• Member Since 6th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

HAKDurbin


E

Rough Draft is nerdy guy who had no friends before he moved from Appleloosa to Canterlot. His life started to improve greatly when he started to become great friends with Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Soarin, Caramel, Rarity, Fluttershy, Big Mac, and Starlight Glimmer. But deep down he wishes he could somehow win the heart of a beautiful cellist named Octavia Melody who is dating the pompous and filthy rich Blueblood.

Will he be able to gain Octavia's affections? And what will he do when the manipulative Adagio is chasing him for her own cruel means and even Starlight Glimmer might be feeling something for him as well?

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 32 )

This is very good. I'll be tracking, so please keep up the good work.

Is this a rewrite of the first one or something entirely else?

9509231
Something else entirely.

Looks like blueblood either died or injured badly

9907761
You'll find out in the next chapter. :raritywink:

9908201
Looking forward to the next chapter, this is a good story.

9908209
Oh thank you. I'm glad to hear it. :raritystarry:

I just read your other story "A Search for Something More" and I have wondered if this is some alternate universe minus the magic, Sunset Shimmer as a love interest, Eternal War, and the E.M.R?

9963872
I wouldn't call it an alternate universe so much as its own thing completely. Honestly, this story is roughly based on the idea that Rough Draft and Octavia got for a story on chapter 52 of A Search for Something More. I just made some changes to what partakes in it according to the two of them. That's all.

9964244
Oh that makes sense thx for clearing that up

And here I thought you dropped this story, and a 6k word chapter nothenless. You just made my quarantine more bearable😁.

10151250
Oh, my inspiration comes and goes with this story to be honest, but I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'll do my best to not take half a year to publish the next chapter. :raritywink:

Out of curiosity, what's exciting you the most so far with where things are going for Rough Draft in this story?

10151281
Ufff, tricky question actually. Among the things that has happened to him, such as almost killing a rich snob and staining his reputation, probably is the fact that there are three potential love interests on this story. Not only that, but one already has a boyfriend and the other one is a manipulative @!**. Im eager to see how that its gonna play out. See you next chapter, and stay safe!

10151314
Thank you. You too. Lord be with you. :twilightsmile:

It's possible you're pouring on the "Blueblood sucks" theme a little bit strong, there.

10158043
Perhaps, but he is one of the villains in this story.

Great first chapter HAKDurbin :twilightsmile: I can tell I ain't gonna like Blueblood right off the bat, I mean “And her parents agreed to that?” I asked. “Guess so,” Applejack answered. “He even made sure the two of them have the same classes and everything. “Wow, that’s a strange amount of power this guy has,” The guys got some major problems if he's that obsessed with a girl.

Can't wait to see what's to come, thanks :twilightsmile:

And all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Blueblood together again :rainbowlaugh: Nice chapter

Interesting, wonder what Adagio is planing. also feel bad for Sonata. I've got an idea how this may end but I'll have to wait and see

Thanks for the new Chapter, liked how Rarity interacted with Octavia next chapter should be interesting

I'm already hooked by the fact that I can totally identify with this guy. Nerdy outcast with no social life? That was me then, and it's still kinda me now. Plus I also think Octavia is one of the prettiest characters in pony or EqG.

I'm getting real Mean Girls vibes from this story so far. Main character starts associating himself with individuals the others warned him not to.

10494681
I'm glad to hear it. If you'd like, I have another story called A Search for Something More with Rough Draft is also the main protagonist with the same background.

I am so curious as to where this will all go.

I fully expect Blueblood to already have cheated on Octavia in order to morally justify her eventually getting together with Rough Draft.

On another note, something I noticed especially when Octavia thinks about Rough Draft, it tends to be constructed using first person pronouns. I get that this is because it's a first person story, but, well, it ends up sounding self-indulgent when the story suddenly does something like
"The gray girl quietly groaned with her mouth closed so that Starlight Glimmer couldn't hear, disliking how her mind went back to me."
At that moment, Rough Draft isn't there, and there is no logical reason for why it should be framed as him retelling events as he is no omniscient narrator in other scenes, so the effect comes across like Rough Draft bragging to the reader about how all these girls totally want him.

10516348
It's not meant for him to brag about the girls chasing him, and there's a reason why he's telling what's happening even though he's not there. It's something that will be revealed at the end.

10516348
Actually, after thinking about it, you do have a good point about the first person telling, so rather than explain it at the end, I establish it early on in the first chapter, so feel free to have a look.

Bit late getting to this chapter but a great read, thanks HAKDurbin. Looking forward to what's to come :twilightsmile:

Wow, you're releasing these like crazy!
I am loving the way this story is going, BTW.

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