• Member Since 10th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 46 minutes ago

Miller Minus


Being small has its perks.

E
Source

An eight-year-old Gallus is visited by a strange spirit from another world. He doesn't know where it came from. He's not sure when it appeared. And he has absolutely no idea why it chose him, of all griffons, to be its friend.

All he knows is that he never wants it to leave. And if that means hiding it from everygriff in Griffonstone, then so be it.


Cover Art by Sugar Morning

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

Congrats! You get a like.

Excellent story, MM. And I'm not just saying that because it's an excellent encapsulation of my childhood.

That image is so cute! :rainbowkiss:

But this story's so sad! :raritycry:

Alondro #4 · May 4th, 2019 · · 10 ·

...and when he woke up, he was empty.

So he threw himself down the gullet of a hydra. Nogriff cared.

But then some random brony fell into Equestria and became the NEW Gallus, so that was ok for the plotline.

:pinkiecrazy:

I found the narration even lovelier and more evocative here than in A–. This might have something to do with this story being roughly four times longer than Sunset's tale, mind you.

I was pleasantly surprised not to see everyone in Griffonstone conspire to make Gallus miserable once he had found some joy in his life, especially after I had read the second sentence of the short description. As it is, the only external factor that went against him was the storm... which he incidentally knew about before he even stepped out of Grampa Gruff's house. Everything else stemmed from Gallus himself, making good use of the Tragedy tag.

Coming back to the narration, I loved every reference to archery and hitting (or rather missing) its mark in the interactions between Gallus and other griffons, as well as his inability to tell if some of their comments about each other were meant in a nice way or if they involved another arrow being notched.

Your several, ever-updating descriptions of 'the glow' were nicely written as well.

I can't tell if you 'got' Gallus' voice in the narration itself since I know very little about him (and even less what his inner voice would sound like when he was a child), but the writing still let me get into the protagonist's head—into his heart even, considering the images you chose to invoke such as the arrows.

Although I did forget he was a child most of the time as I read the story, unlike Sunset in A–. It might be because there wasn't primary school as an obvious setting to remind me.

Your depiction of griffon culture was extremely in tune with what the show is going for as well.

Finally, I liked these lines:

The rain tapped softly on the window to get his attention, but it never stood a chance.

Mr. Gruff was at the sink washing dishes, jerking the sponge around like he was sharpening a stick

And he wasn’t sure if he could handle the chicken noises today.

Behind her, there was a pile of books, thrown together in a messy, paper-folding disaster.

Griffonstone always looked a little brighter when it rained. All the yellow raincoats.

The tortoise, though. The tortoise was something else. A hard-shelled beast that walked around at its own pace, and was not to be confused with the turtle. Gallus promised never to mix them up.

It was genius, Gallus thought. It always knew where home was.

He cried like a deer chased by hunters, like a monster fighting poison. He cried like a bird falling from the sky.

His own voice startled him. It was bright and crooked, like lightning.

Dinner was chicken breasts. One of Gallus’s favourites, though it tasted off today. Tasted wrong. Like it had been cooked by somegriff on the other side of the world, somewhere he didn’t belong.

And of course:

“Kid, you were happy.”

Wow. Brilliant writing. A fantastic example of writing inner dialogue and conflict. You made Gallus appear really adorable here. I especially like the sudden switch of Gruff's character, and showing his soft side. Especially the gentleness with which he dried him off. That was a tender scene.

That was really bright and sweet.

And then the ending hit and reminded me of my own "heartache" and pulled me back down :'D You really had me wrapped around your finger there, not gonna lie, dearest author. But that's not a bad thing - that's good writing.

Congrats on the EQD feature!

9617296
Cheers, friend!

And thank you for adding my story to Phenomenal Must Reads :raritystarry:

9617353
No problem! This was a fantastic read!

The world needs more Gallus. Thanks for giving it some. A lot of the griffons need the School of Friendship, but this is one who is ready for it.

I wish to Hades that the last season of MLP:FIM had more Gallus, but this story fills that gap just fine.

That's okay, I didn't need my feelings today.

Gallus: At this moment I always thought that no Griffon or any creature will never be my friend And I always will be the griffon who takes things and not give back and destined to be alone forever.

An young light green pony reader a comic book then the voice from the other side said "Sandbar its time to go to sleep its a school night." The female voice said.

A pink seapony sleeping on her bed Dreaming one day that she will go up to the surface for the first time then she mumbled something in her sleep "stairs."

A young larva black changeling crawling around and Staring at the moon in such Fascination to it.

A young Orange dragon playing tea party but then an older dragon called out " yo smolder come on I'm going to teach you how to lava surfing with your big bro!" Said the red dragon

And a young yak playing in the snow and smashing logs and said "Yona smash!!!"

And Then back to the sleeping sad Griffon.

Gallus: But thankfully I was wrong.

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