Chapter 5
Crystal was very good at conducting sound, apparently.
The grand table could’ve easily seated fifteen persons along each side, but it currently only accommodated six in total: Princess Cadance and Shining Armour sat together at the head of the table, whilst Twilight and Tempest sat by the long edge to their right and Prince Thorax and Pharynx sat on the left.
No servants occupied the royal tea room, though Tempest was certain that they were ready and waiting beyond the service door for the princess’ call. No guards, either.
In spite of that, it felt very much like a battlefield. All the lines were drawn, and the ground troops were simply waiting for the horn to sound.
Things had started off cordially enough with exchanged greetings, followed by the same tense silence interspersed with the gentle tinkling of cutlery on plates, muffled chewing and the occasional slurping of crystal berry juice.
It reminded her of that one time she and the Storm King had been invited to dine with Duke Gale Song and his generals on neutral ground, in the ruins of his nephew’s summer palace atop a hill whilst both of their armies were poised to clash in the fields below.
At least this one is marginally less likely to end with an all-out brawl and a cataclysmic, castle-shattering spell.
Twilight poked at her food and chewed nervously, like a cornered rat waiting for the slightest excuse to drop its morsel and dash for the nearest hole. Unsurprising, considering that she’d left more than fifty students outside to explore the Crystal Empire with the rest of the teachers whilst she played guest to Princess Cadance’s insistent hospitality.
Her simple school trip to the Empire’s historical attractions had turned into brunch with royalty when a contingent of crystal guards had intercepted them on their way to the library from the train station. Despite Twilight’s protests, the captain had made it quite clear that Princess Cadance was ecstatic about the opportunity to meet her, especially considering the fact that Prince Thorax and Pharynx just happened to also be in attendance. Twilight couldn’t even use the excuse of needing to watch over her students, as the extra guards had already been ordered to serve as guides for the students and teachers.
Tempest hoped that the young captain hadn’t seen her rolling her eyes. It didn’t take an oracle to see through the ruse.
A giggle brought Tempest back into the present.
Prince Thorax kept fidgeting and bouncing in his seat whilst he ate, and he had a grin plastered to his muzzle as he intermittently gave Pharynx meaningful glances and nudges, like an excited foal badgering its parent to reveal the present they’d stowed away somewhere.
Pharynx silently picked at his food, but she could tell from his twitching wings that he very much would’ve preferred to be hitting something. Whenever their eyes briefly met, it was only to exchange a little warmth and anticipation for the time they could spend together, after they’d dealt with the present impasse.
Shining Armour ate with the untroubled obliviousness of a colt reading his favourite book. He didn’t actually have one that she could see, though she wouldn’t put it past a sibling of Twilight to have devised some means of discreetly entertaining himself whilst staying well out of affairs he didn’t want to stick his hoof in.
Princess Cadance, on the other hoof, maintained a thoroughly pleasant smile whilst she ate. No charm, no cunning – just basic courtesy. Had it not been for Pharynx’s tactical glances every now and then, Tempest probably would’ve mistaken Cadance’s demeanour for that of a young mother simply delighted to have all her loved ones enjoying brunch with her.
Tempest’s years of experience with the Storm King told her otherwise. She could tell when the boss had set the table just to wait and see if anyone was going to announce the news that he already knew of. The only difference was that Princess Cadance probably wasn’t going to bring out the executioner’s sword if they didn’t say what she wanted to hear in time.
Probably.
Ten minutes into the meal and nothing had changed, so Tempest decided to open with the first volley.
She met Twilight’s hesitant gaze, then cleared her throat and said, “Pharynx and I are engaged.”
Silence hung on her words.
Then, Cadance beamed and clapped her hooves together. “Oh, that’s wonderful news!”
“Yes!” cried Thorax as he leaned out of his chair and reached over to hug Pharynx from the side. “My brother’s finally going to mate with his special somepony! We’re all so proud of him!”
“He’s been like this. All. Grubbing. Week…” Pharynx droned whilst doing his best impression of a statue in Thorax’s embrace.
“Hey, congrats to both of you!” Shining Armour grinned and winked at Pharynx. “You guys have any idea when and where the wedding’s gonna be?”
“Ooh, you know, this sounds like the perfect opportunity for a celebration with three kingdoms in attendance.”
And there it is… thought Tempest.
Cadance’s smile widened as she levitated a notebook with heart stickers plastered all over the cover and leafed through its pages. “There’s never been anything like it before, so it’s definitely something that deserves thorough planning, no expenses spared! I’ve got an army of specialists if you need help getting everything in order, and I believe that even the Crystal Heart could be a part of the blessing, depending on your chosen venue and the number of crystal ponies in attendance. Ooh, we could even—”
“Yeah, about that…” Tempest maintained an impassive expression as she set down her cutlery with decisive clinks and took a sip of juice. “We’re keeping it a small, private affair. No ceremony, no pomp. Hard pass on the Crystal Heart’s involvement, too.”
“But wha—are you sure about that?” Cadance blinked a couple of times, and then chuckled as if a foal had told her that they didn’t want any ice cream. “I mean, you only get married once, and Equestria has never had such a unique and prestigious couple before!”
“Can’t justify the expenses,” Tempest said flatly. “We’re soldiers, not royalty.”
Thorax glanced at Pharynx. “Well, actually—oof!”
Pharynx wiped a little grin off his muzzle as he withdrew his elbow from Thorax’s ribs, then turned to Cadance and said, “Sorry, Your Highness, but it’s not your wedding. Hooves off.”
Tempest frowned and sucked in a breath through her nostrils. He might’ve played hardball a little too early—the apologetic glance he threw her way confirmed it.
Then again, maybe hardball was only fair. Cadance had started it, after all.
Cutlery clattered on the table as Twilight and Thorax dropped their forks. Thorax’s jaw hung loose, and Twilight had scrunched her muzzle as if she’d bitten into something incredibly sour. Shining Armour’s cheeks bulged with the half-chewed remains of his previous mouthful whilst his eyes flicked from one guest to another.
“I’m sensing a little… animosity right now, for lack of a better word,” said Cadance as she slowly set down her utensils and dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Have I upset either of you in some way?”
“Not particularly, no,” said Tempest. “But several… indiscretions have recently come to light.”
Cadance blinked. “Pardon? What are you talking about?”
“You can drop the act, Princess,” Pharynx growled. “We know about the little ‘situations’ you arrange near our dating spots just to give us ponies to save or fight. The first two or three were cute, but it’s getting annoying at this point.”
“I see. So you figured those out. They weren’t that disappointing, were they?” She flipped through her notebook and clicked her tongue. “I mean, my agents tell me that both of you thoroughly enjoyed every street fight you got involved in, even that one with the impromptu rescue operation when things got a little out of hoof with the… combustible apples.”
Pharynx snorted. “Just because we enjoyed them doesn’t mean we want you to keep doing them. We’re not your pawns.”
Cadance winced. “Pawns? That’s such a demeaning term. I think—”
“Pawns, minions or whatever you want to call us—potayto, potahto.” Pharynx waved a hoof dismissively. “Point is that we’re not yours to manipulate. I mean, I thought you would’ve taken the hint after we sent the last team back to you in pods.”
“Oh. So that was meant to be a warning. Silly me.” Cadance chuckled and scribbled something into her notebook. “Corporal Sheep Herd said that it was the best nap he’d ever had, so I decided to play Discord’s advocate and take it as an unusual form of thanks. I suppose I must’ve convinced myself that you were both playing along.”
Tempest rolled her eyes. “This goes further back than that. You’re meddling in the private affairs of two high-ranking officials of allied sovereign nations, the first of which involved baiting them into a verbal sparring match that escalated into an all-out brawl—”
Cadance smirked. “Worked like a charm.”
“—which, in addition to personal injury and damages to Royal Property, also ran the risk of disrupting the tenuous alliance between said nations,” Tempest finished with a frown.
She then glanced at Twilight and added, “I’m also under the impression that you coerced Twilight into keeping quiet about your involvement.”
“Eh-heh… she figured that out on her own.” Twilight shrank into her seat when Cadance’s gaze fell upon her, ears flat as she hugged herself with her wings and grinned nervously. Then, she turned to Tempest with a sigh and continued more solemnly, “We’ve been over this. I take responsibility for not telling you sooner.”
“Well, I’ve got the opposite problem,” Pharynx growled. “Somepony is responsible for feeding my brother all kinds of ideas about what males are supposed to do when courting female ponies. Seriously, what is with you mammals and spraying plant and animal extracts all over yourselves? They only interfere with your natural pheromones, and don’t even get me started on the lameness that is poetry.”
“Hey, poetry is very romantic. It’s like a painting you can hear—with words!” Thorax protested, waving his hooves emphatically.
Pharynx snorted.
Shining Armour’s mouth twitched with a suppressed smile.
Meanwhile, Princess Cadance simply looked at them and pouted, ears drooping. “Well, that’s awfully direct. You could’ve at least let me have a little fun while it lasts. The drama was getting good, like a soap opera.”
“We already have. We’re past the point of needing your help, so back off.” Tempest shook her head and chuckled. “Besides, I get the impression that playing coy will only encourage you to step up your game.”
Pharynx, apparently sensing her desire to ease the tension, grinned wolfishly. “If drama is what you want, we could go to war, you know.”
Thorax made a choking noise and opened his mouth to protest, but Cadance forestalled his words with a wave of her hoof. She peered at Pharynx, then at Tempest, apparently weighing her options, before she finally leaned against the backrest of her chair and shook her head.
“No.”
Twilight tilted her head. “No?”
“No.” A devious smile grew on Cadance’s muzzle as she regarded Tempest and Pharynx with steely eyes. “For one, neither of you are petty enough to start a real war over this. And if you were going to pretend to start one just to drive me up the wall, you would’ve done it already instead of threatening to do so. Bit of a wasted opportunity for a prank, if you ask me, but I’ll take it as a testament to your discipline, and your loyalty to your princess and brother.”
“What are you doing?” Twilight hissed to Cadance.
“Negotiating, Twily.” Cadance’s smile didn’t waver. “So, let’s suppose I don’t want to stop playing matchmaker, and I am still very much invested in the thought of making the most out of your wedding… What are you going to do about it? I am the Alicorn of Love, after all.”
Tempest blinked.
Pharynx and Thorax stared.
Twilight winced.
And Shining Armour smiled whilst he discreetly helped himself to more cake.
Eventually, Pharynx shook his head as if to clear it and squinted at Cadance. “Negotiating? But we’re not the leaders of our natio—unless you mean us, as a couple? What do you even want from us that you don’t already have? Our first brood?”
Twilight raised a hoof. “Uh, that would be illega—”
Princess Cadance quickly waved her to silence and refocused on Pharynx, though her smile did falter for a brief moment before she hummed and rubbed her chin with a hoof. “I’m a little concerned by how quickly you escalated to an offer like that, but I can roll with it. It would be nice for Flurry Heart to have a friend to grow up with. If we could arrange for regular playdates with my daughter, that would be absolutely wonderful!”
Tempest didn’t quite know whether to leap over the table and kick Pharynx in the head for offering Cadance the ‘service’ of their hypothetical child, or whether to be impressed by his craftiness in making an offer that the princess might never be able to collect on, considering that they didn’t even know if they could have offspri—
No, focus.
They had more pressing matters to contend with.
“Fine. We can do playdates, if things get that far. It’s harmless enough.” Frowning, Tempest leaned back in her chair and allowed her breath to ease out through her nostrils. She then shook her head and continued, “Look, I’m sorry that we got pushy about keeping you out of our affairs, but this is getting out of hoof.”
Cadance narrowed her eyes and continued rubbing her chin like a griffon fence contemplating just how much she could gouge them for the goods on offer. Meanwhile, Twilight and Thorax kept glancing at each other, as if wondering if the other was going to step in and steer the conversation back onto sanity’s tracks.
Eventually, Cadance glanced at Shining Armour, who suddenly sported a massive grin as he clapped his hooves together and said, “Told you you’d do great, didn’t I? That was perfect, Honey.”
Cadance burst into a fit of giggles, and all the tension in the air vanished like a cloud busted by a griffon or pegasus. She ignored the rest of them staring at her like idiots until her mirth subsided with a final snort.
“Does she have a disease?” Pharynx asked Shining Armour.
Shining Armour snorted. “Nah. She was just pulling your tail.”
“Generally a bad idea,” Pharynx deadpanned. “It puts you in bucking range.”
“Oh, Pharynx. I was just teasing,” said Cadance as she wiped her eyes. “Sorry, Tempest—both of you. Of course I will let you plan your own wedding the way you want it. No strings attached. All you had to do was ask.”
Tempest tilted her head. “Wait, you mean we could’ve just asked you the whole time and avoided all this… posturing?”
Cadance nodded gravely, though her gentle smile remained. “You demanded it of me as a foreign official, as opposed to asking as family or a friend. That hurt a little. Besides, I don’t like being told what to do, no more than you do. Force of habit, I suppose. Comes with being a new ruler who’s had to fend off packs of nobles who think she can be bullied into doing what they want.”
Pharynx blinked. “Mother must’ve rubbed off on you.”
“Being buried in a cave will do that to a pony,” Cadance growled. Then, her frown softened. “Anyway, I saw it as an opportunity to practice one aspect of my statecraft. Sorry that you had to be on the receiving end.
“And, to be fair, I did start this whole thing by going behind your backs, so… my apologies for that as well. I sometimes get so caught up my, ah… matchmaking plans that I forget to let love blossom on its own. I will not meddle from now on.”
“So… that was all a trick?” Pharynx’s eyes widened. “I thought I tasted something funny here and there, but I wasn’t sure until you started laughing.”
“Yeah, it was a little confusing,” Thorax chimed in.
“Princess Luna has been training us to guard our thoughts and control our emotions.” Shining Armour chuckled and leaned over to give Cadance a peck on the cheek. “Considering our recent history, it’s a security gap that we needed to plug up quickly – and it seems to be paying off quite nicely, wouldn’t you say?”
“Sounds like something friends shouldn’t be doing to one another,” Twilight murmured.
“Twily, you know that—”
“Yes, yes, Shiny. As leaders, our minds shouldn’t be open books. Not all secrets are ours to give away.” Twilight massaged her temples and groaned. “Sometimes I wish things could be simple like they used to.”
“Well, they still can be in some ways.” Cadance glanced at the window, where the rooftops of the tallest houses in the city were just barely visible. “Fancy a sleepover in the palace, for old time’s sake?”
“Thanks, but I have to be with my students.”
“Oh, it’s not as if the palace is short on space. Bring them along!”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “All—all of the students? Here?”
“Why not? My treat.” Cadance waved a hoof to forestall another protest, then turned to Tempest and dipped her head slightly. “And as for the engaged couple… I’ve already taken the liberty to arrange for a nice guest room to be made available to both of you. Servants on call both day and night, plus free access to the royal bathhouse and spa. No obligations, of course, but I hope that you’d consider taking the opportunity to enjoy yourselves this once. It’s the least I can do to make up for my mischief.”
“I don’t—” Tempest began, pausing as she glanced at Twilight’s dawning smile and Pharynx’s almost imperceptible shrug before she looked back at Cadance and sighed. “Well, if Princess Twilight accepts, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try out one of your fancy rooms.”
“Any chance we could show the students around the catacombs and the royal archives?” Twilight grinned sheepishly. “They weren’t in the original itinerary, but if we’re going to be staying in the palace itself…”
“Of course, Twily.”
“Yes!” cried Twilight as she conjured a notebook and crossed off an item on her checklist. “I’ll inform the teachers of the change in plans.”
“It’s settled, then!” Cadance clapped her hooves and chuckled. “Oh, don’t look so resigned, Tempest. Only you can make a little pampering sound like a laborious assignment. Shining, do you think you’d be able to show them around?”
Shining Armour gulped down some juice and shook his head. “Sorry, Dear. I’ve got a full day inspecting the troops and the new equipment.”
“Darn. And I can’t put off the audience with the Merchant Guild. I suppose we could just—”
“It’s all right, Cadance,” Twilight said with a smile. “We’ll find time to meet up again once we’re done with our duties. You can show us around by then. I’m sure the students will appreciate their unexpected and distinguished tour guide!”
“It’s a date!” Cadance giggled and levitated a plate of sparkling pastries over to them. “Come on. You have to try one of these. Sugar Crust used to make these for the Royal Family, right up until King Sombra took over. It’s not often you get to taste a piece of history!”
From then on, brunch proceeded with a significantly lighter atmosphere. Cadance, Shining Armour, Twilight and Thorax exchanged news about their respective duties and goings-on in their states, whilst Pharynx and Tempest settled for the temporary reprieve from any talk of their wedding.
Eventually, the great crystal clock in the room chimed noon, drawing their collective attention to duties left unattended.
Tempest remained seated whilst the others got up from the table, watching as Princess Cadance gazed wistfully at the heart-stickered notebook sitting on her folded napkin. She could feel her ears drooping as she pondered on the repercussions of having refused the Princess of Love’s offer to be her wedding planner.
Granted, it was less of an offer and more of an imposition, but would there be any political blowback for Twilight if word got out that her personal guard had refused such an offer from an esteemed ally, friend and sister-in-law?
She could already imagine the headlines in the grubby newspapers: Tempest Shadow Snubs Princess Cadance’s Offer to be Wedding Planner! Evidence of Underlying Resentment? Princess Twilight Heartbroken by Failed Friendship Lessons!
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to show a little grace…
However, before she could say anything, Cadance flicked her gaze upwards and met Tempest’s eyes. She then looked at her notebook again and tucked it away with a rueful smile. “Oh, don’t worry about me. There’ll be other weddings for me to try out some new ideas—speaking of which, I suppose you already had someone else in mind to be your organiser?”
“Umm, now that you’ve mentioned it, not really.”
Cadance tilted her head. “Why not?”
“It’s not exactly my field of expertise, but I figured we’ll get round to it when we need to. We’ve got till the end of the season before the wedding’s due.”
“Ooh…” Cadance winced a little and pursed her lips. “That may not be the most advisable thing to do. Spring’s a busy season, so you’d better find someone quick, if they aren’t already fully booked for the next few months. Otherwise, Twilight’s probably going to step in and make suggestions, and she tends to pick her friends.”
Tempest raised an eyebrow. “And what’s wrong with tha—”
Her words caught in her throat when the realisation dawned upon her: if she didn’t pick someone, Twilight might simply default to Pinkie Pie, and Tempest had a sinking feeling in her gut that she would prefer anyone over Pinkie Pie as her wedding planner. Princess Cadance’s sympathy might at least render her somewhat pliable if they disagreed on anything, but she entertained absolutely no illusions about having any control over Ponyville’s resident sugar addict.
The mare had a point. An awfully convenient one, too.
Had she been holding that in reserve the whole time, or had circumstances simply drawn it out of her arsenal?
She looked into her eyes, searching for some spark of mischief or cunning, but it was hard to find fault with Princess Cadance’s wide eyes and the concerned crease on her brow. She was the very model of a mare earnestly giving friendly advice, which rang all kinds of alarm bells in Tempest’s head when combined with the fact that it suddenly made her proposition a whole lot harder to turn down. No leader was that altruistic when giving advice, except maybe Twilight.
Regardless of her original intentions, the trap had been laid and sprung. Tempest allowed her ears to droop just a tiny bit, and the corners of Cadance’s mouth twitched upward in response.
Oh, well played, you clever bi—
“What’re you two talking about?” Pharynx butted in.
Tempest cleared her throat. “Your Highness, you can be our wedding planner.”
Cadance’s ears immediately perked up. “Oh, that’s great!”
“But we’re serious about keeping it modest.”
“I understand.” Cadance nodded and quickly began scribbling into her notebook. “One totally modest wedding for our military commanders, coming right up!”
Pharynx frowned at her. “Wait, what? Are you saying we’ve changed our minds on the no-princess-planner thing?”
“Uh huh.” Tempest gave him a sidelong glance and deadpanned, “I just realised that it’ll most likely be a toss-up between her and the other pink one.”
Pharynx’s frown deepened for a couple of seconds, before his eye ridges shot back up, followed by a shudder that visibly traversed the full length of his spine.
“Unless, maybe you know someone in the hive who can get the job done?” Tempest asked.
“That’s an even worse idea,” Pharynx grumbled. “Fine. Between you and my grubbing siblings, I’d go with the Princess of Food.”
Cadance smirked and rubbed her hooves together. “Excellent. You won’t regret this!”
“We’ll be in touch to discuss the details.” Tempest hoped Cadance couldn’t see through the stiff smile on her muzzle.
Still, she did feel a certain amount of respect welling up in her chest. Cadance could teach Twilight a thing or two about outmanoeuvring her foes or allies in diplomacy.
Brunch was settled, and after Princess Twilight had done her customary nuzzling with her brother and sister-in-law, they were on their way back to rendezvous with the others in the town hall. Tempest and Pharynx trotted side by side in Twilight’s wake, half-listening to her excited mumbling as she attempted to cram the additional venues into the school trip’s already-crowded itinerary. And she didn’t need trained ears to hear Thorax trailing after them like an excited puppy, apparently torn between keeping a respectful distance and showering Pharynx with all his pride and joy.
Pharynx walked at a steady pace, scowling as he pointedly ignored his brother.
Once they’d gotten out of earshot of the guards and servants, he muttered, “Well, that was a little… humiliating.”
Tempest huffed through her nostrils. “She’s got more spine than I’ve given her credit for. In hindsight, it should’ve been obvious, considering that she was the first to take action when I crashed the party at Canterlot.”
“Good for her. What I wouldn’t give to have a few more bugs be like her under my command…”
“Same here” she murmured.
When they exited the door leading down to the courtyard, she paused at the bottom of the steps and nuzzled Pharynx. “I’ll see you once the kids are on curfew. Your room?”
“Our room.” He grinned and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and his right eye twitched just a tiny bit when Thorax audibly squeaked in glee behind them. “See you later, my queen.”
A dull thump dragged Tempest up from the depths of slumber.
Her eyes roved in the darkness to get her bearings.
The bed felt too soft to be hers, and the walls had a faint, bluish glow coming deep from its crystalline structure that did not match the purplish one in Twilight’s palace. The narrow sliver of light underneath the door also came from a different direction than she was accustomed to.
Her heart fluttered in her chest when she felt a weight on her midriff and something warm pressing into her back, but the apprehension quickly faded away when she remembered crawling into bed with Pharynx after a long day of chaperoning students around the Crystal Empire from one tourist attraction to another. Her memory of dinner with the students and school staff was hazy, overshadowed by the hours she’d spent with Pharynx wandering in the palace gardens until even the crickets had ceased chirping.
Cadance hadn’t been kidding about the bed.
Tempest had sunk quite deeply into the mattress, and all of the weariness from the day’s activities had melted away in the warm, silky-soft sheets. Spooning with Pharynx – who’d transformed into an extra-fluffy thestral so that he could hug her with an extra pair of limbs – was the cherry on top.
They were going to disappoint Cadance by not using it for one very specific exercise, though.
Not the best time when they had duties the next morning. She didn’t want to embarrass Twilight – not when one of the students could probably taste any previous night’s activity on her…
Also, Pharynx had not been in the mood. Not with Thorax in the same building.
Changelings generally didn’t get weirded out by lovemaking or any talk thereof, but Thorax was something else entirely when it came to his brother’s affairs. Especially with how much he seemed to be into the idea of “breeding us or something,” as Pharynx had put it. The logistics of privacy was also a whole other kind of game when changelings can taste what each other is doing in their vicinity, and Thorax apparently had a larger than average detection radius.
Speaking of detection…
Tempest lay still and listened, trying to recall the disturbance which had woken her up.
Random fireworks? Someone bumping into furniture?
She tensed when a faint, distant scream echoed through the hallway outside.
Intruders?
Her ears perked up as she strained to listen, feeling Pharynx’s muzzle brush against the back of her neck. He stirred and shifted his fuzzy foreleg over her belly, gently nibbling her ear as he did so. His fangs pricked, but they still sent a tingling rush down her spine which she quickly stifled with a shake of her head.
Another dull thump reverberated through the crystalline structure of the palace, followed by a distinct yelp in the distance.
“Get up. Something’s wrong,” said Tempest as she wriggled out of his embrace. “We might be under attack.”
Pharynx growled and straightened up. His ash-grey coat and dark cyan mane looked matted and unruly from being squished in bed, and his purple, slit-pupiled eyes narrowed as the small spark on her horn stub lit up the room.
“Are you sure? I didn’t hear anything,” he said.
“No, but we’d better make sure. Come on.”
Tempest glanced at the clock as they padded over to the door, thankful for the thick carpet muffling their steps. Three in the morning. She hadn’t gone over their security protocols in detail, but if they were anything like Canterlot’s, it probably was a safe bet that they had snuck past the guards.
Then again, it could be a false alarm. The deserted corridors were silent as they sidled out of the guest room, dimly lit by elegant crystals ensconced on the walls. Rather chilly, too.
She turned to Pharynx and waited whilst he scanned their surroundings, swivelling his tufted ears to and fro as he did so. They twitched once, twice, and then Pharynx frowned as he turned to her and said, “I think I can hear someone moving around in the next wing.”
His tongue flicked out. “Too far to taste what they’re up to, though.”
Tempest followed his gaze and stepped towards the darkness. “Let’s find ou—”
She’d barely taken a step before another dull thump reached their ears, followed by the sound of something shattering in the distance. After sharing a quick glance, they bolted down the corridor, heading towards the adjacent wing which housed the staff and intermediary facilities for visitors and long term residents.
She almost expected a dozen guards to join them, but no one had any apparent interest in finding the source of the disturbance. It was just the two of them rushing through the empty hallways, with Pharynx’s shadowy figure flickering almost hypnotically as they alternated in and out of the shadows and beams of window starlight.
As they got closer to the intruders, Tempest heard someone trying and failing to keep their voice down to a hushed whisper, frantically hissing and chattering indistinct instructions, mostly along the lines of “No!” and “Stop!”.
Up ahead, Tempest spotted two crystal pony guards on either side of the grand arch marking the boundary between the guest wing and the staff wing, standing perfectly still with their spears held straight up.
The arch had no doors to block the sounds of the intruders, so she suspected that they might have been paralysed or incapacitated with magic. But that theory went out the window when their eyes widened at her rapid approach, frowning as one raised a foreleg to bar their way.
“Are you deaf?” she barked over his order to halt.
The stallion staggered as she barged past his outstretched foreleg and skidded a bit as she took a sharp turn to follow the sound of clattering of objects and distraught muttering.
“No, wait!” cried the other guard. “It’s not what you think—”
Yellow light shone from around the next corner, and just as Tempest took the turn, that light intensified into a humming, rapidly-approaching miniature sun that seared her eyes. Instincts developed over a long career of having magical and incendiary projectiles fired at her immediately took over; she dove to the floor and charged up her horn in anticipation of the coming fight.
Pharynx wasn’t quite as prepared.
She heard the beam of light zap him just as she hit the floor, driving a sharp cry out of him, followed by a grunt when he slammed into the wall. But a quick glance back reassured her that he wasn’t too badly hurt, as he landed on all fours without swaying too much. Tempest turned her attention back to the intruders, gritting her teeth as her horn throbbed painfully with energy just waiting to be discharged.
As she blinked away the afterimages from her vision, Tempest surged to her hooves—and halted when she found herself facing a somewhat chubby unicorn mare about ten paces away, frozen to the spot with her ears laid back flat and her legs stiffly erect whilst a pinkish pegasus foal with disproportionately enormous wings hovered at head-height beside her.
“Stars above, I am so, so fired…” the mare murmured, staring blankly at them. Dark bags hung under her eyes.
“Guh!” the foal burbled. “Bat! Batty!”
“Now, now, don’t bother the guests!” cried the mare as she wrapped the foal’s midriff in with magic.
“Nuh! Batty!” The foal wriggled in her magical grip – Tempest’s charged horn actually sputtered out with a pang of envy when she noticed the foal’s own massive, sparkling horn – and zapped the mare’s pinkish aura with a flash of yellow magic.
Flurry Heart.
She’d only seen Cadance’s foal from a distance on a few occasions, most notably that one time they’d visited Canterlot to oversee the joint military exercise, and a few more times as the students toured the palace grounds. She’d been rather docile on those occasions, when held by her mother or the Royal Crystaller, Sunburst.
That was quite the contrast to the restless, pouty foal that squealed as she broke out of her caretaker’s magical grip.
The mare aborted her spell and lunged to grab Flurry before she could dart over to Pharynx. “Oh please, just be a good filly and sit still for a minute!”
“Nuu, fluffy!” Flurry cried, waving her forelegs at Pharynx.
Pharynx frowned at the struggling pair. “You’re kidding. This is what woke us up all the way from the other wing?”
“She can be quite a hoofful when she feels like it!” the mare retorted.
Tempest raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t she have a favourite toy or something to keep her calm?”
“Yes, but Mister Whammy is currently in magical decontamination.” Then, before Tempest could even open her mouth, the mare continued with a deadpan, “Don’t ask.”
By then, the clanking guards had caught up to them, and the nearer of the two chimed in with a sympathetic wince, “Yeah, the little kid punches way above her weight. And when she gets into one of her moods…”
“Play-play!” cried Flurry Heart as she clapped her hooves together. “Hee hee! Play now!”
“Sorry kiddo, we’ve got to return to our posts now that our guests have been informed of the situation,” said the second guard. He then gave Tempest a nervous grin as he backpedalled down the hallway and waved at Flurry Heart. “Don’t kick up too much of a ruckus, yeah? Your mom and dad have a long day ahead of them tomorrow, m’kay?”
“Do you think you could help—”
“Sorry, Miss Amethyst. Love to, but we’ve been away from our post long enough as it is!”
With that, the two guards beat a hasty retreat, leaving Tempest and Pharynx with a distraught mare and an increasingly grumpy foal.
“What I wouldn’t give to teleport Sunburst here right this instant,” Amethyst muttered as she held a squirming Flurry Heart to her chest with one foreleg. “They’re guests on official business, Flurry. They’re not here to play with you.”
The little alicorn squealed as she fluttered her pinned wings, and Tempest didn’t need Amethyst’s shrunken pupils and pained wince to tell her that Flurry was building up to a full-blown wail that could wake the dead. Possibly literally, given the unpredictability of alicorn magic…
Tempest had a reasonable amount of experience infiltrating fortresses and hideouts in her previous career, so she had to expend a considerable amount of effort in overcoming her honed instincts for quickly silencing sentries who were on the verge of sounding the alarm. None of the techniques she’d committed to muscle memory were applicable to the present situation—at least, none that wouldn’t also land her in prison.
Unfortunately, the brief moment of paralysis had allowed the pitch and volume of Flurry’s wail to rise until the surrounding crystal walls practically hummed with resonance. Tempest flattened her ears. They only had seconds until—
Pharynx stomped up to Flurry Heart gave her a baleful glare. “Stop.”
He hadn’t exactly raised his voice, but it packed the weight of a freight train fully loaded with a father’s authority and disappointment, echoing faintly through the corridor.
Flurry Heart froze in mid-wail and blinked at him.
Huh. She’s probably never had a stern dressing-down in her life.
Amethyst stared, too.
The stunned silence couldn’t last forever, though.
Flurry Heart sniffled, and Tempest could already see the waterworks starting up in the corners of her eyes. Amethyst sensed the imminent explosion as well, cringing as she attempted to hush the filly with a torrent of whispers and croons. Flurry sucked in a deep breath, and—
With a low growl, Pharynx rolled his eyes and loomed over Flurry Heart, waggling his tufted ears as he did so. “You want Fluffy? You be quiet. Got it?”
Flurry held her breath with puffed cheeks for a second, then nodded, eyes wide.
“All right, give her here,” Pharynx continued, stretching out a webbed wing.
Amethyst shifted her hold on Flurry and bit her lip. “Are—are you sure?”
Pharynx appraised her with half-lidded eyes, from her visibly trembling hooves to dishevelled mane. “You smell like you’re ten minutes away from collapsing from exhaustion. But hey, if you don’t want to steal a break when it’s offered, we can just—”
“No, no, I’m good!” Amethyst hastily shook her head and gave him a hysterical grin. “Be careful with her, okay? I just need a moment to catch my breath and—”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, just pass the grub here,” Pharynx drawled, flexing his wing fingers like a hand impatiently waiting to receive money.
Flurry Heart giggled when Amethyst released her into Pharynx’s wing-cradle, and she whooped when he casually flipped her onto his back like a pancake. As soon as she landed, she went straight to hugging his neck and nuzzling his mane as if he was a giant plush toy.
Pharynx’s eyes widened, and he swayed a little before recovering his balance with a huff. Even his slit pupils had substantially expanded in a manner similar to a pony's who'd snuffed some dreamweed dust. “Okay, that’s a lot of energy in a tiny package.”
“There’s no risk of you overeating, is there?”
“I know how to safely discharge excess emotions,” he said, waving aside her concern with a hoof. He then turned his eyes downward and added, “We should be worrying more about her.”
Tempest followed his gaze and sighed when she found Amethyst on her haunches, slumped and leaning against the wall. A thin line of drool trailed from the corner of her mouth as she snored away, periodically kicking with one hind leg. She didn’t even stir when Tempest prodded her shoulder.
“Well, so much for just catching her breath...” she muttered.
Flurry Heart squealed, and when Tempest turned to look, she found the little alicorn giggling as she used a foreleg and both of her feathery wings to bat away Pharynx’s webbed ones. He had them half-folded and looming over her like a pair of coiled snakes ready to strike, and they periodically poked at her in an attempt to tickle her with the claws of his wing-thumbs. Breaching Flurry’s defences rewarded him with a delighted squeal, whilst getting fended off resulted in giggles and smug foal-babbling. And all the while, Pharynx was still looking upon Amethyst with almost clinical boredom, as if the foal straddling his back was happening to a completely different person.
She tried reconciling that with the memory of Pharynx gleefully terrorising a couple of street urchins on their first date, and the numbers did not add up.
Tempest shook her head. “Okay, where is this coming from?”
“What?”
She stretched out her foreleg and gestured at Flurry Heart. “This! I thought you—”
“Like picking on things weaker than me?” Pharynx glanced over his shoulder and shrugged as he teased another squeal out of Flurry. “No fun picking on grubs, and this one’s closer to actual grub than juvenile.”
“So you hate colts and fillies, but you also… like foals?”
“Hey, I just know how to keep grubs occupied because I used to fill in for Thorax whenever he got too stressed out to work in the hatchery,” Pharynx said with a scowl. He then cast a glance at Flurry and snorted. “Doesn’t mean I like them; I hated grub duty.”
“I… I see.” Tempest nodded slowly. Then, she frowned when she looked at Flurry’s padded hindquarters. “Does that mean you know how to change her?”
“Eh?”
“You know…” She gestured vaguely at Flurry’s rump. “If she poops herself? Because I’m afraid that I’ll be next to useless when that happens.”
“Hee! Poop!” Flurry cried.
“Oh. You mean organic waste.” Pharynx glanced around the hallway and growled, “Well, that’s no good. The hatchery had canals running right through for waste management, so we just dumped dirty grubs into the pools whenever they made a mess.”
Tempest couldn’t help grinning when an image of Pharynx dunking Flurry Heart in the atrium’s indoor fountain flashed in her mind, but she stopped just as quickly when she considered the likelihood of Princess Cadance going berserk at the sight of her daughter’s mistreatment.
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it’s done over here,” she said.
“Well, maybe you ponies should start looking into that. It’s more convenient than these waste bags you make them wear.” He then scowled at Flurry and waggled a wing finger at her. “And you… you’re holding it in until we’re off grub duty, got it?”
Flurry simply giggled and shied away from the accusing appendage. Then, without missing a beat, she buried her muzzle in his mane and blew a raspberry, following it up with more giggling and babbling whilst Pharynx watched with half-lidded eyes.
Tempest chuckled. “Well, that sounds promising.”
Pharynx grumbled and turned to march down the hallway. “This place has got to have a hatchery equivalent, right? Any idea where it is?”
“No, but it shouldn’t be too far from here,” she said, grabbing one of Amethyst’s forelegs to haul her up. Once she had her lying across her back like an incapacitated trooper, she trotted up alongside Pharynx and continued, “We can just ask the two slobs back there where the nursery is. Worst-case scenario, we find an unoccupied room and try to minimise collateral damage while waiting for her nanny to wake up.”
Tempest then glanced at Flurry, who had her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth whilst she grabbed and twisted several locks of Pharynx’s mane with her magic in a crude attempt to braid it. She winced when she pulled one of the knots tight, but aside from a bit of twitching, Pharynx didn’t show any discomfort.
“Would be nice if you’d just go to sleep yourself,” she murmured. “It’s way past your bedtime.”
Flurry blew a raspberry at her. “Nuh! No sleepy!”
Tempest rolled her eyes. “Sure, kid. Whatever you say.”
A quick backtrack to the two guards, and they had their directions to the nearest playroom.
Though, nearest implied multiples existed. She almost paused to wonder whether those were all specifically built to service Flurry Heart’s entertainment, or whether they were just for the general convenience of staff and visitors who had children. She hadn’t noticed any children of Flurry’s age during her visits, so that sort of narrowed it down…
They didn’t have to go very far.
As soon as they pushed through the thick door covered in all sorts of colourful stickers, crystal lamps automatically flared to life, and Tempest felt her jaw go slack.
Thick, warm carpeting muffled their hoofsteps as they stepped into the well-lit room. Honestly, it was more of a hall than a room, since it could’ve easily functioned as temporary lodging for all of Twilight’s students on this school trip.
It almost looked like an armoury, except that the racks of gear on hoof consisted of books, board games, toy blocks, mattresses, bean bags, cushions and brightly-coloured hunks of plastic that looked like folded blow-up kiddie pools or small bouncy castles. One corner had an open cupboard fully stocked with rows and rows of canned mash for foals, and the bottom section had at least six packs of diapers. A menagerie of stuffed toys, from diamond dogs and dragons to sharks and snails lay in several piles next to the cupboards and shelves.
Some long-dormant side of her – a side which used to engage with all the colts and fillies around her age in bragging about whose parents gave them the fanciest toys and presents, or who took them to the most exciting places – rose from the depths of her psyche with a vengeance, demanding equal treatment.
“You taste funny,” said Pharynx.
She had to work her mouth for a second or two before she got the words to come out. “I’m jealous.”
“Really?”
Tempest snorted. “Yes. I am a grown mare, and I’m jealous of a foal’s playroom.”
She trudged over to one of the beanbags and carefully laid Amethyst onto it. Not that she really needed to, since the mare was practically dead to the world, but Tempest knew better than to further compound her overworked state with aches and pains due to bad sleeping posture.
Once she’d made her comfortable and wiped the drool off her shoulder, Tempest turned back and said, “I’ll go find someone to take over—”
“Nuu!” cried Flurry.
She hopped off Pharynx’s back, flitted to one of the piles of toys and fluttered back to them with a half dozen stuffed creatures in magical tow. She then inspected each one in quick succession, periodically glancing at Tempest and Pharynx, before she finally picked out two animals.
Tempest blinked. After staring at the stuffed armadillo bobbing in the air before her muzzle for a couple more seconds, she gingerly accepted it with a hoof. “Uh, thanks?”
“Hee!” Flurry Heart hugged a sleek, fuzzy dolphin and cheekily bumped it against Tempest’s armadillo. “Play?”
Tempest stole a glance back at Amethyst. Nope, still out of commission.
Pharynx, meanwhile, had received a big teddy bear from Flurry and wore a detached smile on his face as he reciprocated all the playful bumps it received from her dolphin.
“I suppose this means we’re conscripted for the rest of the night?” she murmured as she trotted to his side. “You—you’re actually kind of into this, aren’t you?”
“I just think we could use the practice. Maybe.”
She tilted her head. “Practice?”
“You know…” he gestured vaguely in Flurry’s direction with a hoof. “If we ever have our own broodlings and all…”
“Huh.”
Tempest remembered their promise to Cadance about playdates between their kids if things ever got that far. In the unlikely event that it came true, it would be beneficial to know exactly what kind of bargain they’d gotten themselves into…
A thoughtful hum drew Tempest back into the present, and she immediately saw Pharynx grinning as he patted Flurry Heart on the head and trotted off to gather as many stuffed toys as his mouth and limbs could carry.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Just help me get more of these,” he said, chuckling through his toothy grin.
She recognised that grin.
It meant that he was happy about something.
It also meant that someone else was going to be decidedly less happy about something.
Tempest quirked an eyebrow as Pharynx arranged his plush toys in an orderly row. Once finished, he dashed back to the pile to collect another bunch of them and then returned to start lining up a second row, all facing in the same direction. She glanced at Flurry Heart, who hovered overhead as she watched them with wide eyes and her plush dolphin still in her clutches, then flicked her eyes back to the growing formation on the floor.
A smile worked its way onto her muzzle when it all clicked into place.
“There’ll be consequences, you know,” she purred as she sidled up to him.
He smirked at her with half-lidded eyes. “She asked for it.”
“Mm-hmm…” She traced her hoof along his jawline. “And we promised, didn’t we?”
His breath was warm and sweet on her muzzle. “And a queen must keep her promises.”
Their lips met, and the world faded away for several seconds as Tempest closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss.
“Yuk.”
Tempest drew in a sharp breath through her nostrils and broke away from the kiss, only to find Flurry Heart watching them with narrowed eyes as she wrinkled her muzzle and stuck her tongue out.
She then shared a look with Pharynx and grinned sheepishly. “Right. Little early to be educating her on that.”
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know… she tastes like she’s already seen more than a little bit of actio—”
Tempest snorted and playfully shoved him away. “Yeah, we’re not going there.”
“Fine, fine,” he said, sniggering as he went back to continue organising his rows of stuffed toys.
Tempest marched to the opposite side of his army, leaving about ten paces between herself and the frontline. She sat on her haunches, looked up at Flurry Heart and then patted the carpeted floor by her side.
“C’mon, you want to play a game?”
Flurry Heart dove and landed so hard that a ring of dust expanded from her point of impact on the carpet. Her curls bounced as she nodded vigorously, looking up to Tempest, still hugging her dolphin. “Yeh!”
“Hmm, let’s see…”
The closest thing to a pony amongst Flurry’s retinue of plushies was a zebra, which she took and placed on the carpet to face Pharynx’s army. Then, she picked out a few more of them to form a supporting line behind the lead zebra. Once that was done, she bent down until she was almost at head-height with Flurry Heart, who leaned closer and swivelled her ears forward, watching in rapt silence.
Smiling, Tempest stretched out her foreleg, swept it across the battlefield and said, “All right. We’re going to play a little game called Who is Your Daddy, and What Does He Do?”
“Phew, I’m glad that’s over,” said Cadance as she stepped out of the Great Hall, flicking her tail. “I thought it was never going to end.”
As soon as the doors boomed shut, Shining Armour gave her a weary smile and sighed. “Yeah, Baron Topaz definitely has a gift when it comes to words.”
“Well, it would be nice if he could lavish it on somepony else for a change.” Cadance sighed and leaned against him to give him a nuzzle. “He’s kinder than most, but there’s only so many ways somepony can complain about the new weather project before I feel like stuffing corks into my ears—or a cupcake into his mouth. There are limits to what poor Nimbus’ team can do this far north, and they’re making do without a proper weather factory!”
“They’ll learn. It’ll get better once we get the infrastructure up and running.”
Cadance glanced at the clock in the corridor and groaned. “Darn. Twilight’s already on the train home, isn’t she? Thorax, too, I suppose.”
“Hey, Honey, don’t worry about that,” he murmured as he kissed her forehead. “We already knew the schedule was going to be tight. Let’s just go find Flurry and have a nice afternoon together, hmm?”
She smiled. “Yeah, that sounds really nice right now.”
After a quick conversation with the Royal Chamberlain to clear their schedule for the rest of the day, they took a leisurely walk through the courtyard to enjoy the warm sun on their way to pick up Flurry Heart from her room. Everything was on its merry way to being a perfectly pleasant day.
At least, until they crossed the threshold into the staff wing and heard a distant yelp.
Shining Armour perked his ears and blinked. “Was that Sunburst? I thought he’d taken the day off!”
“He had to be summoned back because Miss Amethyst had a nervous breakdown,” a nearby guard helpfully supplied.
“A nervous breakdown?” Cadance gasped. “Oh no. Did Flurry have another magic surge?”
The guard glanced at his partner and winced. “Well, not exactly…”
A brisk trot got them to the playroom in short order, and the hum of active magic penetrating the thick doors did not bode well for what was transpiring within. Sunburst’s intermittent yips and cries of dismay drove them to pull the double doors open with enough unnecessary force to make them creak and squeal on their hinges, only to reveal—
A wooden alphabet cube the size of a small boulder tumbling right at them.
“What the hay?” cried Shining Armour.
His bubble shield deflected it easily enough, but his spell fizzled out as soon as he beheld the chaos within.
The playroom had been divided into two distinct halves. On the right side stood a veritable fortress haphazardly constructed from a mixture of books, cushions and wooden blocks of all shapes and sizes, most of which had been magically enlarged to varying degrees. Shining Armour recognised the basic structure of a gatehouse, though half of it had collapsed – were those mops and brooms taped together to form a portcullis? – and the two turrets on either side, as tall as Princess Celestia.
Flurry Heart perched on top of the nearest turret of her fortress, wearing a saucepan tilted at a precarious angle to accommodate her horn. She also had a little red blanket draped over her back like a cape, which billowed about dramatically whilst she babbled and made jabbing and sweeping motions with her forelegs. Plush toys in battle formations stood in front of her fortress, some of which had been knocked over, possibly by toy blocks and various balls lying all over the room.
And on the opposite side of Flurry’s fort stood a partially deflated blow-up castle surrounded by smaller fortifications constructed from pillows and mattresses. Most of them had been demolished to the point of being unrecognisable heaps, and dozens upon dozens of plushies lay scattered about on that side of the room. Very few of them remained standing in opposition to Flurry Heart’s fuzzy army.
The blow-up castle itself was big enough to comfortably serve as a playpen for up to five or six foals, but at present, it housed just one Sunburst laying prone with his forelegs thrown up to protect his head. Shining Armour almost didn’t recognise him at first, not until he reared up and leaned over the sagging wall of his castle to wave frantically at them.
Cadance immediately covered her mouth and giggled, and Shining Armour had to suppress a snigger as well when he realised why he hadn’t immediately recognised his profile.
Sunburst was wearing armour, if one was willing to be very generous with the definitions of said attire. He had slapped on a rather loose-fitting hoofball helmet and strapped several pillows around his legs and foam pads over his flanks with belts, and also somehow squeezed into an inner tube to cover his back and belly. His signature cape was nowhere to be seen.
“Oh, thank goodness!” Sunburst cried. “Over here!”
He then flinched when Flurry Heart squealed with delight from the opposite side of the room.
Shining Armour turned his head just in time to see Flurry lifting an oversized beanbag in her magical aura, only to drop it onto the raised end of a plank – probably dismantled from a shelf – laying across an overturned barrel. A bucket filled with an assortment of wooden toys sat on the lower end of the plank, and the beanbag catapulted the whole lot of them towards Sunburst’s castle when it landed on the raised end of the plank.
Sunburst yelped and ducked as the bucket and toy blocks rained upon him, bouncing off his puffy attire and fortifications and knocking over the last few standing members of his stuffed army.
“Da-da!” When Flurry Heart noticed Shining gaping at her, she pointed at her contraption and proudly puffed up her chest, saying, “Trebooshay!”
“I don’t think this game is appropriate for a foal your age!” cried Sunburst.
“Wha… what is going on?” Cadance’s eye twitched as she whirled to face Shining Armour, all trace of mirth gone from her face. “Did you—”
He immediately threw up both hooves. “Whoa, I didn’t teach her any of this, I swear!”
“Then who did?”
“Hee-hee! Anaya-layshun!” Flurry Heart clapped her hooves as she magically launched a barrage of empty feeding bottles at Sunburst, followed by an arcing bolt of magic that exploded into a shower of sparkles over his head. “Tupid gwub!”
Cadance’s eyes widened for a couple of seconds before they slowly narrowed to slits, and Shining could almost hear her teeth grinding as her mouth twisted into a stiff smile. She then drew in a long, deep breath through her nostrils, shook her head and muttered, “Oh, well played, you clever bi—”
“You know, our girl looks like she’s got a really solid intuition of ballistics over there,” he wondered out loud, rubbing his chin with a hoof.
His spine then chilled when Cadance gave him the stink eye.
“Eh heh…” Shining grinned sheepishly and sidled past her. “All right. Rescuing Sunburst now. Nooo, Flurry Heart, it’s too early for you to be playing command and conquer!”
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D'awww, she's adorable! Also extremely dangerous.
Ah, weaponized toddlers. Always funny.
Clever girl.
Woot, new chapter. I got something to read in my way home
So worth the wait!
oh, so this is what set the disaster dominos falling, looks like it’s not tempest and phanax having kids that sets off twilights future dreams.
Flurry Heart is like Kirby. An adorable, jolly pink creature who also happens to have enough power and combat skill to smite elder gods before breakfast.
Command and Conquer!? I see what’s done there.
Let's face it, Pink is the color of chaos in MLP
Man I love the turnaround there
Woo, update!
I'm very glad for how the story ended--I honestly found myself really strongly disliking Cadance and her antics throughout. I really wanted to see her get the heavy-end of a hammer dropped on her, i.e. "You knock your manipulative horseapples off or you're not going to be invited to the wedding." Having Flurry learn how to use toy-ballistics is a decent substitute.
Temrynx has updated.
All is right in the world.
E X C E L L E N T
I mean unless i missed something I think they've done that part already.
Cadance: "I mean yes but you did play part in mucking up my wedding!"
I also had this thought:
Cadance: "Just you wait. Sooner or later I'm gonna go Nightmare Cadance somehow and then every creature is getting married!"
This is more than anything convincing me that Shining Armor is a soldier. Good food in front of you? Eat. Eat big. You don't know when you might be forced to last a month on MRE's.
Minor thing but you hadn't actually estalished the mare is named Amethyst before this, so unless Tempest already knows her this should probably still be "the mare" or "the caretaker" or something.
See, since he's a thestral right now I don't mind the wing-finger thing here since bat wings really are basically giant-fingered hands with webbing. I really dislike it in pegasi, though.
This feels like the sort of insight and foresight used to gift enchanted artifacts or the like. Like Aslan giving gifts to those kids in Narnia.
This checks out, between her wings and her innate teleportation skill. She's probably frustrated her parents multiple times.
I choose to believe that this is part of how Flurry learned how to count to fore.
Perceptive one, aren't you?
This is only when she has little controll of her power, imagein when she has only slightly more controll, and is mad.... time to move to the next star system
Somewhere in the frozen north...
WESTHOOF STUDIOS PRESENTS...
...the Flurries fall.
COMMAND & CONQUER
WINTER STORM
This story is never not funny. I think I reviewed it back when it started, and gave it a thumbs up for the original and brilliantly obvious ship. I particularly like the ending where Cadance got to eat her words; wouldn't start a war over this? Yeah, that depends on what you mean by a war.
10358082
If they really, really want to get one over on Cadance, Pinkie, Thorax, and every other intolerable shipper they’ve had to put up with thus far, they should go to the registrar a few days before the wedding, when all the arrangements have been made, get it all done in the space of 20 minutes with no friends present, then cancel the festivities in their totality. Of course, the corresponding vengeance will be terrible, nauseatingly adorable, and so very, very PINK.
10358398
Knowing Cadance, she'll have orders out to the Registrar to prevent that.
10358435
You are quite right of course. I would say that there is always Las Pegasus, but if they try that they will probably be punished.
camo.fimfiction.net/x3ysdSg4Vp1SpPfNAzon3HIaVAiKFedUo7DkXjUe5QU?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2015%2F1%2F29%2F816862__safe_princess%2Bluna_princess%2Bcelestia_screencap_smile_princess%2Bcadance_grin_twilight%2527s%2Bkingdom_spoiler-colon-s04e26_spoiler-colon-s04e25.jpg
Who knows who might be awaiting them in the sparkly jumpsuit at the end of the aisle...
derpicdn.net/img/2019/6/27/2076950/thumb.png
10358324
Good, I was thinking this exact same thing, but more Time Curry lol
10358034
God yes, though now we gotta wait for the turnabout if the turnaround! I can only imagine the prank war, especially with the awkward political-but-also-wedding stuff at the beginning.
It's never too early to learn about the burden of civil and military maintenance.
The best part, though? It is entirely possible they did this on accident.
And it ends the only way any introduction to Flurry can end.
ANNAYA-LAY-SHUN!
Surely it's not too early to start shaping her mind with Chess or Go or Shogi or Xiangqi or Reversi or Hex.
Or maybe she joins in daddy's O&O group. As long as they stick to proper 2nd Edition and none of the dumbed-down later stuff. Auntie Twilight can walk her through THAC0 and min-maxing theory. Maybe with some formal game theory and bookmaking math thrown in.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MinMaxing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics_of_bookmaking#Algebraic_interpretation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hex_(board_game)#Mathematical_theory
Haha, I'm listening to the full Command and Conqueror Remastered soundtrack as I read this
Oh this was a joy to read. Nice to see the two get revenge in the most salient way possible.
This is the best thing I've read all week.
The pony universe has Command & Conquer confirmed.
I really enjoyed this chapter. I am pretty entrigued to know what the love child of those two would be like.
Pharynx reminded me of Vegeta btw
Temrynx foal: *about Flurry's age, walk up to Tempest* Mama.
Tempest: What is it my little...
Temrynx foal: *giggles* F&#k.
Tempest: *insert calculations meme* That pink bi..
10358138
Good catch. Fixed. I must've missed it after swapping scenes around.
I can tolerate it up to a certain extent with pegasi, so long as they keep it limited to gestures and manipulating really light objects, like paper. But when they portray feathers as being individually prehensile, that's a bit much.
I've deliberately left it open to interpretation, but yes, Tempest's upbringing is unlikely to give her any reservations about premarital sex. Thorax probably has just gotten romanticised ideas from novels.
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"I am Flurry. You will obey."
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Others had voiced their concerns that Cadance was crossing a line even in the previous chapters, I think. After giving it some thought, I agreed that Cadance deserved a little comeuppance for overstepping her bounds.
Well, since everyone else only spotted the C&C reference...
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Ding! We have a winner!
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Oh God, now I’m doing this in my head. Tirek as Tim Curry? Tirek as Tim Curry.
“I am escaping to the one place that hasn’t been corrupted by friendship...S P A C E!!!”
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While she did over step her bounds a bit, you've handled that better than many authors who have her go so far that you can't even see the line any more. That's part of why I like this, you've done an awesome job with the characters, andthe pacing is strong. Can't wait to see what's next.
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You mean "Fluri".
Ha, adorable little conqueror we got here
That ending bit with Flurry Heart cracked me up. Ultra funny, but poor Sunburst...
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What pepper name?
Nice one! Haven't had a good laugh at corruption of the youth in ages!
Stupid grub, indeed!
The time skips in this story are fantastic. I expect next update they're walking down the aisle when suddenly they're under attack. Then we have a "12 hours earlier" and it's all stuff that's just aggravating Tempest and Pharinx, yet to everypony else it's all just normal, casual fun at the soon to be bride and groom's expense.
I'm conflicted. I want to see a wedding where everything goes crazy, out of control, to which Tempest and Pharinx enjoy themselves by kicking and bucking the shit out of the baddies... and yet, at the same time, the very idea of an actual, normal wedding where nothing goes wrong, yet they're both waiting for something to go wrong, only it doesn't, and they continue to grow more agitated and grumpy over this fact while everyone else is all relaxed and glad it's going off without a hitch.
These poor sods, either way, they're doomed. I eager await what you have planned.
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The description of a course from the meal in the previous chapter:
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Oh. I hadn’t realized it was a food
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Oh, don't worry. I have plans.
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Wedding goes off without a hitch, but then the reception is a disaster.
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"Do not panic. You will all die."
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[YOUR WORLD WILL BURN UNDER MY-]
Ph: "Oh hey! A giant spider golem to fight! Did the pink one set this up?"
Te: "Which one?!"
[-YOUR OCEANS BOIL FROM TECTONIC-]
Ph: "Yes."
Te: "...Fair enough. But I don't think so. Spiders are more Princess Luna's thing.
Ph: "And Golems would be more Twilight's thing."
[-CORRODED BY EXPOSURE TO MY-]
Ph: "Best!"
Te: "Wedding gift!"
PHTE: "EVER!"
Seems a little extreme. Cadence forces her way into being their wedding planner and Tempest plants the beginnings of another King Sombra in their child.
Magnificent stuff. Never underestimate the Princess of Food... nor the happy couple. I get the feeling that this is the beginning of a beautiful rivalry. And that Flurry will have an amazing childhood.
Also, now I want to see Shining and Pharynx interact more. Given the chance, I imagine they could bond over both military tactics and their siblings' misadventures on their respective thornes.
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Let's just hope she never learns how to consume the bodies and souls of her enemies.
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Well, I wouldn't say Cadance forced it all that much, but she can be quite persuasive through other means. And as for Flurry, I think it's a little bit of a jump to say she's taking after Sombra right now. It's not too far off from pretend-war games youngsters might play.
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She's always a short visit away from the maddest ponies in Equestria. That's probably a given.
I'm debating whether or not to send a link to this chapter to Silver Quill and Firebrand.