Chapter 43: With a Minor Setback
Summer probably should’ve been excited about this. In some ways, this meeting was everything she’d been waiting for, months of effort all focused on this single moment. She’d fought her way across Equestria, swam as a fish, and now she was back home.
Except… she wasn’t home. I need time to think. I need to figure out what went wrong. But it didn’t seem the US military authority now running the base was very interested in giving them time to figure things out. Maybe if I ask nicely they can put Kate somewhere else. I’d rather sleep with a polar bear in here with us.
“I’m going to keep this brief for our first meeting, Theodor Pichler,” said the man, settling his tablet on the table in front of him. “I’m not the one with the authority to be making first contact or talking to aliens. I’m under the impression that some of our information might not be entirely accurate, so I’m going to try and rectify that as quickly as possible. You want to help me, don’t you?”
“I think so,” she said. “So long as you’re not going to hurt my friends. They’re the first visitors from another world, they deserve to be treated properly!”
“You don’t have to make it so dramatic,” Sharp chided. “I don’t represent anypony. You make it out like the princess herself appointed our expedition.”
The man’s eyes went up. “Your companion speaks remarkable English. You found yourself a… polyglot? Wait, don’t answer that. It isn’t important right now.” He glanced down at his screen again, as though quickly memorizing something.
“On behalf of the United States of America, welcome to Planet Earth. I apologize for the conditions of your arrival—but we’re operating on the best available information that your species carries very serious disease. The accommodations you’ve been given, and the caution of our first meeting were… products of that fear. If we determine that contact is not so dangerous, we will not need to give you such secure accommodations.”
Kate twitched, poking her head up from the side of the room. She was going through the kitchen, but by the look of it, she hadn’t found anything more dangerous than a fork. “You’re putting yourselves at terrible danger by leaving us alive! You should burn everything while you can! Take down the tower! It’s the only way!”
The humans stared at her for a few seconds, silent. Summer didn’t doubt that a dozen cameras were watching her right now. For all she knew, half the world was watching this moment. I hope not. It’s gonna be awkward as hell to tell my family I’m a girl now.
“I’m Agent Barton, and this is my partner Agent Foster.”
“You know me,” Summer said. “This is Sharp Edge, he can currently understand us. And Emerald Aurora, she can’t. But I’m sure she’d be delighted to meet you if she could.”
Behind them, Emerald was creeping slowly closer. She didn’t have a lot of safe places to go—apparently the humans through the glass, now with eyes instead of creepy masks, were safer than the one who’d tried to explode them.
Barton smiled faintly. “Well, I’d shake your hands, if I could.” He held one out towards the glass, pointing across the room at Kate. “She speaks like the person we’ve been communicating with via Morse code. But she’s not the one in the picture.”
He lifted up the screen, tilting it towards her. Summer stared through the glass, eyes widening as she saw what Agent Barton was showing her. It was a little polaroid photo, not terribly high-quality, but blown up to fill the whole screen. It was the group shot she’d taken on her second day, still dressed awkwardly and with Emerald and Sharp around her.
I had no idea what was coming. That was supposed to be my last moment in Equestria, but that wasn’t what happened. “How do you have that?” she asked, flabbergasted. “That was… I’d only been there a day. I’d just been transformed…”
“Clearly it beat you here,” Barton said. “Look, the ones who pay all the bills want us to ask about the most important question first. You hear what she’s yelling. That’s what we’ve been hearing for the last few months. Gruesome detail about the disease that infects every human being with total virulence. The list of symptoms she gave us… vomiting blood, organ damage, cancerous growths, anal leakage…”
He turned up his nose at that, frowning. “Could’ve put ‘spontaneous loss of major limbs’ and it would seem more realistic. But I can see at least something is true. You do claim to be the same Theodor Pichler who went missing nearly six months ago, right? And you realize he should look like…” He flipped through another screen, holding up the tablet again.
It was Theo’s staff ID photo, wearing a plain tan jumpsuit and looking incredibly bored for the camera. Did I really look like that? My whole body is so… squishy.
Even talking to these humans was getting annoying in its own way. They were incredibly tall, towering over her and her friends. Not with any particular malice, they were just… twice the size of ponies.
“That was me,” she agreed. “It wasn’t a disease. That woman back there has been lying to you since you first got in contact with her. She doesn’t want you to have anything to do with Equestria. Also, she’ll probably try to kill us any second. Do you think you could do something about that?”
Kate growled at them, advancing slowly from the other side of the room. It was a good thing she announced her presence, because otherwise Summer might not have known. “You have no right contacting Equestria. The world over there is pristine, undamaged by mankind’s greed and excess. The only moral thing you can possibly do is to send me back and forget you ever saw us. Then dismantle that tower for good measure.”
Sharp rose from his chair, turning to face her. “Put the fork down, Kate. You know it won’t hurt me—but if you attack my friends, I’ll make sure you don’t touch anyone ever again.”
She glared, then threw it straight at Sharp. He turned to the side, letting it smack right into him. It bounced off harmlessly, rolling away.
“Quite the demonstration,” Foster remarked, almost amused. “Not a terribly sharp one though, is she? If she wanted to make the case that you were impersonating her instead of the other way around, now would be the time…”
Kate turned away, settling down on the couch and pretending not even to look in their direction anymore.
Summer could’ve gone into everything she’d wanted to do, and she would if the gunpowder came up. But until then, she saw no reason to press the subject. There were more important things right now.
“The act of traveling to the other side is what changed me,” she explained. “There was no disease. No cancer, no discomfort. Other than… well, it made me female. I don’t know why.”
Barton nearly choked for a moment, as he tried to turn a laugh into a cough. From the sound of it, he ended up nearly swallowing a lung in the process. “I mean… I didn’t look, but I’m going to trust you on that, given the circumstances. You don’t know of any disease humans might be vulnerable to? Any… sickness you might be carrying, perhaps without even suffering symptoms?”
Sharp Edge answered before she could. “We’re all entirely healthy. We’ve been traveling entirely in isolation for over a month now, with no other contact with other creatures until today. My apprentice and I are healthy, and Summer seems to be as well.”
The woman lifted something onto the table, sliding it into the compartment between them. It was a white plastic box, covered with medical symbols.
“Last thing on the agenda for today, if you don’t mind, are some tests. We’d like to verify that no one is going to get space-AIDS.”
She shut the central compartment, sliding the little seal into place. Summer reached for the mechanism on their side, having to fiddle with it with her claws for a moment before she could finally put the right amount of pressure to get the knob to spin correctly.
“None of us are doctors,” Summer said. “I don’t know how to do a test. But do you think… could you find separate quarters for her?” She glanced over at where Kate lay. “She tried to kill us twice since we got here. Maybe put her… away from anything sharp?”
Barton nodded. “Already working on it. We’ll send someone to get her once the second trailer is prepped.”
“Just send me back,” Kate moaned. “I don’t want to be here, you don’t want me here… switch the portal on and throw me through. I’ll be out of your hair after that.”
Summer raised a wing, blocking her from the window. “She has people with explosives on the other side. If you send her back, she’ll be able to destroy the thing that makes the portal work on that side. You’ll never get through again.”
“Bitch,” Kate hissed. “You had no right to be there. Equestria would be better off if you drowned.”
She didn’t rise to it, not with Barton and Foster still watching. If Kate was going to keep acting like this, it would probably be better for them. You’ve spent so long on top you don’t know how to act when you’re not in control. Just keep making yourself look like an idiot, please. We’ve almost got this back on track.
Summer pulled the box through the opening, then clicked the latches on either corner and flipped it open. The inside held various swabs and vials, along with a few kits she’d seen before, but never used. For taking blood.
“I’ll coach you through the process,” Foster said, taking Barton’s place directly in front of the glass. He rose and backed away, muttering into his radio. But there was no way to hear him, not when he spoke so quietly. “Oh, you’ve got talons. That’s good, this would be a lot harder for the, uh… horses? Is that what you’re called?”
“Ponies,” Sharp corrected, without anger. “We call ourselves ponies. I’m an earth pony, and Emerald is a pegasus. There are other tribes as well, but not with us.”
“Right.” Foster took the tablet, flipping through it. “Well, I hope you’ll cooperate with us. These samples will allow us to make sure that contact between humans and… ponies… won’t make either of us sick. If this works out, then we should be able to meet more properly.
“Clearly some things are alike, since you’re breathing our air just fine. There’s a wide variety of foods in there—if you get hungry, I suggest eating only a few bites, then waiting at least an hour to see if you start feeling sick. It won’t be fool-proof, but… it should stop you from dying of a fatal allergic reaction.”
Summer lifted a vial from inside the kit, turning it around in a claw so she could see the barcode. “You’d be amazed at how alike our worlds are. I don’t think our food will get us sick. They even have lots of the same plants and animals. Just… bigger. Smaller?”
She turned back, looking up at Foster. “I thought I’d be coming back as myself. But if there’s one warning you need to put in your notes, it’s that traveling back doesn’t reverse it. This transformation seems to be… permanent.”
Foster shrugged. “Understanding how all that works is for people with four or five degrees. But if you’ll follow my instructions, I’ll walk you through how to get those samples…”
It took well over an hour, and hardly an enjoyable use of her time to boot. Foster wanted more than just a few swirls of DNA from her cheeks. She wanted blood, feathers, fur, and more. Summer had never drawn blood before, let alone located the veins on unknown anatomy with fur in the way that needed to be cleared.
Even worse, Sharp had to concentrate to even let the needles through. If he grew too tense, then his magic would stop the needle like trying to puncture a brick.
But even if he didn’t fully understand what they were doing, he was more than willing to cooperate. “It’s all in the name of diplomacy,” he said. And, “It’s just as important we learn humans won’t make ponies sick. If we can visit without danger, that’s something the princess should know.”
Summer had her doubts about whether the US military would share any of what they learned. Maybe she was just a conspiracy theorist, but she couldn’t help but imagine this secret military organization erasing all record of this communication and dumping them into a woodchipper to preserve the status quo.
Finally they were done, and a group of armed soldiers returned to collect the box, along with Kate.
“This isn’t finished,” she called, as they walked her towards the door. “I’m going to get back to Equestria. I’m going to protect that world no matter what it takes.”
Summer watched her go, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders as the door slammed shut behind her again. It might be practically a prison cell—but at least they weren’t trapped with a murderer anymore.
“Thank you for your cooperation,” Barton said. “I’m not sure if this will be the last time we talk. Someone with more authority is already flying this way, she should be here by the time we get the results of those tests. In the meantime, there’s a phone right there. If you need anything, please use it and someone will try and help. But we are thousands of miles from civilization, so the help we can offer is limited.”
“One thing,” Summer said, raising a wing. He seemed to get the message, because he didn’t have a chance to get up. “I’d like to see my family. Can you call them? You should have my contact information on file.”
Barton winced. “Right now, everything that happens at this observatory is top secret. Until someone with more titles changes that, I can’t help you there.”
“Could you at least… get me something to write with? I’d like to write them a letter. If something happens, you could at least deliver it for me.”
“Paper should be in there already,” he said. “Delivery… well, just write it first. Talk to the Secretary of State when she gets here.” They left.
Summer slumped forward, resting her head on the table and breathing heavily. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since she’d woken, but she felt so utterly drained… How many times had her life been threatened?
“We did it,” Sharp said, resting a hoof on her shoulder. “I can’t say our arrival on your world went quite the way I imagined, but… we did it.”
“Yeah.” She nodded weakly, rising to her hooves. “We should probably explain all that to Emerald. You’ve got a remarkably well-behaved apprentice to put up with it. Not being able to understand most of that…”
“More than that.” Sharp reached down, nudging the necklace with a hoof. “She’s the reason we were able to discover the strange new properties of this artifact. Without her, we might be struggling to communicate with your, uh… modest vocabulary of Ponish.”
She glared at him, then remembered just where they were standing. These quarters probably had a dozen cameras pointed at them. But it was also stocked with food by humans. She practically galloped over to the kitchen, opening the cupboards with reckless abandon until she found what she was looking for.
Microwavable popcorn, butter flavor and all. Summer squealed with delight, yanking the microwave open and turning it on. Her claws left scratches on the plastic, but she didn’t care.
Sharp followed her over, staring openly at her. “What manner of strange machine is that?”
Summer settled onto her haunches, closing her eyes and letting the familiar hum of a microwave soothe away her aches. They’d cut the rest of their bonds when taking samples, but her wings still ached from being bound so tightly. She twitched and shook them every few moments, but the soreness was still there.
“Like an… oven. A very fast oven that makes food that doesn’t taste as good.” She looked back at Emerald, waving her over. “Come over, you, uh… try this.”
Emerald muttered something, glancing periodically back at the dark section on the other side of the glass. But it was too quiet for Summer’s doubtful grasp of Ponish.
A few seconds later and it started popping. Emerald’s wings flared and she backed slowly away again, but Sharp was less afraid.
“Popcorn?” He raised an eyebrow. “After everything we’ve done today, and you’re making… popcorn. With a magic box.”
“It’s not magic, it just uses radiation to superheat the water dissolved in the… okay, sure. Magic.” She leaned against him, not caring how many cameras were watching. She had to feel something familiar. She wasn’t strong enough to keep doing this on her own. “It’s the best snack in the world. The best stuff comes dipped in chocolate or caramel, but I haven’t had any in months, so I’ll take what I can get.”
Sharp lowered his voice, whispering into her ear. “What do you think of Barton and Foster? I admit I expected a friendlier reception.”
She looked back, keeping her voice down. Smart of him to realize there might be people listening. She wasn’t sure it would help, but… “I think they really are afraid we’re going to make humans sick. Hopefully the tests all prove that isn’t anything to worry about. Barton said… the Secretary of State was coming. She’s… one of the most important people in the American government.”
“American,” he repeated. But just as the necklace had given her perfect pronunciation and understanding of Ponish, the reverse seemed true for him. “I don’t think you spoke about them much.”
“They’re… the richest country in our world. This observatory is in their territory. Those soldiers bossing us around are theirs. If they’re really sending someone important… at least it means they’re taking us seriously!”
The microwave dinged loudly, making Emerald jump right up into the air. She hovered for a second, before landing ungracefully. “Is that safe?”
“Yes,” Summer said. “Can’t you smell it? It’s delicious.”
She yanked it open, then tore the paper bag open at the top. Her claws gave her one advantage: they were tougher than skin, and not as bothered by the heat. She gave the bag a good shake, then reached in and took a handful.
Even if it felt bigger in her mouth, the taste was the same. Average as popcorn went, but thanks to all these months without, it might as well be gourmet. “Behold the wonders of technology,” she said, offering the open bag to her companions. “Instant popcorn.”
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The
ponificationhypogriffication in complete. Theo sees humans as "others".9999304
How someone like Kate, who began in Equestria as an empty handed immigrant and ended as CEO of her own, sucessfull company can lose her screws so easily? She should be a master in adaptation and holding herself together.
I forgot about the fake warnings Kate sent through. At least the government took some precautions instead of cutting off contact. Still it really feels like they anticipated this. What do they know?
Well, it looks like it's almost time for Theo to present that diplomatic package from Seaquestria (if it's somewhere in the teleported rubble).
I'm certain it'll also be inspected with intense scrutiny. They're just as secretive as the US government and with how things turned up on that island fortress, a little extra caution wouldn't be unwarranted just in case.
I like we're things seem to be going.
Aaaand waiting on the humanside cultists.
9999318
She is still herself though, just female and a hippogryph.
The popcorn bit was cute. I like stories that are serious, but aren't all doom and gloom all the time.
Also, what does Kate look like? My mind fills in the blanks with Silverstream.
9999304
Crazy bird actually believes it too. What foolishness!
9999585
Well. I mean, perhaps it's both. In a really twisted way she's actually pushing ponies past the industrial age where most pollution and environmental harm comes from and into the silicone age where we started to actually care about the world. Granted, ponies and such would have less pollution with magic use for machines and probably spells made specifically to remove pollution, as otherwise Manehatten would be horrible for them, but she's still removing the danger of it appearing at all. Stopping humans from taking advantage I can see as well. Hell, if the Middle East didn't have oil America would've left them bickering over who gets more sand. An entire world of resources, almost completely untapped? There are DEFINITELY people in every government that would jump at the chance. If killing a few removed the threat of them losing their entire world it does seem quite logical. Though, all that depends on the global population never learning about the races there and not caring at all about ruining an entire planet for profit, and no matter how horrible and self serving our race is we're really weak towards fluffy things so it's safe to say Kate is a little more than biased on the subject. That and the portal can only be opened from their side as it requires spellwork, and they have rulers and most likely warmages that can fire laser beams that gouge through mountains and forests like a baseball bat through hot butter. Most likely outcome is befriend them so THEY don't invade US, or trying their best to do the same as Kate and destroy the gateway. Our best weapons and transports are a bit hard to use when the size and body shape of a lynx, and our armor would have to be held infront of us like shields instead of worn, let alone the difficulty of wearing a gasmask designed for a flat face when you have a beak.
10000277
Thats not entirely accurate, the experiment being done Earth side is what opened the portal. Otherwise there would have been someone waiting on the other side.
Honestly, I'd be more worried about the Cosmic Chickenpox.
The wonders of technology indeed.
MICROWAVES DO NOT COOK WITH RADIATION! (Facehoof)
10007178
They cook with microwaves, which is a form of light. Other forms of light are X-Rays, Gamma Rays, Radio Waves, Ultraviolet, Infrared, and visible.
All of which are forms of radiation.
Forks can be dangerous, they should be careful about that.
It's nice that they've established so quickly that the person telling tales about mysterious diseases is also the one who lies constantly.
Oh that's a good point, at the very least they've fairly thoroughly tested whether there were any human to hippogriff to pony transmissible diseases and nothing has surfaced yet. Though I suppose to be fair they haven't tested every common transmission vector yet.
Particularly with the example of both Theo and Kate who got up to vastly different activities on the other side. It's probably not the necklace's influence, for example.
It feels like a good sign that the military is passing this up to State this quickly.
It could have been much worse. This has honestly been a pretty great first contact situation so far.
10008037
It's good that Kate went pretty much socially-impaired and somewhat delusional from her position as a corporate ceo.
And besides, the photos Summer and Emerald took would be more than enough to disprove Kate's testimonies
9999348
I think that box is still on their airship.
Beholds.