While reading together and talking, Eric Reed makes a "brother-sister" bet with his Equestrian "big sister" Twilight Sparkle that she couldn't go one week without reading anything, and she takes the bet.
At first, Twilight does all right without reading, but as the week goes on, the Princess of Friendship becomes more and more unstable. If she keeps it up, it'll be "Lesson Zero" all over again!
But this time, Twilight's an Alicorn, and if she loses it again, Princess Celestia won't fly in to save the day.
Oh, buck.
Good luck, everypony. Good luck.
This story takes place after my "A Giant Adventure to Equestria" story, but it's not required to read it first to understand this story (and laugh at the mayhem somepony will cause) other than to learn more on the backstory of the OC human character Eric Reed, how and why he's in Equestria, and how his brother-sister friendship with Twilight formed. However, here's the link to it if you'll want to check it out, and it's a 18-chapter story,
A Giant Adventure to Equestria
Also special thanks to TheHardie-Boy for suggestions to the story.
9641218
And Twilight's even stronger now then she was then. They're gonna see a LOT of luck to survive Alicorn Twilight in Lesson Zero mode!
Thanks for the shout-out!
9641352
no problem!
I'm surprised you didn't make a chapter for each day of the bet. Passing through the first five days in one chapter seems like a missed opportunity.
9658713
Wut
9665677
Oh
Constructive criticism : Too much repetition of the same bathing routine made me stop reading in boredom.
Start paraphrasing and condensing to maintain the hold of the reader's attention.
9681969
I see. I'll remember that, and I did wonder if I went on too long there with the baths.
Thanks for that constructive criticism,
9682592
You're welcome.
It's a good rule of thumb that if repetition of a thing absolutely needs to be a part of a narrative/story, once you hit the second or third repeat some kind of summarizing or abridging needs to happen until the next new interesting thing in the narrative/story comes around to keep the reader interested.
I can tell that you have the potential to be a good writer, all you really need is to learn how to emphasize and focus on the interesting parts of your plot / story that really matter and use less "word count filler". If you must glue pieces of the plot or story together with mortar made from filler, make that filler layer as thin as you can manage to make it.
9682622
Thanks, and I'll try to work to get better on what you said.
If you have any more or tips on good ways to do that, or more constructive criticism, I'm all ears
Well that was anticlimactic. I was expecting Twilight to completely break down or at least an ending that showed Twilight going on a weak long book binge to 'catch up' on her reading.
-.-
Well finally started reading this after a while of letting sit on my later shelf. Not bad, human fixlcs kinda make me feel weird at first but once I got into the humor it caused me to chuckle a bit. Though I would have preferred you showed rather than told on Twilights first couple days with the activities. That's my only complaint for this chapter. Read more later.
10480882
In hindsight, I should have at least shown the 3rd day since that's when things started getting interesting, but the first two days of the bet really wasn't anything special.
At best, it would have acted like filler and shown how days are like when nothing's going on. Similar to how this chapter started off with Twilight & Eric peacefully reading together.
At worst, boring and a waste of words.
I could only promise not to tease her about gaining weight if she promised to never ever lose her self control again.
... And I'd start bringing her favorite snacks while she reads.
Anyway, why didn't they just ask her to do some nigh impossible task? For instance ...
10585482
Good question. Though, given Twilight's state, she might have tried to run tests to find out, which could have ended badly. She also would have needed some books to look up whatever info she'd need, which she couldn't do due to the bet.
10585604
Which would then just play in my favor! *wink* The part about needing reference material, I mean.
I can't imagine mathematical tests, like the Alternating Series Test, could cause trouble, even in her diminished coherency state. Any real world experiments wouldn't be mathematical proofing.