- Member Since 13th Oct, 2018
- offline last seen Aug 8th, 2023
Lunar Spice
I'm not very good at writing stories, but I love reading them. I am a recovering Grammar Nazi and I believe that AppleDash is life. PM me if you want me to edit your story.
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This was lovely. I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable; always hate to see writers/artists push themselves too far just for a
commissioncontest. But it's good hypno clop: simple and to the point, decent build up, some fun variety (the titles thing is great) and a little tease at the end.Is it had my mind immediately went to what happens if Celestia ever has to defend Luna from some Celestia supremecist ponies. "I am not the greatest alicorn, my Sister is alongside me, wait Luna no ..."
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....I never even thought about that
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Triggers are fun
One of the contest judges, just wanting to chime in real quick.
The spelling, grammar and writing mechanics were all pretty solid in this.
The premise is obvious what makes it interesting. I'm usually a bit cautious about non-con material but this is about the tamest kind of non-con I can think of so I just found it amusing more than anything.
The smut had decent build up relative to the rest of the story.
In terms of how the story utilizes the incest theme, it was a bit light. Celestia didn't seem to think much about what she was doing or the fact that Luna is her sister. If I'd replaced all references of siblinghood in the story with a more general f/f pairing, it wouldn't have changed anything significant in the story.
That aside, this story is a good example of using a small word count effectively.
Fun and quick.