You are no acceptation.

I think the word you wanted here is exception.

nice work. looking forward to the next one.

9585008
There, should be fixed now

9585090
Thanks ^^

9585668
Splendid.

9643120
yeah that part took a bit of a rework but Im glad you like the new ending ^^

I have yet to see a decent experimental operation fan fictions. They usually are some villain does it because of revenge, or it looks like it work only to have the body to be found dead. It never ends good and these are always rushed. So I’m highly critical of these stories but since it has a fair rating I’m giving it a chance

9650475
well I hope to keep it on the good side for you and everyone. Im always up for suggestions on how to improve my stories even though i just do this for fun and dont take my writing super serious unlike my art or videos. So heres hoping youll like chapter 4 whenever I decide to work on it

9651314
The other flaw is they they start and then don’t update for 2-7 years. That’s why I don’t upload anything less I have 65% of the story done or more

9651487
worst Ive done is not update a story for a year due to my rl interfering. And I was planning on writing this story fully before releasing it, but I got impatient and uploaded it. Im planning to do that with my next set of stories once i finish everything else I have going. I just get distracted from typing easily and end up getting buried in other projects that it gets to the point I sometimes cant write for months...

9651513
One question will Sunset be able to cross the portal now she’s attached to another person?

Here is the list of the common flaws for these stories which make them the hardest two write:

1 rushing.
2 not telling from both prepectives( most just do one and then who cares about the other they are one so only one matters. But they never ever use both which they should because each of them have their own strength, flaws and personality quirks) ( if you can manage the same chapter twice like one from sunset and the other from Twilight and keep doing it that’s a way to keep my interest because it has NEVER been DONE)

3 raw emotions. Most don’t let the story go in deep with raw emotions

4 massive time skips. Basically as it says. Like the story goes Cause, Accident, surgery aftermath skip 4 months anger, skip years. Completely fine skip death.

9672626
0. Yeah, Sunset can still go through the portal. I was considering having her show Twilight who she really is once they both show signs of magic and Twilight notices Sunset isnt freaking out as badly as she is.
1. well I guess you can say Im obviously not rushing right now.
2. well since I joined Sunset and Twilight together I cant do the "write the chapter twice from both perspectives" as itd be about 900% the same, but I can at least try and show off how they both feel about things, while maybe typing the same chapter from another characters perspective?
3. Ill admit Im not the greatest at Raw emotion, but I can give it a whirl.
4. if for SOME REASON I do a time skip, it will be cause Second Chance, the story, has been finished, and I want to do a sequel.(which I do, but I want to get this done first before even considering it.

9672830
Well the best start I have seen in a conjoined fic is that the author remembers that although their body is one but they have two different personalities.

Sunset and Sci-Twilight clash a lot.

Sunset Shimmer is a lot more active and driven to prove herself while Twilight is more medthatical and rashinal and sometime irrashinal and unrashinal.

So you can basically have two chapters about a fight and have two different openions.

Like sunset wants twilight to leave magic alone but isn’t telling her everything. And Twilight knows this energy is special and won’t give up on studying it and an accident happens and they both blame each other. Or if chapters are too much have the chapter flip from one point of view to another and just keep it going for a bit. You already missed a good opportunity to do it. Rainbow and sunset confrontation after the surgery.

Here is how I would have ended the chapter:

Sunset cry’s in her sister arm.

_________________________
Twilight POV

I think you should go, Twilight said angrily.

Rainbow leaves.

I know Sunset is upset but I need more information. I have to be careful not to upset her.

I’m sorry for breaking down like that.

Everyone is allowed to cry. It must have been bad.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Now I really have to know Twilight thought but I’m going have to be extra careful.

Then you can have the Rainbooms get the news from Rainbow

9673202
well... I personally dont think that would of worked out for the story... but hey, what do I know? I do this for fun and am honestly quite shocked alot of people are loving this story and wanting to see more

9673340
I notice that. A lot of people are fascinated by the conjoined story. In fact Futurama’s Put your head on my shoulders episode was one of the top rated episodes. But it is a very difficult story to write. Don’t be surprised when the likes plummet. A lot of those likes are probably writers who have attempted a story like this and got slammed who may or may not have a thing for making sure a story weren’t complete.

Just I warning because I attempted one for a Winx Club story and got slammed hard. Within the first 5 chapters it ended with 12 like and 2,000,00 dislike

9673340
This story is really good but I am having a hard time telling who is speaking. As some advice from a fellow writer you may want to put a space between two different people talking.

10619181
Sunset was pretty much on near death and the only way to remain alive was the joining