded and that means all future chapters - including todays - will appear in the notifications.

Note to self: DON’T do that again.

Great chapters. Kept me interested.

I'm just surprised Luna isn't getting suspicious about all the stuff her new student knows. To me, it would be glaringly obvious that something was up.

Looking forward to more.

The Monk
“What else to do? How did people survive boredom in olden times? ... Oh yeah, lots of stabbing." -RushyFiction

Interesting plan even if I din't fully understand it

The horn. You read this, even though it was marked as spoiler, didn’t you? – Moterius

its like putting a big red button in front of me and telling me not to push it

Hope your story continues to update frequently! Love it so far

9717681
Did I forgot to mention that this story is completely pre-written? I’m actually publishing the chapters three times per week (regardless if my proofreader can do them in that timeframe or not) because I know how frustrating it is to read a story that suddenly gets cancelled/updates once per month very slowly.

That is also the main reason I don’t upload as often as I could - I write each story until it has at least 10 to 20 K words (save oneshots) to see if they have enough sustance. If I can’t do that (writing that far I mean), it probably isn’t worth uploading.

9718434
as long as a story is updated and not just left unfinished then I am even okay with slow update rates of once a month or so... even once each 1/2 year is ok as long as it continues and not stops to be never completed...

9718510
Well, I prefer it at a rate of at least once per week, but that is because I read nearly two to three books worth of words per day (when I’m not writing that is); that way I still remember what the story was about when I stopped reading.
Any longer and I can re-read the story.

...looked at it from that angle, that isn’t entirely bad, is it? :twilightoops:

“I like trains.”

Oh shi-

9718521
well bad is certainly something else
but I am simply too lazy to write my story in one go ^^ and I won't even think of doing it... because nice little details come to me when I think of my story longer than just mere 2 hours :D

Can i tell you that i only found 1 mistake?

You certainly have a good story but you need to work on your story cohesion in that last chapter as I got lost near the beginning of it.

Then she looked at me and said with a final tone one word: “Murderer.”

Thats rich comming from you Chrissy.

Also what the F*** is with this chapter, too much going on, I didnt get that NMM possessed Amethyst while possessed by Sombra until the very end.

9734212
Yeah, Chryssy you brought on your self when you kidnapped Star. You and only you are to blame.

And yeah it's needs to be clear on Star merged in there

This chapter is in desperate need of a proofreader. So much to do, from adding clarity to descriptions of events that lack it, (9734212 states a prime example of such), to fairly large scale grammatical clean up.

so basically soul burning is Explosive overclocking

also

“You may kiss the bribe,” I heard somepony say in the background, but it didn’t matter much to me.

i didn't know you could kiss a "bribe"

9734896
Fixed.
And that’s the reason why I need a proofreader. :facehoof:

The pov shifts were really annoying and this doesn't feel like an end.

Twilight, like always, overlooking things and making assumptions

BTW Ultima is only strong enough on the unit High Seraph Ultima on Final Fantasy Brave Exvius, there is a move however that is stronger

This is very difficult to follow. I get the impression that you, the author, are forgetting what your characters do and don't know, as well as what the readers have and haven't been informed of. This reads like you have a bunch of ideas in your head, and you're writing with the assumption that we, the readers, also know what's in your head. But we don't.

Ihave to search wherewas the Horn growth after the chaos teleportation chapter . sleep

Then I stopped. Crazy laugh was for the mane-iac, not me.

OH NO, NOT THAT PERSON CHARACTER! NOT THAT THING!

Really GOOD ESPECIALLY FOR RESEARCH!

I kinda like this story and hope for a sequel.

9748029
Ultima is from so many final fantasy games that what you just said is beyond idiotic... or perhaps just naive? Look up Ultima ffxiv and try and say that Ultima isn't ungodly powerful. In most final fantasy games, it is the most powerful spell in the entire game.

I honestly forgot I was reading this so now I'm gonna reread it to understand it

Wait what? Who exactly was nexus? Did velvet and amethyst fuse or something?

I was so confused towards the end of this. It started off good and was still good but I was getting very very confused on what exactly was going on

Although I like the plot of this story it was easy to get lost. The story started out fine but about half way through there story started to jump around. At times I had no idea who's point of view I was reading from or what was happening. Things Just stopped making sense. There was no cohesive transition from one event to the next. Over all a decent read.

10061682
...considering that's the SECOND story I've ever written, that's high praise. As said, I think I'm getting better (*cough* Four Stars *cough*).

9746560
You know what they say about making assumptions; you end up with your Ass full of Umption. . . I can't remember if that is a good or a bad thing though 🤔

Love the picture of Nightmare Moon.

I thought of an idea where my male oc Telwyn Freecolt an earth pony in my profile ends up transformed into Nightmare Moon after finding her armor and clothes, and either puts them on or for no simple reason Telwyn Freecolt body ends up looking Nightmare Moon anthro sexy body in the picture he now a she still in complete control of the body but at a lost on what too do. And why he is now Nightmare Moon.

Do please make a sequel it is really interesting!!!!!

That you gained energy when you crossed the border between worlds and this energy altered your body to mine, thanks to my still lingering essence. Then, since your body was now how I should appear, I was forced in this body as well. Since you were already the dominant personality, I was forced into a secondary role.

I don't understand a one fucking fuck.

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