After an attempt to restore some of the memories lost to the Memory Stone succeeds, Sunset finds herself caring for a horribly traumatized and emotionally unstable Wallflower Blush.
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This is really hard to read.
I don't know what's going to come next, but I find myself just wishing I could hug Wallflower and tell her things are going to be okay.
Good start, definitely wanna see more.
Wow, this story got messed up FAST. Here’s hoping though that now that the memories have been restored, she can stand trial against him
That was... Wow.
Oh stars above—
Oh man...
You know, there's a content warning tag for this.
There are very few stories that make me stare off to no place in particular, struggling to come up with something decent enough to say to adequately convey my feelings. I want to say something poignant here, but it was all just sucked out of me. Don't take this the wrong way. I'm just floored. To sum it up sufficiently:
Holy shit, poor Wallflower.
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Comments like these are how I know this story is having the impact it needs to. Thanks for sharing your reactions - it really does make this worth it for me.
Holy shit. This is one of the most visceral, emotionally charged stories I've read in ages. Wallflower's pain and helplessness really hits home.
Ooooh ow. I wanted to put this chapter off for tomorrow, but the dread was eating me alive. Now there's dread and hurt.
...Time for chapter three.
I like the notion of trigger warnings, but it's a shame that it necessitates revealing the plot before it takes place on page. I'm sure you're doing right by a bunch of readers but, f'naaaaaaaaaaa. What else is one to do...?
It's tragic how culturally-sustained gender roles and social anxiety in general can lead to unnecessary tragedies. I don't think I could ever legit understand the guile and thirst of a predator that would allow him to go through such lengths to accomplish horrors.
Nice angle of having her mentally wrestling with the words he's said... starting to place the blame unfairly on herself as the nightmare unfolds.
I wonder if--at some point--her mind would have flickered to the disgust of how--not just her body--but her own living domain is being defiled by this invasion. To have one's own sanctuary be the location of a violation has to be beyond nightmarish. But, then again, that may statistically be the most common reality.
A sad reality that she doesn't fight it. Not everything is a Lifetime slap fight cut off by a commercial break.
Ah yes. Mother Nature's a bitch.
So this happens after she used the stone on her parents. That's a raw deal.
Kinda missed out on a chance to describe blood/fluids shifting, trickling, staining as she braved a stroll across the apartment.
I wonder if it was worse that she used the stone so immediately. I honestly can't imagine what I would do in a horrible situation such as this, but I imagine my first instinct would be to dive into the shower. I'm trying to imagine Wallflower with a lapse of memory trying to make sense of what's happened to her body, clothes, and nethers immediately after using the stone.
I wonder how much of this that Sunset "felt," and if she too might be encumbered by night terrors in the weeks to follow.
Jesus! Btw, have you guys watch I spit on your grave? It's about this same problem except one guy, it's three! It's a good thing Wallflower didn't decide to kill this guy like that girl did in the movies
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This story is intended to show the aftermath of sexual assault as true-to-life as possible, because I'm sick of seeing it misrepresented all over the place. Rape isn't a catalyst for some grand quest of vengeance--it's a horrifying and life-shattering trauma. As cathartic as stories about violent retribution can be, the sad truth is that real life doesn't work that way. Almost all sexual assaults go entirely unpunished, and hell, most are never even reported.
Sorry to get up on the soapbox like this. I just want people to treat this topic seriously.
The word that springs to mind is simply “helpless”. Both Wallflower and the reader know right from the off that this guy is fundamentally wrong, about the way he carries himself, the way he takes liberty after liberty so disgustingly casually. But self-doubt and society have taught Wallflower to keep quiet and not make a scene. And so, helpless, you drag Wallflower and by extension the reader through this nightmare of a chapter.
Wallflower’s characterisation is typically inward-facing – everything’s explored through her internal conflict and as such there’s a deep, deep terror lurking in your writing. There’s almost this odd disconnect between the euphemisms Wallflower uses in her thoughts and the visceral, ugly descriptions of what’s actually happening. If anything, it makes the whole scene even more disgusting because you give the impression that she can’t let herself acknowledge what’s happening even as she’s feeling every petrifying moment of it.
The whole thing just feels helpless and hopeless. People can “should have” until the cows come home and it only serves to spit in the faces of those who’ve suffered rape. In one short chapter, you write a brutal, unapologetic and grounded trauma, and it’s agony to read.
This is the best, worst description of this I think I have ever read. Including how her body reacted to it is something that people don't like to think or talk about, but it's true. Just, wow. I don't know what I can properly say to this. The idea of the story, the premise you have, is incredible. To start things off in this way is just... man. I don't think I'd be brave enough to write this. Wow.
I wish I had something more meaningful to say. That probably speaks to it enough.
Didn't expect the content warning so soon in the story.
I've never felt nausea at the end of reading something before, but now I have. I had to sit still for a few minutes after.
Her own body's betrayal of her. I can't think of anything more horrific to go through. I wish I had the words.
This was staring right into that tear in the fabric of the world. A gash of wrongness in reality. The helplessness in knowing that there is never any justice in the end, at least nothing that can put back together what was shattered. Just suffering on one side, and indifference on the other. Somehow, that just makes it more horrific.
Seldom I comment on a fic before finishing it, but this chapter alone deserves a comment on its own. I had to stop here and let it all out first before continuing.
I also had to stop many times while reading this chapter.
It was horrible.
Disgusting.
The worst thing I have read.
Yet it's also one if not the best chapter of a story I have read in a really long time.
By far.
Be it the way you masterfully described the horrifying act, every adjective, every piece of description, charged with the pain and fear that is going through wallflowers head. It avoided entirely entering into certain territory. The reader is supposed to find this disgusting, not arousing, and you drove that point home in the most gruesome efficient way.
This goes in tandem with the deliberate omission of many details, which forces the reader to fill in the gaps mentally, to engage closer with what is taking place as they stand there with sunset, the POV character, powerless, basically as witnesses.
I will refrain from going into details about what made this a nauseating experience, because some comments below have done a better job at that than I ever could.
But it was pure torture.
For someone who has made a stop on this chapter, the aftermath sounds terrifying for the reader, how that last paragraph serves as a way of telling you that the worst is yet to come. The fact that the aggressor may well go unpunished. The fact that the scars she will receive may or may never heal. This is not a problem Sunset can make go away with the magic of friendship as if it was some equestrian monster. There may not be healing from this.
You could have used a myriad of literary techniques to tell the same story while avoiding playing out this scene so explicitly. Telling, via carefully planted tidbits, implications vague enough for the readers to guess… But you didn't. Because then you would have stripped this story from one of its vital organs. The aftermath wouldn't be the same without this. This is what one would call a “necessary evil”.
This was needed. more than ever, on a site where fetishization of vile and disgusting stuff is sadly so common. This serves as a reminder about what it actually supposes for the victim.
I have it in my knowledge that your personal experiences served as the foundations on which this story was built upon. I can't even fathom how hard it must have been for you to translate your trauma on paper, for the world to see.
And I thank you for going through the effort and give us the worst chapter everyone should read.
I knew this story was gonna gonna hit too close to home but I didnt know it was gonna turn like this.