• Published 15th Jul 2019
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The Centurion Project - TheEighthDayofNight



Elias "Rubrum Aquilae" Bright, the former leader of the Legio I Americana, on the run from his past, finds himself thrown into the conflicts of Equestria.

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Chapter 47: How much a human?

Elias glared daggers at the black ceiling of his room. He had gotten into bed over an hour ago, yet he was still painfully awake. Dawn was less than three hours away, and Elias was always up before dawn. If he didn’t sleep soon, he wouldn’t sleep at all. Again. For the third night in a row.

The human rubbed his face with his hands, letting out a long sigh as he slipped his legs from beneath his covers. He curled his toes in the lush carpet of his bedroom floor, then pushed to his feet, moving into his bathroom. He flicked the light one and moved to the sink, quickly turning on the hot water. Perhaps a warm towel would help him relax. He had read about it in some book, he forgot what about. Just another coverless image that sat in his library of knowledge. So much of it utterly worthless.

He had skills ponies had never even heard of, and even if he laid them out perfectly, they wouldn’t understand. Some were relatively benign; cleaning and repairing a dozen types of machines, particularly cars. He had quite enjoyed messing around with cars. He also knew more than a few skills that would impress children, but nobody else. He knew origami, or at least enough to make a swan out of a napkin. He knew how to make a few simple balloon animals, back when he still used balloons for enjoyment instead of weapons. He knew how to tie a million types of knots, though that too took a darker path. He could tie a noose in his sleep, if he could just close his eyes and rest. The list went on, a million skills that he either couldn’t think of a use for, or had bastardized them into violent shadows of themselves. Simple carpentry turned into knowledge on how to make booby traps. Fishing turned into laying snares for people, not animals. On and on his skills spiraled, all horrifyingly violent in some form or fashion. All of which would make the ponies throw him out if they heard even half of what he knew. It put his mind on a spin, driving the nail of his continuing lies deeper into his brain. He wanted to love ponies, and wanted that love returned, but how could he do that if they couldn’t trust him? For all his talk about lying and spies, he was the biggest hypocrite he knew of. The very persona all the ponies knew was a carefully crafted lie designed to keep them innocent and unaware. It was despicable, and it was just another in a long list of sins that made him no better than the beast Celestia thought he was.

Elias let out a deep breath, blinking his eyes open. He stared into his mirror to find it fogged, and glancing down found the sink overflowing. The water hadn’t quite reached the carpet though, so he gave it little more thought other than turning off the water and throwing a spare towel at the puddle on the floor. Elias took a washcloth and dipped it into the steamy water filling his sink, then wrung it out and walked back to his bed, laying it across the back of his neck. With a long sigh he flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, while doing his best impression of Lionheart. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make his brain empty enough.

Elias snorted at himself. It was sad that he had to create insults about some idiot that wasn’t even in the castle. That was the human in his mind he supposed. Antagonistic, derogatory, cruel and ever heartless. It was a sign that he hadn’t changed too much.

Elias sighed again and rolled onto his side, tossing the washcloth away. It had done nothing to relax him, and now he was merely damp, and restless. He stared at the wall, as his mind drifted back. What had changed? Not just his environment, that was obvious, but what had truly changed with him? He identified that he was still as cruel and angry as he had ever been, so why did it feel different? This wasn’t being woken up by night terrors, this was, in his mind, far worse. He couldn’t get to sleep at all, and every single thought he had turned inward, no mater how much he tried to focus it elsewhere. Only times of stress let him focus on other tasks during the night. It was like the sun rising drove away his inner demons in time to act like the big strong human his ponies needed him to be. But when the sun went down and he returned to his room…

“Am I really that dull?”

Elias blinked, then sat up, scanning his dark room. The voice had sounded almost like Other-Elias, but almost… heavier, almost like his voice was deeper. He couldn’t see anything in the dark, but throwing on a light without being absolutely prepared would put him at a disadvantage. Elias slipped a finger under his mattress and slowly pulled forth a spare knife. Before he could draw it forth however, the lights flicked on, forcing Elias to spring into action.

He rolled from his bed, and blinked rapidly to adjust to the light change. Knife in hand, he prepared to catch his attacker. He raised his arm to protect his throat and eyes, only for nothing to happen. He peaked out from behind his arm to glance around the room, and his eyes quickly locked onto the red unicorn sitting in his desk chair. The pony waited patiently for Elias to lower his guard, spinning a small knife of his own in a crimson aura of magic. Elias squinted at the pony as he shifted toward his armor stand.

“Who the hell are you?” Elias asked, buying time.

The pony would no doubt lie, and Elias suspected that he wasn’t a pony at all. It was just yet another infiltrator that he would have to deal with, no doubt trying to manipulate his mind one on one like Chrysalis had done with Shining Armor. Elias made sure to keep an eye on the pony as he inched closer to his armor stand, without meeting the pony’s eyes. He just had to grab a pilum. The long javelin would be invaluable in the close quarters. The pony huffed and shuffled in his seat.

“Elias, just listen. This isn’t a trick or a trap, and I think you already know that. Just calm down, stop going for a pilum, and sit.”

Shit. Was he telegraphing his movements that obviously? He had to be more cautious, perhaps lure the pony into a false sense of calm by going for his sword belt, which was sitting on his sandals at the end of his bed. It would be risky, especially with how close the pony was, but getting his gladius would definitely put things in his fa-…

“Elias, please stop,” the pony said with a sigh. “Going for your gladius won’t help either, because I’m not here to attack you. I just need to talk. That’s all. Just talk.”

Elias’s eyes narrowed. The pony was reading his thoughts. He hadn’t stopped moving toward the armor stand, yet the pony knew he was going for his gladius? The damned changeling already had its hooks in his mind. He had to act, and fast. The unicorn growled and stomped his hoof.

“I’m not a fucking changeling!”

Elias darted to his armor stand, snatching up a pilum and throwing it in one smooth motion. The pony groaned, and his horn lit up. The pilum stopped midair, held by a red aura of magic. The unicorn hopped out of his seat, then dragged the javelin closer. Elias watched as the pony ran his hoof across the javelin head, then held it out for Elias to see.

“There, I’m bleeding red, see? I’m not a changeling. We both know they only bleed green.”

Elias felt his bad eye twitch.

“It could be an illusion. A new changeling snuck in only a day or two ago. Slipped right under the magical exposure spell. They’re adapting, and fast.”

The red unicorn sighed and tossed Elias’ pilum to him.

“Come on Elias, just fucking sit down. I think you’re dragging this out because you know exactly what I am, but you don’t want to admit it.”

The unicorn tossed his black and grey mane out of his eyes and turned his back to Elias.

“Or just get it done with and kill me. You’ll just prove them right, and then we’re stuck. Really stuck.”

“Stuck?” Elias echoed.

The unicorn motioned to the bed.

“I’m not talking unless you’re sitting. Either talk to me or kill me. I’ll wait quietly for either.”

Elias eye the unicorn up and down as he sat at the desk again. The pony waited silently, blinking quietly with his brilliant blue eyes. Those eyes looked awfully familiar, but Elias couldn’t quite place where he had seen them before. Probably nowhere, he had never seen the pony before him before after all. He was a threat, kill him.

“Well?” the pony asked quietly.

Elias let out a long sigh and moved around the bed. He scooped up his sword belt, drawing Feather free. The blade flicked back and forth dangerously for a moment, then Elias sat down on his bed, pulling out a cleaning rag. He let his eyes drop to his sword as he began to clean the blade.

“Speak. I’ll decide if I’ll kill you when I’m done.”

The stallion sighed and smiled.

“That’s my kind of answer. You had me scared for a second Elias, I didn’t think being around ponies would make you into a worse person. Hell, if it had, I wouldn’t exist.”

Elias’ mismatched eyes flicked up to the pony, who grinned back. Elias snorted dismissively as he went back to his gladius. His mind seemed to work at a snail’s pace, but he was putting the pieces together.

“So what are you, some kind of manifestation of what Luna is trying to turn me into? Some kind of soft pony stooge?”

The unicorn snorted.

“More or less, just without the stooge part. Besides, you act like you haven’t already made progress into being a pony.”

“You’d better pray I haven’t,” Elias responded without looking up. “Because whatever you are, I have a feeling you can die quite easily, and cutting away the ponies I have allowed to stay close is easy. Cutting butter is more difficult.”

“Is that why you’re going to Book Binder and Night Flash’s wedding with Luna?”

Elias’ eyes flicked up again, and he had to resist the urge to not cut the smug pony’s throat. His hand twitched, and a voice in his head urged him to strike. He let out a long breath as he focused on his sword.

“Accuse me of weakness again, and I’ll walk to Luna’s room right now and tell her we’re through. I need to be a general first; a human general. It’s what these soft ponies need.”

The red unicorn winced and shuffled in his seat. Elias could feel alarm emanating from the pony as he frowned.

“That’s… I think we started wrong. Let’s just…”

The pony took a few deep breaths, then seemed to mutter to himself for a moment. Elias felt an itch on the inside of his ear, like someone was whispering in it, but he couldn’t hear a damn thing. The pony’s ears flicked, and he took one long breath before sticking his hoof out.

“Hi Elias, I’m Red, your pony manifestation.”

Elias stared at the pony blankly for a moment, then snorted, ignoring the outstretched hoof.

“And just how did I come to be a pony?” Elias replied.

Red held his hoof up for a moment more, then sighed and let it drop.

“That’s… a complex question. Technically I don’t exist anywhere but your, or rather, our mind, but, I am pleased to tell you that we can become a pony at any time if we so choose.”

Elias snorted again and looked up to Red.

“First, no. I already said I need to be a human general, and if you had even a shred of intelligence in that stupid pony body, you’d know that. Second, the answer is definitely no, because you’re weak. I need to be a strong, battle hardened leader, and you aren’t it. You pouted when I didn’t shake your hoof.”

Elias regarded the pony with disgust, inspecting him from top to bottom.

“On top of that, you have no muscle mass to speak of. Do you even know how to swing a sword?”

Red growled.

“I can fight just fine. I’m the same as I ever was, I’ve just been offered more. It’s an opportunity I recommend you take.”

Elias waved Feather through the air, checking each side of the blade to ensure that it was clean and sharp.

“And just who is offering this magical transformation of yours? The tooth fairy?”

“The Keepers of Harmony,” Red replied smartly.

Elias looked to the pony in disbelief.

“The gods of Equestria are offering me, via a piece of my own brain that I have never encountered before this exact moment, the “opportunity” to become a pony, a few months before what is bound to be one of the most violent and bloody marches in Equestrian history. Am I getting that right?”

Red huffed.

“It’s more than that if you’d just let me talk for a fucking second. I haven’t gotten even a piece of my explanation in without you being a cynical jackass.”

The pony snorted and crossed his hooves.

“It’s no reason we find it so hard to make friends.”

Elias ran his tongue across his teeth, then chuckled and shook his head. He spun his legs around the side of the bed, and faced the unicorn directly.

“Alright then “Red”,” Elias said. “Make your little sales pitch, let’s hear what literal gods have to offer me.” Elias tapped his chest with his gladius. “I won’t say a damn thing until you’re done, but I want everything. Start with what you are, how you came to be, then move to what I’m being “offered”.”

Red smiled and shuffled in his seat again. Elias watched his movements closely, though for what reason, he didn’t know.

“That works for me,” Red said. “Just keep an open mind Elias, I promise that nothing but good can come from this, if we just listen and think it all the way through.”

Elias spread his hands.

“Then speak, because I am all ears.”

“Let’s start with what I am. Again, my name is Red, and I am currently a part of your mind that has accepted life in Equestria, as a pony. With all the cuddling, snuggling, and friendship that entails.”

The unicorn paused, clearly expecting Elias to interrupt, but the human said nothing, merely rested his hands in his lap as he sat cross legged on the bed. Red’s tail twitched with excitement as he continued.

“As for your second question, I came to be over a long process, though if I had to pick a single moment that I… existed, I would say that it was Hearth’s Warming Eve. Remember when we were all snuggled up against Luna?”

The unicorn shuddered and closed his eyes as a happy sigh left his lungs.

“Oh, it was so warm, and snuggly and just… great.”

‘You and I remember things differently,’ Elias thought. ‘I distinctly remember feeling the loneliest I’ve ever been, followed by near death, then letting my heart bleed out.’

Red nodded enthusiastically.

“Exactly! We started Hearth’s Warming completely at our lowest, but by opening our heart to Luna, and then allowing Book Binder and Night Flash back in, we took a step toward being a pony! It’s when I really began to manifest!”

Elias had forgotten that the pony could read his thoughts. He needed to figure out how to… His brow furrowed as he tried to think without thinking. Red gave him an odd look as he continued speaking.

“Finally, the opportunity we are being given is simple to explain. You see, the Keepers have been keeping a close eye on us since we came to Equestria, but they like to take a hooves off approach, so they merely watched and waited, analyzing every little thing about us, including how our brain worked.”

The unicorn grinned and sat up, puffing his fuzzy chest out.

“Did you know that ponies and humans share a ninety percent compatibility ratio? It takes next to no time or magical effort to switch a pony to a human and back again! The only issue comes in respect to acquiring a genuine Equestrian sou...”

Red shook his head, blinking rapidly before focusing on Elias again.

“Sorry, the Keepers mixed a bit of the Element of Magic in my personality to bring me to life. That won’t happen if you chose to become a pony, promise.”

Elias stared at the pony silently, waiting for him to continue. Red chuckled nervously, then spoke.

“Anyway, The Keepers have been keeping a close watch on us, making sure we weren’t some big danger they needed the princesses to take care of. It was them, on Hearth’s Warming, who filled us with harmonious song, and it was them who helped connect Luna to our song to get her to save us. Without their help, we would have died there and then.”

“Why did they help us?” Elias asked

He needed to keep the pony occupied. Red didn’t seem to notice the stray thought as he grinned, no doubt thinking that Elias was hanging onto his every word.

“They saw an opportunity! You see, alicorns were basically created as Equestria’s primary defense. The Keepers choose ponies who are exceptionally good, grant them enhanced abilities, and then prolong their lives for a “contract”, something like ten thousand years or some such. It varies each time.”

Red waved his hoof.

“The numbers aren’t super important. What is, is the fact that Luna used her powers and went rogue. The Keepers have been looking for a good way to make sure she doesn’t turn again, and they believe that we are that method. That brings me to the last point, their offer. If we accept, not only do we have their permission to marry Luna,”

Elias’ widened with shock.

“Woah now, that’s a bit forward. We haven’t even done anything together, let alone start talk of-…”

Red snorted dismissively.

“Save it for everypony else Elias, I’m you, I know our feelings. Sure, you haven’t figured them out all the way, but marriage is down the line somewhere. This just speeds things up and makes them simpler!”

The unicorn hadn’t noticed his movements. Why was he doing this? Good.

“Anyway,” Red continued, “we’ll get permission to marry Luna, we’ll be granted an extended life, so that she doesn’t outlive us, and we get changed into a unicorn, specifically me. If we do good; you know staying loyal, helping out, the like, we even get a free pass to th-“

Elias made his move in an instant, and his dagger plunged without mercy into the pony’s ribs. Red gasped softly, meeting Elias’ snarl with a look of pain and shock. Elias blinked in surprise when he realized that the pony looked incredibly sad. Disappointed even. Then he felt a prickle in his ribs, and Elias choked. Blood spilled out of his lips and down his chin, and Elias quickly found that it was hard to breathe.

He collapsed on his side, and to his surprise, Red didn’t. With a small gasp of pain, the pony pulled out the knife and sighed as he inspected the blood on it. His eyes flicked down to Elias’ for a moment, then back to the knife.

“I just want to know why,” the pony whispered. “It’s a good deal, and I know we hate who we are now, so why? Why try to kill this part of yourself?”

Elias felt fear and confusion flash through his mind, and he stared up at the pony as he struggled to speak.

“I… don’t know,” he managed to gasp out.

Blackness began swamping his vision, and Elias felt himself slipping away as the pony growled.

“Don’t worry Elias, it’s not your fault. I figured it out.”

The pony hopped out of his seat and rubbed Elias’ leg.

“Go to sleep, I’ll deal with this bully for now. You need a good snuggle break.”

The pony growled as somebody cackled out of Elias’ view. The human continued to choke and his vision continued to diminish as the sound of spell discharges filled the air.

Elias shot up with a gasp, panting hard as a pony shape squealed in the darkness beside him. The pony flopped off the bed and thudded to floor, but Elias didn’t care about the intruder. He scrambled as he ripped his tunic in two, feeling his ribs. His fingers scanned everywhere, even going so far as to touch the chitin on his hip to confirm that he hadn’t been stabbed. He panted desperately, trying to collect himself as he felt tears streak down his cheeks. He… It had felt so real. The choking, the knife. It all hurt so damned much.

Elias wanted to wrap his arms around himself and cry his way to sleep, but the thought of being alone, of having another nightmare like that…

The pony popped his head back up, and Elias managed to retain enough of his sanity to recognize Snowball. The loveling’s floppy ears flattened against his head as he stared at Elias.

“G-General? Are you alright? I… I was coming by to get some love, like we had talked about? B- but you were so distressed, so I let myself in and…”

Elias reached over the side of the bed, snatching up the loveling into a tight hug. Elias felt the floodgates break under the combined pressure of months of lonely stress and his lifelike nightmare. He cried hard as he hugged the bug-pony close to his chest. Burying his face in Snowball’s fur, he cried without shame, just desperate for any kind of comfort.

The emotivore was kind enough to return Elias’ hug after he overcame his shock. Elias felt the loveling rub small circles on his back, and he heard small shushing noises come from the loveling’s mouth. The bug-pony embraced him fully, and Elias couldn’t help but feel his heart warm. It felt good to just hug a pony. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed it, and it felt like a physical ache in his heart was eased by the loveling he was clinging so desperately to.

Elias felt a light tug on his chest, and his tears eased enough for him to regain enough sense to momentarily pull away. Snowball took a deep breath and smiled, then opened his eyes. They positively shined at Elias as the bug-pony snuggled against his chest.

“You have all the makings of an excellent love-sponsor,” Snowball said quietly. “I took more than enough to feed me for the week, yet you’re positively swelling with gratitude and love.”

Elias felt his grip on the loveling loosen, but before he could truly let go, Snowball tightened his grip, and he nuzzled Elias’ cheek until the human met his eyes. Snowball smiled lightly.

“It is no insult General. Love-sponsors are some of the most valued members of any hive, and I meant it in the best way possible. You are a very caring individual, and anypony who knows you knows that.”

He nuzzled Elias’ neck.

“And I think it makes you an even better leader. Everypony can see that you care.”

Elias felt the loveling lock his grip around Elias’ chest, and he felt Snowball smile as he rested his chin on Elias’ neck.

“Now General, it is time to let somepony care for you. Let’s start with your nightmare, hm?”

“I… I can still imprison you for this,” Elias threatened weakly.

Snowball nuzzled his neck.

“But it won’t make you feel any better. You’re hurting General, and I swear to you right now that nobody, not even my queen will hear of this. This is just between us. Speak, please. I need to know what’s on your mind so that I can give you appropriate comforting.”

Elias shook his head. That was too far, he shouldn’t have ever made a deal with the loveling, should have driven him far away. The nightmare had gotten him too shaken up, had gotten him running scared. But he also needed this. What had Red told him to do.

Take a cuddle break, Red’s voice whispered in his mind.

Elias sighed and laid back, keeping his arms around Snowball. The loveling took it as a good sign, and he nuzzled Elias’ chest before settling, his purple eyes staring expectantly up. Elias let out a long sigh.

“I… you swear you won’t say a word of this to anyone?”

Snowball smiled.

“Not a word, I promise. This is all for your benefit General, just let it out.”

Elias flinched at the word general. It bore so much pressure, was the central reason for so many of his problems. His legs subconsciously tucked closer to his chest, stopping only when he felt Snowball’s legs. He fell silent, just absorbing the feeling of having somebody, anybody next to him. The warm feeling of another warm body was simply relaxing, and it set Elias’ mind alight on what he should do to ensure that he always had the sensation. On one hand, he had a small army of friends who would jump at the opportunity to snuggle every night, but on the other, he still needed to stay strong. A part of his mind ensured him that the best way to do that was to remain aloof and alone, but he was beginning to doubt the voice, and it made Elias paranoid. If he couldn’t trust his own instincts, what could he do? IT was terrifying to think he couldn’t rely on himself, and Elias felt a shiver pass through his body. Snowball rubbed the small of his back.

“Just tell me what’s wrong General. I know we haven’t really known each other for long, but I can feel your pain, and I am here for you. Let it out, you’ll feel better.”

“You can start by never calling me General in private again,” Elias snapped. “I hate that fucking title, I always have!”

Snowball frowned, never stopping his gentle rubbing.

“I… My apologies General, but I thought you loved your job. You always seem so energetic, so ready to work.”

“Think again,” Elias replied, curling tighter into himself. “I hate being a General, and I hate leading ponies.”

He was pathetically weak, spilling all of his emotions all over the place. To a spy no less. No doubt the loveling would teach him a lesson and report his every word back to his queen. It would be a suitable punishment Elias supposed as he continued speaking.

“I hate teaching ponies to fight, to kill.”

He shook his head.

“Ponies are by and large too kind, and they shouldn’t have to deal with ugly realities that humans have to deal with. They don’t deserve war and death, and I’m tired of showing them what both look like.”

Elias rolled over. He didn’t want Snowball to watch him cry like the pathetic fool he was.

“Do you even know how old I am?” Elias said with a sniffle.

The air sat in silence for a moment, then Elias felt Snowball shake his head.

“I’m afraid not,” the loveling said. “I never thought it important to go looking through your medical records. With your advanced knowledge and leadership ability, I always put you in your mid-forties.”

Elias chuckled bitterly.

“Mid-forties, that’s cute.” He stared daggers at the dark wall. “I’m nineteen. Barely an adult by human standards, and not even close to being an adult by pony standards. I shouldn’t be dealing in death, shouldn’t be teaching others how to kill, yet here I am. The “Hero of Canterlot”, a trained killer training up more killers.”

Elias closed his eyes and sniffled.

“I’m just so tired, and so very alone. I didn’t want to lead an army, didn’t want any of this power or responsibility. I didn’t want any of this.”

A sob wracked his chest. Elias tried to stay quiet, but as soon as Snowball tried to comfort him further, the floodgates opened again, and Elias began to cry loudly. Snowball shushed him softly, and continued rubbing his back.

“Shhh, it’s alright…” the loveling paused, then took a risk, “Elias. Just tell me what you do want to do. What would you rather be doing, if not being a good, outstanding general?”

Elias could tell that Snowball was trying to play up how Elias acted, but he knew it was a lie. He was cruel, vicious. He regularly had his soldiers whipped, was liberal in his use of punishment, especially for failure. He was positively heartless, but he also had no idea how to do it any other way. Not one that would work at least. Elias curled tighter in on himself.

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “This is all I’m good for. I can’t offer anything else, and everybody knows that. The princesses wouldn’t have even kept me around if I wasn’t such a good killer.”

He felt Snowball smile.

“Hey now, that isn’t true. I’m sure you know all kinds of stuff, it’s just about finding what you enjoy. You find that, then share it with all your friends.”

“I enjoy killing,” Elias spat bitterly. “I enjoy the feeling of fighting somebody, coming out on top, and then erasing an enemy from existence. It’s a special talent of mine.”

He snorted.

“It wouldn’t matter if I could find something else anyway. I don’t have friends, not anymore. I pushed them all away.”

Snowball let out a long sigh.

“I know you think that. I can feel your pain every time you try to push them farther, but Elias, they’re still there for you. They can help you move past this… rut you find yourself in. Though you didn’t know about my deception until recently, I’ve been watching you for months. I know you’re more than a killer, more than this self-hating person before me. You feel genuine joy when something goes right, and though it’s sparse, your praise is filled with pure happiness. I can feel it because I’m an emotivore, but Elias, all of the legionaries can tell when you’re happy. The rarity of your praise makes it more valuable than gold, and ponies strive each day to earn just a small “good job”. It’s not quite love yet, but Elias, you’re close. Your ponies look up to you, you’re their idol.”

“And if they knew I was this broken?” Elias asked. “What would the ponies think then? Would they laugh at their frail, emotional commander? Would they lose all trust in decisions and training? Would they wonder why they tried to rely on the stupid human at all?”

Elias shook his head and closed his eyes. He wished he could just sleep. So many things would look better if he could just sleep. No night terrors, or nightmares, just blissful, empty sleep. He felt Snowball nuzzle his neck.

“Elias, the only thing that would happen if your friends found out about your feelings is that they would try to help,” the loveling said. “They care, they really do, I can feel it. Princess Luna especially. If you’d bring these doubts your having to her, she would no doubt-“

“Do nothing,” Elias snapped. “If anyone isn’t allowed to find out about this it’s her. She can’t know. She’s put so much trust into me, and I refuse to let her down.”

He left unsaid the reason why he valued her trust so much, but Elias had a feeling the loveling behind him knew anyway. Snowball remained silent for a moment, then slowly began rubbing Elias’ back again.

“Have you considered reversing your isolation?” the loveling asked. “To tell everypony, not about your doubts, but about your immense love for them? If you believe yourself cold and distant, it is a solution that I believe could benefit you. With your emotional burden lightened, then you could push forward until the end of the march, destroying your doubts.”

Elias sighed.

“But then I’d worry I wasn’t pushing hard enough. I’ve done things the soft way before, I let my family stay close, and it cost them their lives.” He frowned. “It all stems from the fact I should be strong enough to withstand all the stress and suffering in the world for the sake of people I care about. I have been before, why not now? Why do I suddenly care so much that it physically hurts to be away from my friends and family? What’s changed?”

Snowball seemed to ponder the question for a moment, then said;

“Elias, if I’m reading your emotions right, I think you already know the answer to that question. I’d like to hear your thoughts.”

Elias sighed again, staring blankly at the wall before him.

“I had a nightmare tonight,” he started, “and while that alone isn’t abnormal, this one was different.” He rubbed at his ribs where the knife wound had appeared. “I talked to a pony version of myself. I… see other versions of myself when I’m at my worst. This was different though. When I see another me, it’s usually so I can talk out a problem, but this… pony.”

Elias took a deep breath.

“It was different. He talked like he wasn’t me, while at the same time, was a part of me. He talked about an offer he was given by the Keepers-“

“Of Harmony?” Snowball asked. “And this other you, you had no knowledge of him before tonight?”

“No,” Elias responded. “I didn’t know he existed before tonight. Yet he comes from nowhere with an offer from the gods of Equestria. It should have been easily dismissible…”

“But you feel like there was something genuine about the offer,” Snowball finished.

Elias sighed, then sat up and nodded. Snowball shifted so that his head rest against Elias’, and the pair stared through the dark toward the bedroom door.

“It felt too real,” Elias said. “But the “offer” was something I couldn’t take, probably ever, but especially not now.”

He stopped, and Snowball glanced at him from the corner of his eye before giving Elias’ chest a small prod.

“What was the offer?” he asked softly.

Elias let out a long exhale before answering.

“He… said they offered to change me into a pony. A unicorn, like him. He explained this whole plan the Keepers had about me helping to prevent another Nightmare Moon, or something stupid. They also seem to believe I’m some kind of world ending threat, because they believe being a pony will put me under control.”

Snowball snorted.

“I doubt even being a pony will mellow you out. You seem like the kind of pony to spite the princesses for fun, except Princess Luna. You love her far too much to spite her for fun’s sake.”

Elias glared down at the loveling.

“And what does that mean?” Elias asked.

Snowball chuckled weakly.

“It’s not a bad thing, I swear, it’s just… Elias, I can feel your love for her. I don’t believe you would go out of your way to hurt her is all. You try to appease her as much as possible because you value you her.”

“I’m not saying you never go against her!” Snowball added as Elias’ frown shifted into a scowl. “You just tend to try and get her on your side, as opposed to Princess Celestia or any of the Solar generals, whose opinions you don’t value. For them, you fight tooth and nail to get your way, but with Princess Luna, you talk, and convince. It’s a softer method, but no less effective.”

Snowball smiled.

“I could count on one hoof the numbers of times you didn’t end up getting your way since I infiltrated your legion. You are extremely charismatic when you need to be, and stubborn every other time.” The loveling nuzzled Elias’ neck. “What I’m trying to say is that you are, from what I can tell, preparing everypony to the best of your ability, and I think you can afford to have some emotional wiggle room. I’m not suggesting abandoning your isolation, but start letting certain ponies back in, like you're doing with Princess Luna.”

Elias sighed loudly. Of course she was the center of everything. It couldn’t have been somebody easier.

“Luna. I think I’ve let her affect me too much. She’s made me soft.”

Snowball frowned.

“I disagree. I think she’s made you social, and because you are used to isolation, you are fighting to return to what you view as your norm. The truth is, being social is your norm now. I don’t know anything about humans, but you are a social creature, and contact is needed.”

Snowball tilted his head.

“Though I suppose you have already made a small step into re-socializing by allowing me to draw love from you. I personally have quite enjoyed this cuddling session, even if the talk has been a bit heavy. If you want my opinion, I think you should rest on this small progress for a week or two, then perhaps approach somebody else to include them. Take things slow, and show your love to any who want it.”

“Or I should cut everyone off permanently, including Luna,” Elias replied. He glanced down at the loveling, “and including you. Perhaps I made a mistake allowing you to stay, and that you are the source of my emotional weakness.”

Snowball sighed.

“If that is what you believe, I will not fault you Elias, but I think we both know that it is not something you want to do. You need somepony, and if it isn’t me, it’s somepony else.”

Elias sat in silence, thinking hard about the loveling’s words. They had done a great deal of talking, but he felt no closer to a resolution. The real issue didn’t stem from his relationship with his normal friends; it stemmed from his relationship with Luna. “Red” hadn’t even mentioned Book Binder and Night Flash, almost like the pony persona was okay with keeping them at arm’s length temporarily. No, the offer was about Luna, and Elias felt himself flush at the thought of marriage. Red hadn’t been subtle; he had said it straight. The Keepers of Harmony were essentially offering him Luna’s hoof in marriage, and while incredibly tempting, he had to think of a bigger picture. He had responsibilities to uphold, and he wouldn’t be able to separate his work life from his romantic life. He had to be the rock Snowball said he was. He had to be stubborn, and if he was married, he would have to be stubborn to his wife. That wouldn’t do, the last thing Elias wanted to do was hurt Luna. He just needed to keep her away, but wouldn’t that hurt her too? They were going on a date in a matter of days, and that was no little thing. It was a turning point, and Elias realized that he wasn’t meant to answer Red, at least not yet. His opportunity came at the wedding. He could either try to get closer to Luna, to firm up their relationship and to become more open about it, or… Elias frowned at the ceiling. He had to remain strong. Uncompromised. Stubborn. He couldn’t have everything.

Snowball jarred Elias from his thoughts as he tried to wiggle free of his arms. Elias blinked and reflexively tightened his grip.

“You’re leaving?” Elias asked, unable to keep a hint of panic from his voice.

Snowball’s eyes seemed to glow in the dark as they stared up at Elias.

“I thought we were done. You’ve been quiet for some time now.”

Elias rolled onto his side, taking the loveling with him.

“I was trying to sleep, but my pillow started wiggling,” Elias lied.

Snowball giggled, and wiggled upward to nuzzle Elias’ hair.

“If I may be so bold then General, is this a permanent sleeping arrangement? Because if it is, I would like to properly nest.”

Elias glared at the loveling.

“Call me general again, and I’ll throw you to the wolves.”

Snowball grinned.

“Noted. Otherwise…?”

Elias snorted and genuinely closed his eyes, resting his head on the loveling’s feather soft belly.

“You’re not my friend you dirty spy. I just needed to work out my thoughts, and now I need a good pillow. Nothing more.”

Snowball chuckled again.

“Of course Elias, nothing more. Good night.”

“Good night,” Elias grumbled in reply.

Snowball hummed softly as he waited for Elias to drift off to sleep. It didn’t take the human long, and Snowball shifted as soon as he heard snores. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to properly nest, and while he couldn’t do much in Elias’ bedroom, he could make the beginning of a proper nest. Snowball’s horn lit up, levitating a few spare blankets over to the bed. He gently lifted Elias’ head, then slipped the stack of blankets under it. Snowball stomped them into an appropriate nest, then settled into it, before setting Elias’ head back on his stomach. Elias snorted into his belly fur, and Snowball giggled as he felt a small burst of love from the human as he buried his face in fluff. Snowball snuggled his cheek.

“You’re going to make somepony very happy one day General,” he whispered.

Before Snowball could close his eyes to join the human in sleep, he felt a buzz on his horn. Snowball sat up as best he could without disturbing Elias and closed his eyes. His mind quickly traveled along the thin thread of the hivemind, and within a moment he was no longer sharing a bed with his general, but his Queen. The gray loveling smiled down lovingly at him, and her blue eyes shined as she smiled.

“Hello, my son. Is there anything to report from Equestria?”

Snowball felt a small palpitation in his heart as he gazed up at his mother. What nobody knew was that he wasn’t some ordinary loveling, he was a prince, and his mission to spy on General Bright had been his first venture out of the hive. His mother had been a heartbeat away from threatening war just to see him returned safe and sound, but Snowball had played the situation right, and now he had so much valuable information.

He opened his mouth to answer, then paused as he thought about the human that was snuggling his body, freely giving a bounty of love that could feed the hive for weeks. Snowball knew so much; despite the words he had spoken, Snowball had gained General Bright’s trust and friendship. General Bright was a cracked, breaking man with dozens of exploitable emotional weaknesses that could be used against him by anyone, changeling, loveling, or otherwise. General Bright also held severe doubts about his capabilities to command, and he was incredibly young and over-stressed. Finally, General Bright was isolated from his friends, and that made every other problem exponentially worse.

Snowball frowned up at his mother, who waited patiently for him to speak. He took a deep breath, weighing the decisions quickly in his mind. Though the mantle would likely pass to one of his sisters, there was always a chance, no matter how small, that he would one day become queen. He needed to make smart decisions. Even if it meant telling half-truths to his mother. Snowball sighed and smiled up at Queen Flos.

“I have good news my Queen.” His smiled widened, and his tail swished in their nest. “I made a new friend this evening!”

Flos smiled and nuzzled his back, drawing a purr from the smaller loveling.

“That is always excellent news Nix. Just who is this friend?”

Snowball’s mood dimmed slightly. General Bright hadn’t made a good first impression, and his mother would no doubt feel a bit angry. Still he had to be strong. General Bright was relying on him!

“General Bright,” Snowball said.

Flos’ mood quickly shifted, and her muzzle curled in a hard frown.

“Nix, I don’t think it is wise to grow close to the human. He is dangerous.”

Snowball nodded and did his best to sit up.

“I know my Queen, but he is also kind, and very loving. Please, take a small taste.”

Snowball let some of General Bright’s excess love filter through his mind and into the air. Flos looked doubtful, but her horn lit up with shining blue magic, and she reached out to collect the human love. She immediately gasped and recoiled. Snowball felt a moment of alarm, and he began to rise, but Flos quickly calmed and she nuzzled his back again.

“My apologies Nix, I was just surprised by the power of it. He is… quite giving.”

Snowball smiled.

“Yup! I have been debating whether or not to invite him as a love sponsor! I know things seem bad, especially with how he treated me when he found me out…”

“He threatened to execute you,” Flos spat.

Snowball nuzzled his mother’s chest.

“I know, but with good reason. Canterlot Castle has a changeling problem, and I have been tasked with helping destroy it. It is one of my new duties.”

Flos raised an eyebrow.

“By saying it is “one” of your new duties, it implies more. What else does the human have you doing? Something degrading no doubt.”

Snowball shook his head.

“Nope! I’m his snuggle therapy pony, and tonight we made big progress!”

He blushed as he let his voice drop from his shout, and he stared down as he smiled.

“I apologize my Queen, I can’t say everything, or really anything. I have earned his trust, and I can’t violate it.”

Snowball thought he heard a chuckle as she leaned over and nuzzled him again.

“Not ever for your dear mother?” Flos asked.

Snowball bit his lip and shook his head.

“Sorry?” he offered weakly.

Flos chuckled, louder this time, and nuzzled the top of his head.

“Don’t be. You do the hive well by being so loyal. I hope your good will rubs off on the human.”

Snowball beamed up at Flos.

“I don’t need to my Queen. General Bright is great, you’ll see. He’s just having a rough time right now, but once everything is done, he’ll be the nicest, most loving pony you could ever meet!”

Flos shook her head and snorted but Snowball caught a smile on her face.

“I shall take your word for it little one. If there is nothing else then, you should rest. We shall speak again soon.”

She gave him one last nuzzle.

“Loving dreams my son.”

He returned her nuzzle, then offered her a small kiss on the cheek.

“And you my queen. Give the hive my love.”

He closed his eyes, and within an instant, he was alone again. Snowball blinked as he felt a hand grab his stomach, and then with a small yelp, Elias flipped him over, hugging him tight into his chest. Snowball looked up for any signs of distress on the human’s face, but found none. If anything, he looked almost content. Snowball smiled and gave the human a nuzzle as well.

“And goodnight to you Elias. I pray to the Keepers that you have loving dreams.”

The loveling settled in, making sure the blankets were pulled up before he let sleep take him.

Author's Note:

Nix: the latin word for snow.

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