Dear Leader but He's In Equestria

by RickAndMicrophone

Chapter Eight but... that's it? That's the end of the fanfiction?!? That was just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!!!

Author's Note:

Dear Leader but He's in Equestria? More like Bore: Ragnarok.

Yeah, there were a few reasons why I had to end the fanfiction abruptly like this.

1. Even as a joke-ish fanfiction, this wasn't planned ahead from the very beginning, which was revealed to be a really bad idea a few years down the line. This should've just been a one-shot.
2. The premise of this fanfiction became "outdated" due to the slow writing, as in Kevin barely plays the Sims 4 because he's pretty much exhausted every feature in the game with Jim. I'm pretty sure now he's playing a Sim that's just himself, but I haven't caught up with the videos yet.
3. I haven't been watching a lot of Kevin recently. Thus, my interest in writing chapters for this thing has dropped significantly. I still like Kevin and the Dear Leader, but I'm not interested enough in them to write about them crossover or not.
4. I started writing this when I was in high school. I was a piece of shit in high school and should not have been trusted with writing fanfiction.

By the way, those ending scenes are just random. I just wanted to reach 1,000 words, so I added them in.

Stuart Little was then struck by lightning before he could say anything. Luna was perplexed, as the lightning bolt somehow phased through the castle and right into the mouse on her palms. So much for the exotic pet.

Suddenly, a royal guard burst into Luna's room.

“There is an army of humans and construction workers attempting a coup!” he shouted. “They've captured Princess Celestia!”

Princess Luna stared at the guard. “What?”

Suddenly, Jim walked into the room. “Hello, moon horse. You are now a political prisoner.”

The construction workers then arrested her for legitimate reasons. The guard was also arrested for being a snitch.

As for the Elements of Harmony, they're now trapped in Fecktopia and Jim has now dubbed the ponies “the Elements of Fecktopia.” When they went against the title, he sung Ring of Fire again and they cried tears of joy and agreement.

During the coup, they met a creature named Discord. He became third in command next to Jim and Turg. Turg became Vice Dear Leader after a lot of convincing. Secretary became fourth in command. She didn't mind as long as she wasn't an actual secretary again.

“How did you overthrow us so quickly?” asked one of the prisoners that happened to also be a former ruler.

“Cheats,” declared the green plumbob. “I cheated, because I was bored of doing this so-called 'strategy' thing and I completely forgot I was a literal God. Also, the author just gave up on trying to make a coherent plot out of whatever the hell this is.”

“It seemed more in character for me to just somehow randomly become leader anyway,” said the Dear Leader, shrugging.

They all went outside of the castle where the totally not brainwashed ponies started chanting Jim Pickens's name.

Lord Jim Pickett suddenly walked up to the Dear Leader.

“Where's my land?” he inquired.

“You can have all of it,” the Dear Leader declared, making everyone gasp.

“You're not even gonna keep the land you conquered?” the princesses asked simultaneously.

Jim Pickens shrugged again. “This place has no pufferfisheria. I think I'd rather go back to my homeland where I can serve raw pufferfish.”

“So you decide to conquer our land and give it to somepony else, all because you wanted to go home?” shouted Luna.

“No, I wanted to rule the land, but then after three years of looking around I realized this land is not for me,” Jim shrugged. “You ponies care a lot about friendship. I'm going to outlive all of my friends. We are not the same. ”

“What?”

“I made Jim immortal with many Elixirs of Life,” declared Kevin.

“This is going to severely affect the economy,” muttered Princess Celestia.

“Lord Pickett did offer me a lot of money for the land,” Jim Pickens said, nodding in agreement.

Suddenly, a portal opened in front of Jim.

“Hey, you fecker! The restaurant has been without your supervision for like three years give or take,” said Shrek on the other end of the portal. “Also, there are three Minecraft horses outside with some Mii named Turg and a time machine of some sort. I don't get it.”

“Turg,” said the Turg that already went back in time.

“I get it now.”

“I order everybody to come to my restaurant and buy the raw pufferfish,” announced the Dear Leader of Equestria.

His loyal subjects obeyed as the restaurant was now filled with ponies and humans alike. The Pufferfisheria's business was booming once more.

“Another day, another infinite supply of cash,” the Dear Leader said to himself with a smile.

Also, the princesses were killed via guillotine.

---

Kevin looked at his computer screen for a long time before deciding to end the video.

“It looks like we're going to end it here,” Kevin said. “I hope you enjoyed the video. I appreciate you watching as always and I do hope to see you next time. Bye for now.”

“Hey, Kevin,” said RTGame, who broke into his arch-rival's house.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Kevin asked angrily.

“You've not left your house for three years,” RTGame told him. “You should probably touch grass or something, man. Everyone's worried about you.”

“My Sims game is corrupted,” argued Kevin.

“Have you tried turning your computer off and on again?”

Kevin turned his computer off. Suddenly, the entire universe was taken by Ralph the Darkness.

This universe no longer exists. Suck my cock.

- An unowned corrupted Sims 4 game

“I never feckin' liked ponies anyway,” cried Jim, the lone survivor of the sudden heat death of the universe. “Ah well, I might as well just turn Kevin's computer back on again.”

Jim used his godly swimming abilities in the void to reach Kevin's recording equipment that also somehow survived the heat death of the universe.

He then turned the computer back on.

…

Then when the universe didn't do a Big Bang or something, he decided to record a let's play on some phone he found that also somehow survived in the void.

“Hey there friends! How's it going? My name is Jim Pickens and today we're going to be playing God Simulator!”

---

Kevin looked at his computer screen in great confusion. Some deranged fan sent him a fanfiction about Jim Pickens ruling the land of My Little Pony for some reason. He thought it was a ridiculous premise and thus, decided to read the entire thing. It was pretty short, so he finished it all in about an hour.

“Huh? That was it?” he asked himself. “Some fecker worked on this for three years and that's how this story ends?”

Kevin shook his head. “Jim didn't even kill anyone until the end. This story is unrealistic as shit.”

Kevin then went to the supermarket to get some things. Unbeknownst to him, the Supermarket Monster was waiting for him and then killed him.

"I am the Supermarket Monster and I have killed my own creator," Ron announced. "He was my enimie."

---

Kevin looked at his computer screen in great confusion and anger.

"Why the feck would the Supermarket Monster kill me? I am Ron's creator! This story is unrealistic as shit."

Comments

[midnight arrow]

love this story so i got one thing to say "Rick and Morty? More like Rick and Microphone"

edit did not read your profile description so I have something else to say
"Thor Ragnarok? More like Bore Ragnarok"

[RickAndMicrophone]

11259009
Glad you liked it. Also, I believe there is a typo in your comment. You clearly meant to say The Pacifier instead of Thor: Ragnarok.

[midnight arrow]

11259511
u are right i forgot it was the other guy in the video i heard it but it was still a quote from the video i just forgot about that one

[Plswork334]

9565340
Did you show this to Kevin yet?

[RickAndMicrophone]

11408773

9564685
https://twitter.com/JimPickensPony/status/1591980107517796355
It took me way too long to actually do it. I am sorry.
Also, I had to make a throwaway because I don't use Twitter.

EDIT: Well, a lack of response is about what I had expected. Oh well. This meme was fun while it lasted. I asked Twitter to deactivate my account, so the link no longer works. This was all I was going to use it for lol.

[RickAndMicrophone]

11473287
True. He was never proven guilty of anything.

11473298
Princess Celestia was Twilight Sparkle's father all along? What a twist!