• Published 31st Mar 2019
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Celestia and Luna are Well-Adjusted Adults - garatheauthor



Celestia and Luna prove that they are capable adults who are totally and absolutely qualified in running their kingdom.

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Luna and Cadance are well adjusted adults who know about refined cocktails

“So, what can I get you two to drink?” Fleur De Lis asked, gesturing to the two Princesses.

Cadance smiled softly, politely bowing her head. “Do you have any mint?”

“This is a Canterlot townhouse and Fleur’s a member of high society,” Luna said, chuckling softly. “If these aristocrats are good for anything, it's that they have fully stocked bars.” She gestured to their host. “No offense, Fleur.”

“None taken. I fully admit that ninety-five percent of my colleagues are pompous assholes who do little more than collect their rents and live off the interest generated by trust funds.” Fleur snorted in disdain. “Honestly, most of them deserve a meeting with the guillotine.”

The two Princesses were stunned silent until Fleur blinked and offered a polite smile. “As for your question, Princess, I, unfortunately, don’t have any mint.”

“Then I’ll just have a Gin and Tonic,” Cadance said, shaking herself out of the moment.

Fleur nodded before gesturing to Luna. “And for you, Luna?”

Princess Cadance cocked a brow.

Luna and not Princess Luna? Interesting.

“I’ll have a scotch,” Luna said.

“Neat?” Fleur asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Fleur politely dipped her head before heading off towards the bar.

Cadance snorted. “When did you start drinking the dom drink?”

Luna’s cheeks warmed. “Pardon?”

“Well I mean you’ve always had an affinity for sweeter drinks,” Cadance said, then laughed. “I still remember when you got shit-faced on wine coolers and mudslides last New Years’.”

“Cadance,” Luna hissed, glaring daggers at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Fleur snickered from the bar. “I kind of want to hear this story.”

Cadance opened her mouth but Luna cut her off.

“There’s no story to tell,” Luna said. “I’ve always been a mare who has an affinity for drinking dignified and mature drinks. I’d never have allowed myself to consume a… what did you call them?”

“Wine cooler and mudslides?”

“Ah yes, I’d never allow for one of those to touch my palate.”

Cadance decided to go along with the lie.

“Ah right, I must’ve been thinking about Princess Twilight,” she said. “It’s easy to get you two mixed up. You know, considering you two have a pretty similar coat and mane colour and all. You kind of blurs together after a few pitchers of sangria.”

Fleur returned to Luna’s side, offering a gin and soda to Cadance and a glass of amber-coloured scotch to Luna.

“How long has this been aged for?” Luna asked, studying the glass with the critical gaze of an expert.

Fleur smiled. “About seven years.”

Luna took the drink. “Ah for quite some time then. I do like them when they’ve been aged this long.”

She sipped the scotch and seemed to handle it surprisingly well. That is, until Fleur looked away, at which point Luna casually spit the drink back into her glass and stuck out her tongue in utter disgust.

It took a lot of willpower for Cadance to suppress a snicker.

“You do know that’s the dom drink though, right?” Cadance asked.

Luna shook her head. “What are these doms you speak of?”

“Oh, don’t play coy, Auntie. Even you must know what BDSM is?”

“I may have heard the term once or twice before.”

She glanced nervously at Fleur, who glanced back with equal reservation.

“Is it some kind of charity?” Fleur asked.

The two looked like a pair of fillies caught with their hooves in the cookie jar.

Well if they weren’t the two most obvious ponies in the whole entire world. Still, if they wanted to play coy...

Cadance sipped her drink, letting the moment linger.

“BDSM is a bane upon my work as the Princess of Love,” she finally said. “It’s a hobby taken up by a bunch of ponies who use, abuse, and claim that it is somehow love.”

“Hey!” Fleur blurted out.

Luna covered Fleur’s mouth, causing the unicorn to burn a bright shade of red.

“Surely, you must be jumping to conclusions rather quickly, dear niece?” Luna asked, gritting her teeth.

Cadance shook her head, examining the ice cubes in her glass with surprising interest. To look at either of them would risk breaking her composure.

“Oh no, literally the whole thing is about stallions beating mares for some sick sexual pleasure.” She snorted in disgust. “I hear they even support slavery and pony trafficking.”

“And what does scotch have to do with it?” Luna asked.

Cadance shook her head. “The stallions who do these types of activities like to drink it. They probably think it makes them look rather refined and far more dignified than they actually are.”

She could practically feel the rage bubbling under Luna’s skin.

Good, maybe it’d teach her a thing or two about being a little bit more transparent with her niece.

“And can only stallions be doms?” Fleur asked.

Cadance nodded. “I couldn’t imagine any mare ever getting off to the idea of beating another mare. I think if I ever met such a pony, I’d throw my drink in her face.”

“Is that so?” Luna coldly stated.

“Of course.” Cadance then looked up and smiled softly. “Thankfully, no such mare exists.” She levitated her drink, so she could clap her hooves together. “Anyways, why did you two lovely mares call me here today?”

“I was hoping that you’d be able to help me and Miss De Lis out with a little personal problem,” Luna muttered. “Though I now think you might be the wrong mare for the job?”

Cadance snapped her magic and materialized a business card. “Her name is Aurora. She’s a professional dominatrix who operates out of a little town in northern Equestria. I’d highly recommend that you hire her, if you’re looking for a few pointers.”

“Wait…” Fleur stammered. “Didn’t you just…”

“Play you two like a fiddle?” Cadance asked before flashing a cheeky grin. “Of course. Maybe it’ll teach you a thing or two about not dancing around the issue when it comes to matters of intimacy. Especially in front of your niece who kind of has a sixth sense for these type of things.”

She glanced at Luna. “Speaking of which, how long have you had her collared for, auntie?”

“Six months now,” Luna mumbled, clearly left just a little flabbergasted.

Cadance winced. “And you still haven’t gotten used to the taste of scotch yet?”

Luna facehoofed.

“It just tastes so fucking awful,” she groaned.

“Oh Auntie,” Cadance cooed. “You know, you could try something else. Maybe gin and tonic? It’s pretty respectable and refined.”

Fleur cocked a brow. “Wait, but you’re drinking a…”

Cadance materialized another business card. On it was the address of a library in the Crystal Empire.

“Stop by a little after eight on Thursdays. I’ll usually be there with one of my pets if you’d like a few pointers from somepony you know.”

Author's Note:

Wait...is that incest at the end. I didn't intend for that to be incest. Oh dear god, did I just win the June Incest Sweepstakes?

Hope you enjoyed the first of two back-to-back Luna and Cadance chapters.

By the way read Moonstone, it was great.

Discord/Ko-Fi/Patreon

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