• Published 15th Apr 2019
  • 3,709 Views, 72 Comments

This strange world - SwarmLordAbdonis



A group of friends are transported to Equestria! Now trapped in their new bodies they must try and find a way back home without upsetting any of the locals. Neither possibility seems likely.

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Did you know that C*** means Best Friend in dragonese?

"So let me get this straight. Neither of you didn't ask anyone, anyone at all about staying somewhere for the night after I asked you to do so?"

Craig gave an annoyed stare to the two beings that now stood before him. Mike and Jason, who in turn either smiled sheepishly or shrugged as they turned up empty handed, unable or unwilling to answer. Where Ash and Jack were, the griffon had no idea but unlike the two dunderheads before him, at least they would have the common sense to... actually, just Jack really would have the common sense to ask if there was somewhere that they could stay for the night instead of just sleeping outside in the cold for the second night in a row!

"Unbelievable. You guys are complete nitwits, I hope you know that!"

"Hey, in my defence I had to deal with a small blue, slightly racist pony thing for the last half hour!" Mike shot back.

"You mean a colt or a filly?"

"No! Whatever she was, she didn't have any pupils and had some sort of weird translucent tail! I think she called herself Oculus."

"What, like the virtual reality headset?" Jason asked.

"No idea."

"Oh, you mean Ocellus!" Craig realised.

"Eh, Ocellus, oculus, opera singer, like it matters! Point is, that's what I've been doing, alright? Answering the questions of a fifteen year old girl about why I look the way I look! Among other things."

"For half an hour?"

"It would have been much longer if I hadn't excused myself!"

"Okay, I can actually believe that. And what about you Jason, what's your excuse?"

"Well..."

"He was sitting in the furthest corner of the room looking like he was going to wet himself." Mike exagerated.

"...Should I even ask why?"

"He doesn't trust anypony after his encounter with Pinkie Pie. He think's each and every one have the exact same personality as her."

"Oh for gods sake, Jason! Really?"

"Did you just say anypony?" Jason pointed out to Mike, ignoring Craigs lashing out.

"No."

"I'm pretty sure-"

"Well you heard wrong so zip your lip before I do it for you!" Mike snapped.

"Guess you picked something up from your little chat with Ocellus, huh?" Craig teased.

"Okay, well what about you dick cheese? Huh? You're the one nagging us about begging for a room like a bunch of bums so what did you do about it?!"

Judging from Craig's drooping feathery ears, Mike and Jason assumed that he was in the same boat as they were, the bloody hypocrite.

"Okay, well... I may have been just a teeny tiny bit distracted with... things."

"What kind of things?" Jason pressed.

Craig spoke very carefully and deliberately. "I was talking. With a celebrity."

"Celebrity huh? I'll be the judge of that." Mike hissed.

"He's another griffon like me, only younger. Did you know that he and his friends, including the same Ocellus you met earlier, saved this worlds magic from being absorbed into another dimension by a little filly who wanted to use friendship and power?"

"And... we should care why?"

"Also, what does that have to do with not getting a place to stay for the night?"

"I was mesmerised by meeting a celebrity! I didn't have time to talk about anything else."

"You were mesmerised by a young kid? That's... kind of fucking creepy dude."

"Mike, could you not twist my words like that?"

"Like what? I'm only clearing up what you're telling me that you're fan-boying over teenage kids. That's what you said, isn't it?" Mike playfully grinned.

"Okay look! I didn't get round to asking anyone, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The pair nodded.

"Yep."

"Pretty much."

"Great. So our hopes rest on Jack then."

"Not Ash?"

"Well what do you think?"

"Yeah, fair point."

"Ah, speaking of which, look who's coming this way!"

The group turned round in time to see a large ginger rug heading their way.

"Hey there Jack. How's the party?" Mike asked.

"Not bad not bad. These ponies can be quite friendly I'll give them that. They're happily able to make room for me whenever I walk around. Not everyone does that at a party."

"Um, Jack? I think that may be because you're one of the biggest and heaviest creatures here." Jason cleared up.

"At least he didn't sit in the corner like a big weirdo, Jason!"

"So Jack, how did it go?" Craig asked quickly before the others could begin arguing.

"How did what go?"

"Asking about places to stay for the night."

The yak thought for a second before his face went from confused to surprised to disappointed.

"Yeah, so... I may have spent a bit of time at the buffet, instead of... instead of doing that." He slowly admitted, emitting a loud groan from the others.

"Seriously? You're thinking of food at a time like this? Aren't you fat enough as it is?" Mike spoke.

"Sorry man, I haven't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon. I had to eat something."

"Well, it's not like we're leaving the party anytime soon I guess... but come on guys, just a little bit of effort would be nice."

Unknown to them, Ash had managed to escape the grasp of the pink menace and began to make his way over to greet them.

"Hey guys. What are you all up to?" He spoke in a surprisingly happy manner. Jason responded back.

"Hey dude, just talking about how much we suck. How about you?"

"Good actually, considering that I got us four beds for the night so... yeah, you're welcome."

The group slowly looked right at him in disbelief. "You? You got us a place to stay? How the fuck did you manage that?"

"Did you threaten to eat someone?"

"Burn them to a crisp?"

"Smell your dirty feet?"

"Ha ha. Nope. I asked like a normal human being. You know the pink pony from before? I just decided to ask right away- well, when she actually decided to stop talking at least. Good god that girl does not run out of oxygen. Anyway, she said that we could stay here in some of the unused dorms for as long as we need."

Craig smiled. Guess there WAS such a thing as miracles after all.

"Wow Ash, nice work! That's going to make things so much easier for us!"

"Yeah, way to go buddy!"

As good as it was to hear, Jason quickly realised something that no-one else seemed to pick up on. "Wait. You said four beds?"

"That I did."

"There's five of us."

"Oh I know." Ash's smile did not falter.

"So... are you going to fill us in or...?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, who's the asshole who left me all alone with that chatterbox for thirty minutes, hm?"

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh! Don't worry, you'll be sleeping comfortably tomorrow but for tonight... well let's not spoil the surprise." Ash grinned evilly. While Jason huffed, the rest of the guys were just thankful that they didn't need to worry about Ash coming for revenge against them too. After all, Jason was the one who got him into that situation but they didn't exactly stay around to help out.

"Well now that that's sorted, what now?" Jack asked.

"Uh, enjoy the party that's being thrown for us maybe?" Mike replied sarcastically. "Unless you want to just go to bed now."

Craig reinforced Mikes answer. "Yeah, Mike has a point. We have a roof over our heads and we have food, which means that we need to focus our efforts on the library, which can wait until tomorrow."

"So in other words...?"

"Get the fuck out of my sight."

Everyone chuckled at the griffons response and giving into his wish, Jack Mike and Jason headed off to check out the rest of the party while Craig and Ash remained behind to chat for a bit longer.

The five friends, though hesitant at first actually found themselves enjoying their time, or rather more than they expected to despite the 'steady' theme of a children's party that had clearly been set up. As the hours quickly rolled by they had already met a fair portion of residents and students that lived both in Ponyville and took up temporary residence at the school of friendship. It seemed more like a social gathering rather than an actual party, which only caused both Ash and Mike to secretly discuss sneaking in alcohol for the next one, providing that they were around long enough to witness a second party. Other than those few events, very little else happened in terms of friend making and partying.

When the party finally began to come to a grinding halt and ponies were starting to head home, four of the five friends managed to find each other. The fifth one seemed to be nowhere in sight.

"Hey, where's Craig?" Jason asked, looking around at the now near empty room. Apart from a number of balloons and streamers, the place wasn't all that messy.

"No idea. He can't be far away though, right?"

"Maybe he went to the toilet."

"Actually I saw him going to chat to a purple pony a few minutes ago." Jack clarified.

"Who?"

"No idea. She had wings and a horn though."

"Okay... and that's supposed to mean something?" Ash crossed his arms.

"I think so, yes. Did any of you see another pony with both a horn and wings?"

Nobody responded. Instead they all looked at each other uncertainly, prompting Jack to continue.

"I thought so. Until Craig returns, I'm going to go on a whim here and say that that pony is someone either very important or very useful to us."

"Yeah, that's one possibility." Mike added on. "Or he's geeking out over being able to meet characters that are supposed to only exist in a t.v. show."

"Or that, yes. Thank you Mike."

Ash spoke up quickly. "Well you can always ask him yourself. Here he comes, and by the looks of it he's brought a friend."

Indeed the Griffon was walking up to them, chatting to the same purple pony that Jack had mentioned earlier. True enough, she did have a horn and wings. Only when they were close enough did they hear what they were talking about.

"- Again, thank you. It means a lot that you would do this for us. If there's anything we can do to repay you, please don't hesitate to ask."

The pony giggled. "Oh you don't need to worry about that. If Pinkie hadn't already offered you spare rooms I would have happily done so myself." When she was but a few feet away from the small group of creatures staring at her, she turned her attention to them and offered a warm smile. "Ah, you must be Craig's friends! Welcome! It's a pleasure to meet all of you." She greeted kindly, taking the time to shake the hooves and claws of everyone. Jason took a look at his hoof in confusion, unsure exactly how she had managed to 'grip' his hoof, which went unnoticed by everyone else.

"Nice to meet you as well miss." Jack greeted back with a gentle smile. Ash nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, it's nice to talk to someone else instead of the same cunts over and over again."

Everyone looked at the foul-mouthed dragon in either shock or anger, other than the purple pony who seemed more confused than anything else. Ash realising his mistake quickly tried to fix it.

"Which of course means... best friends in dragon culture!" He calmly cleared up.

Craig face-palmed.

The purple pony on the other hand, clearly having never heard the dirty word seemed to begin to buy into it. "Really? I've never heard a dragon refer to other dragons like that before. Of course, very few dragons would consider another creature a friend at all, let alone a best friend. Maybe I could ask Smolder about it. This simple advice could lead to expanding friendships throughout the dragonlands and... Oh uh, sorry! I'm sure you're all eager to find where you'll be sleeping for the night rather than listening to me ramble on."

"It's quite alright miss. Happens to the best of us." Jack replied. Twilight smiled.

"Please, call me Twilight."

"Twilight? Nice name." Mike complimented.

"Thank you. I've only met your friend Craig but I've yet to hear your names?" She hinted innocently.

"I'm Mike."

"Jack."

"Ash."

"Jason."

"Interesting. Well if you'll follow me, I'll happily show you where you'll be sleeping."

Everyone seemed to be onboard with that idea and happily followed the pony they now knew as Twilight, through various halls, twists and turns until they reached one that contained a dozen doors lined up on both sides of the hallway.

"I hope you don't mind sleeping in these rooms. They're the best we can do on such short notice."

"They'll be enough we're sure. Again, thank you." Craig reassured her. Twilight turned to Jason with her friendly smile.
"Oh, and Jason? I managed to ask a friend of mine and she's set up your accommodation for the night."

"You have...?" Jason asked in a not-so-enthusiastic tone.

"Of course! I must admit, it's curious that anypony would choose to sleep outside rather than inside, but then again I've never exactly done much camping myself so who am I to judge?" Twilight went from facing Jason to the rest of them and politely spoke. "Well, I wish you all a pleasant night. I hope you find what you're looking for during your stay here and in time consider me to be a cunt like you do each other."

It took a lot of willpower for almost everyone to keep from bursting out laughing. Thankfully Ash managed to squeak out a reply.

"Only time will tell." He managed to say before Twilight, unaware of them holding their breaths left them for the night taking Jason with her. When the group was sure she was out of earshot, the hallway went from silent to ear-splittingly loud thanks to the laughter coming from three of the four creatures. Craig sighed.

"Really Ash?"

"Oh come on, it was funny!"

"Okay well, when you're done acting like babies I'll see you in the morning."

The three remaining creatures eventually managed to calm down and after a quick squabble between them on who got which room, even though they were all the exact same size and layout, fell asleep quickly enough and waited for the morning where they finally expected to find a way back home to where they belonged. Little did they actually know that in eight hours time, things would start going from bad to worse.