Celestia and Luna are well adjusted adults who help Twilight mitigate a disaster
The crisis centre within Canterlot Castle was abuzz with activity. Junior officers and bureaucrats rushed about, holding telephones, documents, and graphs afloat as they hurried back and forth. All around the room, ponies were panicking, updating charts, maps, and figures. At the centre of the disaster response effort was a massive conference table, and laid out upon it was a map of the city of Baltimare with various neighbourhoods shaded in yellow, orange, red, and black.
Seated on the other side of the table were two stern-faced officers, the Captains of the Solar and Lunar Guards. They were cold-looking hunks who Celestia and Luna totally didn’t bang on occasion. And between them, in a loose semi-circle, were three Equestrian Princesses.
Of the three, Twilight was the only one who looked attentive, blazing through a mission brief that had been presented to her. Celestia, on the other hoof, looked absolutely bored, sipping her morning bourbon as she tapped a hoof against the table in bored irritation. Luna, for her part, looked just ravished by a hangover, staring vacantly into space with bloodshot eyes and opened maw, her mug of coffee so far untouched.
“Is Her Majesty doing alright?” the Lunar Captain, Ganymede, asked.
Luna groaned and Celestia offered a tight smile. “I’m afraid that me and my sister went on a bit of a bender last night.”
“But you seem perfectly fine,” the Solar Captain, Polaris, stated. “Obviously it couldn’t have been that bad.”
Celestia frowned and took another sip of her beverage. “That’s because I never stopped bending. Can’t get hungover if you don’t stop drinking in the first place.”
The two captains exchanged a troubled look before Polaris cleared his throat. “Yes, of course. Anyways, I’m assuming you’ve had a chance to look over your briefs.”
Twilight placed hers down and nodded.
Celestia merely cocked a brow and slid her unopened document into the centre of the table.
And Luna just kind of blinked before jerking to the side and noisily spilling her breakfast onto the floor. This caused an unobservant officer to slip in her sick and go flying, sending papers filled to the brim with troubling figures exploding throughout the room.
The captains’ worry didn’t seem to dissipate as the shower of notes fell around them.
It was now Ganymede’s turn to speak. “Reports from Baltimare have stated that is a spread of a new and highly vicious strain of pony flu, which is burning its way through the city. So far, we’ve been fortunate and no cases have left the boundaries of the urban core. As such, we’ve already begun to take action in cutting them off from the outside world. However, we’ve opted to summon you to help get a better handle on the situation. The news is troubling, and we felt it would be best to consult with you first and see if we could develop an adequate mitigation strategy.”
Twilight nodded somberly. “I’m sure between the three of this we can come up with an acceptable policy to help minimize equine suffering.” She glanced at her co-rulers. “So, what should we…”
The two princesses stared vacantly at Twilight.
Twilight sighed and closed her eyes, massaging her temple. “Oh, for fuck sakes, are you going to make me do this all by myself, again?” She growled to herself and slowly shook her head. “This isn’t some two bit villain terrorizing Equestria. We need to come up with a sound and rational plan, together, to ensure that this doesn’t get out of control.”
Celestia frowned and placed down her tea. “You’re right, Twilight. It’s just… it’s become rather easy to rely on you for these kinds of emergencies.” She looked at Polaris. “What is the likelihood of this disease spreading outside of Baltimare?”
Polaris looked at his own brief. “With their access to the outside world constricted, the odds are incredibly slim unless it has already found a way to leave the city.”
“And no incidents have popped up outside of the quarantine zone?” Twilight asked.
“No, ma’am.”
Celestia smirked. “Then the decision is obvious, we need to get rid of the cancer before it has a chance to spread. Captain Polaris, would you please ready a Balefire Bomb?” She hummed. “And make sure to bring out one of those big red buttons. I do love pressing them.”
Twilight face-hoofed. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”
Luna snorted and lurched forwards, bracing herself against the table as she grimaced.
“Twilight’s right,” she slurred. “Your plan is stupid.”
“Thank you!” Twilight exclaimed. “At least somepony around here is being rational.”
Luna nodded and looked sternly at her sister. “Baltimare has close to a million inhabitants. You’d need at least three bombs to ensure a proper purging of the city.”
“Oh, that’s a very good point, sister,” Celestia said, shaking her head. “My apologies, you’ve always had a far better mind for military matters than myself.”
Twilight’s forehead crashed against the table.
Luna ignored this and looked at Ganymede. “Please bring me a button as well. Celestia always gets to push the damned button and I want my shot at it.”
Ganymede frowned. “Errr, Your Majesty, maybe Princess Sparkle is correct in assuming that we can take an alternative form of disaster relief in this situation.”
Luna rolled her eyes. “Fineeee, I’m sure we can think of some other response to this crisis.”
For some incredibly dumb moment, Twilight looked up, almost feeling something resembling hope.
“How about…” Luna continued, motioning with her hoof, “we ban all laws within the quarantine zone. You know, kind of like in that movie…” she looked at Celestia, “what was it called again?”
Celestia smirked. “The Purge?”
“Right!” Luna exclaimed. “We pretty much replicate the purge in Baltimare until all the affected individuals are dead. Then we simply storm in, re-establish the rule of law, and call it a day.”
Twilight bolted upright, using her magic to clamp both of her fellow princesses’ muzzles shut. “Okay!” she exclaimed. “Thank you very much for the ideas, and I will make sure to take them into consideration.”
She looked at Polaris, her smile incredibly unhinged. “Get the Solar Guard to take over the logistical operations for the duration of the quarantine, ensure that the city’s pharmacies, hospitals, and markets are supplied. I also want them to be guarded and have a strict occupancy limit maintained.” Then she looked at Ganymede. “I want you to use the Lunar Guard for construction. Use tents to set up enough space for five thousand temporary hospital beds, then over the next few days rent or build spaces to house twenty-thousand semi-permanent beds.”
She then turned to the princesses and released their maws. “See! Was that really so hard?”
Celestia smirked and took another confident sip of her bourbon. “Well Twilight, if you wanted to take the lead on this, why didn’t you just say so?”
Twilight opened her mouth to retort but was cut off as Luna once again lost her lunch. Instead, she merely let her twitching eye speak for itself.
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Honestly, i was betting both Celestia and Luna were partying in Baltimare, meaning they were already spreading the virus among the castle stuff. Especially Luna, considering her unability to hold anything in her stomach.
I’m surprised no one mentioned cutting the city off dimensionally via magic and letting them starve out the flu.
Well no one's arguing to sacrifice ponies on the altar of Mammon, so that's an improvement from real life, at least.
10145861
It would just come back in a thousand years with a deadlier strain.
10145929
Sounds like a good premise for an MLP zombie game if I've ever heard one.
10145929
Same thing works again! Just like... program the spell to starve the city off every thousand years. Perfect, problem solved, let's get drinks!
10145843
I demand more Skelestia stories.
No, that leads to what we're dealing with here on earth. Nuke the city (or encase it in walls so high they rival North Korea's and embed them with anti-magic materiel , assassinate any Pegasai) still inside and be done with it. It's not like ponies have trouble breeding.
I'm only one ninth as drunk as Celestia and I think this is a good idea, too. Actually bring me a big red button, too. And no, painting Button Mash red doesn't count.
That's probably what will ultimately happen here once riots over food and so on break out and they WILL, though I don't think we'll be so fortunate to just go back to the way things were before.
If only everyone here did the same thing. Twilight Sparkle for Congress. She's immortal so she'll never need to be replaced.
Ahh, silly Celly. Balefire bombs? Against a simple flu? That is truly not your brightest idea. I mean... you do know mich they cost? And all the people/ponies who are not infected, all the property, all wasted. Here let yourself be told by someone who knows.
Take your most battle-hardened soldiers, give them hazard equipment and send them in to conduct a simple, effective, control-extermination of the flu. It is that easy.
Don’t look at me like that, they have magic. They will know where the bacteria are and who is infected. It will work!
10145843
No, she'd be a skeleton if she looked her age. Acting her age would involve uninstalling CelestAI from her brain and letting her 600+ years of constantly progressing dementia back in the front seat.
You can tell this is a fantasy because they didn't appoint Prince Blueblood to manage the crisis, and the other nobles have not put a halt to relief efforts with the promise to step aside after their private businesses and assets are secured against economic collapse.
Still better than how Trump is handling things.
Never go for the bomb it away option. Tropes demand there will be enough random survivors/individuals who escaped the quarantine zone that it ends up failing. Learn from Racoon City.
10151759
After considering your offered possibility, I must conclude that yes, your supposition is in fact, correct.
British butler voice: "Well done, sir!"
10146141 Depends on the form of immortality. There are versions where you can be immune to aging and disease but still be killed by sufficient trauma.