We Get Diplomatic Immunity, Right?

by Pascoite

Chapter 1: Sunday

Author's Note:

I'll reveal my bingo card at the end of the final chapter.

Princess Celestia slammed her gavel down and glared over the judicial bench at Berry Punch. “You are hereby stripped of your ambassador title, and you will submit your entire stock of… merchandise for disposal by… well, whatever means I see fit.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “I have no idea how we will do so without polluting the area, but we will find a way. It’s bad enough the police spilled it everywhere.”

Why Celestia needed to make a spectacle of this, Berry couldn’t discern. Berry wasn’t even on a witness stand, behind a defense table, in a courtroom. No, in Celestia’s study. Celestia had a judicial bench in her study.

“Just look at her!” Celestia thundered, jabbing the gavel toward the room’s only other occupant, Pinkie Pie. For her part, Pinkie stood there vibrating into a blur, her eyes staring in opposite directions. “She’s been like this for two days solid! We had to bring her in here on a cart!”

Berry could do little more than examine the mortar in the gaps of the stone floor. “There wasn’t a law…” she mumbled. And immediately regretted it, even before looking up.

“I, my little pony, have the privilege of determining the law,” Celestia retorted. And she cut back in upon seeing Berry’s mouth open halfway. “I also have the privilege of determining what ponies should have known better than to do, even in the absence of violating a specific law.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” The floor once again became her gaze’s only friend. At this point, best not to argue.

A click of horseshoe on stone made Berry jump. “I will, however, forego a prison sentence, taking that into account. The matter of a fine… I’ll have to think about that.”

Berry Punch’s knees almost buckled. She’d expected much worse. What with the prior… defendants, for lack of a better word, emerging one by one from this room in chains while Berry waited her turn in the hall, she’d had quite the sensation of being squished beneath the weight of Canterlot Mountain.

“Yes, Your Highness.” With any luck, the princess didn’t have any idea how much money Berry had socked away from this venture. What was officially in the bank, yeah, but not the… other accounts.

“Community service, of course.”

“Yes, Your Highness.” She chaperoned enough of Berry Pinch’s school field trips already and helped out with litter pick-up in the park. Not too much of an imposition.

The princess’s shadow loomed a bit closer. “Rest assured, the authorities will be inspecting any further beverages you produce, in case you decide to try recreating that vile concoction.”

A reasonable precaution. Berry had no plans to, in any case. “Yes, Your Highness.”

“And should I see evidence of unusual hyperactive behavior in your vicinity, well… let’s just say that I am aware your young sister lives with you. I would hate to see her endangered in any way.” Even closer the shadow crept, and Berry could practically feel that billowing mane brush the tips of her ears. “And so would you.”

Berry gulped. Threats aside, no, she’d never do anything to put Pinchy at risk. “No, Your Highness, not my sister. I couldn’t.”

Finally, the shadow drew back. “Good.”

Berry let out a quiet breath. At least things would go back to normal. Mostly. But to think on all that had happened in just the past week. Why, even yesterday…

Comments

[Jade Dawn]

When Tia is in this kind of mood, you know you've done something wrong.