Crisis Of Confidence

by Soufriere

You Woke Me Up For What?

*Vrrp! Vrrp! Vrrp!*

“Ugh. What the hay?” Sunset Shimmer slurred as she tilted her head up groggily from her pillow on her twin-sized bed in the corner of her pitch-dark bedroom and reached to her bedside table for the leather-bound magical two-way diary, which was vibrating and glowing with a greyish-purple aura. Picking it up with her right hand, she used her left to fumble around for the switch to her reading lamp clipped onto the headboard.

She shut her eyes as tightly as possible, grimacing as she turned the switch that bathed her room in a yellowish brightness. Upon opening them again, she needed to blink several times in order to adjust.

Meanwhile, the diary now sitting on top of the blanket covering her bare and not insignificant chest continued to vibrate. She groaned softly as she shuffled herself into more of a sitting position and opened the diary, finally ceasing the sound and ethereal light.

“What do you want, Twilight?” she asked the diary softly and with some irritation as she clumsily flipped through to the first mostly blank page. Of course, the answer was already there, such as it was:

I’m having a crisis. read the newest line in iridescent purple ink.

Sunset thought about this for a moment, briefly rolling her eyes after considering the sentence’s wording. Picking up a nearby pencil, she replied:

Care to be more specific? You’re speaking personally, so I’ll assume this isn’t a dimension shattering emergency.

No it’s not, but I still need someone to talk to who can understand.

Sunset was tempted to reply that Twilight had a habit of penning utter gobbledygook when frantic, and could be difficult to understand even at the best of times, but allowed discretion and empathy to prevail.

What’s wrong?

Moondancer came to talk to me.

I thought you two were friends now. Or, at least not at each other’s throats. Granted, I never met her since she’s so much younger than me, so I can’t exactly form an opinion, and I’m not aware of her counterpart here, but—

We are friends. Actually, that’s the thing. Since finally rejoining the outside world, she’s taken the initiative to make use of all that knowledge she gained from reading just about every book in Canterlot.

And?

She’s going for a PL.

Pony of Letters. Is she trying to become a Learnèd One at the Royal Academy?

Yes. And she wants to discuss her dissertation with me. Tomorrow.

That has you worked up? How come? Twilight, You know more about magic, practical and theoretical, than all but maybe a dozen ponies in Equestria.

She’s not trying for a PL in Magic. She’s doing Sociology.

Interesting choice. Okay. You’re the Princess of Friendship, so… that’s kind of your field.

Even so, there’s a world of difference between my job: solving friendship problems; and her approach, which deals with how problems can arise in the first place.

Sunset scratched her head for a moment before responding. You don’t feel qualified to discuss the mechanics of interpersonal relations on a macro level?

Actually… no. My approach is necessarily reactive and focused on the micro. Sure, oftentimes I need to brush up on my history, but I usually end up going into these situations blind.

Well, that’s what you signed up oh wait you didn’t sign up for the job.

…sometimes I wonder if I’m not as intelligent as I and everyone else believe myself to be.

Sunset stared at this sentence for over a minute, shaking her head, doing her level best to suppress a guffaw. “You’re just now realizing this?!” she called out to the emptiness of her room, knowing Twilight would never hear her, but reconsidered. “That’s harsh. Even by my standards.”

Putting pencil to parchment, she attempted to console.

Twilight, you’re a very smart mare. And you’re aware just as much as I am that the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know.

Yes, yes, the education paradox. But that doesn’t help me here and now!

Okay. Then tell me this: What do you plan to do? Ignore Moondancer again? You know that’ll probably send her over the edge, if what you’ve told me about her history is correct. You’d probably create a villain. Amusing as that would be from afar, I don’t think any of us wants that. You’ve already dealt with so many.

Including you.

Sunset growled at that line, but then sighed resignedly.

Yes. Including me. Though let’s be honest, I was probably the most pathetic villain ever. That’s just deserts for letting my emotions get ahead of me and trying to ad hoc a scheme. I’m better now.

I really don’t like how you worded that.

Take it however you want, Twilight. I’m half-asleep and don’t care anymore. I’ve made my peace with you and possibly with Her too. Let’s not waste any more space. I think you should meet up with Moondancer, for her peace of mind and yours. Chances are you’ll understand a lot more of what she’s saying than you think.

But if I don’t?

Fake it. That’s exactly what so many kids I tutored over the years did. For some of them it actually worked. Why do you think Trixie’s still around?

Heh. Some things really are the same on either side of the looking-glass.

Look, Twilight. Moondancer sounds like a good kid. She asked you to hear her out because she trusts you. That’s a compliment.

I guess. I just don’t want to disappoint her. Again.

I understand that. But look at it this way: You can either let these thoughts swirl around in your head until it leaves you mentally exhausted and unable to move, in which case you WILL disappoint her. OR you can go meet with her and possibly learn something about your position and your friend you might not have considered before.

You know, I just realized I’m the one who’s supposed to be giving you advice. That was my mandate from the Princess. Maybe you don’t need me anymore…?

“I am older than you.”

Twilight, you taught me my lesson. Directly. Physically. Painfully. That was the beginning of my journey. From there, I had to move forward on my own. That’s as it should be. You can lead a horse to water, but it’s up to them to drink, right?

True. I remember Applejack doing that with me literally, shortly after I met her.

Not surprised.

Sunset, I will go to see Moondancer tomorrow. She’s counting on me, depending on me.

“I wouldn’t go quite that far. Would you?” Sunset asked her smiley-face pillow. Twilight’s writing continued.

I suppose I just needed to vent. Thank you for calming me down.

Anytime, Twilight. Now please, get some sleep so you can be in top form when you meet Moondancer, okay? Good night or morning or whatever.

Good night. I hope we can meet again in person soon. Without a crisis in the multiverse for once.

Sunset did not respond, as she had shut the diary just as that last line appeared, then promptly fell back into a deep sleep, dreaming about vegetables, cheese, and sauce all wrapped in a warm tortilla.

Author's Note:

This story is based on an incident that actually happened in real life.

More Info

Comments

[Maldarach]

Would you look at that ;)

Thanks for still staying around, and even if I don't mind at all, I wasn't expecting a story from you.

[Mx Story Anomalax]

This was really good! Thank you for the look into Twilight and Sunset's relationship and such. It was kind of heartwarming. :)

[Equestrian Defender]

Sunset did not respond, as she had shut the diary just as that last line appeared, then promptly fell back into a deep sleep, dreaming about vegetables, cheese, and sauce all wrapped in a warm tortilla.

That sounds delicious. As long as it's not from Taco Bell.

[Lakeguy]

This story is so sweet!

[Darkstarling]

That’s Twilight: Brilliant, kind, neurotic, and condescending all in one package. Bad with the good and all that.

Nothing like early morning support phone calls.

[Fetch]

9506600
For Sunset, a dream. For Twilight, potential nightmare. If Pinkie's party file is accurate.

[twience]

Oh wow this was good

[Equestrian Defender]

9506726
And knowing Pinkie, it probably is.

[ScopeEva]

This was fun. And also nice to know Sunset is at least a little ahead of Twilight in some places given her age. Or maybe it's just her mare of action attitude. Either way, awesome.

[Jubilee Bloom]

Cute, in-character, well-written, and thoughtful. Nicely done.

[Soufriere]

9506503

Thanks for still staying around, and even if I don't mind at all, I wasn't expecting a story from you.

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. I'm not leaving just yet and, let's be honest, it wouldn't be me if I did the expected thing.

9506539 , 9506625 , 9506655 , 9507077 , 9507249 , 9508034 , 9508092
Thank you so much! I'm glad y'all enjoyed my little story.

[Lakeguy]

9508205
You're very welcome!

[Maldarach]

9508205
And it was a kind of story I'm used to from you, means it is great and funny ;)

[Vaguely Demented]

Possible additional line for the end.

And in doing so set into motions a complicated series of events that somehow retroactively changed Moondancer’s dissertation into the socialogical effects of quesadilla based diets. There were no survivors.

[FanOfMostEverything]

A bit of excessive verbiage at the start, but overall, a great bit of Twilight confronting imposter syndrome and her own anxiety with the help of Bacon Horsegirl. Thank you for it.

[zimmerwald1915]

9508968
Imposter Syndrome isn't a real thing. Or rather, it is more real than anything else, inasmuch as sufferers accurately perceive reality.

[Tinandel]

9509621
9508968

One of the things I've come to realize as I've gotten a bit older, is that while there is almost always a far better suited person than you out there for any given task, that person will almost never be available when they're needed. We're all horrifically inadequate for most things.... but in most situations, we're also the best that we've got. Making due with the resources at hand.... in a lot of ways, that's what life is all about.

Anyway. I just bring it up because, so far as Imposter Syndrome goes.... yeah, your worst doubts about there being better-suited people out there than you is almost always gonna be true. But, the problem is here right NOW.... and those better people usually aren't, are they?

[PiMan]

9509621
But they don't. Whether they are accurately gauging their own abilities is one question, but I think the greater question is whether they are accurately gauging the abilities of those around them.

[Xena Skywalker]

This is a very good one-shot. I am glad that Sunset was able to calm Twilight down.

[Opponent]

Sunset's rather harsh here. But I guess that's what being awoken in the night does to you, among other things.

[fanreader999999]

Hm

[Luna Aeterna Solutae]

“I am older than you.”

Pffft. No you're not. You're like eighteen and Twi is brushing against thirty.

[Sable Dawn]

9531366
technically sunset is way older then Twilight, we can assume that Sunset went though the portal prior to Twilight becoming the personal student of princess Celestia, and Twilight was at most in her teens, if not a young child when she was selected as such (due to her getting her cutie mark at the same time), considering how personal Sunset takes the whole getting revenge thing, Sunset was probably Celestias student for a number of years, making her at least a little if not a lot older then Twilight.

[Soufriere]

9626096
Thank you. That's how I see it too.
(canon, which I don't always observe, backs us up on this one)

Plus I believe in authorial fiat. I say Sunset's older than Twilight, therefore she is.
If another writer wants to say Sunny is younger, they can do that, but it doesn't mean jack to my world.

TL;DR - Much as I prefer not to insult my readers, the comment to which you replied was beyond moronic. I won't delete it because (1) that's bad form, and (2) others need to see the idiocy.

[DanaO]

9509966
This is so very and horribly true. I suspect realizing it may be a definition for attaining maturity, as a person if not as an animal.

[MixMassBasher]

Interesting back and forth conversation between Sunset and Twilight

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

Sunset stared at this sentence for over a minute, shaking her head, doing her level best to suppress a guffaw. “You’re just now realizing this?!” she called out to the emptiness of her room, knowing Twilight would never hear her, but reconsidered. “That’s harsh. Even by my standards.”

sometimes you can't always have the answers you hope to have.

Yes. Including me. Though let’s be honest, I was probably the most pathetic villain ever. That’s just deserts for letting my emotions get ahead of me and trying to ad hoc a scheme. I’m better now.

agreed.

[Bookwurm666]

Why do you think Trixie’s still around?

Because it would be illegal to kill her

[Bookwurm666]

Okay. Then tell me this: What do you plan to do? Ignore Moondancer again ? You know that’ll probably send her over the edge, if what you’ve told me about her history is correct. You’d probably create a villain. Amusing as that would be from afar, I don’t think any of us wants that. You’ve already dealt with so many.

it would be kina funny from Sunset's distance