• Member Since 13th Mar, 2019
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago

red reaper


come to see death, come to see madness, come to see other side of a story

T

Chyrug Moonburn was a prouduct of a love between a royal guard and changeling. Months after his birth, Celestia and her guards took his father as a traitor and banished his mother to the hives, and the boy was sent to live in an orphanage. Years past and the basterd is coming back for revenge and he brings old enemies as his allies

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 52 )

Bro...do you even spellcheck?

9542872
No thank you i didn't notice

9543139
I don't know what you mean by that

9543140
Your long description, right here, the very first thing that readers will see when they click here, right in the middle of the first sentence.

Moonburn was a PROUDUCT.

You know illegitimatcy is spelt with a “TARD” not “Terd”, right?

Comment posted by red reaper deleted April 2nd
Comment posted by red reaper deleted April 2nd

9543165
Now fix it thank you very much

9543191
I literally facepalmed.

PRODUCT. PRODUCT. PRODUCT.

Who the hell told you Proudcut was the word to use here!?

" Tirek fall down, dead. Chrysalis and the other evil ponies laughed as Chyrug just stood there in silent and a look of sorrow landed upon his face.

Fall down....you mean fell fell down.

Also know this idiot going to regret working with the Changeling Queen, he just a tool for her to use. Once she done with him, she drop him like manure,
But hopefully not before making Celestia pay.

9573609
thank you and wait for who is who's tool

Seriously this is his plan....Man i hope after he gotten Celestia, he taken down, and banished to the deepest pits, as sure the Wendigos will be making every pony life much harder.
I can see them return if this is what i think he planning.

9577265
wow you love or hate the plan

9577274
I hate it honestly, he trying to start a all out race war. He has no idea of the consequences he may cause.
If he wins there be a massive civil war, how will changelings of any type be able to feed off love?
If he exposed, he'll give Changelings a even worst rep, and may start another war with changelings.

Last he putting innocents in danger for his revenge, i get a few will suffer inthe end, but he going for the whole Ruin Equestria method to get his revenge.

In the end he will never look back in the aftermath. As it not what you do to get your revenge, it when you look back and see what you done to get it.

9577289
You see Chyrug is blinded by rage he doesn't see the big picture all he care about is Celestia suffering

9577289
You see Chyrug is blinded by rage he doesn't see the big picture all he care about is Celestia suffering

9577299
Why did you repeat this? And yes I understand. But that what I mean in my comment, when it all over, he going to look back and see what he done, and have nopony but himself to blame.

9577306
don't worry it won't come this far i have an ideas for climax

Hope he realizes he being used, and used in a way that sicken him soon. i still want Celestia to pay of course, what she did was WRONG, she commited murder with what she done,
I want to see him throw in her face what a hypocrite she is, she allowed her sister to come, back let Discord a second chance after Tirek, and made peace with the reformed Changelings.

that the biggest knife wound there to him. I think she should be dethroned, and have Luna, Dadence, and Twilight take her place.

Ok if tht is really Scoota who was killed for real...then He beyond saving, he should be executed for agreeing with this plan. Rainbow herself will take him and break his body with a Sonic Rainboom.

9585695
actully i have already an idea for a sequel for this so i really want to added an original character for you and also he didn't kill Scootaloo Lightnig dust did

9585892
Yes he did. He the one who thought of this plan or working with this plan! So he part of it. No different then a guard ordered to kill someone. she did on their orders, he knew what was going to happen and didn't stop it.

9585979
Order of Chrysalis last chapter

Still blaming him, and hope he hangs with the others when it's over. also work on your grammar the last bit was cringey.

9589559
can you give me example for my bad grammer i am not very good on grammer at school

9589847
Aaahh never mind. sorry about that. I rechecked a and made a mistake. :twilightblush: I blame the last few fics read, the grammar is really bad on them and gotten affect by it so bad seeing it everywhere now....I'm become a bad grammar paranoid manic! :twilightoops:

9579050
Honestly, he's a hypocrite too unless he allows anyone who suffers because of his actions to take their vengeance on him. He's not special. He doesn't get to be the only one.

Doubt that will happen, though. Seems to me like one of those characters who are above real consequences for their actions.

Let me guess. He gets his revenge and everything happening to him after that is totally meaningless and he'll just shrug it off as the "moral" winner. And they'll probably call him a hero and praise him despite all he's done.

Really this is how it end....... I'm done.

9594511
The ending feels pretty rushed, and despite how injured he was, and everything the Apology she made was super half assed.
It's thanks to her all this happened, you left out how she let her sister come back and made peace with thorax, and he lost his father and mother. What ever happened to his mother did the Changeling Queen execute her, and and AND!!!!!

You left out how the others were punished! Lighting Dust murdered MURDERED a innocent young filly, and nothing is mentioned.

i bet your reply or answer will be they were blah blah off screen blah blah not important.
I don't know why but a lot of writers love to leave that type of stuff unfinished or say you just use your imagination excuse.
I'm serious! There a lot of fics that leave out important details like that, then when asked they give the same excuse. so unsatisfying ending
But last this is the most important chapter and it just rushed and has a terrible ending. Celestia is praised and held a heroine of doing NOTHING but screwing up everypony over.

Oh and Twilight cleans up Celestia's screw up GGGAASSSPPPP!!! :pinkiegasp: What a twist!!

9594557
You know I like you thank you for this feedback and i will do better next time

9594557
and for celestia and twilight i wanted to keep it like in the show i thought you like that in the show

9594565
..................:facehoof: What Celestia passing off all her mistakes to twilight to fix As she too lazy or incompetent to bother?..that one fo the biggest flaws that inthe show and mlp cliche.

9594572
ahhh i dont watch the show next time i will kill her and send her head to her sister

9594581
Ugghh if your going to be sarcastic. Look The story would be alot better if Celestia always learned from her screw ups, if you make a sequel, then have a bit where she reflects on her mistakes, her biggest one with Cherub with lead to what happen.

I can see Dash resentful of Cherub, and Celestia, she may even start to lose her loyalty to Celestia, for how she caused all this to happen.
But the biggest flaw i see in the last chapter it feels like...you were trying to get it over with as fast as possible.

9594600
oh no i mean it i never watched the show

Hey everyone, so I understood that you didn't like this story. It's okay i accept it but i hope that you will check my other works. They are dark but i think that they have an intersting story

9633083
Don't just write how other people tell you to write, write how you want to write, I have seen a lot of good and new authors leave the community just because of how bad it has become.

9633161
Oh i don't plan to leave i plan to bring something crazy

I never saw this coming, I'm overwhelmed, can't wait for what happens next if there is more and I do hope so

9633685
Read the all story before and there will be a sequel

9633991
Awesome I can't wait :yay:

9634024
Mean while you can read my other stories

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