P.O.V ????
"UGH..." I slam my fist on my alarm clock and climb out of the bed. I then do my morning routine. Once done, I stretch and look at myself in the mirror; seeing a large man with a bushy beard. I smile and get dressed.
"I wish I had more time to play video games and play my guitar but whatever. There’s only so much time in a day."
I get my keys and phone then lock my door before leaving and walking down the street reading a displaced story on FimFiction. I chuckle as they got summoned and flew right into a wall. When I'm close to the street corner, I hear a car horn blare. I look, and my eyes widen then run into the street to push a young girl out of the way of the car. I only had enough time to smile before I get hit and sent rolling over the car before landing in the street; breathing weakly and looking up at the sky before slowly close my eyes thinking 'at least she will be ok.' I slowly open my eyes and all I see is white. I look around not seeing anything until I hear the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"Behind you" a voice said.
I turn around and see a ball of light as my eyes widen.
"A-are you-" I begin to ask but they interrupt me.
"Yes, I am; but let's move on. I saw what you did and I am proud. As a reward I'll let you live again; but it can't be on Earth."
I blink and think then say "Can I have a new body with some powers? And choose what world I go to?"
The orb bobs and says "Yes. As long as you don't ask to become a god."
I nod and think before I say, "I want to go to Equestria, with an Equestrian dragon body; but with some unique abilities?"
The orb askes "What abilities do you wish to have?"
"Well, I would to be able to control my size so I can stay the same size no matter how old I get. For my appearance I'd like to be red with jet black horns, amber eyes and spikes down my back. As for the powers: I would like to have the power of the Gamer with three modifications. First mod is two money slots one for the local currency and the second for loot money that I get from monster drops and mission rewards. The second mod I'd like is a store screen that will let me use my loot money to buy skills, weapons, clothes and other things basically anything and everything is available on it. And finally the third mod isn't as important but would be nice, having more gauges unlock when I unlock a different energy like ki for example so not all my skills need magic points. Can I also have basic knowledge of how to fly and breath fire? Oh and books with knowledge of equestrian dragons if that's not too much."
The orb bobs a little, staying quiet before saying "That is acceptable. Are you ready?"
I smile and nod then the orb glows brighter and brighter till I can't see.
P.O.V 3rd person
There is a flash of light in the middle of a clearing in the dragon lands and now there is a dragon laying unconscious in that clearing. Soon this dragon begins to stir and gets up. It looks around and then down at himself and grins before yelling "YES!"
P.O.V ???
"YES!" I yell and look around "I'm on Equis and I'm a dragon! Ha ha ha"
I look myself over at the moment. I am a red male dragon about five feet tall I look around and see nothing but volcanic lands, volcanos and a few dragons. I take the chance while I’m alone to check my stats so I say "Stats." And a screen appear showing my information.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: N/A
Occupation: N/A
Level: 5
Next level: 0.00%
HP (Hit Points): 500/500
MP (Magic Points): 400/400
STR (Strength): 5
DEX (Dexterity): 5
VIT (Vitality): 5
INT (Intelligence): 4
WIS (Wisdom): 3
LUC (Luck): 3
Points: 0
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits: 0
Info: N/A has been reborn in a new world for saving the life of a young girl and has been gifted with the power of the Gamer.
"Hmm. it seems I'll need to do something about my name." I tap the N/A that is supposed to be my name and a new screen pops up with a keyboard so I type in my new name and smile before pushing confirm and the screen closes and I check my stats again.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 5
Next level: 0.00%
HP: 500/500
MP: 400/400
STR: 5
DEX: 5
VIT: 5
INT: 4
WIS: 3
LUC: 3
Points: 0
Real Bits:0
Loot Bits:0
Info: Deltorix has been reborn in a new world for saving the life of a young girl and has been gifted the power of the gamer.
I smile and tap the HP bar and the MP bar and read the information on them.
HP short for Hit Points, HP is determined by your VIT and have a replenish rate of 1% per minute for every 10 points in DEX till fully healed you can also sleep for a hour and all HP and MP filled.
MP short for Magic Points are used for magic based skills and max amount is determined by INT with a replenish rate of 1% per minute for every 10 points in WIS you can also sleep for a hour and all HP and MP will be filled.
I nod and then say "Skills." And a new screen pops up showing my skills.
Skills
Gamer's Mind: level: max (passive)
Gamers Body: level: max (passive)
Size Control: level: max( active & passive)
Flame Breath: level: 1 (active)
Flight: level: 1 (active)
Guitar Playing: level 10 (active)
I tap on each skill to check them and read each description.
Skill Gamer's Mind: level: max (passive)
This skill keeps the players mind clear in stressful situations by suppressing their emotions and protects player from all mental attacks and insanity.
Skill Gamer's Body: level: max (passive)
Gamers body makes the players body like that of a video game character
Skill Size Control: level max (active & passive)
This skill let's the player controls their size from young child size [two feet tall] to a max size of [natural size without uses of skill] there is no MP cost to use this skill.
Skill Flame Breath: level: 1 (active)
This skill is a natural ability of species [dragon] and as such the MP cost to use skill is dropped from 20 per second to 10 per second. This skill allows the player to breath a stream of fire from their mouth the more MP you channel into the attack the wider and hotter the flames will be. Minimum MP needed 10 per second, max MP that can be used 100 per second.
Next level at 0.00%
Skill Flight: level: 1 (active)
This skill is a natural ability to species [dragon] and cost is dropped from 100 MP per minute to 50 MP per minute. Flight allows the player to fly at a speed of 10 MPH at a height of 500 feet.
Next level at 0.00%
Skill Guitar Playing: level 10 (active)
This skill let's the player play any guitar song from his memory at a moderate level.
I grin and flap my wings and then fly into the sky and look around and see a small group of dragons going into a old looking temple, the one on the left is brown and on the right purple and in the center red I shake my head and keep looking around then I see a blue dragon flying away. I follow them and land behind them after they land.
"Hello. I am hoping you can tell me how to get to somewhere."I ask the dragon that I can clearly see is female now she turns around and crosses her arms and huffs.
"What do you want and who the Tartarus are you? Can't you see I'm busy trying to get away from the dragon lord who if you don't know is my dad,” she demanded in an annoyed tone.
I smile softly and say. "How about a deal? We work together and head towards Equestria then we go our separate ways. One little secret;q the dragon lord has no power over me."
She rolls her eyes and points behind her. "Equestria is that way but I don't know why you'd want to go to a lame place like that. And yeah right, no dragon can refuse a order from the Dragon Lord." I look slightly above her head and read her name and level.
Ember
Level 35
Title: Dragon Lord's daughter
I nod and smile. "Thanks. My name's Deltorix by the way. I hope we meet again some time." I take off and fly the way she pointed and it isn't long before I hear wings flapping behind me. I look back and see her flying near me I chuckle softly and say." Don't worry we aren't traveling together we just happen to be going in the same direction."
She seems to have a small smile when I say that and we fly for a while before we land in some woods I watch as she goes off most likely to get food or something else while she is gone I think to myself.
'Ok I'm on Equis. Now I need to find out when I am, what kind of ponies they are, then become a citizen, and a house, and maybe find where I can get a guitar.' After thinking of a plan two screens pop up and I smile when I read them.
Due to thinking out a plan you have earned 1 point in INT
New Quest
First part meet Princess Celestia, rewards 500 XP and 50 bits
Second part ????? rewards ????
Third part ???? Rewards ?????
Fourth part ???? Rewards ????
Fifth part ???? Rewards????
Time limit one week.
I nod to myself and then decide to get some abilities while she isn't around. I focus in myself and feel for my magic. Once I find it I push it into my hand I look and see a blue mist. I focus harder and form a rope with it and throw it at a tree and grin when I get a new message.
New Skill Created
New skill Bind (active)
Bind level: 1
Info: Bind uses magic rope to tie up your target up for a short time costs 10 MP to use.
I grin and look around then leave the makeshift camp and focus my magic into my hand again and push it out and I get another message.
New Skill Created
New skill Instant Dungeon Create [I.D. Create](active)
I.D. Create: level 1
Info: I.D. Create let's you made Instant dungeons to fight enemies.
I nod and swipe the screen away and quickly try to break out of the I.D. and once I'm successful I get another screen pop up.
New Skill Created
New skill I.D. Escape (active)
I.D. Escape: level 1
Info: this skill let's the user escape Instant dungeons at any time.
I head back to the makeshift camp and sit down by the fire looking around while I wait for Ember and earn another skill.
Congratulations you have earned the skill Observe (active).
Observe: level 1(active)
Observe allows you to see information on people or objects
I smile and just then Ember returns with a big fish in her hands she sits down and starts eating it I take out a book out of my inventory while she is distracted.
While I'm reading Ember looks over and asks." Aren't you going to eat?....not that I care what you do I just don't want you falling onto me while we are flying."
I roll my eyes and lie. "I ate while you were gone I had a few snacks ready." I'm not sure if she believes me but she drops it and I keep reading once she goes to sleep I smile walk away from the camp and start spamming I.D. Create and I.D. Escape till both are level 5 then I look at I.D. Create.
Instant Dungeon create [I.D. Create] (active)
I.D. Create: level 1(active)
Info: I.D. Create(active) let's you made Instant dungeons to fight enemies.
Level 1 dungeon: empty
Level 2 dungeon: zombies
Level 3 dungeon: ghosts
Level 4 dungeon: timberwolves
Level 5 dungeon: rockadile
I smile and look at the time and nod and enter a zombie dungeon and look at the zombies.
zombie pony [earth] level 10
zombie pony [unicorn] level 20
zombie pony [Pegasus] level 15
I fly up and quickly use bind on the zombie pegasi then land and quickly stab them with my claws and earn a skill but I swipe it away without reading it then I grab their heads and slam them into the ground over and over till they die and drop items but I keep fighting and I also
level up.
level up
level up
level up
level up
I rush up to a unicorn and use my claws to rip its horn off and then claw it till it dies then a earth pony zombie bucks me hard.
-100 damage taken
I turn around and breath fire on it long and hard till it died I pant and quickly pick up all the items most bits and a heath potion and a skill book then I use I.D. Escape and pant looking at my new stats.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 9
Next level: 85%
HP: 400/500
MP: 0/500
STR: 5
DEX: 5
VIT: 5
INT: 5
WIS: 3
LUC: 3
Points: 20
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits: 400
Info: Deltorix has started his new life and began training with his new powers.
I then add the points to my stats then check my skills.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 9
Next level: 85%
HP: 700/800
MP: 400/900
STR: 7
DEX: 7
VIT: 8
INT: 9
WIS: 8
LUC: 7
Points: 0
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits: 400
Info: Deltorix has started his new life and began training with his new powers.
Skills
Gamer's Mind: level max (passive)
Gamer’s Body: level max (passive)
Size Control: level max (active & passive)
Guitar playing: level 10 (active)
Flame breath: level 1 (active)
Flight: level 2 (active)
Bind: level 1(active)
Observe: level 1 (active)
I.D. Create: level 5 (active)
I.D. Escape: level 5 (active)
Claws of Fury: level 1(active)
Sinister Slam: level 2(active)
Slice and Dice: level 1(active)
I nod and sigh and look at myself I'm still clean so I get up and walk to the camp and read till sunrise when Ember wakes up.
She gets up and yawns and shakes herself then walks off for a little while then comes back and asks, “Are we leaving or what?"
I chuckle and get up and nod. "Sure how much further till Equestria? I don't want do take too long." We take off and fly north and I slip my book into my inventory then fly faster and smirk at Ember as I pass her. "Let's race!"
She grins and we fly faster zooming past trees and through the clouds then she pulls ahead and lands at the edge of a huge forest.
“Looks like I win the race let’s rest here then we can fly over the Everfree and you can go wherever you want after that."
I nod and chuckle as I sit down and close my eyes I try to remember what I know about meditation and clear my mind and I get a new screen pop up I open a eye and see I got a new skill.
New Skill Meditate
Meditate allows the player to recover MP at a rate of 20 points per minute.
I smile and meditate for a while refilling my MP gauge then Ember says “Ok let's go I want to get on the other side of the Everfree before night fall."
I get up and pop my back then nod. "Right that's a good idea. Let’s go." We fly over the forest and then when we get to Ponyville and it is full of crazy and chaotic things I blink and glare and start looking for Discord.
Ember rubs her arm and looks at me."Hey your not as lame as I thought so...maybe we can hang out later, bye." She flies away before I can say anything. I look at her as she flies away and shake my head not understanding her then fly into the chaotic Ponyville then I see him and hold my hand out and use bind on him and rush in and grab him.
Discord: level ???
Title: God of chaos
"Undo this chaos now, Discord!" He just smirks and breaks free easily and grabs me in his magic I struggle and he chuckles.
"My my my how violent of you let's see what you are 'truly' like." He is about to touch my forehead but I kick out and hit his crotch and his eyes widen then fall out and in a high squeaky voice he says."Oooow."
But as soon as he said that he is back to normal and smirking. “Now I see you are very violent and I can't have that."
He chucks as he touches my forehead and I feel his magic inside me I growl and then screens pop up one after another over and over.
“I can't believe you thought you thought you could beat me?"
Chaos magic is attempting to alter players mind.
Gamer’s mind negates mental attack
Chaos magic is attempting to alter players mind.
Gamer’s mind negates mental attack
Chaos magic is attempting to alter players mind.
Gamer's mind negates mental attack
Chaos magic is attempting to alter players mind.
Gamer’s mind negates mental attack
I then see Twilight and her friends coming so I look at Discord and say. "Oh Discord I was never trying to beat you." Then I grin and say. "I am just the distraction."
His eyes widen and he looks over and sees the girls using the elements and drops me and I quickly use I.D. Create and start laughing then I fly up and use I.D. Escape and fly to Canterlot staying out of the spotlight.
I made sure to fly high enough to not scare the ponies below, and fly all the way to Canterlot. Landing in the city, I look around and see many ponies looking both scared and snobby. I chuckle quietly and start walking towards the castle. I make sure to not look threatening but it isn't long before ten guards surround me with spears pointing at me. They are all white furred with golden armor and Roman-like helmets; some seem to be shaking from fear. "What seems to be the problem?"
"Quiet monster!" One guard that seems to be in charge yells and comes close to stabbing me. I look slightly above his head and read his name and level.
Quick Jump
Level: 27
I sigh and say "Ok I don't know what you think I did but I'll surrender. But I want to make a appointment with Princess Celestia."
They seem hesitant; most likely thinking its a trick so I sigh and put my hands together and wait. Soon enough a pair of dragon sized manacles were brought as they cuff me then take me to see Celestia.
Princess Celestia
Level: ???
She is about 6 feet tall compared to the average of 4 and a half feet tall for her ponies, her white fur shining like the sun itself and of course her long mane that moves in a unseen breeze. Once I see her, I smile. One guard hits my legs yelling "Bow to the princess; monster!"
-5 damage taken
I hold my ground and look back at the guards and say calmly "right now she isn't my princess; so I have no reason to bow. Now hush." I look back up to Princess Celestia who has a eyebrow raised.
"What reason do you have to attack my little ponies; dragon?" Princess Celestia asks while keeping her face neutral but I can feel the room get warmer; no doubt from her.
I roll my eyes and respond "I never attacked anypony. All I've done so far, is land in your city and walk a short time before your guards arrested me. As for what I came here for; I came to ask to become an Equestrian citizen and permission to hunt in the Everfree." I can see some guards turn green at the mention of hunting.
She looks at me for a short time before she nods "very well but you must live in Ponyville with my student Twilight Sparkle and she will keep a eye on you. You will also have four guards."
"Sounds fair. When can I go?" I ask as I relax, much to the guards irritation.
"You may go now. Do not abuse the trust I have given; dragon." Princess Celestia says as she gets four guards and gets a message ready.
"Please princess call me Deltorix. I hope we can become friends. After all, those with long lifespans should stick together." I wink and turn to leave completely ignoring the guards as I go to the train station.
P.O.V Princess Celestia
'What a strange dragon. I will have to keep a eye on him as I'm sure he is hiding something.' I think to myself as I get a scroll ready and start writing.
My faithful student-
I have a new task for you and your friends. A young dragon has come asking to be a citizen. I agreed but he must stay under your watch so please house him and learn what you can about him.
Your teacher; Princess Celestia.
Once I finish the letter I send it and sigh inwardly as I have to go back to dealing with nobles.
P.O.V Deltorix
Once there, I look back at my new guards; two day guards and two night guards and muse.
"Either of you buying tickets? I have no Bits." as I finish saying this one guard goes up and buys us all tickets.
Soon the train comes and we board the train. I sit down and relax, looking forward to my new life.
'Ok I'm a citizen, now to meet Twilight and her friends, get a job earn money then buy my own house and start my new life.' I think while I open my inventory and pull out the book on dragons and start reading trying to ignore the ponies that are watching me.
After a few minutes of me reading I feel a soft poking on my tail. I turn and look and smile softly seeing a little filly looking up at me. "Hello little one; is there something I can do for you?" I say in a soft way as to not scare her and close the book.
Sweet Treat
Level: 2
She gets a little nervous and in the corner of my eye I see a older mare look around before seeing her near me and stand up.
"What are you mister?" The filly asks and I chuckle before answering.
"Well I'm a dragon and my name is Deltorix. What's yours little one?" I say smiling but not showing teeth.
She smiles sweetly and hops as she answers. "I'm Sweet Treat! Would you like to try some of my candy?" She asks as she lifts up a home made candy, I also see the mare I suspect to be her mother rush over as I take it and try it. The moment it touches my tongue, my eyes widen and I force a smile as I move it to my cheek and pet her gently.
"It's delicious. Now your mother seems worried. Why don't you go back to her." I pet her again as she smiles proudly and goes back to her mother once she is looking away I look toward the window and try to eat the candy as fast as possible as it is too sweet for my taste.
While I'm doing that I hear one of my guards chuckle at me and say. "I guess the big bad dragon has a weakness for fillies."
I snort and finish the candy then look at the four of them.
Bronze Shield
Level: 20
Silver Shield
Level: 17
Night Lilly
Level: 31
Crimson Moon
Level: ???
"Just because I'm a dragon doesn't mean I'm a jerk. Now as we are going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future why don't we get to know about each other? Just start with what your willing to share at first by the looks of it we have an hour before we get to Ponyville." As I say this I open my inventory and put my book back into it.
They look at each other then the Pegasus day guard takes off his helmet and his fur changes to a light brown and his eyes turn blue. "Well my name is Bronze Shield this is my brother Silver Shield."
The unicorn day guard Silver Shield waves and takes his helmet off and his fur turns a few shades darker and is now a dull silver color, his eyes are also blue. "Hope you don't mind I'm going to take notes?"
After saying this; Silver takes out a note pad and quill; I just chuckle and say "I don't mind and I have no doubt you have orders to report what you learn about me to the princesses and I don't mind. I have nothing to hide but there are some things I will only tell them unless they use some kind of magic to keep you from accidentally telling somepony what you hear" I shrug then look over at the two bat ponies.
One steps forward "My name is Lieutenant Crimson Moon and I don't plan of being your friend; dragon."
The other bat pony looks a bit nervous but steps up and says. "My name is Night Lily and this is my sister Crimson Moon. She takes her job seriously so please don't be upset with her."
I wave off her concern. "I don't mind. Like you said; she is just doing her job and I can respect that but please Crimson call me Deltorix. So any questions for me?"
Bronze shield holds up a hoof and I chuckle before nodding to him "Why did you come to Equestria?"
"Hmm I'd have to say it's because it's so peaceful. I'm mean no place is ever perfect but Equestria seems like a great place and Silver; if you know a lie detector spell you can use it, I don't mind. I just reserve the right to not answer a question if I don't want to."
Silver nods and his horn glows a dark blue then stops. "What are your plans?" he asked
"Well let's see first things first. Meet this Twilight Sparkle then look for a job or something so I can earn bits and eventually buy a house."
Silver nods as he writes down everything said; then Crimson looks at me her eyes narrowed. "What do you plan to do for meat huh?! I know you need meat to survive."
"Well I did ask princess for permission to hunt in the Everfree Forest. So besides that I need to meet Twilight then find a job to make me bits but other than that; I plan of working on my abilities and studying magic." I say smiling softly but my smile falls when Crimson scoffs.
"Yeah, right. What kind of abilities would a dragon have other then burning things," she says not even looking at me.
I look around seeing all the other ponies are gone. I grin at my guards. Bronze and Lily move back but Silver is too busy taking notes to notice me and Crimson isn't looking at me. "Look what I'm going to tell you will sound crazy but I have a power called the Gamer, I ask that you don't tell any pony yet I will tell the princesses but not yet, I'll show and explain more later once we are alone and have some free space."
"Whatever but don't blame me if you make a fool of yourself" Crimson says and she finally looks back at me like I'm a waste of her time I only smirk then look out the window.
Lilly steps back from everyone as they all start asking me questions at once. I sigh and hold up my hands and say. "Ok ok hold up one at a time please."
Crimson glares at me “What kind of power is called the gamer?"
I shrug and say. "I didn't name it."
Bronze shield asks. "Does it have anything to do with video games?"
I chuckle and nod."Kinda yeah but I'll explain later when I can show you but I will say this, if you four help me get stronger I can help you four grow too."
Silver shield asks. “You can? Well I guess we can I mean it would mean we will know your abilities."
I smirk and nod." That's the idea if you four grow with my help you will be strong enough to keep me in line."
They look at each other and seem to calm down I smile as I look out the window and see ponyville. "Well seems we are here. Oh I don't know if any of you have been here before but I've....heard of a pink pony that loves to throw parties so be aware."
They just shrug as we get ready the train pulls into the station and we get off and a few ponies from town notice me and run I just sigh and poke bronze. "Mind going and asking where Twilight lives? I don't think I could get any of them to answer me."
As I finish saying that I hear the sound of flapping wings I look up in time to see a blue Pegasus rushing toward me I roll out of the way and growl. 'of course she would show up and attack me before seeing if I'm a threat, whatever.'
Rainbow Dash
Level: 39
Title: Element of Loyalty
She flies around heading for me again yelling. "I won't let you hurt anypony monster!"
I just roll my eyes and move in a way so she rushes right by me but I grab her and hold her tight. I look at my guards and say. "I would like to press charges for attempted battery."
The Pegasus stops moving just now noticing the guards and says." Hey what are you doing!? Can't you see this monster? Attack him before he can-"
She is cut off as Bronze and Silver put hoof-cuffs on her and I hand her over to them. “Hey what's the big idea?!"
I watch as they take her to the local guards station. "Well now that that is out of the way, hmmm."
I look around and spot Sugarcube Corner and say. "Let's wait for them in there"
The three of us go to Sugarcube Corner and when Pinkie Pie sees us, she jumps into the air gasping loudly not falling then zooms out the back, I just chuckle I take a seat as Lily orders something and Crimson keeps a eye on me.
I look at Crimson and ask. "Do you have a notepad and pencil?"
She grumbles and gives me what I asked for and I write as I think out loud. "Ok first I need to meet this Twilight Sparkle, then I need a space to train, and if possible I need to find somepony with poniquins hmmm."
I turn the page and continue writing but not speaking this time.
to do list
1.Meet Twilight Sparkle
2. Go to Celestia's old castle to train
3. Get poniquins for target practice
Ideas for inventions
1. radios for public
2. communication radios for the guards.
3. A pen.
I look up as Bronze and Silver come into the shop I smile and say. “Now that you two are back let's go see this Twilight." I get up and we follow Silver and Bronze to Twilight Sparkle's house.
P.O.V 3rd person Twilight Sparkle's home
Twilight sparkle paces in her library worried. "Oh what if I accidentally insult him or don't learn anything about him!"
Spike sighs and walks over and shakes her. "Calm down Twilight, everything is going to be fine. I'm sure you can out smart this dragon and you can always rely on your friends to help"
She calms down and smiles at her number one assistant. "Thank you Spike go get the girls I may need their help to keep a eye on-" She is cut off by knocking from the door.
She opens it with her magic and takes a step back seeing a tall red dragon smiling at her. "Hi you must be Twilight Sparkle right?"
"Uh...y-yes I'm Twilight. Are you the dragon the princess told me about?" She says a bit nervous.
"Sure am. Oh and these are the guards that are going to keep a eye on me, Bronze shield, Silver Shield, Night Lily, and the grumpy one is Crimson Moon." He said as he puts his claw on each guard's head.
"Hello, this is my assistant Spike he-" She is cut off by the dragon.
"You let a five year old help you?" He says with confusion.
"HEY! I'm 13!" Spike says crossing his arms.
P.O.V Deltorix
I look at Spike then raise a eyebrow. 'No way. Unless...' I think then look at Twilight who looks upset.
Spike Sparkle
Level: 4
Title: Number One Assistant
"What do you feed him?" I ask calmly but am looking a little upset.
Twilight blinks confused and says. "Uh...gems, fruits and vegetables of course. Why?"
I shake my head and sigh. "No wonder he is so small. He should be at least as tall as you by now. He is malnourished. Ora in other words: He. Needs. Meat."
Twilight looks shocked as does Spike and my guards. I shrug and go sit down and wait for them to snap out of it.
"WHAT?!" Twilight yells and turns to me and looks very worried.
"Does that mean I've been neglecting Spike? How much meat does he need? How can I cook it without getting sick myself?" She asks quickly I hold up a hand and say.
"I can teach him how to cook meat and all you need to do is get enough meat for two dragons till I can move out because if you keep starving him of meat he will stay that size forever only growing under bad situations."
I pick up a book and start reading while she thinks on what I said and I think I saw Spike looking at me with respect. 'History of Equestria. I'll need to know this stuff.'
I read halfway through the book before Twilight's friends even Rainbow Dash. Soon Twilight clears her throat I look up and close the book and say. "Ok I'm guessing these are your friends. My name is Deltorix I don't want to fight or hurt anyone but I will defend myself. " I glare at Rainbow Dash who looks away sheepishly.
Twilight clears her throat and says. "Well yes, these are my friends, Rarity." She points to the white unicorn with a purple curled mane and three diamonds as a cutie mark who bowed slightly.
Rarity Belle
Level: 30
Title: Element of Generosity
"Greetings darling I am the owner of Carousel Boutique; Where Everything is Chic, Unique and Magnifique. I must say your scales are quite beautiful." Rarity says as she looks me over.
I smirk and nod. "Thank you miss Rarity, I may see if there is anything I'd like later."
Twilight moves to her next friend. “This is Applejack." She shows a orange earth pony with a brown Stetson on her head and blond ponytail style mane who also has three red apples as a cutie mark.
Applejack
Level: 30
Title: Element of Honesty
"Howdy there pardner. Me and my family run Sweet Apple Acres, the best apples in all of Equestria. Now Ah'm willin' ta give ya a chance, but if ya hurt mah friends, Ah'll buck ya right out of Equestria." She looked at me with a hard stare.
I nod and say. "As I said I don't have any plans to hurt anypony, but feel free to keep a eye on me. I don't mind and I have just a few things I want to keep to myself."
They look at me questionably but Twilight moves onto Rainbow Dash. "This is Rainbow-"
She is cut off by Rainbow who steps forward and glares at me." I'm Rainbow Dash; fastest flier in all of Equestria and you better watch yourself. I don't trust you and I don't know how you got those guards to have me arrested but it won't happen again!"
Everypony looking at her with shock then to me with upset faces, but I shrug and say. "Just don't break the law and they won't arrest you miss Dash. You attacked me for no reason other then I am different and from were I'm from; that would be racist but I forgive you as you want to protect your friends."
Again they all look stunned but Twilight shakes her head and points to where a pink earth pony was and says." And this is... Where did she go?"
I blink and suddenly all I see is light blue eyes and then the pony they belong to speaks. "HimynameisPinkiePiedoyoulikeparty's?Doyoueatgemstoo?What'syourfavoritekindofcake?Doyoulikecupcakes?!Whodoesn'tlovecupcakes?doyou-" she is stopped as Twilight grabs her with her magic and pulls her back and laughs nervously.
Pinkamina Diane Pie aka Pinkie Pie
Level: ???
Title: Element of Laughter
I chuckle and smile. "Hello to you too Pinkie Pie, I am sorry but I didn't catch all that but, yes I like small parties and I do eat gems and I do like cupcakes."
They smile a little and twilight says. "And this is Fluttershy."
I hear a "eep" and look behind Applejack and see a butter yellow Pegasus with long pink mane and tail with three butterflies as a cutie mark, shaking completely terrified.
Fluttershy
Level: 27
Title: Element of Kindness
I sigh. "It's ok miss Fluttershy. I can guess by your name that you are very shy and me being a dragon probably isn't helping, but I will ask that you give fish to Twilight at least once a week. And I'll try to keep my distance from you until you feel more comfortable around me."
Fluttershy looks at me for a few seconds before hiding behind her mane and squeaking something and I look at twilight. "Hey Twilight I'm thinking of going to the old castle to do some training do I need a key for this place if I get back and your asleep?"
Twilight Sparkle
Level: ???
Title: Element of Magic
Twilight shakes her head and smiles. “Don’t worry I'll be up late studying but can I go with you and watch you training?"
I shake my head and sigh. “Sorry twilight not yet. I need to keep my abilities secret for now only my guards will see what I'm doing."
I put the book down and stand up and walk past Twilight and her friends while my guards follow me. I flap my wings and fly over the Everfree Forest then smile and point at the castle when I see it and land in the old courtyard and smile.
"Ok now the fastest way to show my powers to others is to make a party so let me set one up." They look a little confused but don't stop me.
"Make party name training crew." a new screen pops up saying I made the party I smile and then say. "Invite Bronze Shield, Silver Shield, Crimson Moon and Night Lilly to party training crew."
I see all four of them jump back slightly and I chuckle and say. "That is a invite. Push yes and say stats and you'll see how my power works but on you."
While they explore the screens I watch and explain. "HP stands for Hit Points or Health Points, MP stands for Magic Points, the individual stats show your Strength, Dexterity, Vitality, Intelligence, Wisdom and Luck."
I smirk and look over at the guards and say. "Ok now I am gonna show you all a few skills by fighting zombies."
Crimson looks at me like I said I want to kill Luna. “What do you mean? You can make monsters at any time?"
"Well yes and no. They are stuck in the instant dungeon which are like small pocket realities and they will attack anyone even me, now if you want I can try to each all you to make and escape them if you all want." They look at me then each other and talk it over then they nod to me.
Silver walks up and says. "As the unicorn of the group I'll have to learn it so I can use it on everypony."
I look at him confused. "what do you mean? I'm not a unicorn. Anyone can use this skill not just unicorns. Now it helps when you have a limb held out. Close your eyes and focus your magic into that limb and push it out in every direction." They try to do as I watch them and then one by one they disappear I smirk and use I.D. Create and pop up with them again.
"Good work every-" I am cut off as a screen pops up and I grin as I read it.
New Skill Created
New skill teach (active)
Info: teach let's the user teach any skill that the user knows to others.
"Sorry just got a new skill, anyway now then I'm gonna check my stats then we can start fighting zombies." I say to them they look around and their ears flop around confused at the lack of sound.
I look away from them and say. "Stats." Making my stat screen pop up.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 9
Next level: 85%
HP: 800/800
MP: 800/900
STR: 7
DEX: 7
VIT: 8
INT: 9
WIS: 8
LUC: 7
Points: 0
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits: 400
Info: Deltorix has started his new life and began training with his new powers.
I smirk and nod and say. "Skills."
Skills
Gamer's Mind: level max (passive)
Gamer’s Body: level max (passive)
Size Control: level max(passive)
Guitar playing: level 10 (active)
Flame breath: level 2 (passive)
Flight: level 4 (passive)
Bind: level 1(active)
Observe: level 1 (active)
I.D. Create: level 5 (active)
I.D. Escape: level 5 (active)
Claws of fury: level 2(active)
Sinister Slam: level 2(active)
Slice and Dice: level 2(active)
Meditate: level 1(active)
Teach: level ---(active)
"Hmmm." I tap on the flight skill making a new smaller screen pop up giving me more information on that skill.
Flight (passive): this skill let's the user fly top speed 40 miles per hour and top height 3,000 feet.
Next level: 58.9%
"Hmm that's good I guess." I look back at the ponies and say." So who wants to fight zombies?"
They look at each other then back to me and nod. “Good now a few rules to start. First rule stay together till you can kill the monsters in one hit. Second rule collect everything they drop and finally I get all the bits they drop I don't mind sharing everything else but the bits are mine. Now this isn't because I'm greedy it's because these bits are fake and will only cause problems in Equestria but I can use them using my powers everyone alright with these rules."
Crimson glares and me and says. “You can make fake bits? You could destabilize Equestria!"
I sigh and nod. “I could yes but that's why I told you to give me the bits I can use them in a store. Part of my powers you can take one, mark it and send it to Celestia so she can keep a eye out for them."
Silver writes down everything I say and I nod and point at Bronze.
“Bronze; go up and get a cloud and have your brother use a cloud walking spell on himself then we will go into the dungeon and he will stay out of the way while the rest of us fight the zombies and everyone once we kill about 50 a huge one will show up so be ready."
They look at each other then bronze steps up and says. "What do you mean a huge zombie will appear?"
Lilly gulps and looks nervous. "Well we be safe?"
Silver looks at his notes then puts them away and uses his magic on himself as Crimson goes and gets a cloud for him. "Yes we will be fine just follow the rules and when the huge zombie shows up hit it as hard as you can on the head."
We get together and hold onto each other and I bring us into a zombie I.D and we have to fly up as there are zombies all around us I use my fire breath on some and use my claws focusing on killing zombies I kill about 28 zombies leveling up twice before I land and pant.
-100 damage taken
One zombie hits me from behind knocking me down I turn to look and growl at it as it snarls at me ready to attack I use observe on the zombie while also taking a deep breath to roast it.
zombie pony [earth]
Level: 10
zombie pony [earth]
Level: 10
HP: 1000
MP: 100
This is a zombie pony that is a earth pony, as a earth pony this zombie is physically stronger and faster then it's other variants but it is still a zombie.
I breath my fire right on it burning it fast pumping more MP into my attack soon the zombie dies but I'm out of MP. "Ok I think that was the last one before the boss. Leave that one alone." I point at a slow moving zombie pony. “Collect everything you can and come to me!" I start quickly gather up bits, potions, and a skill book and put it all in my inventory as the others come to me carrying more stuff I nod and take it all into my inventory and hold onto them. "I.D. Escape." We all pop back into normal space and I sit down and sigh checking my stats.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 11
Next level: 30%
HP: 700/800
MP: 0/900
STR: 7
DEX: 7
VIT: 8
INT: 9
WIS: 8
LUC: 7
Points: 10
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits:10500
I chuckle softly and add my points to my stats and smile at my guards.
Titles: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 11
Next level: 30%
HP: 700/900
MP: 0/1000
STR: 10
DEX: 9
VIT: 9
INT: 10
WIS: 9
LUC: 9
Points: 0
Real Bits:0
Loot Bits:10500
"So want to split up the spoils of war?" I grin and open my inventory and pull out 15 health potions, 30 zombie teeth, 3 soul gems and my skill books.
The ponies look at everything and shy away from the teeth and split the potions up between themselves and me and I take the books back and they give everything else to me. I nod and smile then say. "Thanks everyone how about we do this once a day and keep working at it till we can all take on the zombies by ourselves?" After a moment to think about the offer; they smile and nod before we return to Golden Oak Library.
Once we land I look at them and ask. "So where will you all sleep?"
The night guards walk forward and stand by the library doors. “We are going to watch you for the night and the day guards will stay at the motel." Crimson says.
I nod and smile waving to them as I go inside and look around and see Twilight studying while Spike is asleep in his little basket so I smile and go up to the bathroom and pull out my two skill books and check them.
New Skill Book.
Skill Life Drain
This skill drains the life points from the target and adds them to the player.
Would you like to learn this skill?
Yes? No?
New Skill Book.
Skill Magic Arrow
This skill let's the player fire arrows maid of magic at any target.
Magic Arrow costs 10 MP per arrow and fires up to 3 arrows every per minute.
Would you like to learn this skill?
Yes? No?
I tap yes on both and both books are turned into energy and flow into me and I learn the skills I smirk and look myself in the mirror and think to myself. ‘I need to get stronger faster...I'll become a Displaced.' I reach out a window and rip off a branch and start whittling it down into the shape of a Xbox One controller and then I close my eyes and pump my magic into it and then say. "I am Deltorix the gamer. If you seek a friend, ally, or simply wish to trade skills simply say 'Send Invite' and I may come. What you want to do with the skills I teach will determine what skills I will teach you."
I then toss the wooden controller up and I'm pleasantly surprised to see a void portal open and take the token and then another falls back into my hand I grin then a screen pops up.
New Title Unlocked: Displaced
Congratulations you have joined the ranks of the Displaced.
Now your token is out in the multiverse and you can be summoned by anyone and now tokens will appear in your world.
I chuckle and say. "Ok that worked now to go downstairs and read some." I leave the bathroom smiling and go back to reading history of Equestria.
After I finish the book I look over to see Twilight asleep with her head on a book I smirk and chuckle and let her sleep and quietly say. “Store." And a screen opens up I look through then get a idea and grin and look for a skill and smile when I find it and it's only 5,000 Bits so I buy it as well as a Xbox One, TV and some games.
I then open my inventory seeing everything I just bought and take out the skill book and grin as a screen pops up.
New Skill Book
Skill Shadow Clone Jutsu
This skill let's the player make a independent copy of themselves with 1 HP. Once the clone is beaten all memories go back to the player.
To use this skill a Minimum of 100 chakra per clone, limited to a max of 1 clone.
All experience the clone gets is put into the shadow clone skill.
Do you wish to learn this skill?
Yes? No?
I tap yes and the book turns to energy and flows into me and then a new screen pops up and after reading it I swipe it away.
New energy unlocked
You now can use all chakra skills. Chakra is determined by DEX and has a replenish rate of 1% per minute for every 10 points in strength.
I nod to myself then go into a empty I.D. Then make a shadow clone he salutes and goes into a zombie I.D. Then I go back to normal space and look around the library for spells.
I find a few books and a few pop up as skill books but I push no on them as I don't own these books but I do write down their names I read for most of the night and just before sunrise I flinch as I get the memories of the shadow clone and blink then check my stats and skills.
Title: The Gamer
Name: Deltorix
Occupation: N/A
Level: 11
Next level: 30%
HP: 900/900
MP: 1000/1000
CHA(CHAKRA): 890/900
STR: 10
DEX: 9
VIT: 9
INT: 10
WIS: 9
LUC: 9
Points: 0
Real Bits: 0
Loot Bits:16,000
Skills
Gamer's Mind: level max (passive)
Gamer’s Body: level max (passive)
Size Control: level max (passive)
Guitar playing: level 10 (active)
Flame Breath: level 3 (passive)
Flight: level 4 (passive)
Bind: level 1(active)
Observe: level 1 (active)
I.D. Create: level 5 (active)
I.D. Escape: level 5 (active)
Claws of Fury: level 3(active)
Sinister Slam: level 3(active)
Slice and Dice: level 3(active)
Meditate: level 1(active)
Teach: level 1(active)
Life Drain: level 1(active)
Magic Arrow: level 1(active)
Shadow Clone Jutsu: level 5 (active)
I smile and start chucking then write a note for Twilight and put it on her table then go outside stretch and start jogging around Ponyville. I jog for a few hours around all of Ponyville. A few ponies that are up early see me and shy away from me I'm surprised to get a pop up.
Due to specific actions you have earned 1 point in STR.
I chuckle and start walking back to the library and watch as the ponies start setting up the market place and pegasi moving clouds around then I look forward and see a dark pink mare walking up with a brown stallion she looks mad.
Spoiled Rich level:20
Title: spoiled house wife
Filthy Rich level:???
Title: Business stallion
I stop and they stop in front of me then the pink mare says. "You there, dragon; what are you doing in my town? I'll have you know that we do not allow non ponies in my town so leave before we fall the guards."
I stand there calmly but my tail is flicking around while she is talking I wait till she is done then I say in a sarcastic and rude way. "Well sorry but I have to stay in town as I was ordered by Princess Celestia herself to stay here so if you wish to have me arrested please go see the Princess and tell her all about my crimes."
Before she can say anything I look at the stallion and say. "Nice to meet you sir I do hope we can be friends." Then I walk around them and go to the library ignoring the pink mare's yelling.
As I get close to the library Crimson and Lilly run up to me and Crimson says. "There you are! Where were you? What were you doing?"
Lilly pants a little and then says. "Twilight woke up after Spike got a letter from Princess Celestia, something about you scaring the ponies of Ponyville and threatening ponies."
I sigh and put a hand on my face. "You got to be kidding...fine let's deal with this. I'll explain what all I did once we are back in the library." So the three of us walk to the library and I see Twilight panicking I sigh and poke Lilly and gesture her to go help Twilight I then sit down.
Once everyone is calmed down I tell then what I was doing. "I was jogging around Ponyville keeping my distance from most ponies then after a few hours I start walking back then meet this pink mare and brown stallion and the mare was not nice telling me to leave just because I'm not a pony so I told her in a rude way that it was the Princess's idea to move here then I come here."
As I am telling my side Twilight writes down everything I say even asking me to tell her exactly what I said to I told her and then once she is finished she asks spike to send it but before he can I ask. “Actually Spike, Twilight; I never learned letter magic think you can copy the letter and let me try to send it?"
They look at each other then shrug and Twilight adds a little more at the bottom of the note then makes a copy and gives one to me then Spike tells me how to do it then I take a breath and focus my magic into my throat and breath out a small amount of fire onto the letter while thinking of Celestia and surprisingly it works turning to ash then flies off to Canterlot and I get a new skill screen.
New Skill Learned
Skill Dragon Mail(active)
By burning a letter while thinking of someone the ashes of the letter will go to them and reform into the original letter.
Dragon Mail is a natural ability of [Dragon] so this skill needed no MP
I smile and we wait a little before I feel something in my chest I start coughing then let out a burp that makes ash form and that ash turns into a letter with Celestia's seal I try to catch it but Twilight catches it in her magic first and pulls it to her and reads it then floats it over to me and I read it and roll my eyes.
Dear faithful student;
I do thank you for checking on Deltorix, I will have to double check Misses Spoiled Rich's report and have my guards ask around town.
P.S. To Deltorix
I’m surprised you haven't learned dragon mail magic before now but congratulations on doing it on your first try.
"Well that's settled I think once my day guards get here I'll go see if I can get a ho so I can make some bits." Crimson gives me a odd look after I say that then both Crimson and Lilly yawn the I say." Twilight that spell you used to copy the letter where is that spell I'd like to look at it."
She smiles and uses her magic to pull a book from a shelf then gives it to me I open it and read it while I wait once I find it I study the spell and try to memorize it.
I look around then put the book back and stretch as Silver and Bronze Shield come inside I wave at them and we leave for town hall I ask them. "So who thinks there won't be any jobs available when I get there?"
Silver scoffs. "I think your being dramatic. Ponies may be a bit skittish but we wouldn't go that far to somepony that didn't do anything."
We get in and I ask Bronze to go in and check if there are jobs before I go in. We wait and after a few minutes he comes back and nods I smile and go inside and the receptionist is obviously terrified of me the moment I come into her view I sigh and say. "Hello I'm hoping to get a job are there any places that want or need help?"
She whimpers and shakes her head and I sigh and nod. “Thank you ma'am have a nice day." I then turn and leave once outside I cross my arms and think then snap my fingers.
"Let's go to Sweet Apple Acres. A farm can always use more farm hands." I flap my wings and take off flying to Applejacks farm and look for her once I see her I land with bronze landing a few seconds later.
"Hi, there sugarcube, what brings ya to mah farm?" She asked as she wiped her forehead.
"Well, I'm hoping to get a job, maybe doing repairs?" I asked hopefully and a nervous smile crossed my face.
"Sorry sugarcube, we can't just afford ta hire anypony off the street, Ah wish we could help ya." I nod at her and give a small smile.
"I understand Applejack thanks for being honest good luck with the farm if you need my help just ask." I wave as I take off and think to myself for a while.
"What are you planning to try next?" Bronze asks me as we fly I look around then see Rarity heading towards a flat dirt land area I land near her and say.
"Hello miss Rarity do you need any help? You seem to be going into diamond dog territory." I say as I look at her wagon.
She smiles and bats her eyes. "Oh thank you darling your help would be lovely please be a dear and pull my wagon for me?"
I chuckle and nod then look at bronze." Hey Bronze go get Silver while I help miss Rarity." He salutes and flies off then I grab the wagon and start pulling it as Rarity leads me to the Gem fields.
As we walk I look around using observe on everything trying to level it up then Rarity asks. "So darling what brings you out this far if I may ask?"
I smile and say. "Well I was looking for a job but there aren't any jobs then I tried a
Applejack but she doesn't have anything jobs either." I shrug and keep a smile.
Rarity looks back at me biting her them then looks forward. "Maybe I can find a job for you darling but first I need some more gems for my new designs. Our destination is just ahead."
We continue walking then Bronze and Silver catch up not long after we get to the gem field. Rarity starts looking for gems but after we find the first bunch of gems I could smell something bad I look around and see small differences in the dirt my eyes widen as I see movement near Rarity I quickly grab her tail and pull her just as a hole opens up and I hear growling.
"Silver, Bronze keep Rarity safe!" I then watch as three diamond dogs come out of the ground and the shortest one comes up to me and points to Rarity.
"You give ponies to us's and we's not hurt dragon too bad's!" I look back at Rarity and she looks nervous but also annoyed then I look back to the dogs.
"Rarity please close your eyes and cover your ears I won't be solving this the pony way." I end that statement with a deep growl as I start making a plan stretching my claws.
The diamond dogs start laughing and the biggest lifts up a big club. "You want fight we smash weak dragon and take pony slaves." I growl at them then run up to the biggest dog as he swings the club down I move to the side enough he misses me but I can keep going then I grab his face and with my momentum push him over onto his back slamming his head on to the ground hard enough to crack the ground.
I hear Rarity gasp but I'm focused on the other dogs they growl at me and they both rush me. I jump over the short one and slice the last one’s face then while he is blinded I spin around and knock him down with my tail then grab the small one and lift him up growling with fire coming from my mouth as I pull him up to my face. "Now listen here you mutt you and your pack are to never hurt anyone ever again or I'll be the least of your problems got it?!"
He whimpers and nods. "Yes yes anything strong dragon says!" I scoff and drop him and cross my arms snorting smoke.
"Good now get your friends and leave!" He now sans quickly grabs his friends and runs away. I then look at Rarity and my guards. Rarity seems scared and my two guards seem nervous I sigh and look away. "Go ahead say what's on your minds."
Rarity bites her lip then says. "Well darling you did warn me somewhat and these diamond dogs aren't exactly friendly to ponies....Thank you Deltorix if it wasn't for you all of us would be Celestia knows where."
Silver shield steps forward and gulps." We will have to report this to the Princess sir I hope you understand." I know and sigh then we spend a few more minutes digging up enough gems to fill Rarity's cart then we take it back to town.
"I can take it from here darling thank you again for your help." Rarity says with a smile and I give her a smile and go back to the library and look around not seeing Twilight or Spike I decide to read.
Just as I'm about to start reading Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone before suddenly a screen pops up I gasp and gulp and look at Silver and Bronze. "Hey I have to go I'll explain everything later but I'm in a rush sorry." Before they can say anything I look back at the screen and push the yes button.
You have been invited by [unknown displaced] would you like to go?
Yes? No?
After pushing yes a huge screen that even my guards can see as they jump back opens up with a image of a door on it that turns into a real three-dimensional door I get up and open it and walk through the door closing and the screen disappears by shattering into pixels.
Silver and Bronze look at where I was then to each other Bronze being the one that brakes the silence. "Well....buck..."
I am interested what is going to happen now.
Immediately, I'm caught off guard by your description.
So, self-insert, a horrifically generic short summary that reads like one of some of the worst stories from FIMFiction's early days. Yeah, not looking too good so far.
Well, at least this'll be unintentionally hilarious.
Yes, the vast majority of people here are very well acquainted with the function of italics. Now, onto the actual story.
...Okay, since you left me with 0 details of this routine, I'm going to fill in the blank and say that it involves spanking your asshole with a bamboo rod.
Sometimes, I wake up as Lindsay Lohan; thankfully, such is not the case today.
If I had a nickel for every time I said this aloud...
And much like his favorite stories, this one showcases a lack of command of the English language.
I know that this is supposed be sad, but I frankly find it hilarious that this chapter is 10k+ words long and you could only be bothered to give the readers less than two massively rushed paragraphs of his "life" before his displacement.
Wow, he cares so much more about becoming a Mary Sue than the friends and family he's about to leave behind. Swell guy.
*unrolls CVS receipt*
Wow, you really seemed prepared for this...
No, Timothy, you're only allowed to get one POV from the toy store.
Well, now I see where the chapter length comes from...
*gasp* No way, it's the same as your own username!
Good thing he knows how to use those wings he just got that he's never had nor used as a human (yeah, I glanced over the whole "flight is natural to a dragon" thing in your stats, but then again, you're a human who's been a dragon for all of two minutes while every other dragon has been born and lived their lives as dragons, so I'm still calling BS).
I give it two chapters before they bone.
God, trying to sift through these stats and find the actual story is making my eyes bleed.
And there's like no build up to anything. Like literally, you're sitting down with Ember one paragraph and literally one sentence later, you're fighting zombies in some random location.
Yeah, I doubt someone like Ember would just become friends with some random dragon after several barely conversations and a race I doubt she'd even really be into with someone she's known for all of five minutes.
Yeah, this is a chore to read.
9961266
This was hilarious
There's a Self-Insert tag, you know.
There's nothing else I can really add that Moviemaster didn't already tear into, but OC =/= Self-Insert.
For someone who doesn't write; I'd like to say this wasn't too bad for a first attempt
This is miserably bad. Borders on the verge of hilariously bad. Just... stop. Learn how to pace, learn basic grammar, learn how to write a good, compelling character, and don't make a gamer-falls-into-Equestria story. They're all bad and have been done before. Show what you can being to the table that's new.
May I know how you have done the stats? I never understood how people done the vertical lines as such. A reply with the code you use would be even better. Thanks for reading the comment.
I don't really care but I'm reading this to waste time for new chapters of other fanfics.
Don't get me wrong i like this story but it needs more.
I think you need to read other gamer fanfics and use that as a guide😁😁😁😁😁😁
9961804 Nothing too complex.
The lines are how quotes appear on stories now, (|quote||/quote|) and then he used a centered-indentation (|center||/center|) and used the color wheel to change the text color(|color=#6aaadd||/color|).
(Excluding the brackets so it doesn’t activate the code and I can show you what it’s supposed to look like)
9962952
The author was kind enough to show me trick already. Still, thanks for wanting to help
9963084 Ah, must’ve PMed you.
9963137
Yep
Alright, I'm gonna come out and say it, who the heck is the gamer? Is it a new anime or something, because it feels like there's been a lot of fanfics revolving around someone having that person's powers recently. Also, why do people want gamer powers? Is there an end goal for the leveling system that allows the person to get like three wishes if they beat the game of life or something, or is there no point in leveling besides getting stronger? I'm genuinely curious as to why this is happening.
9963403
Look up The Gamer on webtoon, it's a comic
9963407
Thank you.
9963403
Nope, he just comes from a webcomic called “the gamer” there is no real goal except to live a life in the abbyss.
9963608
it is a nifty concept, but I believe there hasn't been any derivative yet.
on here, is mostly the same thing, but "with ponez" or in equestria
elswhere not even that. it is litterally the same thing as the original, but with less korean reference.
on the story itself: far too many data charts. it is not a comic, is a written story, we do not need to have big interruption every few lines
the charather ones are pretty intrusive, especially the
"this is my chart untill the battle"
but now I got a single point
"so this is my new complete stats"
you cold cut wasted space by having one chart at the top, and one at the bottom, with the changes only being talked about and not actually shown
the POV changes a bit too heavily handed. personally, I would suggest to have the first person for the protagonist, and a third person for every other
9962619
To be real, I was doing the same until I found this story pretty good, and that's saying something as I don't really like most 'The gamer' fanfictions on here that I have seen
"Let's you make instant dungeons"
What? He didn't do anything??
9963407
Hello fellow displaced writer!
I really like the story, keep up the good work.
Can’t wait for chapter two.
UwU, I’m the uwuneitor I leave UwUs in every gamer fic
UwU
9961316
Why the fuck don't people do this for my stories?
Oh, your character Prince Auryn? He's just you turned into a foal alicorn gary stu with psychic powers. He wanted to be a unicorn but there was an accident. Oh, and in some stories he hates the princesses because they won't leave him alone; he just wants to live a quiet life without all that fate and destiny crap. Oh, and when he was human his parents tried to sell him to the Government because of his psychic powers; due to said powers he nearly killed said parents in an accident. So there's that oh-so-tragic back story. Oh, and he's immortal, too, due to exposure to huge amounts of psychic energy over time; for every twenty normal years he ages only one year -- also he had to train with his powers to get as good as he is; over 75 years worth of training, a lifetime, no special treatment but nah, he's just a gary stu who had everything given to him, yep, nothing to see here.
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
9977294
It will probably be some time before chapter two, Deltorix probably has to work on the stats, monster, new characters, skills, and much more.
I’m very interested in this please continue
Looking forward to the next chapter.
this is cool a dragon gamer displaced. I will follow for more
9971591
its a pain when people only see the powers, and not the work needed to master them.
9961266
For some reason, I get the feeling that your summary is probably way more entertaining than the actual story. So thanks for providing it. ;]
Oh, you did muck one thing up - he did ask for basic flight and fire-breath knowledge before getting to Equestria, and it got approved. So yeah, with that in there he basically had flight capability the millisecond he popped up.
9971591
For the record, Sues/Stu-s can be hella entertaining, but they have to be used right. For some, that's deconstruction (there's that little story here that ends its opener with "Help me, I'm a Gary Stu." (or something like that)). For others, it's comedy (turning away unwanted attention and/or advances, for instance). Going "over 9000" on shit, on a wild rampage of infinite escalation to just rank up the awesome to DBZ levels is also acceptable. ;] Sorta 'Duke Nukem' but with actual funny content and not as much obnoxious shit.
Hay man when are you going to to Mack your next chapter?
Plan on continuing this?
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
9961266
Very enjoyable to read, 10/10.
10100258 You must be new to Displaced stories.
Does anyone know with who crossover is?
I think some of my brain cells died from reading this.
HE JUST REVEALS HIS ACE IN THE HOLE?!!! IS HE A MORON!!!!!!
Just started reading, but already had to drop a comment. The start is really bumpy. The girl being pushed out of the way is quite cliche in itself, but the delivery didn't help. You forced it to be over with in a short paragraph, making it feel extremely rushed. And the the convenience of a reward and then choosing a world and powers is quite baffling. My eyebrows couldn't stop furrowing.
It might have been better to skip the human life start here as you didn't have anything planned with it. You could have started in a void and a voice, lamenting your character's demise. Could be a story about trying to save a child from drowning (for varieties sake). Maybe failing at it and feeling regret and guilt, seeking more power. A power this strange mysterious being could grant you. Maybe asking for a price. Maybe taking you in her/his service and demanding to be repaid at a later date.
You know, something with more depth and possible implications for the future.
10206864
The Gamer I think.
https://www.webtoons.com/en/action/the-gamer/list?title_no=88
Self insert or not, just have reasonable fun
Looking forward to see what i found here
Very spoiled start, but don't you want to make it at least a bit more of a Challange? Or giving him actualy a challange at all? You don't have to make it as hardcore like me where the MC is wanted dead by most folks for the reward the death will bring of the MC. From day one...
Than again this is chapter 1 and the party has just begone
camo.fimfiction.net/HGKOVNTrPh_dQIegq-4XQTTfq37sBPSPcGN3_7ZAMFg?url=https%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2014%2F7%2F10%2F671941.gif
Still the Ork said you can't be a god, why are you one anyway?
May i recommend to name the stats advantage's?
I have named mine for instance in Selene the Changeling Empress, a deathmatch last a life long.
You can add and remove it later, thought to mention it since many story like to mention the actual worth of the individual Stat.
Real and Loot seperate... Planning to introducing a new Currency?
You'r Guy has basicly everything from the start... Where is the challange? If you play a character give them potencial not two handfull of cheats
You'r story describtions might need some attention. Grammatic mistakes on the introduction is a turn of for many readers... Faust knows how many are crying at mine in the chapters
Might i advice you to google:
https://www.prequeladventure.com
PREQUEL – The adventures of Katia Managan
Thats how one be anything but a Gary Stu
What did the undead did to you for being so cruel to them? Necromancer fan
Holy Shit... You'r character plays on very easy with cheats... Might want not to start as God Emperor of the Universe in Chapter 1...
Even 'One Punch man' has things to worry about
You forget to give you'r Main Character Infinite Respawns even he is already a God Emperor from day one
There are seriouse problems to see who speaks what... We have two characters and i don't know who win the race... Why is it important?
MC wins? Hes a cheating Prick.
Ember wins? Awww, the God Emperor let her win
Holy Shit... Nevermind you'r MC isn't a God Emperor he is the master of the universe with cheats thst still need to be invented
Why didn't you'r MC become Celestias lover from day one? You accidently skipped that checkmark in master of the universe...
Why isn't Paperwork a thing the MC has to go trough?
I know you'r Deltorix owns the Universe but... How did he not at least have to snap his finger to warp reality? That the least effort Discord needs to do for him to change reality...
Why is Deltorix lying... Applejack will not like it...
Why is you'r Deltorix not loved by everyone? You forget to cheat that to
Did Deltorix just ask a Guard to be a traitor to his Nations leader and he accepted? Holy shit... You better don't leave this prick alive after you otherthrow Celestia after snezzing in the opposent direction...
Deltorix is really unkind, he could make the Alicorns and he just offers them a powerboost. Lying again. If they are his equal they be co-rulers of the universe...
Ok... That first meeting with Rainbowdash was very entertaining 👍
Why training? He can spawn underpowered Zombies for waaay overrewarded loot and exp...
That makes no sence
What you did for Spike was great
How did Rainbowdash get out of Investigation so fast?
Sooo... When do Deltorix become friends to everyone by default?
Deltorix just keeps lying... Twilight will be his first Concubine i guess?
Deltorix can't teach 'Become Alicorn skill' just yet?
Moral of the story Chapter 1. Suicide fia saving the opposent gender makes you a god. Time to go to war
You just killed Equestrias economy by getting massiv amounts of a material. The gold worth will drop to less than a singel toilet paper strip...
O god... A displaced story about a Dragon that owns the universe from chapter one... I give you that.
It's unique...
10206864
Himself, noone want the owner of the universe on very easy with all cheats enabled near their story ...
10133483
What part? I'm curriouse what is fun playing on very easy with all cheats enabled?
10048906
Guess he never learned being the universes owner on cheats kills the development part...
9961194
He already own anything. There is no progression
Yep... First story i read where the MC own basicly the universe from Chapter 1 and expected everyone to be hyped
9961433
What was good about it? The Rainbowdash and Spike part was nice but the rest?
9961507
There not all bad, but this one is indeed... Very... Bad...
9971591
Perfect overview of Chapter one. Impressive 👏
Ok, one chapter in and holy hell dude chill your on a cliché speedrun pick a plot and a pov and stick to it my dude, you stuffed like 7 chapters worth of content into 1 chapter and rushed all of it.
"Did I ever tell you, the definition, of insanity?" - Vaas
There is... So much wrong with this... Like... It's just not good, at all... I can't even give constructive criticism as the very story itself is just bad... I'm sorry, but please, take some creative writing classes, I guess...
I swear I just got whiplash from how fast it went from smashing an alarm clock, to doing a whole routine, to staring at a mirror lol
So Ima guess this is setting me up for how fast paced the general story will be? His sacrifice didn't seem at all meaningful, and I'm only a minute into the chapter. Imo this one paragraph should be separated into a few ones, to better describe the scene, what's happening, and his feelings; otherwise it comes off as dismissive of how impactful this event is. Not being disrespectful here, just offering some advice.
Mysterious godly figure is so proud the third paragraph has so much happen in so few words.
Doesn't even need a D&D character sheet, he's been waiting for this very moment to sperg to get every possible thing he ever wanted in a video game character.
Good lord I can't get myself to quote the gamer bits, it's tedious but impressive. That being said, I'm getting the impression the main character isn't going to have any genuine weaknesses. Also, this chapter is "edited" but I wonder how much has actually changed from the original draft, given that (most of) the story thus far has been completely bare bones.
This chapter is over 3 years old though, so I actually wonder how far your writing has gotten since 2019.
Looking over the comments, you probably won't read this or care, but for the love of everything that's holy... Please develop an actual story instead of doing an any % speedrun to fit as much "saint" garbage into the main character as possible before the main event. There's literally something called a draft, and this so far passes as a draft, not a chapter with actual love and care put into it.