Spry and the Falsicorn

by AImostpure

And So It Begins Part 1

“So, was your daddy a baker?”

“Excuse me?”

“Cause you got a pair of sweet buns!”

It was mare's night at the Salt Shaker. Mares were getting their ciders, hard alcohols, or flavor concoction at a seventy five percent cut. The discount brought an influx of patrons not normally seen at the sleepy bar. Even with the cut, revenue increased thanks to the owner's trend of watering down the hard liquor. Good moods were all around except for the unfortunate mares dealing with a troublesome pony.

For an earth pony she wasn't very muscular. Rather thin compared to most of her tribe. A dark tan jumpsuit made from a thick khaki material clad her lankly form. Front and hind pant legs were cut short just above the knees. Over this she had a zipped up travel vest. Her brick red coat stood out in contrast to the khaki clothes. A dusty odor wafted off her with every movement. A clear sign of the abundance of travel she did. A crop of messy blonde mane spiked out off her head. She had a 'just woken up' mane style that begged for a comb to assault it. Lime orbs were bright and alive with a hidden allure and curiosity often found in a young ponies temperament. Fore hooves were wrapped in a special fabric. It was an odd blend found across the eastern seas that resembled leather but without the necessary death to extract. Each shoe was a sandy color with two belts connected to the center opening and wrapping around the upper hoof connecting together several inches above the ankle. Hind hooves were bare showing the odd blue hoof where the red fur ended.

The brick red mare stood on her hind legs and pressed herself against the smooth, dark oak bar with a fore leg bent pressing a hoof against her head. She was grinning after her exceptional pick up line. An over abundance of ill placed confidence lead her to see triumph where only failure was bound to happen. Facing to her right, she awaited for an answer from the pony chosen for her advances.

An unamused unicorn mare sat on a stool to the brick red mare's right nursing a mug of cider. Awkward glances were cast over . Tired of expecting that silence would push the love lorn pony away, magic raised her glass dumping its contents on the brick red mare. Finally accepting the answer, the brick red mare moved on to the pony on her left.

“Nice hind legs. When do they open?” The newly approached mare's lips curled in disgust. Her hoof reeling back only to spring forward slamming across the side of the red pony's cheek. She was sent spinning back stumbling away from the bar and the offended mare.

Staggering from the blow that took her away from the two disgruntled ponies, the red mare found safety from stumbling legs at a table she collided with. Her waist embraced against the edge bending her upper body forward against the cold, smooth surface. She brought her head up giving a dazzled stare on two confused mares who had before been enjoying their select beverages without interruption. Sadly, the arrival of the brightly smiling red mare would put an end to their merry time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Near the back of the Salt Shaker, three pony farmers sat watching the red mare make a fool of herself. Each held a mug of cider, and each took turns sliding a darkened book back and forth between them. Glances went down to the book's cover then came up to the red mare. “That 'er?”

“Eyup.”

“Figure we outta take care of the problem soon?”

“Yeah huh.”

“Teach 'er we don't take kindly to 'er type 'round 'ere.”

Solemnly, they nodded their heads in agreement. Their mugs were emptied simultaneously and each pushed back from their chairs. They fell in line, one behind the other, moving at a slow pace towards the closely watched red mare.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Don't worry ladies, love at first sight is common with me. There wont be any need to fight, there's enough pony for both of you.” The red mare rested her knees against the table cradling her chin with upturned hooves.

For a moment the two mares seemed to be in quiet contemplation of what the pony said. One giggled while the other whispered and grinned coyly in their caller's direction.

Sensing an opportunity, she leaned in closer to the two mares. She dared not let anypony else hear what she said next. Whispered words spoken brought a wide eyed response. Believing she had won over them both, she leaned back lewdly smirking. Hooves pressed down onto the table raising her body back a bit to carefully take in the sight of the two. Whatever she had said, it left the two ponies stunned.

A swift deliverance of justice was made. The two mares did not hesitate to jointly plant their hooves square into the red mare's jaw. Neither had been in a mood to tolerate such an obnoxious annoyance. Whatever had been said to them brought great ire. As the saying is said, Hell hath no fury as a mare scorned.

It was a thing of beauty how the red mare's hooves lifted from the bar floor Her body seemed to be captured in a slow motion reel. Lean body raised upwards traveling several feet before the inevitable crash to the floor. Sawdust from the floor and dust from her coat uplifted around her in a feeble cloud. Swirling eyes stared up at the new sight of the ceiling as her brain rebooted various functions to recover from the sudden disruption of her senses. Just before everything in her mind failed and began to carefully coerce her into the dim world of unconsciousness, the silhouettes of three stallions came to hover over her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Nev' seen a pony go out like that before.”

“Glass jaw and all.”

“Eeyup.”

Lids groggily raised from lime eyes staring out. Three voices tickled the red mare's ears stirring her from the dark slumber. The world appeared strange to her. Looking up, she saw the earth several feet above her head. A cause for worry, she looked down to find the night sky. The moon was at rest crested in the sky below her. It was odd to have the sky below and the earth above. She struggled to move her limbs and averted her gaze to her body. Rope had been tied around her leading up to a tree limb from which she dangled from. The rope covered most of her body like a wicker basket with only her head, neck, and the hooves of her hind legs visible. It all made sense now.

“Whoa there! 'Ey boys! She's 'wake!”

Her instincts took over flooding her body with adrenaline. Thoughts fired off through her brain a mile a minute. She took in her surroundings quickly accessing the danger she was in. It was an open, expansive area. Perhaps a park or somepony's front yard. A fire pit not far away with a community grill placed next to it. She was dangling from a large oak tree. The thick branches and limbs indicted it had been there for centuries. Bushes and grass were trimmed and well taken care of. Picnic tables were scattered beneath smaller trees kept where the shade would protect ponies from the harsh rays of the sun. It was like a painting showing off the simplicity and wonder of small town Equestria.

Settled with where she was, the red mare twisted her self about aiming to twirl her body to face the ponies she assumed had tied her up. Behind her, three stallions stood glancing between her and the cover of a book one held. There was nothing remarkable about them. Typical farm ponies built for hard work and long hours. “Are you Spry?” The one holding the book inquired before spitting at the ground.

At the mention of her name, the red earth pony, Spry, raised her eye brows at the perplexity of them knowing her name. “Yeah, that's me? What's it to you?”

“We don't take kindly to yer type!” One of the others quipped.

Aghast at the statement, Spry began to swing her body snapping her teeth towards the three. They stepped back seeing her get closer with each swing. “What do you mean my type, huh? A fillyfooler? You got a problem with fillyfoolers?” Hind hooves wiggled and squirmed while she swung her body. “Probably go around and beat up coltcuddlers too, huh?”

It was the three stallions turned to look at Spry with expressions of bewilderment. Glances were cast between each of them trying to figure out what course to take next.

“I knew it! Typical! See something different and you decide to just beat up the fillyfooler, huh? Untie me and I'll show you exactly what I can do to you! Just you three wait. I'll beat you senseless and leave you begging for your mommies to save your worthless flanks!”

With a huff from his nostrils, one of them decided to speak up. “How dare you! Them are derogatory words. We don't take kindly to that sorta thing. We'd never hurt somepony for loving somepony and reckon you better watch your lip! No! We don't take kindly to yer type! Plagiarists!”

“Huh?” Crazed squirms and movements came to a halt leaving the earth pony just to sway and dangle.

“You heard em! You plagiarist!” The stallion swung his head back and forward tossing the exchanged book down.

After a cloud of dust settled from its landing, Spry stared down expectantly at the cover for some clue as to what the accusations were from. It was a simple book wrapped in a fold over cover. Crayon was used to draw a pony that resembled her; blonde mane, red coat, jump suit, and two metal thigh bracelets on her hind legs. Written in a foal's cursive were the words 'Spry: An Autobiography' in red crayon. A stallion's hoof came down onto the top of the cover with Spry's following it up to the owner's cranky expressions.

“My daughter bought this here book from some little insect filly thing. Claimed it was about this adventurer type in town. Whole thing is just a Daring Do book with a new cover on it!” One stallion barked.

“I've read every Daring Do book to my little filly and I know one when I see it. How dare yew rip off a classic litter-i-chore book claiming its your otto-bi-og-iffy!”

“Now we'll just let you hang there for a while till you decide to confess!”

“Insect filly... Wait.. MINEA!” A break in Spry's mind set her right back into squirming and fighting against the rope. “MINEA! Went I get free from here I'm buying a fly swatter! I'm going to kill you, you bits worshiping hornet!” This set the three stallions to stumble back. If Spry had been acting wild before, this had escalated at the declaration of committing murder. “You little monster!”

One by one the stallions took heed to distance themselves from the rampaging mare. Their backs turned to her, and heads coming together in whispered deliberation. Something behind them silenced their exchange.

Snap. Crack. Pop.

Each froze in place stricken by nausea from the repulsive sounds. They shuddered to think what now was behind them where Spry was hanging, but none wanted to take the moment to look.

Crack. Pop. Pop. Snap. Thump.

Then there was silence. If the sounds had left their blood chilled and their mouths dry, the final sound of dead weight falling to the ground caused them to leap skyward. An exchange of glances between them acted as words would for them to turn at once. Salvaging what courage hadn't become lead in their hooves, they turned about to see what had become of Spry.

The rope dangled down, now unraveled, pooling on the ground in a lopsided swirl. Spry's broken body laid crumbled. Bones jutted out against skin and cloth alike. It was akin to a murder scene with some hapless passerby finding the mangle remains of the victim. Cautious steps gathered them around the body seeking some sign of life from the crumpled, irregular lump. A movement caught their focus to peer down. With a collective gasp, it turned from a crime scene into a super natural nightmare.

One by one each dislocated limb snapped its self back into place. Shambling extensions shifted pushing hooves against the ground raising her body up with a final, ominous 'crack' that seemed to echo through the empty park. Each leg raised kicking outwards testing the stability of her reconnected parts. “I have to hoof it to you. It's been a while since I had to dislocate that much just to untie myself.” Brushing any obvious clumps of dirt and mud free, Spry sat back on her haunches to observe what came next.

“Are ye a witch?” One shouted while an accusing hoof pointed at the earth pony.

“She's gonna curse us!” Another squeeked.

“Don't be so stupid.” The one who had had said he read to his daughter gave a humorous smack to the backs of each of his friends' heads. “Iffin she was a witch do ya think she would just do somethin that stupid? She's just some fool plagiarist who don't know sense!”

“Oh. Right, cause dropping down 'ike that probably didn't feel good neither. Eeeyup. Probably stupid, 'ight?”

The string of insults did little to curb the growing dislike of the three ponies who had rallied to bind her. She casually scratched the side of her head pondering what move to make next. It would not be a move she would have to make. Instead, something approaching from behind her captors took her attention. Thin lips curled into a devious smile while narrowed lids fell on the stallions.

“Excuse me, gentleponies, but I must ask that you move away from my schwester. I am a dragon of my gods and as thus I do not wish violence upon others.” Words came rumbling on the wings of hypnotizing bass. Spry's three assailants took their turn coming about face to see what it was that spoke.

The ponies were lucky to come up to the creature's mid torso. A bipedal dragon standing near six and a half feet in height. A long, black cassock covered much of his body. Inch wide white fabric lined the collar and bottom. Black talons were scarcely seen on scaled feet beneath the swaying movements of the cassocks base. Lengthy tail swept the ground brushing up dirt and leaves with each pass. Arms were set at the dragon's waist with one hand pushed into opposing sleeve. A wide, round brim hat of black set on his head. It extended outwards nearly as long as his jaw. A dozen tendrils of scales and flesh hung down from his head. Long muzzle held lips mostly closed hiding carnivorous fangs and sharp incisors. Scales were a common fern green with the tips dipped in goldenrod. Cat style eyes set cyan iris to focus on the ponies. “Please. I assure you that my schwester had nothing to do with your grievances.”

With a smug strut, Spry walked around the three ponies. They were stone stiff and terrified of the creature. She let her blonde tail flick out to purposely strike their noses in one quick swish. “Thanks for showing up, Dee-Dee.” Spry moved to his side with a skip fallowing after each step. She pressed a hoof against his waist grinning up at the tall stranger. “Got worried there for a minute.”

A sigh from aggravation snorted from flared nostrils. “Dearest Schwester, please. I utterly despise that whelpish nickname. Please refer to me as bruder, vormund, or at least call me by my name.” His tone took a demanding assertion bringing his gaze to Spry but never turning from the three ponies.

“Okay, Deacon, okay. No 'Dee-Dee' around new ponies.” A light shrug of her shoulders. She'd do it again later just to get under his scales. “Now! For you three. Let me tell you what's going to hap--” Spry's words ceased under a sudden glare from a dragon besides her.

“Forgive her. Though she is consider an adult among your kind, she is still a whelp in many ways.” Deacon bowed his head respectfully to the three ponies, but received a scowl from Spry.

Several seconds passed for Spry and Deacon, yet felt like minutes to the three ponies. Deacon's words took time for them to translate and discern the lack of aggression. One made a motion forward approaching the large dragon with a casting stare on his face. “Well see here. This pony is obviously a plagiarist for this here book. No pony has no right to go stealing no other pony's hard work!”

Deacon bowed deeper at his waist. “I understand your words. But she is not to blame. I understand you purchased the book from a little creature, barely as tall as a quill, yes? Tomorrow, if you come to the stall you purchased the book at, everypony who was swindled will have their bits returned... and if not, the seller will part with a belonging of equal or more value. Please, I assure you that my schwester is just a victim as you and others are. By noon tomorrow, all will be made right.”

It was a lack of dishonesty in his voice that swayed the ponies. Grudgingly, they would relinquish their pursuit until the following day. One by one they began to leave falling into a single file line past the two. Spry followed them, turning her head to watch their departure making sure they stayed true to their silent acceptance of the proposal.

Spry sighed relieved of the tension that was building up. She groaned hanging her head forward. “I'm going to need to soak long in a hot tub after getting out of that rope. They tied me up worse than most ponies do. Either they didn't want me to fall or they really didn't want me to escape.” Drifting back to her haunches, she ran her hooves up and down her sides then her shoulders.

Hands slid free from the confines of his black sleeves. Lengthy fingers tipped with onyx claws slid down across the sides of the pony. Deacon had repositioned himself behind Spry and crouched down allowing his arms to come around her. Gently as if he lifted a foal, he pulled the pony into a cradle. “Now, Schwester, after what you did it isn't good to force your self if you must. Let us return to our tent and rest the last of the eve.”

“Yeah yeah.” Spry didn't bother fighting against him. It was a feeble cause to try and stop him. “Where were ya when they took me anyway?”

“At the time, I was aiding an older mare bring her groceries from her cart to her front door. More importantly, why were you in the bar when I left you at the grocery store?”

Spry shrank back against Deacon burying her face against his chest. “I got thirsty and noticed some cuties wandering in... Dunno why any of my lines took.”

“Yes, that would have been wonderful. 'Hey, let us return to my over sized tent and fornicate besides my oversized slumbering bruder. In the morning, we shall partake in traveler's bread while I try to explain why I never removed the upper half of my jumpsuit.' Yes, it would have been splendid.” Deacon was blatant in his disregard for her ego. He was careful of the parcel he carried when he finally began to move from the spot with the dangling rope. “At least you will not have to worry of Minea.”

“That's right!” With a spring to her body, quickly shunted by the soreness in her joints, she recalled the many things she wanted to do to their mutual insect friend. “Why not? I got a fly swatter I plan to buy just for her!”

“She is currently staying in a hotel. No doubt using the illicit proceeds to procure her stay. Where she got the books, money to get the fake covers, and how she thought we would not notice are things I wish to ask her. That will have to wait until tomorrow. And no fly swatter.”

Crossing her legs across her chest, with a defiant 'harumph'. Thoughts of her revenge still danced in her mind like sugary treats in a child's dreams. Thin lips curled into a satisfied smile at one thought of using her tiny friend as bait at the end of a fishing line. Ponies didn't eat fish but it was still an appeasing thought. These things would have to wait until the next day though. For now it was nearing the time for them to sleep until Celestia's sunrise. The confrontation would have to wait until tomorrow.