FutaLuna Conquers the Sun

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Comments ( 8 )

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fanreader999999

fanreader999999 #1 · Apr 25th, 2019 · 4 · ·

Could use some post-sex petting.

Fauxpyre

Fauxpyre #2 · Apr 26th, 2019 · · ·

An interesting little story with good, to-the-point action. But some of the figures of speech took me out of it at a couple times. It was well paced and interesting until near the end. The ending with the power struggle felt like it had a bit of a tonal problem that I didn't enjoy all that much. It was still a good read, though.

WordyWrites

WordyWrites #3 · Apr 26th, 2019 · · ·

Personally, I really liked the ending! And the mind control being simultaneously understated by the text, yet all-powerful (kinda) was an interesting angle. Nice work!

Milly97

Milly97 #4 · Apr 27th, 2019 · · ·

Love love love love loved it, and that ending was perfect, kinda makes me want for more tho you know to see how celestia gets back lol

xRei

xRei #5 · May 3rd, 2019 · 1 · ·

Contest judge leaving some quick thoughts.

Reasonably well written. Not much build up. Not a lot of fluff. It's a clopfic, but it is self-aware of this fact, which I appreciate.

As far as leveraging the theme of incest though? I'm not as certain. The focus was more on the power dynamic and dominance(not that it's wrong to write fics which explore those themes of course), but heavily emphasizing that necessarily comes at a cost of having less emphasis elsewhere.

And this is a submission to a contest where the theme is incest. A bit more balance there may have been desirable.

But, the writing is solid, so... Still a nice entry in its own rights.

ponyreaper1