An eight-year-old Gallus is visited by a strange spirit from another world. He doesn't know where it came from. He's not sure when it appeared. And he has absolutely no idea why it chose him, of all griffons, to be its friend.
All he knows is that he never wants it to leave. And if that means hiding it from everygriff in Griffonstone, then so be it.
Cover Art by Sugar Morning
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Excellent story, MM. And I'm not just saying that because it's an excellent encapsulation of my childhood.
That image is so cute!
But this story's so sad!
So he threw himself down the gullet of a hydra. Nogriff cared.
But then some random brony fell into Equestria and became the NEW Gallus, so that was ok for the plotline.
I found the narration even lovelier and more evocative here than in A–. This might have something to do with this story being roughly four times longer than Sunset's tale, mind you.
I was pleasantly surprised not to see everyone in Griffonstone conspire to make Gallus miserable once he had found some joy in his life, especially after I had read the second sentence of the short description. As it is, the only external factor that went against him was the storm... which he incidentally knew about before he even stepped out of Grampa Gruff's house. Everything else stemmed from Gallus himself, making good use of the Tragedy tag.
Coming back to the narration, I loved every reference to archery and hitting (or rather missing) its mark in the interactions between Gallus and other griffons, as well as his inability to tell if some of their comments about each other were meant in a nice way or if they involved another arrow being notched.
Your several, ever-updating descriptions of 'the glow' were nicely written as well.
I can't tell if you 'got' Gallus' voice in the narration itself since I know very little about him (and even less what his inner voice would sound like when he was a child), but the writing still let me get into the protagonist's head—into his heart even, considering the images you chose to invoke such as the arrows.
Although I did forget he was a child most of the time as I read the story, unlike Sunset in A–. It might be because there wasn't primary school as an obvious setting to remind me.
Your depiction of griffon culture was extremely in tune with what the show is going for as well.
Finally, I liked these lines:
And of course:
That was really bright and sweet.
And then the ending hit and reminded me of my own "heartache" and pulled me back down :'D You really had me wrapped around your finger there, not gonna lie, dearest author. But that's not a bad thing - that's good writing.
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Thanks for the reads and the comments, friends. The support is super appreciated.
Next up, it's YA GIRL DOUBLE-S:
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And then some bird-shipping.
Peace!
M-
Congrats on the EQD feature!
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Cheers, friend!
And thank you for adding my story to Phenomenal Must Reads
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No problem! This was a fantastic read!
Snuggly birb points!
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The world needs more Gallus. Thanks for giving it some. A lot of the griffons need the School of Friendship, but this is one who is ready for it.
I wish to Hades that the last season of MLP:FIM had more Gallus, but this story fills that gap just fine.
That's okay, I didn't need my feelings today.
Gallus: At this moment I always thought that no Griffon or any creature will never be my friend And I always will be the griffon who takes things and not give back and destined to be alone forever.
An young light green pony reader a comic book then the voice from the other side said "Sandbar its time to go to sleep its a school night." The female voice said.
A pink seapony sleeping on her bed Dreaming one day that she will go up to the surface for the first time then she mumbled something in her sleep "stairs."
A young larva black changeling crawling around and Staring at the moon in such Fascination to it.
A young Orange dragon playing tea party but then an older dragon called out " yo smolder come on I'm going to teach you how to lava surfing with your big bro!" Said the red dragon
And a young yak playing in the snow and smashing logs and said "Yona smash!!!"
And Then back to the sleeping sad Griffon.
Gallus: But thankfully I was wrong.
HEY YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT TO ME