• Published 16th Apr 2019
  • 2,515 Views, 42 Comments

The River Reversed - Regidar



In the Everfree river, the water runs backwards.

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Rapid Repeat

Twilight and Starlight watched as the foal fell into the river.

They watched as she grasped at the grass and ground of the riverbank—a ledge that was just a bit too tall for her. They watched as she sunk backwards into the rushing water, before being pulled under with a hushed cry, barely a single syllable out when the water overtook her.

They watched as she was tossed and turned under the whitewater, hoof tips coming up to breach the surface for the briefest of moments.

And they watched as she appeared at the river bank, and they watched as it all happened again.

No one should have even been out this deep in the Everfree; certainly not a filly of this age.

Yet here she was. Falling into the river. Dragged under. Thrashing for air.

Over and over.

As the river ran in reverse.

“What—” Starlight’s voice skipped. “What’s happening?”

Twilight watched as the foal fell into the river. Little hooves grasped at the bank, and the dirt rose back up into place from the surface of the river as the filly was pulled back under the backwards-running rapids. A blurry shadow beneath the surface, contorting desperately, dragged further and further upstream—

And then it repeated.

“I don’t know,” Twilight said, her tone hollow.

Starlight stepped closer to the bank of the river as the filly appeared again, clawing at the bank before falling back under. “It’s some sort of time loop.”

“Yes.” Twilight sounded like she was on a different planet.

Starlight glanced at Twilight before looking back at the repeating river. “Okay, well—can we interact with it?” Starlight didn’t wait for Twilight to answer. “I have to try.” She was up against the bank, horn aglow, ready to grasp the foal in her aura—

But every time she tried to focus her magic in on the flailing filly, she came upon nothing. In fact, it almost seemed as if her magic were being repelled in some fashion.

“It’s because it’s going in reverse,” Starlight muttered, gritting her teeth. “Dammit, obviously...” She turned her head up at the sound of hooves crunching through the undergrowth. “Twilight, don’t bother, the loop prevents magic from—”

Twilight ignored her, standing approximately twenty feet down the river from Starlight. Over here the loop reached one of its boundaries with the natural flow of time; where the waters met, a strange, impossibly thin line of conflicting currents met and terminated against each other.

The foal was being carried up the current towards the termination line. Twilight’s horn glowed; she pitted her hooves into the ground, bracing her legs, jaw set in concentration. The light around her horn intensified, and the entire portion of the river reversed shone with a bright magenta light.

With the sound of several cannons backfiring at once, Twilight toppled over. Starlight yelped, and scampered to her friend’s side. Shooting a hurried glance over her shoulder, she hoped against hope—

And felt it rush out of her when she saw the foal fall back into the river.

Twilight’s horn glowed for just a moment, although it was much more akin to a flicker if Starlight were being honest with herself. The Princess’s face paled, ears laying flat against her mane.

“No,” she whispered. “Oh, no.”

“Are you hurt?” Starlight cupped her hooves under Twilight’s head; her horn was smoking, and her eyes were glazed and unfocused.

Twilight couldn’t breathe; the instant she’d forced her magic through into the anomaly, what the filly felt subsumed her experience entirely. She’d been thrown back under the ocean—her senses screamed out as her body recalled the inescapable pressure, the agony of her lungs begging for breath, the final scraps of air, almost fully scrubbed of oxygen but not just quite, slipping past her lips and rising far, far away, her own treacherous weight slipping her deep into the endless abyss...

But someone had saved her.

“What is it? Twilight, are you—”

“I’m fine,” Twilight gasped, legitimately surprised when she didn’t heave up a gallon of seawater and found her mouth to be bone dry. Legs straining, she shakily got to her hooves. “But—the filly—my magic couldn’t—I couldn’t—”

“It’s okay, Twilight,” Starlight said, although her voice voice wobbled as she spoke. “It’s okay. We just need to think. What are we supposed to do here?”

Twilight said nothing, greedily sucking in several ragged breaths and hiccuping.

The foal fell into the river. Starlight repeated herself. “What are we supposed to do?”

“Starlight—I don’t know.”

Twilight’s breathing was getting faster. Her chest was tight. Endless miles of water, inescapable pressure, the last bit of air—

“I d-don’t always know.”

She inhaled; the air rattled in her throat, and the sharpness of it hurt her lungs. “But what I did know is that this was going to happen.”

Starlight stared at her. “Excuse me?”

“Do you remember the table?”

Starlight did remember the table.

She remembered walking into the room.

She remembered Twilight supine in her throne.

Her blank stare.

Eye level to the map.

Chin curled against her chest.

She remembered how the glow in the center of the Everfree Forest was not really a glow at all, but an ethereal projection of her and Twilight’s cutie marks slowly degrading into flickering, twinkling static before resetting.

“I remember.”

“Before I traveled time for the first time—I was aware this could happen. Time travel spells, even one as simple as the one I did—it’s fragile, and complex, and there’s always something that... doesn’t run through right. Anomalies will appear. But the universe is big; the odds of it happening on the planet, let alone in an inhabited part of Equestria...”

Twilight trailed off. The foal fell into the river again.

Starlight felt as if somepony has just yanked all of her organs out with a fishhook. “—so when I cast my own time spells—”

“You didn’t know,” Twilight said softly. “You couldn’t have.”

“But—my cutie mark was there too.”

Twilight nodded.

The two stood in silence; refusing to meet each other’s eyes, Twilight and Starlight turned to the water.

And watched as the foal fell in.

Over and over.

As the river ran in reverse.

Comments ( 38 )

[REDACTED]
A RIVER IN REVERSE
WHEN ONE FALLS
DO THEY GO DOWN
OR UP?
CAN THEY BREATHE
OR DIE ON CONTACT?

WE DON'T KNOW.
FOR THE ANSWER IS IN REVERSE.

I don't get it. Explain please? Can't say much else at the moment.

Congrats! You get a like.

9570163
I could be wrong, but I think the implication was that when Starlight used the Time Spell in the Season 5 finale, it created an anomaly in time that trapped the filly in a recurring loop.

Short, sweet (in a way) and to the point. You didn't reveal too much about what everything was or why everything happened. Harrowing.

Really well written, not too much and not too little detail, and leaves the reader just enough information to guess what happened themselves

Excellent piece, very haunting. The most terrifying horror is the horror you can do nothing about.

Wow, short but a good read. I love it!

Utterly spinetingling...

Pretty good, Regi.
I wish you would've dwelt a bit more on a few things, though. Not much, but just enough to emphasise the underlying horror.
Showing us a bit more of how Starlight and Twilight felt would've made this much better. The uncertainty at the beginning, the shock of realisation, and the lingering dread after they realise they can't help the foal. Like I said, not much, but just some description of how they reacted to those things, both physically and mentally, would've made it pack a bigger punch.
Still!
It was an entertaining read, and an effective one at that.
Cheers.
:twilightsmile:

I feel this got featured at one point. Congrats. At the very least it's in the popular stories list and I was curious enough to poke around.

That being said, I know this is suppose to be 'horror' but... I don't feel it, but I suppose that's because I'm using the human 'flaw' maybe of looking at the situation as a glass half full.

Putting the rest (hopefully) in spoiler tags. So yeah, I get the sense the Filly doesn't realize they are in a time loop given they grasped for the edge of the river, trying NOT to drown. I suppose one could say she's forced to go through the motions, but at that point I feel you're being depressing just for the sake of it.

The filly is stuck in a time loop where she drowns yes, but she just got discovered by the two most powerful unicorns in Equestria. Blindly trying to save her, didn't work no. However, she has the ear of every princess in equestria, Discord the spirit of chaos. I know the story is suppose to give this sense of underlying horror that nothing can be done, but really? I think given some time to study this, they'd find a way to get her out of there, and instead of a filly being stuck in an never ending horror, it's one soul that would have been destroyed, instead saved.

Oh I know there could be any of number of things that could 'potentially' make this not a happy ending but well I'm a fool with hope.

Spooky!

Also, I liked the little reactions that balanced the two; Starlight's more desensitized state and Twi's oh-so-tangible anxiousness.

Looks like the two of them ended up getting caught in the time loop as well.

Well written yet boring story that sucks as a horror entry. Thumbs the fuck down.

I don't get this, but good job anyway.

Chapter Two:
:ajbemused: "Twi, we don't need the Elements. Jus' lemme get mah rope an' I'll toss her a line."
:rainbowhuh: "Or, you know, Flutters and me could dash out there and pluck her from the water. We do have wings."

9630620
And then both get stuck in the time loop, feeding the anomaly and making it larger

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: The River Reversed
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 10
Pros
Interesting premise
Canon characters are consistent with cannon.
Location is described well
Cons
I didn't really get a feeling of horror from this
You described the actions of the filly, but not what she actually looks like
I didn't feel like there was enough elaboration on the characters emotions
Notes Section (how you can improve your fic, at the very least an elaboration of Pros and Cons section)
The terror should be described more. Go into more detail on how they respond to realizing there's nothing they can do. In addition, I thought it was odd that Starlight didn't just break the spell herself. She's good at that sort of thing.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/446417/foalhood-friendship-stellas-story

9785666 This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: I'm Posh
Name of Review: Cheeky Self-Promotion
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): Missed Possessive Apostrophe/10
Pros
Ostensibly Well-Intentioned
Nice Formatting
Plugs a Random Group
Cons
You seem to have missed the primary theme and genre of the story (existential horror)
You ended with a random plug for your own writing, which calls into question your intentions
You have posted cringe and will loose subscribor
Notes Section (how you can improve your review, at the very least an elaboration of Pros and Cons section)
Honestly, I'm tempted to just post the script to the Bee Movie, but I don't think Regidar would like that very much
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1337/oh-fuck-i-cant-believe-youve-done-this

9590025
I didn't catch that on the first pass; but wouldn't that mean the anomaly is large enough to cover a distance from forest to town? If they started at the crystal map...

Interesting. To see a endless deathloop. The horror is meant to be Twilight's and Starlight's realisation of it which makes sense.

Though I do agree with other commentors that now with this filly being discovered, the everypony from Discord to Princesses would do their best to save this filly.

Perhaps to improve on the horror is if you had shown that no spell, action ect. could save this filly and Twilight and Starlight have to dwell with the fact that the filly is forever stuck like that for ethernity

10022522
You're right! could definitely do with some expansion. I've been mulling this over since I published the story and people started talking about saving the foal and I'm thinking that having it be an element of a longer-form fic could be incredibly enticing.

10129909
ouch :ajsleepy:
i'm only 22 dude

10131022
yeah, but i still have time to break it

10132169
i'll bet you still keep reading them though :^)

10132498
cool, win-win

10132498
Not everything has to be high art you know.

I think this would be stronger if it was less explained. On one hand, I like that its a sad, random consequence of Starlight's actions. On the other, Its laid out so plainly that it cuts out the horror.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Dang, this was cool. :O

9788155
I am very sad that story #1337 doesn't exist :C

11028775
"oh fuck i can't believe you've done this" is one of the fimfic stories of all time

11029659 don’t tempt me to write this

11030289 bet you wont nerd pushes u

I liked this story before I read it, right before I decided I wanted to read it.

10129909
Lmao bruh what kind of spite is this

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