After messing around with a portal spell Twilight Sparkle discovered that she could travel to other worlds, Twilight, the other five members of The Mane Six, all three Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Macintosh, Shining Armor, all three alicorn princesses and Spike become friends with the residents of these worlds and have adventures with them.
Page generated in 0.103 seconds
Total duration
976 users online
1,258,197 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
What is this a crossover with? Put on read later list for now.
1052033 It's a crossover with ,Avengers, Blazblue, Dragon Ball Z, Justice League, Street Fighter and Transformers Prime. If you read the story you would know that.
1052051 Holy shit...that's awesome.
Oh yeah and Spiderman is in it too
1052051 (If this is a trollfic, as I suspect it is, please disregard the following, but if was a genuine effort then please enjoy my notes.)The whole point of a synopsis is to give potential readers an idea of what they're in store for. This is especially helpful when doing crossovers, as the mere mention of certain series will attract readers out of sheer fandom. You certainly didn't have a problem listing every one of the ponies you were involving, even though a simple "Twilight and her friends" would probably suffice. In regards to your story itself, there's allot you could work on. Your introduction seems to run into the beginning of the actual story; you may consider using italics or breaks to separate author's notes from the rest of your fic. You really just delve right into the story, without any semblance of set up. You mention that "Twilight was messing around with a portal spell", but really you should have a prologue or first chapter dedicated to establishing how our favorite group of ponies ended up in this orgy of crossovery goodness. You suffer from a tendency to soar right through events, simply stating that "The third event was boulder toss won by Wonder Woman." You could make entire chapters out of these events, or at the very least they warrant their own paragraphs. Take your time and deliver a thorough stream of descriptive words to help paint every aspect of how you see the scene play out in your mind. Go to the Groups and find yourself a pre-reader/editor to help you develop your ideas and translate them into a colorful and interesting story. Most importantly, take your time. You never have to rush your story, literally no one will get hurt waiting for it. Read it, and re-read it, try to picture how someone who is unfamiliar with some of these series will interpret the characters, and ask yourself "Have I done a proper job of representing these people from other shows/stories? Will an outsider understand what's going on as well as a long time fan?" You have a lot to improve on, but the concept of multi-universal crossovers is always fun to think about, even if it is sometimes hard to deliver. Anyways, I hope this helps.
-LeafLock
Ok im just going to say it this is just tomach crossover in one story to work i mean i got to the 3rd paragraphe and my head hurt there is a limet to how match crossover you can do at one time and still have story and this past it when it reached 4 worlds+ mlp speshaly when murging worlds. Im sorry but toman crossover for one story to hope to have a story this is fail fan sevas.
I'm afraid this isn't exactly a story. This is... Exposition. You're telling us what happens, yet not describing it or going into detail. Like, maybe explain how Spiderman was fighting off the changeling army? I only have two words to sum up this kind of writing.
HOW? EXPLAIN.
Would you like some ideas to help with your story. Even if it is cancelled