• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...


While fleeing the Windigo with the rest of the pony nation, Twinkle Twinkle was stolen away from her family by a hungry dragon. However, she was not afraid. In fact, she was determined to learn all about the creatures before her inevitable demise. That was because Twinkle was a very peculiar little unicorn, with a mind that other unicorns considered defective, and quite weird. Can a strange unicorn who is unable to feel fear survive in the lair of a dragon, and save the lives of every pony and dragon alike when faced with a threat that they cannot defeat alone?

Twinkle Twinkle is about to find out. And in the process, she will bring the dragons a completely new gift they have never possessed before.


Editors: Pascoite, Tek, Charles H

Picture credit: Show Wiki and pony creator

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 209 )

Posted Saturday night (CST), first comment for author. I started this story *over* two years ago, and am publishing it as part of my April Foolishness. Nine chapters are complete to be posted daily, and the rest will go up as they are finished. Enjoy!

References to sex and violence are... well, we are talking about dragons here, so violence is somewhat baked into the cake, as it has been said. And Twinkle Twinkle lacks many of the emotional restrictions that ordinary ponies have when talking about sex, so she tends to speak her mind.

For people needing details, Twinkle has damage to the amygdala in her brain (birth defect), causing a complete and total lack of fear as well as some other odd behaviors. And, as I theorize, is an ancient relative of Twilight Sparkle for reasons which become obvious. One of the original Long Descriptions went something like:

Before Twilight Sparkle and Spike.
Before the Royal Sisters
Before the founding of Equestria
There was another young unicorn who brought friendship between ponies and dragons.
It was not easy.
But it was the only way to save them both
This is the story of Twinkle Twinkle
And how she changed the world

Well. This is certainly going to be interesting.

I don't care about your other stories anymore. This is the one I want to see finished!

What's amazing is that this brutal moment in history is practically canon.

Well, this seems quite interesting so far. :)

Takes a long time to replace a large dragon. Doesnt take long to make a replacement ballista and bolts.

Battlecart Equestria?

I'm happy to blame @Pascoite - this is shaping up to be incredible.

It’s hard to eat food that looks back. I have the same problem with trout.

True, since that's more of a predator thing. Prey flees or freezes.

It's even harder when it talks back. And talks logically.

This is a good story i look forward to more

Brain damaged pony and creation of Equestria.

Well, this sounds like an unusual story all right.

I'm gonna make some fan art of this

Are you going to start with my forleg or back leg? More meat on a back leg and its easier to drag round.

As they get into better enviroments, that Thundercloud becomes the basis of Cloudsdale, more persistant, eventually permanent?

As the skydiver said. So far so good.

#3 featured on the mature box!

A strong, if slightly overwhelming start. Quite intense. I'm not certain how much I'll be able to read in one sitting, but that says more about my lack of fortitude than anything else.


Sub-Zero and Liu Kang fatalities are kind of worthy of a gore tag, don't you think?

The happy ride from Farmer Bruener seems to have left the building. This adventure seems to have way more crispy crunchy ponies then I usually see in your stories. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowderp: . Er, i mean, this is looking pretty good. Looking forward to the rest of it.

and she found herself looking forward to what was to come.

You and me both, Twinkle.

Huh, I totally forgot the pegasi could zap them with lightning bolts. They need to use that a bit more. I do enjoy the second viewpoint here.
Too bad there were still a few Bluebloods hiding about somelace, lol.

Turnips are like dwarven waybread. They sustain ponies on long journeys with the thought “there has to be something better ahead than these blasted turnips”.

Turnips. Trying to peel round the wrinkles is a real pain, thats why theres pigs. Remove the low quality worn rind of teh veg, feed to pigs, they generate manure which when blended with other rinds gives high quality fertiliser that you cant get from just rinds. In a shorter time.

The dragon hasnt realised yet that its building a village as its horde? :twilightsheepish:

Or if you want the shorter-term option, give the turnips to the pig, sustain the pig until it is big and fat, then you get a nice load of bacon.

9594311 Something better... like PINECONES!! :trixieshiftleft:

9592752 It simply means you can have pleasant dinner conversation... with no worries about long-term commitments!

Unless you eat too many ponies. Then you have to worry about your waistline. :pinkiecrazy:

9592360 Heyyyyyyyy.... did you swipe that idea from the fact that I mentioned I'd destroyed all my fear by using an engineered neurotoxin targeting the fear-inducing centers of the cortical-amygdalar feedback system?

I'm also currently working on modifying my electron transport chain. I believe I can squeeze an additional 12% efficiency out of it by shoring up the hydrogen ion leak across the cristae, as well as soaking up ROS intermediates between the quinolones via better shuttling of antioxidants alpha-lipoic acid and acetyl-L-carnitine to where they'll be most effective and preventing the formation of cytotoxic side species.



This is the beginning of... well, not necessarily a beautiful relationship, but one that will likely save many lives down the road. Also, nicely chilling bit of casual eugenics there. Really says a lot about old Unicornia.

Yeah, but you can only eat a pig once. Turnips you can take out and look at and take out and look at...

"Everydragon knows the Dragonlord commands them to rise and set by bellowing at them.”

Yeah, that sounds like a very dragon thing to do. I can just picture it, big important dragon sitting atop a hill and shouting at the horizon: "HEY, YOU! SUN! GET YOUR GLOWING FAT BUTT UP HERE ALREADY!" :rainbowlaugh:

He breathed in, very slowly and carefully, then breathed out with his eyes closed, and a glowing green fire covered the entire pile of household goods, including the wagon. It all seemed to vanish into smoke, which he then breathed in with his eyes still closed and a look of intense concentration until it was all gone, and the only thing remaining was the pebbled floor of the cave.

“Wow,” said Twinkle. “I didn’t know dragons could do that. It wasn’t in any of the books.”

Brass puffed up until he looked twice his already considerable size. “Of course. How do you think dragons move our hoards?”

Hmm. With a couple tweaks, I'd bet that ability would make for a good way to send messages to one another at some point, maybe in the future. I don't know when and where any dragon would need such an ability, though... :raritywink:

"Good night, good work, sleep well, I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

"A traveler can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveler can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread including their own foot."

Also I don't think turnips have ever been weaponized.

I had this feeling that you were channelling discworld in one of your other stories in a particular scene. Now, I'm sure of it.

I think I like these dragons.

9594670 9594535 To be honest, I think Pratchett made a homage to the classic National Lampoon's Bored of the Rings story in which Elvish Waybread (exact spelling unknown) holds that same description. :)
9594413 Says a lot about Unicornia *and* dragons in general.
9594347 Only after you've peeled off the low-quality rind of a turnip, there's nothing left.

If Ruby doesn't feed her almost pet pony the pony is going to die and then who's going to tell her where to find those new tasty gems?

Interesting to see the trip from the old lands to Equestria portrayed as such a brutal exodus.

She's a pretty weird kid. Massive props for her self-sacrifice plan to save the servants.

Classic tsundere dragons, history repeats itself in the oddest of ways.

And then Twinkle decided being eaten would be interesting, and Ruby woke up to find the pony's tail dangling from her jaws.

Too late, Ruby realized that 'Food' contained a brain parasite! She could feel it taking over her mind! "Hello, my new host," it said. "I'm Alondro."

And then Rudy knew true fear, but only for a moment as the horrid creature rearranged her mind into a form more suited for its diabolical purposes.


She is her fathers daughter too.


Oof, a very dark take on Equestrian history. It all seems way too real in comparison to other exodus throughout our own history (replacng dragons/wendigos with various plagues, wars, persecution and so on).

Twinkle nodded again. “And when all of the dragons who try to eat ponies are slaughtered, the remainder will make peace with the ponies, and pass that characteristic on to their offspring.”

Probably accurate.

Sounds like Twinkle's going to have a hoard of her own before too long. The living, breathing kind.

Also I keep picturing her speaking like Maud with a slightly higher pitch.

"You can mate with whatever other pony you want.” Ruby gave her a glance over the shoulder and licked her lips. “Then I’ll eat you.”

Ruby just accidentally invented animal husbandry.

Teakettle was flummoxed. Ruby rolled her eyes. “Try getting any of the treasure you own to mouth off like that,” she muttered.

I don't know if this is a complaint or a boast. I'm not sure if Ruby knows either.

Explaining economics to dragons. Always a tricky business, since trade by definition requires giving things away. You get other things, but net gain still involves gross loss. And dragon sensibilities consider that true in multiple senses.

Still, Ruby's in for some very enlightening lessons.

And thus a Blueblood survives as I am not sure any survived the wagon attack. My guess anyway.

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