Chapter 46: And An Old Friend
Brooks rose to her feet, folding her tablet closed. "I assure you, your time trapped in here will be as brief as possible. If we could be sure it was safe, you could already be touring the observatory. I would much rather shake your hands than have you on the other side of a barrier. Well..." She held up one hand, glancing down at them and looking embarrassed. "Metaphorically speaking. Obviously you don't have... You get the idea."
She straightened, turning to Summer. "I hope you don't mind if we use this time productively while we wait for the results of our quarantine to be known. I'm going to send a member of my staff to ask various questions about the world on the other side. I'm sure Sharp here has had the chance to quiz you about life on our side, so it's only fair. We'd still like to prepare a team, or at least prepare to properly equip a diplomatic mission sent across to national authorities on that side. Would you mind answering questions for us?"
"Would you mind delivering my letter to my family?" Summer asked. "I didn't tell them anything secret, but you can screen it for details before you deliver it. I just want them to know I'm okay."
Brooks looked past her, apparently still waiting for Sharp to answer. But he only nodded towards Summer, grinning placidly until she finally answered. "I can get it delivered. I'm not able to promise that we won't have to censor parts of it. But so long as we can agree on that, I can make sure they get your message."
"Sure," Summer said. "If you have to. Just don't add anything. Do those ugly black highlights so they know stuff was cut out. Then we can tell you anything you want to know. Just don't talk to Kate about any of it. She's just going to lie to scare you away from contacting Equestria. That's not what we want, and it doesn't seem like it's what you want either."
She nodded, turning to leave. "A member of my staff should be here in the next few hours. We can speak in person once we've confirmed that it will be safe for both of us. Until then, it was a pleasure meeting all of you. Hopefully the rest of your time in the United States is more pleasant than your first week." She left, followed closely by her escort. They didn’t seem to know (or care) how to turn off the light behind them, so they just left it as they shut everything. Emerald emerged from the bedroom as soon as the door was shut, blabbering something in Ponish so rapid that Summer couldn't hope to understand it.
Sharp removed the necklace, and responded calmly, before replacing it a few moments later.
"What did you think?" Summer asked. "Was your first meeting with the Travelers what you imagined?"
He sighed, rising from his seat. "I'm not surprised that Kate found a way to ruin it. I just... They wouldn’t be afraid of us if it wasn’t for her. We wouldn't be locked away in this room. And she's probably out there trying to convince them to seal our worlds apart right now. It doesn't seem fair."
"At least they didn't shoot us." Summer pushed away from the desk, wandering back across the room. "It's a shame there was so much... inertia... to overcome, but it seems like they want the same thing we do." And it could've been so much worse. They could've wanted to use Equestria for secret military purposes. Then again, they still might. But if they were going to screw them, why even bother sending someone? You've been watching too many movies, Summer. They're not going to do that.
"They gave us a promise we can count on," Sharp said, staring through the glass at the empty room on the other side. "Now we have a way to judge whether they're going to be honest with us or not. I haven't enjoyed being locked up here... but if they're not trying to attack us, I'll consider it generally friendlier than the way you were treated. So I'll wait to judge until we find out they aren't going to be honest with us."
He took a few steps closer to her, lowering his voice to a sly whisper. Not that it mattered, since Emerald wouldn't be able to understand without the necklace anyway. He had to speak English no matter what. "Volunteering to come back with me, huh? How long have you been planning that?"
She shoved him, turning back towards the kitchen. She still hadn't eaten yet today, and her insides were starting to groan. Might as well take advantage of the meat and fish she could get on Earth while it was there. "I did say I hoped my job would end up on your side, Sharp. I just... thought it would be because I was going back, not because I didn't have a choice."
She stopped beside the stove, staring down at her claws. "This is me... forever, now." She paused, taking a few deep breaths. "All these months I was in Equestria, I knew that I'd be able to come here and fix it. I didn't really have my body stolen. I didn't have to think too hard about everything different. It was more like my real self was over here waiting. Except... I wasn't. He's just dead. I'm a girl forever. A... mare? Is that even the right word for a hippogriff?"
Sharp moved over to her, resting against her in a way obviously meant to be comforting. It normally would've been except right now. Now it was a reminder of everything she wasn't. Walking through that Doorway had taken the oversized duffel of baggage she'd been dragging along and smacked her in the face with it. Am I gay? Am I trans? Am I... human?
Her gut burned with guilt, but she couldn't even say why. "I shouldn't be..." She slumped to the floor, forgetting about her lunch ambitions completely. "I shouldn't be able to..."
"To what?" Sharp bent down beside her, meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry you didn't get your old body back, Summer. It would've been more convenient for all of us. This whole 'sickness' lie wouldn't have survived if we landed here looking like you. Or... would you prefer we call you something else? Theo, like before? It's... easier to say right now. Like 'Kate'. I could get used to it."
"It's not about my fucking name!" she squealed, spreading her wings wide and backing away from him. "I don't want... I don't even know what I want, Sharp. It's nothing you could do. None of this is your fault. It's nobody's fault I got sucked into the sky, except maybe my school for accidentally inventing the way to open portals between universes. Or... weaken the boundaries, or however it works. I don't care. But it doesn't matter. I just need... I don't even know. Time, maybe? It's my mistake for telling myself that everything would get magically better when I crossed over. It was a convenient fiction, so it was bound to fall apart. I have to cope with what I am, because I'll never be anything else. I'm... a bird. A girl bird, forever."
That was what made this hurt so badly. No matter how far away from the portal they got, no matter how powerful Feather seemed, there was still some way for her to be back to normal. While there was even a little hope, she could hold to that. She could keep going as a bird for a little bit longer! Even at the end, when she'd mastered most of her hippogriff abilities. Being able to change into a fish and back, flying—she could still choose to go back, have her vacation on Earth, see her family, then return to Equestria. But there would be no having her cake and eating it too. She didn't get to choose. She'd never be normal again.
Her next few hours weren't great. She didn't really want Sharp's sympathy, not when he was such a painful reminder of everything that had changed. But it wasn't like she didn’t want to be with him. Her decision wouldn't have been so hard if she hadn't found a new life in Equestria. Then she could've gone ahead and hated everything and at least not felt guilty.
It was probably around evening by the time she noticed she wasn't alone. She'd crawled into one of the bedrooms and locked the door, though that hadn't stopped Emerald from getting in. She made her way over to the bed, poking up from the ground and staring. At first Summer thought that would be the end—but then she spoke, and she realized Emerald was wearing the translation necklace. "Why are you so upset, Summer? I thought that meeting went well."
Summer sat up, pushing aside the blankets and trying to look presentable. She probably wouldn't succeed—there was no hiding how much she'd been crying. "It... it did. Almost as well as it could've. It would probably be better if they were just going to let us go, but they can't, not for another week. That's what they said... not sure if Sharp told you."
"He told me." Emerald crawled across the bed towards her, shoving the blanket away. It might've been strange to have someone else's child act like this. But Emerald had stopped acting like someone else’s child a long time ago. "So why did you run away? Why have you been in here all day?"
How could she even begin to explain this? "Because... it didn't really hit me until now, that... that I won't ever be myself again." She spread her wings for a few seconds, demonstrating how absurd she looked. Of course it didn't have the desired effect on Emerald, who only seemed more confused as she stared.
"Oh." Emerald watched her for a few more seconds, looking deep in thought. "You... cared a lot about that. What you look like and stuff? You want to be one of them again? The... humans?"
She opened her mouth to answer, but stopped before she had. Obviously she wanted to be human again, it should be the most important thing in the world. But when she tried to think about why, she found the words wouldn't come. She was embarrassed for her family to see her this way? She didn't want them to think she was gay? Because she wanted to seem normal and be able to go home? She missed walking along the canals when they were frozen, and the little narrowboats were iced over with wintery film? All that was true, but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth without feeling incredibly... selfish. Except for the bit about seeing her family again. But she still might be able to do that, even if she was never human again.
"I thought I'd be able to live both ways," she said. "If the Doorway worked like that, then it would be perfect for everybody. We could visit you, and you could visit us. But it doesn't work that way. When I got sucked through, I was changed forever. I'll never be human again, or a stallion again. I know that probably doesn't make a lot of sense to you, sweetheart... but it was important to me."
Emerald was silent for another long while, watching her. Finally she spoke. "I think... I think the smart way to think about it is, uh... uh... were you really going to choose any different?"
Summer blinked, staring at the filly in confusion. "Was I... what?"
Emerald stood up a little straighter, seeming to grow more confident. "Were you going to choose any different? In the end, you'd still have to pick whether you lived in Equestria or here, right? So what were you going to decide? If you weren't stuck, if there was nothing forcing you and you could go back to being human right now, forever... would you do it?"
Summer got up, hopping down from the edge of the bed and looking away. "It's a silly question, since I can't. There's no way to—"
Emerald was already in front of her, blocking the way for her to leave the bedroom. She spread her wings, flaring out as big as she could. Still far smaller than Summer, though she wasn't about to just shove past her. She was just a kid, and obviously she meant well. "Tell me what you'd pick," she repeated. "Would you not be a hippogriff anymore? Would you never visit Equestria again? Would you say goodbye to Sharp and me forever?"
"No," she stammered. "No, I... I wouldn't. But I didn't want to say goodbye to my family either. I wouldn't... I didn't think I should have to do either one. And maybe I don't. Maybe after enough time, I'll be able to visit them again, even though I'm a bird-thing."
Emerald smiled, apparently satisfied. "That's why you shouldn't be sad, Summer. This might've been scary, I'd be scared too. I didn't think coming to your world would be like this. It's got some amazing things in it, but we don't get to see most of them because everypony is so scared of us. But now you don't have to be upset, because nothing really changed for you. It just... forced the decision you were already going to make."
Summer stared at her for a few seconds, stunned. Then she reached out, patting her on the head. "Are you sure you're just a filly? You've thought about this almost as much as I have."
Emerald shrugged, turning up her nose. But Summer could smell just how satisfied she was with the compliment. "What can I say? I'm just really smart for my age. Everypony in Sleighsburg has to grow up fast."
Summer watched her go, and didn't follow right away. She needed a little more time to herself. Even though Emerald was right, and she'd been honest with the filly about her own choices, it was still a blow. But she could deal with it. She could accept the fact that she would never get her old body back. Accept that she was a woman now, or a mare, or whatever the word was.
Did that at least mean she could be with Sharp now, and not feel guilty and embarrassed about it? Or was it... even worse or something? It was a good thing her family wasn't terribly religious, or this whole thing would've gotten even harder to explain. I'm going back with them through the portal. I'm going back to Equestria. Better or worse, this is what I am now. I'm going to have to learn to live with it.
She could do that. She'd already done most of the heavy lifting during her trip across Equestria. All she had left to do was pull the trigger.
There was little to do over the next few days, other than bide their time. They had a promise, and a timeline to follow. She had no reason to think that Brooks hadn't been honest with them about it, and no realistic hope of escape even if she had been lying. Where would they have gone even if they tried to run?
Brooks was absolutely telling the truth about sending a member of her staff to ask them about Equestria. Mr. Diaz was there the next time Summer left the bedroom, talking to Sharp about Equestria. Food that time. The next time she walked past, he was taking notes about the animals that lived in Equestria, and the way they managed their forests. Over the next few days he returned with more questions every day, staying until they got bored of answering them. Most of the time Sharp was the one to talk to him, but sometimes he wanted Summer's perspective, and other times Emerald took her turn.
What they didn't do was learn anything useful from him. When Summer asked about how the tests were going, he told them honestly. "They don't tell me anything, that way I can't share anything I shouldn't say. But no news is probably good news. If something disastrous was coming out of the lab, it would probably change these questions. Suddenly it would be about how much you knew about the sickness, and what you were trying to do to humanity by hiding it. But obviously you aren't sick in there, and... you don't look like you're trying to get anyone here sick either."
"We're not," Summer said, without a trace of malice. "I've... never been ill once, not in the whole time I've been in Equestria. Do ponies even get sick, Sharp?"
He wasn't helping with the questions that time, though he wasn't far away. Watching another movie with Emerald, though he was the one with the necklace. Maybe translating, or maybe covertly listening to Summer's conversation with Mr. Diaz. "Yes, ponies get sick. I don't know how common or uncommon it is. We have hospitals and medicine and medical magic to treat the ill. Probably the same way you do things."
Mr. Diaz typed a few things on his little laptop, and went right back to questions. He had quite a massive script—probably enough to keep asking them things through the week until they were declared disease-free. Maybe that was the purpose all along, just to pacify them until they were safe to release.
But then Brooks's promises were proven true in another important way: the volunteer arrived.
At first Summer imagined that they were about to be released. Several soldiers arrived at their door, each one wearing the heavy masks and suits they'd worn on the first day. At least they had the decency to knock, even if they obviously didn't need to. "Come in," Summer called, making her way over to the door and blocking off Emerald. Whatever waited on the other side, the child probably didn't need the stress.
It was a little bit of a shock to be reminded just how... unfriendly things were out there. A spotlight, a trench, even some barbed wire. Now if only she could figure out if they were the ones being protected, or the prisoners. Maybe both?
The soldier standing on the steps outside didn't wear armor anymore—instead he had a full set of hazmat gear, fully inflated despite the blizzard outside. At least it showed his face, instead of those creepy-looking slits. "Theo Pichler," he said. "Do you mind if we come in? We've got a guest with us, someone you'll probably be eager to speak with after all this time." He gestured vaguely over his shoulder at the other soldiers.
She shrugged. She couldn't see anyone in that crowd who looked familiar, not with the tiny slices of their faces she could see. Maybe one set of gear wasn't as intense as the others, but that was all. Aside from this officer, the rest of the soldiers were still wearing their armored biohazard suits from their first meeting. "Sharp, do you have any objections?" It wasn't like they really had any choice.
"We're not doing anything else," Sharp said. "Anything new would be a welcome change. Just decide quickly, you're letting the heat out. Emerald will be fine, but I'm already freezing."
Summer rolled her eyes, then moved out of the way. To her surprise, the soldiers didn't file in one after another. The lead officer stepped in, gesturing forward with one hand. The crowd parted, and a single figure made their way up. Wearing... observatory-marked cold-weather gear, right down to the little symbol on the scarf. The same ones they sold in the gift shop, though most base crew held onto the free set they got when they first arrived.
The second figure pulled the door shut on their way in, confirming her suspicion that none of the other soldiers would be joining them. "I sure hope you were committed, because you've just been exposed. If there's anything in here, you've got it now."
"I don't think there is," said a familiar voice from inside the scarf. He reached up, pulling the hood down. There was no mask under there, no oxygen tank. Just unprotected skin. Corey looked down at her, wide-eyed and staring. "Good to see you again, Theo. How was your winter?"
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Why???
It's your body dude. Be as selfish as you damn well please about it.
I swear, Theo has some deep-seated self-confidence issues or something. Can't stand up for something as simple as your own name or body?
10030611
You know , alot of things can cause such disphoria. Possibly wrong body can do that too.E.g. galbladder disfunction. It's a mechanical reaction of brain "something is wrong" , misparced by consciousness, but it seem to catch up right now. Now, hormone disbalance can do that too... Theo is pregnant?
Chick.
I can't wait to see this story go mega, if it does. Haven't started reading yet, but I'm interested!
I've got to wonder: what is it about My Little Pony that encourages people to write diplomatic sci-fi fanfics?
10030744
Fans outside the intended audience who take ponies too seriously. Next question.
10030641
Did they actually do it though? Not from what I've read.
10030932
alright what is the meaning of life and the universe?
I'm beginning to really lose all interest in Summer as a character, because she keeps doing and saying stupid things like this.
She's been through the gateway twice. First time it was barely working. Second time with the thing (apparently) fully operation, but under Kate's control. That's it. Nothing in her experience demonstrates or implies the machine can't change her back.
I know that's not her real issue - but her insistence on this bullshit is just really annoying.
10031020
Insufficient information for empirical conclusions, theological answers notwithstanding.
10031100
What do you get when you multiply six by nine?
I still think she had a chance of getting back her old body till that final piece of her necklace came along. It sounded like something permanently changed in her after wearing the full completed necklace. Just as she got some clues about the past so did she might have exchanged her human form
10031317
A lot.
10031317
The same answer you get when you multiply 18 by 3.
Good on Emerald. I can understand the psychological impact of not getting the choice, but the end result is the same, and it's a healthy way to accept the hand Summer's been dealt. (Name used intentionally; she's even calling herself that in her internal monologue.)
Now it's just a matter of waiting for the test results. And catching up with an old friend.
Ah, seems the one 'expendable' person on-site was tapped for the control tests
10030703
Oh, even better, since she's hippogriff - part horse, part griffon (which is part cat and part bird) -- and being female, you get....
nagkitchick
10032749
Rolls right off Rainbow’s tongue.
10032875
The male version is studtomcock, of course.
Well, the alternative would be the words the griffon side uses. Which has its dangers.
A male griffon, after all, may not be too incensed if someone referred to him as a tom, but call a female griffon a pussy and you're pretty much guaranteed to need a doctor.
Hence the use of hen for the female griffon by so many writers. The male term in that set would be cock, not rooster, as if you call a male griffon by a term specific to chickens, you will also find yourself in need of a doctor.
Given the alternative slang uses of a couple of the aforementioned technically correct terms [yes moderators, I know your fingertips were twitching for a moment there, relax bronies!], it would only be natural to use the readily available equine terms in regards to hippogriffs, as stallion and mare don't carry potential misunderstanding or negative connotations.
Sure, you could use tiercel and formel, the terms for a male and female eagle (or hawk), respectively. But then there's Gallus, who's got more of a parrot look to him...
I think it's also rational to assume hippogriffs use the equine terms because stallion and mare would apply to both their birdpony and their seapony forms. So there's that, too!
Tl;dr: Yes, Summer. You're a mare, now.
10031978
It's a reference to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
A race of pan-dimensional hyper-intelligent beings create a computer the size of a city named Deep Thought and ask her for the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything. 7.5 million years later, Deep Thought comes up with the answer "42". When her creators are confused by the answer, Deep Thought tells them that she's confident she found the ultimate answer, but they didn't know the question to go with it.
Deep Thought directs them to build another computer, the size of a planet, to compute what the question is. That computer ends up being Earth. Unfortunately, the Vogons destroy Earth minutes before the calculation is complete in order to make way for a hyperspace bypass.
Later, Arthur Dent, who was part of Earth's computing machinery minutes before its destruction, tries to dredge up the question. He produces "WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU MULTIPLY SIX BY NINE?"
Of course, the Golgafrinchans introduced error into Earth's computational matrix, so the question is wrong. Later, another character gets an overdose of truth serum (such that he knows all things that are true) and he says that the Answer and the Question cannot both be known in the same universe, and as soon as anyone did, that universe would cease to exist.
Then again, 6 x 9 in base 13 is 42. When confronted with that fact, Douglas Adams said "I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base 13."
10033142
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10033221
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Make use of the leverage that you have.
Heh.
Or maybe intentionally!
I don't think it's selfish to miss a life that was ripped away without consent.
Pegafilly uses intimidate, it was effective!
Acceptance is an important step.
Medical knowledge and techniques are a good field to mine for trading possibilities.
This is a good development, unless of course Corey is in the hypothetical anti-hippogriff secret society.
I keep hoping that maybe one of the Equestria Girls shows up. Sunset would be perfect because Theo wouldn't know her.
Emerald, you have been the best since day one.
Well that is one good sign, the spooks did not murder Corey.