Second Thoughts
Gardening with Rose
Admiral Biscuit
When I got home, I got undressed out of habit and went into the kitchen to make something for dinner, even though I didn’t feel particularly hungry. I’d spent the whole walk home getting more and more worked up about the idea of gardening with Rose in the nude.
I wasn’t sure why.
Being nude was normal here. There was nothing remarkable about the idea, but this felt different than taking a shower or bathing in the river or relaxing at home. It felt—not exactly wrong, but weird.
If Nurse Tenderheart did house calls, I could ask her what she thought, although she probably wouldn’t be happy to have me interrupt her dinner, and by the end of it, she’d most likely tell me I was being silly. Still, it would have been nice to talk it through with her.
I cut off a slice of bread and leaned against the kitchen counter, imagining myself sitting on the couch in her office. ‘What bothers you the most?’ she might ask. I thought about that as I nibbled on the bread. What did bother me the most? I didn’t have an answer for that.
Maybe it was because humans put so much stock into clothing, to where what I wore was a reflection of my personality. Would removing the final few pieces of my clothing be giving up what humanity I had left? Would that be the final step in me becoming a pony, although bipedal and without a cutie mark?
Or was it something else? I wasn’t so shallow to believe that it required clothes to make me me.
And even without clothes, I could still wear makeup if I wanted to. The ponies had some, and I’d bought a little bit for when I wanted to feel pretty. Hoof polish worked like nail polish, and interestingly enough rather than coming in standard colors, it got mixed to specification, much like paint.
Mascara and eyeshadow and lipstick were also things ponies had.
The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that makeup was an idiotic idea. I’d be working outdoors all day, and most of the makeup would sweat off by lunchtime. There’d been a girl who had started working on our paint crew that got all prettied up before her first day of work and she’d looked the worst of us at the end of the day. That wasn’t an impression I wanted to give. What would Rose think if I showed up to work in the flowerbeds all tarted up?
Then I had another idea.
•••
Maybe the kitchen wasn't the best place for personal hygiene, but it was either that or the living room, and I was going to want to have the stove nearby.
There was some kind of special wax that beauticians used for hair removal and that was something that surely wasn't available in Ponyville. Wax was wax, though, so I figured any kind ought to work.
I was going to try it on my arm first, just to be safe. I’d rather wind up with a burn on my arm than someplace sensitive.
I used my kitchen knife to shave a bit off a beeswax candle, and put it in my frying pan. I'd thought about burning the candle and letting it melt the wax that way, but then I decided that the wax might be flame temperature. On the stove, I could stop as soon as it liquefied, which would be safer.
It didn't take very long to melt, and then I was standing there with a frying pan containing a puddle of liquid wax and realized that I didn't have a good way to pour it on myself.
This was everything that my mother had warned me about when I was a kid.
It was hotter than I’d anticipated. Too late, I realized that I could have stuck my finger in to make sure of the temperature before I’d committed myself.
Even worse, it was more runny than I’d expected. The stuff that they used in salons must have had something added to make it more syrupy: I wound up with a trail of wax down my arm, some of which dripped on the floor.
The wax contracted as it dried, which felt really odd on my skin.
When I thought it was dry enough, I hooked a fingernail under the edge of the wax until I'd pulled up enough to grasp it between my fingers. Just like pulling off a bandage.
Much to my surprise, it actually worked, and I now had a mostly bare patch about the size of a Toonie on my arm, with a little bit of a tail. More importantly, it didn’t seem to have burned my skin. Maybe if I let it cool off a little bit more before pulling it loose.
I leaned back against the counter and thought. I'd want to find a better way to apply the wax, but I could use a spoon or spatula for that. I’d need some way to keep it where I wanted it as I poured, unless I let it thicken up some.
No matter what, it was going to be a long project, but it was doable. I could open a bottle of wine, and it would even be sort of pleasant in a getting-ready-for-Prom way.
But was it worth it? What would ponies think?
“Nopony would trust you because you haven't got a coat.” “Is a tattoo like fleas?” “Did you lose your coat by using soap?” Those were all dumb questions, but made sense for the ponies to ask. They'd probably assume that I had mange or something if I was hanging out with Rose tomorrow and all my body hair was gone.
It works for hippies. That wasn't really a satisfactory answer, but I poured the leftover wax into a glass jar and decided that I'd spend some more time thinking about how the ponies would react to Sam-without-body-hair before I did anything stupid. I didn’t want to give up my humanity, but I also didn’t want to alienate the ponies.
I did use scissors to neaten up as well as I could. That, at least, was reasonably safe. Ponies groomed and brushed their coats, after all.
•••
Normally, the idea of working at Rose’s house wouldn’t have given me insomnia. It was simple work—just do what she said. We were friends, I could trust her, she had my back.
But the idea that I’d committed myself to doing it naked—that still scared me when I got up, and as I made breakfast I kept thinking of excuses I could give for not doing it.
I shouldn’t have. I tried to turn my mind to the positive. I’d been worried about giving a presentation at the school, and that had gone well. I’d been worried about the drawing that Cheerilee had, and that was just fine. Going to the hot tub at the spa? Nothing had come of that, nor had there been an issue with the group showers. Even going to Sugarcube Corner drunk and naked, that hadn’t been a problem at all.
My mind was still conditioned from human experience, and I couldn’t entirely eliminate that from my thoughts. Even though I knew that the rules were different here.
Knowing and knowing, those were two different things.
Berry Black hadn’t liked me taking off his harness at first, he hadn’t trusted me. He hadn’t trusted strange hands getting intimate, and of course I’d not considered that when I’d offered to help. In hindsight, I’d probably never twigged to the reason for his hesitation at all.
Other offers had been rebuffed, from my initial attempts to braid Rose’s tail, to the more recent offer to help Honey Dipper with her harness.
I just went around barreling through pony taboos like a crazed pinball. No wonder they didn’t know what to make of me. And in response, when Rose suggested I do something that every other pony did every single day, I’d worked it in my mind into a gigantic unclimbable mountain and I was done with doing that. Tenderheart had been pushing me in this direction, and so had Rose, and they had my best interests in mind.
I was going to go over there, I was going to get naked, and I was going to embrace my inner hippie.
After all, I had the body hair for it.
That got a giggle fit started.
•••
I was never sure how early ponies were up and about, so I hesitated at Rose’s door before knocking. It was so much more convenient to text somebody and make sure they were ready rather than just knock on their door.
I’d never liked looking into windows to see if anybody was home; it made me feel like a creeper. So I went around back and looked in the flower garden, but it was empty. So much for that idea.
There weren’t any other options, so I knocked lightly on the door.
Daisy answered. “Rose is in the bathroom,” she said.
“Can I come in?”
She considered that, then nodded, moved back from the door and turned her head towards the kitchen. “Lily, Sam is here.”
“I—uh, I’ll be in the garden.” I heard the clatter of hooves on the floor and then the back door open and shut.
Daisy got an apologetic look on her face. “I ought to go back there and make sure she doesn’t panic. Go ahead and sit in the kitchen I guess.”
“I can wait out front, if you’d rather.”
“No, you can come in. Lily needs to learn some better manners.”
•••
Both of their breakfasts were half-eaten. I felt bad about that. Next time, I’d have Rose come over to my house when she was ready, and that way everybody would get to finish their meal before I threw a wrench in the works.
When she came into the kitchen, she didn’t ask me where Daisy and Lily had gone. It was obvious anyway.
“I thought you wanted to . . . to not dress up,” Rose said.
I nodded. “I did—I do—I just didn’t want to walk over here without wearing anything.”
She scrunched up her muzzle. “Well, you’re here now.” Her eyes went to the small bald patch on my arm. “What happened?”
“I was experimenting.” I wasn’t sure this was a conversation I wanted to have, not right now—although it did at least serve as a delay in getting undressed. “It’s complicated.”
“Will it grow back?”
“Couple of weeks.”
She stuck her nose in close and sniffed.
“It was wax.”
“Were you trying to make candles? You could have put it under cold water right away and when it was cool combed it out carefully, and most of your fur would have stayed. And besides, there’s a chandler in town, you didn’t have to—” Her voice trailed off and her eyes got big. “I didn’t know how hard it’s been for you. I should have thought, Berry Black, Honey Dipper . . . If you need a place to stay, or food, you can just ask. You don’t have to go and try and save bits by making your own candles, that’s dangerous.”
“It’s not like that. I wasn’t trying to save money by making my own candles, I was trying—look, Daisy and Lily are going to ask the same thing, aren’t they? Especially if they notice that I—”
“Notice what?”
“Never mind.” They’d probably notice, but surely ponies trimmed their coats sometimes. Real horses, not even show horses, had to have their coats trimmed if they were working, and a lot of ponies in Ponyville worked harder than Earth ponies usually did. Of course, they might have been better at pacing themselves.
In a story, this would have been a heroic moment, but it didn’t feel heroic. I reached down and twisted the button loose on my shorts and then there was no going back.
I took my shorts off and folded them and set them on the kitchen counter. It took me a bit longer to remove my panties, but I motivated myself along by thinking about how the showers at the spa had gotten less weird each day, and how Honey Dipper had only hesitated having me take off her harness the first time. Once you realized that it was just a molehill after all, it got easier.
She must have noticed; even as focused as I was on the moment, I saw her eyes following the movement of my hands and I saw her ears move as I slid my panties down, but she didn’t say a word. Maybe she was embarrassed for me, and didn’t want to say anything.
The kitchen counter really wasn’t the best place for my clothes. I could have gone up to her bedroom and gotten undressed there—why hadn’t I thought of that? “You don’t mind, do you?”
Rose shook her head.
This was out of my experience. I had places I put things in my own house and I had my own rules for what should go where, and I was her guest. “Are you sure?” I picked them up and looked around. Back in the living room, I could set them on the coffee table or even the couch. It would be easier to know where clothes ought to go if ponies weren’t habitual nudists; I could have set them in their mudroom or coat closet or wherever.
It wasn’t my first time being nude in Rose’s kitchen, which helped. But the door that led to the backyard, to their flower gardens, was as formidable an obstacle as a bunker door. I sucked in a breath and walked across the kitchen.
“Will I scare them if I go into the backyard first?”
Rose snorted. “Probably. Especially if you run out there.”
“I could.”
“It would serve them right,” she muttered. “I’ll go first, and you can work with me and carry flower buckets and when they want help they’ll ask for it.”
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Just a note: I wear long pants when gardening, even in the heat, because sweating is easier than trying to patch the scratches. (and not just because the neighbors would get all upset) When picking raspberries last week, I added a sweatshirt even in 90 degree heat so I wouldn't suffer excess blood loss. Levi Strauss rocks for good reason
lol, waxing is gonna be an interesting conversation.
9719710
I'm a fan of firehose fabric workpants, myself.
https://www.duluthtrading.com/men/pants/work-pants/
When I saw the chapter title, I was afraid she was going to, I don't know. What's the pony idiom for "chicken out?"
You probably won't do this, but I think it would be hilarious for Sam to be nude around the CMC. They'd all ask her so many awkward questions.
This is the best, right here.
9720294 "Sam! Put on some pants!"
"But Moooom!"
"You heard me, young lady. You'll scare the horses."
9719710
You need tougher skin.
I guess it's the little things you don't think about that would make a difference when living in an alien culture - wether it's somewhere to plug your phone into, or what to do when your shoes finally wear out, or where to get replacement glasses if you use them.
9719710
Whereas I just bleed on stuff.
9719896
It would be difficult for a pony to understand. And they look kinda silly furless anyway.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/9/14/97628.png
9720030
I’ve never tried them myself. Just wear cheap jeans and even cheaper polyester pants for work.
9720036
Hmm, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a time when anypony in the show used a phrase like that, although I’m sure it’s happened. Maybe appropriate pony lingo would revolve around being spooked?
9720083
They might or might not, in part depending on what’s taboo for them.
Honestly, it’s probably going to be a lot like her talking with Apple Flora, although the CMC might care more about the lack of her cutie mark . . . even if she tells them it’s normal for a human to not have one, they’ll probably still wonder if she’s really tried everything to get one.
9720294
9720328
I’m sure at least one person’s Mom has actually said that.
9720927
Yeah, I’ve noticed that sometimes when abroad. The things that you’re really used to, the day-to-day things are probably the biggest culture shock. You expect the big stuff (like going somewhere that doesn’t speak your native language), but it’s the little things. A couple I can think of off the top of my head were shopping carts in Scotland having all four wheels swivel, there being no $1 in Canada (or pennies, any more), and seeing common older American cars in Australia with the steering wheel on the wrong side.
Aww, Rose is a good pony. Worried Sam has to make her own candles in order to save bits. I don't think Sam needs to worry about waxing. Maybe a little trim. It might help put Rose's sisters at ease seeing what little hair she has compared to ponies and explain why she wears clothes most of the time. Great update as always.
My advice to him: Strip naked, smear mud and grass all over yourself, then run screaming "I AM ONE WITH EQUESTRIA!!" into the backyard.
I'll enjoy the terrorized neighs immensely.
9721081
That's low key terrifying. I don't know what's worse, the tail or the horn.
9721740
She totally misunderstood the motivation, of course, but her heart was in the right place.
Yeah, she probably shouldn’t. It’d freak out all the ponies, and lead to lots and lots of explanation and odds are they wouldn’t understand it.
I can only see that being a very weird explanation.
“So you wear pants to cover some of your body hair?”
“Well, no, but”
“Which you want to shave off, but you still want to wear pants to hide that it’s not there?”
Thanks!
9722237
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, it’s just Sam, embracing her inner
mudearth pony.9722399
I think the tail, personally.
Whatever you do, do not look up a furless pegasus on Derpibooru. That’s real nightmare fuel.
9721081
There was a story I read a while back, don't recall the name where Twilight came back from the human world where Sunset Shimmer had gotten into the nudity thing, and then they were having a summer heatwave in Ponyville (one of the long duration droughty kinds) and Twilight got it into her head to magic all her fur off (no pics sadly) but her friends were rather confused at first, to say the least, but one by one they decided to give it a go.
9892720
I feel like I might have read that story myself, or at least part of it, but I have no idea what it was called. It sounds vaguely familiar, anyway.
Worth mention, while MLP ponies drawn furless are kinda weird, IRL equines without fur are really bizarre (granted, that can be said for lots of animals). There’s a genetic condition, appropriately enough called “Naked foal syndrome” that causes it, and the affected horses generally don’t live past three.
This line fucking killed me. XD
9940152
True fact, I knew a girl in high school who had a burn scar on the back of her hand from hot wax, from when she’d accidentally tipped over a candle as a kid. Don’t play with hot wax, kids.
I also knew a girl in high school who had burns from home-made napalm, but that’s a different story.
9940977
I wanna be friends with this second girl. <.<
Finding a way to not scare them is the trick 😂
9941141
Me too 😏😇🔥👹😈
11138067
Especially in Lily’s case. Daisy would probably roll with it.
She was a cool girl, and I’m glad I got time to spend with her. I have no idea where she is now or what she’s doing. Probably something awesome.