Day 9 part 1
Edited by TacoTown
Day 9 part 1
Ethan sat around his breakfast table, which he’d hauled out of the upstairs closet along with the rest of his (numerous) dining companions. Ethan had pulled out all the stops for this one, and the table was piled high with a plethora of offerings, and taking center stage was a large plate stacked high with deathclaw egg omelets. The sounds of Cassandra moaning happily as the fluffy cheese-filled egg hit her mouth were enough to make Ethan chuckle as he took in the look of pure pleasure on his wife’s face.
“And here I thought you loved me for my intelligence and good looks.” Ethan said, cocking an eyebrow at his wife.
“Hell no! I’m here for the food!” Cassandra replied with a smirk before turning her head back to the omelet on her plate and taking another monstrous bite.
“I’ve never had deathclaw egg before, how did you get it?” Dusk asked from where she was chewing a bite of egg slowly, she didn’t seem as perceptible to the affects as Cassandra or Twilight (whose brother was shooting Ethan increasingly angry looks as his sister’s pleasured moaning filled his ears. Ethan just grinned back and lifted his eyebrows repeatedly.)
“With the bloody end of my shock sword.” Ethan replied with a shrug.
“You killed a deathclaw with a sword!” Dusk exclaimed.
“Yeah, they’re pretty easy to do that to, or at over here in D.C. Out west where Cassie lives they’re a lot tougher for some reason.” Ethan replied with another shrug.
“It’s because they’ve been competing with the cazadors and nightstalkers for so long.” Cassandra filled in between bites.
“Thank god they don’t live here; seriously, I would rather fight an entire army of Alpha deathclaws naked singing Butcher Pete and using a rusty switchblade then have cazadors live here.” Ethan replied.
“I’ve been eating these things babies and I still don’t know what one looks like, can we take a field trip Ethan?” Twilight asked.
“Sure, Olney’s farther away, but I don’t really feel like going crawling through the breeding ground so that’s where we’ll go.” Ethan replied with a smile.
“Why would you want to see something called a deathclaw?” Shining asked, looking at his sister with a combination of shock and annoyance on his face.
“Because, if I’m going to eat something I want to know what it looks like.” Twilight replied with a smile. Shining began to slam his head into the table, much to the amusement of the rest of the people sitting around the table.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to give you therapy? Like I said, I’m certified.” Ethan asked the unicorn who continued to bang his head.
“No-BANG-I’ve- BANG-Got- BANG-This-BANG-Just- BANG –Give-BANG-Me-BANG-A-BANG-Second-BANG!” Shining replied in-between face smashes. “Okay, I’m good.” Shining said with a tired sigh, he now sported a rather large bruise across his forehead…
“Are you okay Shiny? You don’t look so good.” Twilight asked, looking her brother over with concern showing in her gaze.
“I’ll be fine after I go lie down for a while; this place is getting to me.” Shining replied before heading out the door and towards the bar/hotel that he’d stayed in last night.
“What’s his problem?” Veronica asked as she ate another spoonful of sugar bombs.
“He’s never been good with change.” Twilight answered with a shrug.
“So Dusk, what’re your plans? Because I’m guessing that you don’t want to hang around me any longer then you have to, right?” Ethan asked Dusk, changing topic.
“You’re right about that, I still don’t like you. Anyways, I’m going to head back to the Brotherhood, but only after you do something for me.” She said with a wicked grin on her face.
“I’m already married, but if Cassandra’s up for a threesome then sure.” Ethan replied with a matching grin.
“You couldn’t get your shrunken, irradiated dick anywhere near me. What you’re going to do is make a holotape recording about how I saved you ass.” Dusk replied her grin growing wider.
“Okay, I can do that.” Ethan replied easily, catching Dusk off guard.
“Wait, really?” Dusk asked in surprise.
“Yep, honestly I’m tired of being the only one that Threedog mentions. Actually, fuck it. After I’m done showing Sparky Olney we’ll head down to the Galaxy News building and I’ll give him an entire recounting of it, which will include how you saved my ass in explicate detail.” Ethan answered.
“Hmm… I might just start liking you.” Dusk said after thinking it over for a minute before she pushed away from the table and walked out the front door without a backwards glance.
“It isn’t shrunken, is it Cassie?” Ethan asked his wife who rolled her eyes.
“In the words of my good friend Cass, you’re dick’s so long that Long Dick Johnson is jealous, and he has a pretty fucking long dick. Good enough for you?” Cassandra asked Ethan with a raised eyebrow. Twilight sputtered with laughter while Arcade and Veronica smiled in bemusement, they’d heard it before.
“Wait a second; you have a friend named Cass? Doesn’t that get confusing?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah but we got used to it. The worst is that that bitch Moore has the same first name.” Cassandra answered with a scowl.
“Whatever happened to her anyways?” Ethan asked.
“She got promoted to general and shipped back home to work a desk, I send her greeting cards.” Cassandra replied with a smirk.
“By god I love you.” Ethan told her.
“So you and Twilight are going to be heading up to Olney. What are Arcade, Veronica, and I going to be doing?” Cassandra asked.
“Well, Moria is probably still dying to get a chance to talk geninue members of the west coast Brotherhood, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind grilling Arcade for useful tips. As for you, who said you couldn’t come?” Ethan asked with a smile.
“Sorry Ethan, but I’m going to have to pass, I don’t feel like walking twenty five miles to see below average deathclaws. Besides, I still need to look for Legion activity in the area” Cassandra replied with a shrug.
“Alright, I’ll meet you back here tomorrow.” Ethan replied with a smile.
***
Shining was standing on a flat length of dilapidated highway waiting patiently for Luna to appear. The Princess of the Night burst into existence with a small puff of darkness and looked Shining over inquisitively.
“Why did you call for me? You appear unharmed except for a slight head injury, did something happen to Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked, looking at Shining worriedly.
“No, well yes, but she’s fine. Princess, I really need to talk to Cadence. Would it be possible for you to link us?” Shining asked, his voice almost sounded desperate.
“I shall try, remain here.” Luna replied before she vanished.
“Where would I go?” Shining asked shaking his head in annoyance.
After a few moments, Luna appeared again and this time she was accompanied by Cadence. Without thinking, Shining ran to his wife and gave her a passionate kiss that Cadence returned after around half a second of surprise.
“Shining, it’s so good to see you again.” Cadence told him once they broke from the embrace.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” Shining said pulling her into a hug.
“Is something wrong Shining?” Cadence asked immediately picking up on the worried tone of her husband’s voice.
“Umm, Princess Luna, would you mind leaving for a bit? We’re going to need some privacy.” Shining asked Luna.
“Of course, just don’t have sex; you do not want to know what kind of sex based parasites live out here in dreamland. We’d have to an exorcism, and Tia gets so angry when I have to slaughter cockatrices, or it might be cockatri, meh, hell if I know. Anyway,s it’s not fun and requires a lot more personal space invading then you two want to deal with, so just don’t do it!” Luna told them snippily before disappearing, although Shining thought he heard a chuckle so he couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not.
“Was she serious?” Cadence asked slowly.
“I honestly don’t know, but I wasn’t planning on sex anyways so we don’t have to worry about it.” Shining replied with a shrug, and then a frown crossed his face.
“Alright Shining, spill it. What’s happened?” Cadence asked him, looking straight into his eyes.
“That obvious?” He asked.
“I’m your wife; now tell me what’s wrong.” Cadence commanded.
“Cadence, yesterday I saw my little Twily pull a woman’s leg off of her body and stab her through the eye with it.” Shining said simply.
“What?!” Cadence shouted in surprise.
“The day before that she threatened me and gave me grueling lecture, and now she’s going out to hunt something called a deathclaw.” Shining continued.
“And you’re in here talking to me instead of keeping her safe?” Cadence asked him incredulously, it felt like she’d slapped him.
“But Cadence-” Shining began.
“She’s going after something called a deathclaw Shining, does that sound like something nice and friendly to you?” She asked advancing on him.
“But-”
“Get your butt out of this dream and go keep your sister safe, we can talk later.” She said giving him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing.
“Well, that escalated quickly.” Luna said smugly from behind him, causing Shining to spin to face her.
“You were here the whole time!” Shining shouted.
“Yep.” Luna replied with a shrug.
“Why?” Shining asked in extreme annoyance.
“Because I really didn’t want to have to worry about cleaning cockatrice blood out of the carpets, you have no idea how annoying that process is, and that’s not even going into cleaning up all the feathers.”
“We aren’t that horny.” Shining said indignantly.
“Yeah, and I’m actually a transvestite.”
***
Ethan and Twilight walked down the crumbling highway in the type of comfortable silence that is formed between those who have fought and bled together. Ethan began to whistle as his pipboy played a song about setting the world on fire and Twilight practiced splitting her mind, leaving one to walk, two to scan their surroundings, and three to fiddle with the pipboy attached to her leg. For some reason Twilight felt like she’d neglected the supercomputer attached to her fetlock.
Now that she thought about it she hadn’t been paying much if any attention to it and she felt slightly guilty for not paying more attention to Ethan’s gift. She brought it up to her face and her eyes widened in surprise, it said she was level 25. When did that happen? Then Twilight shrugged and moved onto another menu. She spent another few moments looking over her pipboy before turning to Ethan.
“So what should I be prepared for?” She asked the man walking easily beside her.
“Well, they’re fast and mean as all hell. Just keep your distance and shoot them or slam them into walls with your magic.” Ethan told her.
“Alright, sounds simple enough.” Twilight replied with a shrug. “Hey Ethan I have to go to the bathroom, do you see anywhere good?” She asked suddenly.
“Hmm. There’s a gas station up ahead, that’ll work.” Ethan replied, pointing towards a small building on the horizon.
“Thank Celestia.” Twilight said, taking off towards the building with Ethan’s longer strides easily keeping pace with the unicorn.
They arrived at the gas station and Twilight hurried into the back room while Ethan began to open up the cash registers. Suddenly there was a flash of light from the bathroom and a girly scream of surprise. Seconds later much to Ethan’s bemusement Shining Armor came rocketing through the door in a wave of purple magic.
“Spying on your sister using the bathroom, that’s nasty.” Ethan said, shaking his head with a smirk as Shining shakily got to his hooves.
“Are you okay Shiny?” Twilight asked as she peeked out of the hole that her brother had created in the door.
“Just peachy, thanks.” Shining said clutching his head in pain.
“Sorry Shiny, I’m not used to people appearing out of nowhere after I use the bathroom and I acted without thinking.” Twilight said as she stepped through the door.
“It’s okay Twily, I know you didn’t mean to, but damn that hurt!” Her brother replied.
“Don’t worry, it builds character.” Ethan told him before he headed for the door.
“My hoof up your ass builds character too.” Shiny muttered.
“Yes but it isn’t very comfortable. Along with the fact that it would be all cold and hard, and I have a general rule about things being in my ass.” Ethan told him with a grin.
“And what would that be?” Twilight asked.
“If they have to happen then it’ll be a woman that does it.” Ethan replied with a grin.
“So you and Cassandra have experimented?” Twilight asked with a smirk.
“Yeah, we’ve done it about as many times as you’ve had sex with Celestia.” Ethan replied easily.
“But I haven’t- oh…” Twilight said trailing off with a blush on her face.
“I now have images that I’ll never get out my head.” Shining said despondently.
“Don’t worry Shining, your sister just wants to have hot lesbian sex with your Princess, I bet she’s a screamer.” Ethan told the stallion, who shot Ethan a look that would kill a lesser man. “I can just picture it, their sweaty bodies undulating as Sparky leans in-” Ethan was cut off rather suddenly as Twilight drove her metal leg into his knee, right below the armored plate, causing him to fall to the ground with gasp of pain. “Worth it.”
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I know it's short, don't mention it
It's always worth it. Always.
Whenever this updates I always have a great laugh. I love this story, it's one of the best fallout crossovers imo. I really like the change Twilight's had over the series, now if only Shining would change a bit for the better...
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/I_5457d4_844434.jpg
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/122/b/d/princess_luna_awesome_face_by_ultimateultimate-d4ybfq5.png
On a side note, Ethan is the most effective troll in the wasteland.
Can someone sum up the story then PM it to me so I don't have to read the previous chapters
1371686
Boom, Sex, Boom, witty one liner, boom, more sex, boom.
Na i'm joking, i'd recomend reading it
I must agree with ethan that last comment was worth it
1371703 Wow I thought you were serious, I've been trolled
I'll give it a read then.
1371717smart girl.
1371723 I've never been on the other end of it before, it sucks...I'll get him back somehow
1371742
Good luck with that one boyo/girly
1371752 Girl
and I don't need luck to troll people
1371742seriously. good luck with that. i'm his editor, i know what he's capable of.
1371827 Yea, I'm kinda having trouble coming up with a plan.
I usually don't even need a plan it just happens, I've never had someone who knows it's coming, it's kinda impossible.... maybe
1371838not kind of, it IS impossible. i'm just glad i don't see any of it.
1371848 Yea I thought it was impossible to troll someone who knows it's coming
1371872no, it's because nothing really phases him.
except for my opinions on chapters and new ideas he has.
1371848
1371872
As much as I enjoy you two worshiping my trolling abilites could you stop i kinda want acutal notifications
1371880 honestly, i'm not praising you. just convincing her that it's a bad idea to try to troll you.
1371880 Hey, Guess what... You've been trolled and I didn't even have to do anything
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/216/214/97504%20-%2020_percent_cooler%20animated%20artist%253Amiketheuser%20gif%20rainbow_dash.gif
1371989
Not so much trolling and more being bored by the conversation....
1372001 heh, I don't care, it's a pride thing.
Oh, don't forget the power armor they're wearing and the dual-wield Tesla cannons/Fat Men.
ok I have to say this I have been playing mass effect 2 and shepard would RAPE Ethan
1372552
Na i think that they'd hit it off after a bumpy start, besides Ethan could take an omni blade through the chest and still be making snarky comments I think that that would earn the respect of either Shepard
I really want to see twilight stats and her freaking out about mutations.
1371686 dude, read it. I've read a humongous amount of Fanfics since I became a Brony, and this is my all-time favorite (after FoE, but they're seriously close). The length is just short of amazing, and every word is worth the time. But as ed2481 said, Boom Witty One-Liner FUCK! Boom Hilarity and more Boom.
1373105 So he was telling the truth...which means he didn't Troll me, I, trolled myself....
I'm still the queen of trolling
and I don't have to read it anymore..I was on Day 4 :3
1373156 Unless I'm trolling you *Inception gong/noise/thing*
Seriously, I'd say you should read it all the way through.
1373561 That doesn't seem phisicly possible then again I have beaten a man to death with his own skull so what do I know
I almost feel sorry for Shining. I say almost because he did try to kill the guy who kept his sister alive.
1385755
Needs a romance tag
Good chapter tho
I like Ethan. Too bad this fic'll be over soon.
NO, wait.
We need Ethan in Equestria! Oh, the fun he'll have...
Seriously, how do you come up with this stuff?My poor sidez can't take much of Ethan and Sparky and Luna/anyone she talks with.
I freaking love Ethan, he also thinks the pain is worth it. (I think I gotthat backwards)
“Yeah, and I’m actually a transvestite.”
i.imgur.com/Mrmqa.png
i.imgur.com/FOAuJ.gif
1371703>>
why would someone not want to read the whole story? that doesnt make sense...
Give off a brohoof if you think ethen is hilarious. /)
2953646 (\. Ethan is best pon... I mean human.
2953646 /)
2953646 /) /)
2953646
/) /) /)
3104795 (\ best protagonist ever
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(\ /) (\ /)
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1375709 obvious RvB reference is obvious lol
2953646
*drops 1 brohoof*