And then there was that one time Trixie became a communist

by Blarghalt

Литые с себя оковы капитализма!

Trixie continued to sing songs of revolution and bloodshed of the worker pony as she carried her assorted bombs and firecrackers in a magic aura behind her. Her comrades thanked their lucky stars that she had set them down earlier before one of the TNT boxes poked their horn and exploded.

Behind Trixie, Hammer Jammer and Smooth Sickle were arguing quietly.

"Why are we doing this?"

"Look, we've been talking about dialectics and markets for the past twenty years and we have a chance to change it!"

"With what? Bombs?

"The bombs are rubbish! She has more magic than that little purple twerp that—"

The two professors suddenly rear-ended Trixie, who had stopped and was staring at something intently. It was a lime green earth pony, slowly pulling a large wagon of pears behind her. She paid no heed to Trixie and her little parade at first, but slowed down and stopped when she noticed Trixie looking at her and smiling.

"Uh, can I help you?" she said, one eyebrow raised.

Trixie beamed, "Why yes you can, comrade!" she announced, eliciting a confused look from the earth pony, "You can help spread the cause of revolution!"

Trixie took of of her box of explosives and set it upon the pile of pears in the cart, digging it in so it wouldn't fall off. The earth pony was too weirded out by this strange display of charity to protest. When Trixie believed that her payload was secure, she saluted the pony and begin to walk back down the road.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she yelled at Trixie.

"Tear down capitalism!" Trixie called back.

"Sorry," Smooth Sickle whispered to the earth pony, "Also, Viva la Révolution."

Pear Pin watched the strange procession march off in the general direction of Fillydelphia, and when they were out of sight she began pulling her cart once again.

"Why do all the freaks travel on this road?" she sighed.

---

The plain grey skyscrapers of Fillydelphia loomed in the distance as they began crossing into the suburbs of the city. When they began passing the first few well-kept frond yards with tacky lawn ornaments, Trixie sneered at disgust.

"Look at what the consumer culture have done to these petit-bourgeois. They've sold their very souls for plastic flamingos!"

This was the first thing Trixie had said in a while that didn't immediately call for the violent destruction of the upper classes, and Proley was compelled to join the conversation.

"Agreed, comrade," she said, and pointed toward the green grass of another nearby house, "Why, look at that abode. They could afford to feed fifty starving foals with the money they probably spend on upkeep."

"Indeed! And look at that weather vane! What madman would willingly put a rooster on top of their home?"

The others watched with fascination as each of the unicorns tried to one-up each other in finding the most decadent thing to criticize about the passing houses. It became heated, and reached a boiling point when they saw a house larger than most situated next to what was essentially a ruined shack.

“That does it!” Proley shouted, and jumped onto one of the explosive boxes Trixie was still carrying behind her, “I've been talking about revolution for too long!”

She scrambled inside the box and emerged a moment later, brandishing a rather large firework. With a spark from her horn she lit it, and let it loose against the cheap mansion. In one fluid motion the rocket ignited and screamed toward the house, knocking a hole in the door. All was silent for a second and then an explosion rocked the neighborhood, sending bits of shrapnel and wood everywhere.

Trixie and her cohorts watched the blaze in horror until Trixie realized she was carrying literal crates of evidence. Panicking, she threw the rest of the boxes into the blaze to get rid of them. Not a smart move; giant fireworks instantly sprouted from the fires of the house, visible to anypony within a twenty-mile radius.

"Look at what you did!" Red Flag roared.

"At least I did something!" Proley snapped back, gritting at the unicorn twice her size.

"Calm down, both of you!" Smooth Sickle interjected, "I know some friends here. We can stay there until this blows over!"

The whistles of approaching police was all the prompt they needed to follow Smooth Sickle, who ran off into the seedier part of town.

---

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Mysterious explosion destroys movie set!" a small news filly advertised to passing ponies, unaware of the perpetrators in the bar just behind him.

Trixie looked around the back room that they had been led to. It was dank and foreboding, with paint peeling off the walls and what little furniture there was stripped bare of everything but the moldy wood. Several tattered posters were thrown about the back area. One looked almost identical to the poster Trixie had scene on the post outside Canterlot, and another showed a black hoof smashing what appeared to be Princess Celestia's crown.

The denizens weren't too friendly, either. The grey pegasus pony that Trixie assumed owned the bar was in a corner of the room talking with Smooth Sickle, a rather lanky fellow who had one clouded white eye with a nasty scar going across it. His cutie mark appeared to be some kind of state or capitol building, but set aflame.

This tough-looking pony and Smooth Sickle conversed for a few minutes before walking over to the rest of the group.

"Comrades, this is my brother Sharp Sickle," he said with a smile.

"Mhm," Sharp Sickle grunted, switching the lollipop stick in his mouth to the other side.

"He said he'll hide us from the instruments of the capitalist state, at least for a while."

"Because you're my brother," Sharp Sickle added with a voice that sounded like he gargled gravel. He turned to Trixie, and she avoided looking at his bad eye, "Say, you ain't one of them teachers from that college up in Canter, uh, Canterlet? Lut? Forget about it about it. Whadya doin' with these folks?"

Trixie grinned, "I'm a vanguard of the revolution! Your brother and his friends helped me see that the system is broke and has to be torn down—violently!"

Sharp Sickle scratched his chin, "Mmmm. You ain't like my brother and his wait-and-see friends."

"Hey!"

Sharp Sickle glared at his brother, "When is the last time you actually did any revolutionizin'?"

Proley raised her hoof, "I blew up that house."

Sharp Sickle whipped around to Proley, his eyes wide with shock, "Wait, that was you? The last time we met you said that a socialist upheaval had to come naturally!"

Proley sunk down in the grody bench she was sitting on, and pointed towards Trixie, "Well, our new friend here has made me seen things a bit differently."

The grizzled pony sighed, and set his eyes on the window, "If you spineless horses can be antsed into bomb-throwin'...It can't really be time, can it?"

Red Flag nodded, "The poverty rate climbs each day."

"The working class needs a uniting force!" Hammer Jammer asserted!

"Cutting the branches of a rotten tree does nothing!" System Smasher called from the back of the room.

Sharp Sickle was silent for a moment, and suddenly lit up in a diabolical smile that made Trixie's blood run cold, "Well alright then! It's been a while, but I can call up a few of the old guard. It'll take a while, but I could get this place ready to start a riot by next week!"

Trixie waved her hoof, "I could help! Not to brag, but I'm very good with magic."

"Magic's the only way to explain how you got these chuckleheads to do anything," he muttered under his breath, "Alright, you want to help? There's an old factory just south of town that could closed down due to "lack of profit". Used to make cider. You get that factory cleaned up by next week, and you'll be an official member of the Equestrian Revolutionary Front."

Trixie's jaw dropped, "There's a full-fledged front?"

Sharp Sickle sighed, "Yes! Didn't they teach you about the Fillydelphia Uprising in—oh, nevermind; of course they didn't."

He then turned his harsh eye to the rest of Trixie's comrades, "You all help her. You're useless to me in this city."

Smooth Sickle frowned, "I grew up here!"

"Useless. To. The. Revolution."

Trixie was already out the door, and the others shuffled behind her and she practically leaped at the opportunity to jumpstart the revolution in an industrial area. She could hardly contain her excitement as she trotted toward the general area of the factory; why, she was so excited, she even told passing ponies.

"Can't you seeee? ♫," she hummed to a passing worker pony in overalls.

They had only traveled a small distance away from the bar, so Sharp Sickle heard the first line and a sense of dread washed over him. He peaked his head out of the bar to hear mysterious music with no discernible origin playing along to Trixie's lines.

"Not again..." he grumbled.

"Oh, little worker beeeee? ♫," she sang to another blue-collar pony, grabbing her face and smushing it.

"It's the Gala all over again," sighed Red Flag.

Trixie leaped onto a nearby abandoned cart. Inside she found a tattered old flat cap. She put in on her head while the music became a settled rhythm, and ponies on the street began to gather around. Ready, she began her speech:

I was like you once! ♪

You slaves of the system! ♪

Broken, tamed and beaten! ♪

Lacking proletarian wisdom! ♪

The music let loose a flourish, and Trixie levitated herself onto the top of a nearby trolley. Several of the ponies were confused,

"What's a proletarian?"

"I was a unicorn once?"

"I can't sing!"

The trolley conveniently broke down, sending steam everywhere. Ponies poured out of the trolley to catch Trixie's next few lines:

See your crumbling cities, and dirty highways? ♪

And you say "Why friend, it's only just a phase!" ♪

You say until you until you dying day! ♪

Well comrade I'm here to tell you ♪

There is another way! ♪

The rather gullible behavior that overtook ponies when they were in the middle of a song worked its magic, and already a few of the listeners were ready to hear Trixie's message,

"Another way?"

"Tell us!"

"Hey, who broke the trolley?"

Trixie took a deep breath, and the music reached another high flourish,

Revolution! ♪

"Revolution?" the entire crowd asked, "What's that?"

"What's that? What's that?" ♪

It's your only hope these days! ♪

In a world bit by greed! So evil, so grey! ♪

But if my words can't make you mad ♪

Listen to my comrades! ♪

Hammer Jammer felt the focus shift to him. He fought with all his being to resist the music and rhymes floating through his skull, but his willpower faded with just a few notes:

I'm Hammer Jammer! ♪

Greetings, comrades! ♪

And what she says is true! ♪

Well all have a story of exploitation! ♪

All of them horrible, and true!

I was a carpenter! ♪

It was hard work! ♪

But rewarding work all the same! ♪

But one day I was "no longer needed" ♪

I discovered worker's rights ♪

And know the capitalist's games! ♪

The crowd said some kind of mini-chorus, and Proley felt in the deepest part of her being that she was next. With a deep breath, she explained her story as well.

The song literally went on for hours, with every single pony in the crowd explaining what horrors the capitalists and aristocracy had inflicted upon them. When the song was finished, the entire crowd cheered with praises of Trixie and the ideals she had woven into her lyrics.

"You're right, comrade Trixie!" one yelled.

"How can we help further the cause of revolution, Trixie?" asked another.

Trixie smiled and pointed towards the direction of the factory, "First, we seize the means of production! Second, we seize the means of everything!"

The crowd roared with excitement and galloped behind Trixie, songs of red banners and new orders following them.

Meanwhile in Canterlot, Jet Set and Upper Crust were attending a dinner party and chatting with Fancy Pants. The conversation was pleasant enough until Upper Crust gasped. Everyone present turned to Fancy Pants, who had taken off his monocle and was looking at it closely.

"I say, my eyepiece appears to have shattered. Very curious."

---

Twilight Sparkle was reading a book in her home when the front door flew open, and Pinkie Pie ran in.

"Twilight!" she shrilled.

"What's wrong!?"

Pinkie grabbed Twilight and held her close, "It's the worse thing imaginable!"

"What? What happened?"

Pinkie's lip quivered, and her eyes welled up with tears.

"Somepony did a musical number without me!" she sobbed. She latched onto the unicorn as she cried a tsunami of tears.

Twilight facehoofed.

Comments

[Blarghalt]

Comments encouraged and all that jazz.

[Xerzes]

Bwahahahahahah

[Campi the Bat]

Propaganda-of-the-deed is better with ponies, albeit no more or less effective.

[Fimbulvinter]

A musical number without Pinkie. such madness has never before been concieved!

[Flare]

Long live pony Stalin, down with the capitalism

Trixie is best comrade, next step, Red Army

[KnoFear]

This needs to be a song in season 3.

[Vectored Thrust]

Oh Pinkie

[Blarghalt]

1567655

s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/newsfeed/000/187/633/72280%20-%20just_as_planned%20macro%20twilight_sparkle.png?1318897221

[Seattle_Lite]

Prepare yourself. You drew the short straw.

[Blarghalt]

1568854

Huh?

[Seattle_Lite]

You'll see soon enough : )

[mestreJ]

I don't know if this story is good or bad because the communists in this fanfic are neither anti-communist propaganda nor do they seem to be ponies who really master communist theory completely and know how to apply it to make a social struggle, but it's Trixie leading a revolution, I think it couldn't be something serious with her being the protagonist. Well it's better than the anti-communist propaganda and it's been interesting to read so far.