• Member Since 10th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 19th, 2018

Arkensaw Pinkerton


I am an owl driving a surprisingly sophisticated human robot.

T
Source

Fluttershy's sent a letter to Rarity: ‘Please come and visit me tomorrow. I don’t know what to do.’

She's found something on the borders of the Everfree. A changeling. But what is she supposed to do with it, now she's brought it into her home?

This is horror, folks. If that is not your bag then I am pretty sorry! This is emphatically not in the same universe as my other fics.

Image by CruiserPL.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 65 )

I like this fic.:pinkiehappy:

1050004 It took me a couple of moments to realize what had actually happened after the cupboard was open...

Gotta say it takes a lot for me to go OH SNAP!...I mean I say the plot twist coming a mile away as soon as you said changeling...but all good horror is subtly obvious.

And to think I was gonna go to bed after this....oh dear.....

1050105 Yeah, that's one of the things I was going for; a sort of creeping "oh no" from the start of the story that becomes more and more concrete. Part of the horror comes, I think, from a mix of knowing what's about to happen and not knowing exactly how; this whole thing actually started with the idea that something predatory that took on Fluttershy's shape just wouldn't work properly.

I hate horror, but this is incredible. And picking Fluttershy... I'm stuck between wanting to compliment you and wanting to shout at you. But in a good way.

1050108 Don't worry! I'm sure you're still you and that there is no need to check the cupboard under the sink at all.

1050112 Thanks! That is pretty much the reaction I was looking for. And come on, it's horror. How could I not pick Fluttershy? Unless I was doing something about dark eldritch powers that no pony should know of, and then it's gotta be Twilight.

1050111
You said it. It was kind of an oh no, I know where this is going but I can't look away kind of feeling.
Well played.

1050349 cheers! I'm glad you liked it.

Hm, this wasn't half the horror you made it out to be.
Not that it wasn't good, but as soon as the nature of the Bloody Bones was clear, the end of the story was quite obvious.
Except for the spade.
That was more of an Applejack move. I'd imagine Rarity to use something more ... pointed.

1050491 Sorry you didn't feel it lived up to the preamble! The shape of the story- changelings oh nooooo- is pretty clear from the word go. I was hoping to get a sort of creeping horror across in that this thing has actually called one of Fluttershy's friends for help. It's that broken- it's that fundamentally confused about who and what it is. It's a weird, sad, broken little thing.

Applejack always struck me as more of a own-bare-hooves sort of gal. And I was thinking Rarity probably didn't want to get too much blood around, hence something blunt.

1050603 There were a couple of drafts where she did, I'll level with you, but it's not worth it. What happens when it gets hungry again?

I enjoyed reading your work. I appreciated the foreshadowing. I saw what was coming but, genuinely enjoyed that way you presented it. Kudos to you on a good read. :) I particularly liked that the changeling appeared to have taken on and merged with the aspects of fluttershy, Even if it didn't understand what was happening to it.

1050660 That was really the crux- the idea sat in my head when I came across how a changeling would react if it half-remembered being the pony it was pretending to be. I realised the only one who couldn't rationalise it, who wouldn't be able to cope, would be changeling-Fluttershy; she's upset because she's done something so monstrously selfish and cruel, and it's anaethma to the memories of Fluttershy she's got bouncing around in her skull. Poor thing. It's why she asked for help. I was determined not to post this until I felt sorry for it, and I knew I'd got there when I started really trying to come up with a good reason for Rarity to let it live.

Fun fact- I am of the opinion that Twilight would have been the most likely pony to let the new Fluttershy-bones live on as Fluttershy.

Pinkerton, a crime was committed here. Only the fact its non canonical saves you. You need to make amends. Make it right for her. Please?

1050704 Augh, I don't even know how I WOULD make it right for her. Even if there was somehow a way to let the Flutterthing live, and "be" Fluttershy, she'd still be dead. What do you want Rarity to do? bury the body and never speak of it again? What about when it gets hungry? What about when it gets too big for Fluttershy's skin? Hell, it would probably starve to death before it fed again because it's so messed up. I really, really don't know how I'd make this right, man.

1050759 Just write her something happy man, balance the scales.

1050769 No worries. There's adorableness coming in future stuff, fear ye not! This one was just sat in my head and needed evicting so I could write other stuff.

1050782 Been there, it was powerful my friend, usually I go to Donny's Boy for manly tears. This was... unexpected. I await the happy. Please deliver.

I would have let her live, really.

1050673 I'd agree Twilight would be the most receptive to the idea this is new Fluttershy - depending on exact workings even say that Fluttershy lives on in the creature, her soul/mind having passed into the new body. Or at least, that it doesn't deserve to die and have it go live in the Everfree.

Good story, and the creature was well thought out as well.

1051475 Thanks! The creature, the bloody bones, is a really old British myth- a sort of unspecified boogieman that used to be thrown around. It was sometimes called a Rawhead and Bloody Bones, and sometimes those things were separate.

Yeah, I think it could have been allowed to live and understood as a sort of metamorphosed Fluttershy, but not by Rarity. I do think that Rarity treasures Fluttershy more than her other friends, and I think she'd have taken this so personally.

I love this story.

*enters crotchety old man mode* But I hate reading something like this on the internet. I skipped over that crucial 42 paragraph and had to go back to figure out what happened.

:rainbowderp: /slow clap

I knew from the moment she/it described the bloody bones, but that almost made it worse. Rarity's reaction earns you a thumb.

I don't normally read horror. At all. But because Fixing Up Ms Smarty Pants is my favorite fan fiction ever, and the sequel was great, I decided to give it a read. Boy it was a good read, and it took me a moment to realize what was happening, though I didn't see Rarity killing pseudoShy like that. All in all a good read, but, to be honest you should stick to writing happy stories. :heart:

Also you killed Fluttershy. :flutterrage:

1053340 Thanks for saying so! I do the same thing with internet writing, it's really frustrating.

1053908 Aw cheers! I was hoping for the slow creep of "ohnoooooo" with it so it's nice to see you got that from it!

1054570 Fear ye not, I'll write something happier soon. But it's likely not to be comedy or shipping- I feel like I've done the romantic comedy about as well as I'm able. FUMSP got such a huge reaction that I don't think I could top it; same for 3Magics and sadfic. My next one's likely to be a friendshipping adventure for some underused colts and fillies.

1050117 Wow you're horrible. Good thing I only just now saw that.

When i saw this i was like :unsuresweetie: .
Then when i was reading it i was like:rainbowhuh: .
When Fluttershy was explaining what happen i was :rainbowderp: .
After Rarity saw the it i was :applejackconfused: .
Then saw how it was in pain i was :fluttercry: .
When Rarity attack it i was :pinkiegasp: .
Then when it was over i was :pinkiecrazy:

Well anyways it was good :moustache:

When the creature was described I was like D:
And I totally cringed when Rarity hugged it. More so when she utilized the trowel.
And like I said. Dark, old, creaky house. Not helping.

Y'know, the entire story felt like it was building up to Rarity getting fed to the creature, which I would have then complained about for needlessly making Fluttershy cruel to her friends just for the sake of having it be horrific. But I've read your other fics, and I should have remembered that you are a good author.

This was a horror story without anypony being OOC, and that's the best kind. :twilightsmile:

This is the sort of horror story that's actually worth reading, unlike the pointless, OoC, one-of-the-Mane-Six-is-secretly-a-murderer grimdark fics that become well known for no good reason. This is potentially something that could actually happen, creepy because it's believable.

And yeah, throughout the story I was definitely running through the possibilities of what could be going on. I thought maybe it was the bloody bones wearing Fluttershy's skin, and bringing Rarity to be the victim for its mate. But then I wasn't sure why it would explain everything to her first, so that didn't quite seem to fit. Something like Chrysalis' mind control seemed like a possibility too, but raised the same sorts of questions.

Anyway, the way it turned out would definitely be heartbreaking for Rarity, and I agree with you that Rarity is the friend who most cherishes Fluttershy. She really should have asked it/her one question first, though: was that letter written before or after Fluttershy decided to feed it? I think it would nag at her forever not knowing if it was already too late by the time she got the letter. Although it'd be even worse if the answer was no, that she could have saved Fluttershy if she had gone to visit her immediately like she almost did at first. Maybe it's better not to know than to risk the wrong answer.

1063532 "Maybe it's better not to know than to risk the wrong answer."

I came to that conclusion, absolutely. I think Rarity would have wanted to know and probably should have asked, but there's more horror to be gleaned if we the reader don't know. Was this the first act of the Flutterthing, to reach out to Rarity? Or was a friend about to make a decision she knew was bad, wanted a friend to talk her out of it, but couldn't overcome her own deferential nature enough to write "now"? Both are sad and creepy for different reasons, and I did feel like picking one would hurt the other.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the comment.

How did the changeling get in Fluttershy's skin? Through her mouth?

1188300 You know, I have a few answers ready, but unless you're super curious I think it's best left to your imagination.

1188518 Yes, I am super curious. Also, my imagination says that it went into her mouth. Or the other end... :rainbowderp: Um, its not that, is it?! Imagination stop!! NOOO!

1188518 I just noticed the pony spike. Epic. :moustache:

that was...

can someone please tell me what happened here. i really have no idea:pinkiecrazy:
and the question is like glue to my head unless someone explains.

1520916 BIG FAT SPOILERS FOLLOW

Here's the short version: Fluttershy saves a changeling called a "Bloody Bones" from the everfree forest. In the course of caring for it, she allows it to drink her blood; it does not stop, and kills her. Then it steals her skin and wears it; but the process has left the Bloody Bones confused. It has taken in too much of Fluttershy and its memories are a mix of its own and hers.

At some point, it's deliberately unclear when, a message is sent by either the Bones or Fluttershy to Rarity, asking for help.

Rarity arrives and the Bones in the form of Fluttershy greets her- it has tried to make peppermint tea but doesn't really know how. It's all snarled up inside, half predator and half herbivore, the memories of a caring pony and the memories of a carnivorous, parasitic predator overlaid on top of each other so none of them make sense. It doesn't know what to do. It asks Rarity to help.

Rarity kills it.

Fin.

1479089 That was what?? I really don't mind if you didn't like it but that comment is driving me loopy!

1522341 well it was odd to say the least and i actually liked it. weird but... good in its own rights, so nice job.

1522339 ohh finally. i can rest in peace now. thanks a lot.

Rarity did the right thing. :fluttercry:

I have two very strongly formed opinions.
I hate horror fics.
I love changeling fics.
I'm glad I finally trusted the second.

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