• Published 8th Aug 2012
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Dark Wanderings - ed2481



Twilight journeys to the Capital Wasteland

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The End Part 4

The End part 4

Shining Armor flashed back into existence in the Royal Gardens of all places. Then again, he’d mostly just been trying to get away and hadn’t had a particular destination in mind ahead of time. So he supposed that it was better to be here then some of the other places his brain could’ve picked. A sudden image of him showing up in the female guard’s shower room suddenly popped up, and Shining had to resist the urge to shudder at the past blow to his stallionhood when he thought about the last time he’d made a random jump. Who knew that mares got so jumpy when someone randomly appears their shower room?

Shining let out a long sigh. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t tell Cadence about what he was feeling. Some part of his mind refused to allow it. The worst part was that he could still clearly see the changeling queen writhing beneath him; he could feel as her body gyrated against him sending him, to new heights of pleasure. Some part of his mind had known that Cadence had been acting strange (more aggressive, bossy, and honestly kind of a bitch) but he’d put it off as pre wedding jitters. But that night all his body cared about was the sensations that she’d been sending up and down his…body.

Once he and Cadence had gotten to their honeymoon destination (a beautiful cabin in the woods that Luna had hoof crafted herself at some point, for some reason it had a skylight right above the bed but Shining still had no idea why) he’d immediately begun to be wracked by waves of guilt that hadn’t yet abated. It was as if a fundamental part of the bedrock of his mind had been replaced by a thin layer of plaster, which had begun to slowly chip away as life continued. At first it had only been little things, he’d had a few nightmares about waking up in the claws of the queen. Then it had progressed to the point where he couldn’t stand to have Cadence underneath him anymore, and he’d let her ride him for a change.

Now he was a mess and worst of all he didn’t know what to do. There was no one he could really talk to who could really understand. He’d already tried with Twilight, but all she’d done was suggest going to Cadence, and Shining knew that he couldn’t do that. He sent out an angry blast of force that sent a few birds flying away, screeching in annoyance as they were forced to give up their perches. He continued down the paths until his hooves touched only grass and he found himself standing in front of a beautiful waterfall. With a sigh, he settled into a semi relaxed position on the ground, as the mist created by the waterfall gently wet his face and coat. It was surprisingly therapeutic just sitting there listening to the sounds of the birds in the trees and the patter of the water from the falls hitting the water in the pool below.

“Well what do we have here?” A voice suddenly asked. “My word, it’s Shining Armor, Captain of the Guard. My my, what a surprise.” The voice continued. The voice was mocking, condescending, and had more than just a bit of crazy in it. “I wonder what he’s doing here visiting me. Oh well, I’m sure this promises to be entertaining if nothing else, certainly better than anything that those birds were doing.” To Shining’s surprise the twisted form of Discord suddenly appeared in front of him with a flash. Shining shot a bolt of force out of his horn that passed right through Discord, without doing so much as scuffing the creature’s scales. “I’m going to assume that you can hear me, or maybe you just like shooting blasts of force at water.” Discord said with a chuckle.

“I can see and hear you.” Shining said from between clenched teeth.

“Now there’s a surprise. Usually only Celly or Lulu can see me…” Discord said before trailing off with a shrug. “Would you like some chocolate?” Discord asked, holding out a talon full of chocolate hearts.

“Fuck off!” Shining shouted at him.

“Now now, what’s got a bee in your derriere?” Discord asked with a smirk.

“I said fuck off you snake!” Shining shouted again before he sent another blast of force at Discord, which again only passed through the Draconequus harmlessly.

“And here I thought only smart ponies became the Captain of the Royal Guard. My, how standards have declined.” Discord told him mockingly, causing Shining to scream in frustration and shoot an even stronger wall of force at Discord, with predictable results.

“Just, go away…please.” Shining said softly, it was almost a whimper.

“Or what? You’re in my house at the moment, well really my garden but I refuse to call the cave underneath the pool my house out of principle, so why should I be the one to leave?” Discord asked as he floated upside down, drinking a glass of chocolate milk through a bendy straw as it floated right side up, balanced on the back of his head.

“Because I’m about two seconds away from having a mental breakdown and you aren’t helping!” Shining said miserably.

“Aww, what’s got you down champ? Did your team lose the big game?” Discord asked as he righted himself while simultaneously flipping the milk.

“Like you care.” Shining said with an angry frown.

“I don’t get out much right now bucko. Hell, I listen to birds arguing over worms for entertainment most of the time, unless Celly graces me with her noble presence.” Discord said with a shrug.

“So you’re bored.” Shining said as the thought hit him.

“You bet I am” Discord said with a chuckle. “Now, tell me what’s got you walking around like you’ve got a stick shoved up your ass?” Discord asked.

“How about I say fuck you and walk away?” Shining retorted, before getting to his hooves and beginning to walk away.

“Because otherwise your life is going to spiral down the drain like so much cotton candy down Pinkie’s throat.” Discord replied simply.

“What would you know about it?!” Shining asked angrily, turning to stare at Discord with hatred in his eyes.

“Because I specialize in the mind kid, and I can tell that you need a bit of help at the moment.” Discord answered, before a pair of large black framed glasses appeared on his face along with a comfy looking physiologist’s couch and a notepad. “Now, why don’t you take a seat there on the ground and tell old Dr. Discord what’s the matter?” Shining sat down with a defeated sigh.

“Fine, but I don’t have to like this.” Shining told Discord with a scowl.

“Honestly, I’d prefer you not to.” Discord replied with a smirk. “Alright, why don’t you tell me what’s got you so bothered?”

“You’re familiar with the changeling invasion of Canterlot right?” Shining asked.

“Oh yes, it was a truly wonderful afternoon. Ponies were screaming, bugs were dying in droves, and there was just enough true love to balance things out.” Discord replied with a grin, which caused Shining to scowl at him.

“Well do you remember the way that the changelings got through my shield?” Shining asked, waiting for Discord’s annoying reply.

“Of course, their queen disguised herself as that pink little lollipop and brainwashed yo- Ah I get it, you’re guilty about letting them control you.” Discord said as his eyebrows closed together and a wide grin crossed his face. Shining growled at him, but the Draconequus rolled his eyes and motioned for Shining to continue.

“Well before that happened, there was a night before…” Shining said before he trailed off.

“Oh; and how was it?” Discord asked wiggling his eyebrows up and down with a smirk.

“It was…amazing.” Shining said with a wince at the twinge that the thoughts of the night sent through his body.

“I see. And how does that make you feel?” Discord asked.

“Horrible. I betrayed Cadence in the most complete way possible, and then whenever I think about it just hits me again.” Shining said again, his ears drooping as he laid his head in the soft grass and let the mist mingle with his tears.

“So it is guilt, just not the kind that I thought it was.” Discord said as he adjusted his glasses and then scratched his chin in thought. “Have you tried telling Cadence about this?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I haven’t!” Shining shouted, lifting his head from the wet grass. “How the fuck could I tell my wife that I miss the feeling of being inside of that insect?” Shining asked furiously.

“Well, she does have power over love, and changeling magic relies on love (or at least feelings), and gods know that love is one of, if not the most, powerful force in Equestria. It stands to reason that there’s at least a bit of the queen’s spell lingering in your mind (or your head if you know what I mean, bow chicka bow wow) and I’m sure that your wife could discover it if she looked.” Discord told Shining as he scribbled on his note pad.

“That’s not all though.” Shining said quietly.

“Go on.” Discord said gesturing for him to continue.

“Well I’ve spent the last few days rescuing my sister from a radioactive wasteland and being emasculated repeatedly by my kid sister as she tore people in half and then killed them with their own legs.” Shining said defeated.

“Hmm… it seems that at least Sparkle is progressing nicely.” Discord mused to himself. “But I can’t see how this could affect you as badly as it has.” He added.

“I was supposed to be her hero, the knight in shining armor that was going to keep her safe from the creatures and evil around her! Instead I got my ass handed to me by some snarky jackass with sword so large that it has got to be over compensating for something, and found out that my little Twily is more than capable of defending herself!” Shining shouted.

“Yes, statutory neglect tends to do that to a pony.” Discord observed dryly.

“What did you just say?!” Shining shouted, turning his angry eyes to Discord once more.

“Well, what other way should I put it? In your absence your little Twily beat off a possessed god, an Ursa Major, and helped fight off a dragon? Not to mention fighting me, although truth be told I could’ve won if I wasn’t so distracted by the dancing buffalo, I had nothing to do with that and it was a very interesting sight.” Discord asked Shining, who seemed to shrink under the weight of the question.

“None of that was my fault, I was away on training.” He said in a small voice.

“You’re right, it wasn’t your fault you were doing your job. Yet here we are talking about it; so something about it must be causing you pain.” Discord replied with a shrug as he sipped at his chocolate milk, which was now spinning in a circle in front of him.

“I just don’t know what to do.” Shining whispered.

“Talk to them you muscle-bound moron. Hell, your wife is over there behind that bush and has been listening this entire time. How she can hear what I’m saying is beyond me, but that’s not important.” Discord said before pointing at a bush off to the right.

“Cadence?” Shining called.

“I’m here Shining.” The pink alicorn said as she emerged from the bush. She ran forward and threw her forelegs around Shining’s neck. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” She whispered in his ear.

“I, I couldn’t; I was too ashamed of myself.” Shining told her softly.

“Shining, I’m your wife. You can always talk to me about anything. I had no idea that you’d had sex with Chrysalis, she probably wound dozens of spells around you.” Cadence said shutting as her horn began to glow. Then her eyes snapped open and she let out a shocked yelp.

“What is it?” Shining asked in surprise.

“Shining, your dick is covered with so many empathetic binding spells that I’m surprised it hasn’t shocked me!” She exclaimed.

“What?” Shining asked in confusion.

“There are at least a hundred spells wrapped around your body that are forcing you to lust after Chrysalis, and more than half of them are coiled around you penis!” Cadence exclaimed.

“There are?” Shining asked in complete surprise.

“Yes. Oh, I’m going to hunt that bitch down and tear her horn off of her head!” Cadence said angrily. “But first I’m going to have to spend hours getting rid of all of these spells.” She said with a sigh.

“Would you mind doing that somewhere else? I may be a god of disharmony but the only people I enjoy watching having sex this close are hot teenaged lesbians and horny college lesbians.” Discord asked, clearing his throat loudly.

“What makes you think that this will involve sex?” Shining asked.

“Because spells like these are usually removed during the same kind of action that they were applied. In fact, I’m guessing that you began to avoid whatever position you used while having sex with Chrysalis right?” Discord asked.

“Umm, yeah.” Shining said.

“It was the spells’ way of protecting themselves, now please go fornicate elsewhere.” Discord told them before vanishing.

“Want to do it right here?” Cadence whispered slyly.

“I love you.”

***

“So are you two an item now?” Spike asked as he set a plate of pancakes in front of Twilight, and one in front of Celestia. Twilight nearly sprayed the milk that was in her mouth onto Celestia’s face, but caught herself just in time.

“What makes you think that Spike?” Celestia asked, completely ignoring Twilight’s outburst.

“Well, you keep doing that thing that couples do.” Spike replied with a shrug.

The baby dragon had adjusted surprisingly quickly to the new Twilight. He thought her new eye and leg were cool, and besides, she’d raised him since he was hatched and it took more than a few cosmetic changes to affect his view of her.

“What thing?” Twilight managed.

“You know; that thing where you keep meeting each other’s eyes then looking away with a blush.” Spike elaborated with a small grin. “It’s what Lyra and Bon Bon do whenever they come to pick out books, or what Ditzy Doo and Cloud Kicker do when they’re at Sugar Cube Corner.” Spike added with a shrug as he brought out a tin of syrup and began to liberally pour it on the pancakes.

“You’re quite wise for your age Spike.” Celestia told him with a motherly grin.

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself Princess.” Spike replied with a wink at Celestia, who chuckled.

“So Spike, have you been able to run the library without me around?” Twilight asked in an attempt to change the subject.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, it was easy. I’ve watched you do it long enough that I know exactly how run it; had a bit of trouble with some of the heavier books but Rarity helped me with her magic.” The baby dragon replied with a shrug.

“Well that was nice of her.” Celestia said before they were interrupted by a frantic bout of knocking from the front door.

“I’ll get it Twilight; you just eat your breakfast.” Spike said with a nod, before he walked out of the kitchen and headed towards the front door. Spike opened the door and was surprised to find Rarity looking at him anxiously.

“Is it here?” Rarity asked urgently.

“Who?” Spike asked.

“Is that thing that looks like Twilight Sparkle here?” Rarity clarified.

“If you’re asking if Twilight is home, then yes she is.” Spike replied, narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Then I have to get you away from that thing as fast as possible! Get on my back!” Rarity told Spike worriedly.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Because that thing in there is not Twilight Sparkle, it’s dangerous! Who knows what kind of depraved acts of evil it’s committing!” Rarity whispered furtively.

“She’s eating pancakes.” Spike said flatly.

“Then we have to get away before it finishes!” Rarity said.

“No, I’m staying here.” Spike said, crossing his arms and steadfastly refusing to budge.

“But Spikey Wikey, what if it attacks you?” Rarity asked.

“Hey Twilight, are you going to attack me?” Spike called into the kitchen, much to Rarity’s surprise.

“I wasn’t planning on it Spike.” Twilight called back with a sigh that only Celestia could hear.

“See, there’s nothing to worry about.” Spike said with a shrug.

“It wouldn’t tell you if it was going to attack you Spike, you have to leave now!” Rarity almost shouted.

“For Christ’s sake.” Twilight said with a sigh and a facehoof; Celestia had been boosting the volume of the exchange, and they’d both heard every word.

“Christ?” Celestia asked Twilight, intrigued.

“I’ll explain later. Let’s go and stop my friend from kidnapping Spike.” Twilight replied with another sigh. Together they got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen to find Rarity attempting to magically pull Spike out the door.

“Twilight, help! I think she’s going to break something!” Spike shouted once he saw them enter the room. Rarity shrieked in surprise at the sight of Twilight, who was cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Really?” Twilight asked, before easily tearing Spike out of Rarity’s magical grip. “You were trying to take Spike from me because I’m dangerous. I FUCKING RAISED HIM!” Twilight shouted angrily, as her horn became wrapped in a magical purple light and her eyes filled with a rage that made Rarity flinch. “You think that I’m some kind of monster? Well I’ll show you just ho-” Twilight’s rant was interrupted by Celestia tapping her on the shoulder as she entered the room.

“Twilight, I think you’re doing more harm than good here.” The princess told her dryly. “Also, if you had finished that sentence I would’ve been forced to send you to the corner for using that old cliché.” Celestia added reprovingly.

“Thanks, I needed that.” Twilight said, giving Celestia a smile before she turned back to Rarity. “Rarity, look. I’m still the Twilight Sparkle that left around ten days ago. I’ve just been through a lot of stress and I’ve gotten used to being around people who curse and kill for a living. Forgive me if I’m being a little unbalanced at the moment.” Twilight told Rarity as her eyes slowly stopped glowing. Rarity was shaking slightly, but otherwise the fashionista appeared unflappable.

“Twilight, if nothing else this little episode proves that you’re obviously dangerous. In fact, it proves that Spike isn’t safe around you!” Rarity said haughtily.

“No it doesn’t, you were trying to kidnap my brother! What else was I supposed to do?” Twilight shouted angrily (although she held back her magic, not wishing to further vindicate Rarity’s point.)

“I was trying to rescue him!” Rarity shot back.

“He didn’t need to be rescued!” Twilight shouted, almost losing her temper again.

“Girls, both of you be silent at once!” Celestia told them sternly, silencing the two arguing mares. “Twilight Sparkle has just returned from a long trip to a nightmarish landscape where she was forced to kill to survive, so she is understandably a little more violent then she was before she left. What is surely not helping her is events like this.” Celestia continued.

“But Princess, she’s unstable!” Rarity replied, shooting Twilight a wary glance.

“And you think having her friends turn their backs on her and attempting to kidnap someone who is a brother to her will improve that?” Celestia asked, arching a royal eyebrow.

“I thou-”

“No, that’s the problem. You didn’t think.” Celestia replied harshly, and Rarity flinched as if she’d been slapped across the face with an armored glove.

“I-” Rarity began, but Celestia interrupted her again.

“Now I realize that Twilight’s arrival was a bit ‘shocking’, but that is no reason to be afraid of her, and it certainly not the way I expect the Elements of Harmony to treat their unofficial leader.” Celestia continued, shooting Rarity a glare that was only a few levels above the one that she’d given Discord the time he’s gotten free. To say that Rarity was ashamed would be an understatement.

“I, I’m sorry Twilight darling, it’s just that-” Rarity began.

“It’s fine Rarity; I probably shouldn’t have done what I did either.” Twilight said, scuffing her hoof on the ground as a guilty look came over her face.

“Now that that’s settled, why don’t we go eat pancakes?” Celestia asked, giving Twilight a nudge with her flank.

“That sounds wonderful; I always have enjoyed Spike’s cooking.” Rarity said, smiling brightly. The words ‘and it’ll give me a chance to protect him’ went unspoken between the three of them, but they all heard them. Spike remained unaware of the stress filled undercurrent and was simply happy that they’d stopped arguing.

“Yes, wonderful.” Twilight said with a smile that almost managed to look real.