After an attempt to restore some of the memories lost to the Memory Stone succeeds, Sunset finds herself caring for a horribly traumatized and emotionally unstable Wallflower Blush.
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Fluttershy is an A+ addition here. This was an A+ chapter, as well.
A Trixie of shame just for you
"I am salivating. As i have said before the spice is marvelous. Add that to the rich black pepper you have seasoned into, what is this, the third, seventh precursor meal? Dark, bitter, beautiful. It really mixes well with the solid, seared side of self-depreciation and wholesome, crunchy realism. Mixed in with the blue, bitter taste of a self-loathing smoothie seasoned with the occasional over-sweet strawberry and topped off with detail-depreciation-description dark cocoa, simply amazing. I tell you this meal just keeps getting better and better. A marvelous job. Kudos to the chef!"
"That is godspeak for 'Why the hell does my chest hurt so much, OH HELL I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!', also, very well written chapter. Good job at portrayal. Doppler effect in reverse."
That scene in the beginning, where it becomes about Wallflower nonchalantly comforting Sunset... how the tables can turn when the calm façade breaks. The flashback is utterly heartbreaking; while I already could understand why she erased this, this just makes it all that more... visceral. It's immediate, and I can feel the terror and the disgusted and the self-hatred all wrapped together.
I'm really glad Sunset found a way to get her to the hospital, even if she had to bring someone else into it. And, of course, Wallflower turns that back on herself, turning the blame inward again... definitely a lot of development to go there, I suspect. Curious what Fluttershy's going to bring to the table here.
I Really hope wallflower realizes soon this isn’t her fault like she thinks it is.
I'm relieved Wallflower allowed Fluttershy to stay. I'm also surprised (pleasantly so) that she actually put Sunset's feelings into consideration. Wallflower's stronger than she gives herself credit for.
Immediately after a head injury.
Where's Applejack's geode of YEEEE-HA when you need it?
Epilepsy Blush.
No, Bilbo. It was pity that stayed Wally's hand.
You should try your hand at lovecraftian horror shiet. I suspect you'd be good at it.
Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
For some reason, I think Fluttershy would make a good counselor. In a land. In the sky. If you know what I meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Pink Diamond?
More of a bed hanger than a cliff hanger. F'naaaa.
Escalation(!)
One of the things I love about your works is that each one has a “punch” – a brief moment or exchange that hits the reader like a brick and leaves them stunned and silent.
These two moments, for me, are Best Left Forgotten’s punch.
Not just for coming out of left field, not just for highlighting that Wallflower’s rape overwhelms her so much that almost dying seems trivial in comparison, but for condensing those feelings down into just two simple quotes.
I swear, your use of imagery and euphemism in Wallflower’s flashback is nauseating. If anything, it’s even worse than if you’d been explicit in your descriptions.
Hmm… is there more to Sunset’s quote here than perhaps you’re letting on at the moment?
You really can't. Horses, water, drinking, all that. (Sunset probably knows that bit more than most.) Sunset is an amazing person for taking this on and taking responsibility, even though she has no real culpability here. At some point, this is going to catch up to Sunset, and it's not going to be pretty for either of them.
The addition of Fluttershy to this chapter was a great choice. If Sunset had called 911, Wallflower would probably be in worse shape just from the experience and possible involuntary psych hold. The fact that Wallflower chose to allow Fluttershy to stay threw me for a loop a bit, in a good way. That was an incredibly difficult and selfless choice to make. Wally's definitely not the bad person she believes herself to be.
That sounds really bad.
I can feel her temptation here. I am not sure I would be strong enough to resist.
This is the gravitational pull I was worried about. I had a similar scene to write in mind, but holding it up in front of this one, I can see the light of your words glowing through it, betraying how paper-thin my version was.
This whole passage is poetic perfection. Gut-wrenching power, not a single word out of place. I would be happy to ever reach half its heights.
So much internal conflict here, between her self-blame and her own needs.
So much in so few words. Her caring for Sunset might end up also being what she herself needs.