Learning To Live Again

by Speedy Quill

A New Leader

The entire ordeal was leaving me on edge. I wanted nothing more than to scream at the top of my lungs. But then something happened...

Love. A surge of love like I hadn’t felt since the first Invasion. But it was from a great distance.

All the other changelings felt it too. They began flooding the throne room. I sat on Celestia’s throne, doing my best to keep calm. One of the changelings stepped forward.

“What do we do? Where is all of that love coming from?”

I thought for a moment. It became obvious where the source was, but I had to spin it properly.

“It must be...the hive! The Queen must have gathered a great amount of love! We should return at once!”

Several of them gave me odd looks.

“Leave? But we’ve taken the castle. Shouldn’t we hold it?”

I looked down on the miniature horde.

“Chrysalis has succeeded with her plan. And now a source of love has emanated from the hive. That can only be her call for us to return! Do you all really want to miss out on the greatest feast we’ve ever seen?”

They all began to nod and mutter their agreement. I stood tall and motioned towards the South.

“Let’s go!”

They all cheered and took to the air. I walked down the steps and watched as they all flew out through the doors. Soon there wasn’t a single changeling left in the castle. I sighed in relief.

“I can’t believe that worked.”

I hurried down to the old dungeons under the castle. Sure enough I found the entire staff and guard locked up. As soon as the first pony saw me they began crying.

“Celestia..”

Dozens of eyes found me and cheers started echoing through the old halls. I opened the cell door and everypony came streaming out. They all crowded me, all thanking me at once. I smiled and nodded.

“You’re all so welcome. But we need to make sure the castle is secure.”

I looked at the guards.

“Go floor to floor. Search every room and make sure we’re safe.”

They all saluted and raced off down the corridor. I looked at the remaining staff.

“We need to make sure the rest of the city is okay. I need a coordinated effort to insure public safety.”

They nodded and dispersed. All that left was two ponies. Luckily I knew both of them.

“Rain Cloud, Gold Feather. I’ll need you’re help more than anypony.”

Rain Cloud smiled.

“Anything Celestia.”

I looked up and down the corridor to make sure we were alone.

“I believe the changelings have been defeated. That means everypony should be returning soon. Including Celestia and Luna.”

They looked at me for a second before they began to understand. Gold Feather stepped in front of Rain Cloud.

“Who are you?”

I smiled and sighed. A halo of green surrounded my body and I returned to normal.

“Sorry about all of that.”

Rain Cloud smiled.

“Shade!”

She ran around Gold Feather and hugged me.

“How did you get here? I thought you were out of town.”

I pulled away.

“I got back yesterday. A few bits of luck and I was posing as the leader of the invasion squad.”

Gold Feather looked wary.

“That was...changeling magic.”

I looked at him, realizing he didn’t know.

“It’s okay Gold Feather. It’s just a façade. I’m still me.”

I turned to leave.

“Now as far as everypony knows, Celestia and Luna are fine now. I believe they are too, but we’ll want to make sure this place is put back together and running like they’re here.”

Rain Cloud nodded.

“Then when they return it will be seamless. Most ponies might not even notice they’re not here yet.”

I nodded.

“Exactly. We make sure things are back to normal. No need for there to be a panic.”

Gold Feather finally returned to the moment.

“So make sure that everything and everypony is back to their normal duties and act for Celestia in her stead until she’s back?”

“Exactly”

They looked at each other and nodded. Without another word they ran ahead. I joined them on the main floor and the three of us began delegating. Once ponies started seeing me, the Right Hoof, they didn’t question anything else. To them that meant everything must be okay. We worked tirelessly for an hour. Reports came back that most of Canterlot had been unaware of anything. The terror had been confined to the castle.

The guards returned with a changeling. I recognized him immediately. The one I had tied up. He didn’t struggle as the guards brought him forward.

“Where are the others? What have you done with them?”

I nodded to the guards and they stepped back. I looked back at the changeling.

“They’ve all retreated. Did you feel that surge earlier?”

“Yes.”

“That was the call to return to your hive. Count yourself lucky we aren’t a vengeful race. Go home before I change my mind.”

I shot a bolt from my horn and the bonds dissolved. The changeling stretched his legs and snarled.

“Fool! We’ll be back.”

He flew off at top speed. The guards began to pursue. I called them back.

“Stop. He’s not worth it.”

The guards came to a halt and went back to their search.

The moment it was just the three of us again, the main doors opened.

Celestia and Luna entered the castle.

I couldn’t help myself. I raced forward and jumped on them. They pulled me into a group hug and I started to cry.

“I thought I’d never see you two again.”

Celestia squeezed me tight.

“I thought Chrysalis had gotten you. I was so worried.”

Luna chimed in.

“I wasn’t. I knew you’d be okay.”

I lightly punched her shoulder and laughed.

“How about you two don’t go getting captured again anytime soon?”

————————

The white light died down and I found myself back at the Ponyville train station. I shook my head to clear it.

“Can’t make that a regular thing.”

I ran towards Twilight’s castle. I don’t know what drew me there first, but I just knew they’d all be there first. I burst through the front door without a thought. I heard voices coming from the map room. I raced in and found all the girls and Spike brushing themselves off. As soon as Rarity saw me she stopped fixing her mane. She raced to me without a word. I grabbed her as tight as I could and didn’t let go. We both started sobbing as soon as we locked together. I couldn’t talk above a whisper.

“I thought I lost you.”

“Never.”

I felt more bodies gather as the girls came in for a group hug. I let the warmth wash over me as we continued our reunion.

———————

I sat with the others as Starlight described her story to us. I couldn’t believe my ears.Chrysalis was gone!Driven from her kingdom. A new leader. And...

I sat forward.

“What do you mean they changed?”

Starlight looked at me.

“Well...just that. They changed. When the changelings started giving their love they transformed. They look really different now.”

I sat back. Giving love transforms you? That didn’t make any sense. I’d been giving love for a while now, hadn’t I? Especially since I started seeing Rarity. I glanced at her. She was still listening to Starlight. I thought back over our relationship. When we’d started to see each other I’d been having my buildup problems. Could that have stunted the flow of magic to such an extreme?

I played back the days in my head. Could I really have inhibited myself? Transformation, even natural, wasn’t an easy magic. It took an enormous amount of energy. That would have more than likely taken care of any buildup I had had. And that much magic would have been noticeable...

My mind stopped. There it was...

It was the night Rarity and I had first been together. It was late and we were sleeping under the gazebo.

I had felt a headache more intense than anything previously. My skin had felt like it was boiling. And it was because I’d been thinking about how much love I had for Rarity...

A bolt of magic fired into the sky like a firework...

As my mind drifted back to the present i began to hear voices.

“Shade?”

“Are you okay?”

“Darling what’s wrong?”

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. How long had I been crying? I wiped the tears and took a deep breath.

“Sorry. It’s just...incredible that she’s gone.”

Rarity pulled me close and brushed my mane.

“It’s okay. She won’t hurt anypony again.”

I felt my body start to shiver. Luckily Starlight had finished her story by then. The girls began to part ways, leaving me, Rarity, and Twilight in the map room. Twilight leaned over and put her hoof on mine.

“What’s wrong?”

I took a deep breath.

“My magic...it tried to change me. But I was still so messed up after everything...”

The tears started again. Rarity wrapped her hooves around me. Twilight looked thoughtful, her eyes lighting up after a few moments.

“Maybe you could have been a fully-realized changeling, but you’ve become something even more amazing Shade.”

I looked at the lavender alicorn.

“And what’s that?”

“You’ve been put in the unique position of being a part of both worlds. You’ve gained knowledge and skills that have given you advantages as both a pony and a changeling. And it’s because of what you’ve been through. You might think it’s somehow a flaw not to be like the rest of the changelings, but I promise you it’s your greatest strength.”

A small smile crept onto my face.

“Thanks Twilight.”

She smiled and stood up.

“I’m sure you’ll need some time to recuperate. But maybe you can come help me out in a couple days?”

I nodded as Rarity and I stood up to leave.

“You can count on me.”

She smiled and left the room. I turned to Rarity and smiled.

“I don’t know about you, but I definitely could use a few days of sleep.”

Rarity smiled.

“Let’s go home.”

We walked side-by-side out of the castle and made our way to the boutique. Twilight was right. If I had changed then, I doubt I’d be where I am now. And that gave me more satisfaction than knowing Chrysalis had been dethroned. I could feel my heart pounding still. I felt a lot of hurt over the past few days. But I had to believe that there were better days ahead. In fact, I knew there were.

--------------------------------------

I paced the floor of Twilight’s library. My nerves were shot. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so nervous. Starlight and her band of heroes were being honored for saving Equestria. Twilight had arranged for me to meet Thorax after the ceremony. So here I was waiting in the library.

“What’s taking so long?”

The door opened and I spun around. Twilight stepped in.

“Sorry. I was having a small crisis. But it’s all better now!”

She stepped in all the way and opened the door.

“Shade, I’d like to introduce you to Thorax, the King of the changelings.”

Thorax stepped forward and I took him in. He was tall, green, and very...buggish.

“I don’t know if I’m really a King, Twilight...”

His eyes found me and he fell silent for a few seconds. When he found his voice, it wavered a little.

“Oh...wow...”

He stepped towards me.

“You’re...I mean...”

I nodded.

“My name is Shade. It’s nice to meet you Thorax.”

I held out a hoof and he took it with enthusiasm.

“I can’t believe you’re still alive! Not that we wanted you dead of course. Well...Chrysalis did. Especially after everything.”

I kept nodding.

“I’m sure she did. I’m glad to know she’s gone now.”

“Yes! We’re all really happy! I bet there’s a lot of the hive that would want to see you again!”

That made me pause.

“Well..I..I mean...”

His ears dropped.

“Sorry. I’m overwhelming you.”

I regained my composure.

“You just surprised me is all.”

“What have you been up to since Canterlot?”

“Hmm...where to begin? Lost in a forest for a year, nearly killed by timberwolves, saved by ponies, learned the magic of friendship, and now I work for Celestia.”

His eyes grew huge.

“Woah. That’s...a lot.”

I chuckled.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

I began pacing around him.

“Starlight said you guys went through a transformation. I didn’t expect it to be so drastic though.”

Thorax looked embarrassed.

“Yeah. We were all pretty surprised. But this is what it looks like when our kind give love instead of taking it.”

As I came to a stop in front of him, he began looking me over.

“You look like you’ve made some changes yourself. You look like a mix between the two species.”

“I was leaning more towards a pony look when I made the adjustments.”

He looked surprised.

“Adjustments? You used permanent form magic?”

I nodded.

“I was afraid my magic would get me in trouble. So I altered my body instead.”

“Wow. That takes a lot of skill. But I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised with you.”

Twilight interrupted.

“Sorry, but the way you two are talking makes it sound like you know each other. Or at least that you know Shade, Thorax.”

Thorax nodded.

“Everyone knows him. He’s one of the most skilled changelings Chrysalis ever had. His knowledge was her greatest strength.”

I chuckled.

“Is it any wonder that her latest plan fell apart like it did?”

Twilight stared at me.

“I didn’t know you were such an integral part of the hive!”

“I couldn’t have been that important. I was left to die after all.”

Thorax cleared his throat.

“If I might?”

We both looked at the changeling.

“Chrysalis was irate over the Invasion. At first she blamed all of us for not doing enough, but soon she shifted to blaming you.”

“No surprise.”

“And she wanted you to suffer for your...mistake.”

He glanced at Twilight and back to me. I nodded.

“She knows about my part in it Thorax.”

“Oh! Ok. Well once she knew where you were she was more than happy to let you starve and die. And then-“

I held up a hoof.

“Wait...you said Chrysalis knew I was in Everfree?”

“Yeah. She knows where all of us are. Or at least she did. That power might be gone since we destroyed her throne.”

I sat down and thought over that cursed year.

“When did she know?”

“Um....about a week after Canterlot?”

I felt my eye twitch. Twilight sat next to me and put a hoof on my shoulder.

“It’s okay Shade.”

“She knew...”

Thorax stepped forward.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I looked up at him.

“It’s not your fault. I...I should have guessed. Of course she knew!”

Twilight stood up and walked to the door.

“I’ll be right back.”

She left the room and I felt my legs tremble. My gaze hardened into a glare. Thorax took a step backward.

“I’m...I’m sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling.”

“Just answer one question for me.”

He nodded. I felt tears building up.

“Why didn’t you kill her?”

Thorax’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“I...we...how could we?”

“I could think of several dozen ways. There’s hundreds of you and one of her.”

“It wasn’t going to happen!”

That made me pause.

“You...you considered it?”

Thorax frowned.

“You think you’re the only one who’s been affected by her cruelty? Every one of us has suffered at her hoof!”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. But...you see where I’m coming from don’t you?”

It was Thorax’s turn to sigh.

“Of course I do. But you realize what you’d have been asking the changelings to do? I don’t know if any of us could ever go as far as to kill her. Even if Chrysalis is a cruel monster...she’s still our mother.”

I heard a quiet gasp from behind Thorax. We both turned to discover Twilight and Rarity standing in the doorway.

The gasp had come from Twilight. She was visibly shocked at the revelation. I glanced at Rarity. She had tears in her eyes. I couldn’t meet her gaze.

They slowly stepped into the room. Thorax stepped back.

“Maybe I should go.”

I shook my head.

“No. You don’t have to. I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that. That was unfair of me to do.”

He looked at me and sighed again.

“No. In all honesty, you had every right. You’re the oldest.”

Twilight couldn’t help herself.

“What do you mean the oldest?”

Thorax glanced between me and her. I slowly nodded. I looked at Rarity. She was still holding back her tears. Thorax turned to Twilight.

“Shade is the firstborn of Chrysalis. He’s the oldest changeling born under her reign. And that also means he’s my older brother. Well...half-brother.”

Twilight slowly turned her gaze to me.

“Does that make you...a prince?”

I shook my head quickly.

“No. I was never that. Thorax has far more claim then I ever did.”

Thorax shook his head in return.

“I don’t think so. I think everyone would gladly follow you if you were back at the hive.”

I looked at the changeling in shock.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Even if Chrysalis treated you like a common grunt, we all knew you were a lot stronger than the rest of us. You’ve always had the respect of every changeling.”

I stared at him for several seconds, trying to take in this new information. In the interlude, Rarity approached me.

“Shade, maybe you should take a step back. Let’s not discuss this right now.”

I shook my head.

“No. I won’t leave something like this for later. Thorax...I know you think I’d be a good leader, but trust me when I say this.”

I took a deep breath.

“On the surface I may seem strong, but deep down... I’m not the same creature you think you knew. Too much has happened since those days. But you? You’ve got a kind heart. You led the changelings to freedom. No changeling deserves the title of King more then you.”

Thorax began to smile.

“That’s really nice of you. I don’t know if you’re right, but if that’s how you really feel... I’ll do my best to take care of the hive.”

I began to smile too.

“I’m sure you will.”

Thorax rushed me and pulled me into a hug.

“I’m so glad I got to see you...big brother.”

I returned the hug.

“It was good meeting you too Thorax.”

We pulled apart and I stepped back next to Rarity. She was beaming. She leaned over and whispered.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Twilight seemed to finally be up to speed and stepped forward.

“I’m glad you two were able to meet. I didn’t expect...all of that, but I’m glad.”

Thorax nodded.

“I’m going to head back out to the gathering.”

He looked at me.

“Will I see you out there?”

I nodded.

“In a minute. I think I need to talk to Twilight first.”

Thorax nodded again and left the room. I turned to Twilight.

“Any questions?”

She burst.

“Where do I even begin?! You’re a child of Chrysalis? All of the changelings are?! You’re basically royalty? How could you not have told us?!”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes, most of them, not really, and it’s something I wasn't very comfortable sharing. Well...except with Rarity.”

Twilight looked at Rarity.

“You knew?!”

Rarity smiled.

“Of course I knew dear. You tend to learn a few things about each other in a relationship.”

Twilight looked back at me.

“Does Celestia know?”

I shook my head.

“No. But now that the changelings are becoming allies, the truth won’t remain silent for long. I’ll tell her and Luna the next time I’m in Canterlot.”

“Not even Celestia knew?! Rarity knew before Celestia?!”

I rolled my eyes.

“Well I’m not sleeping with Celestia.”

That made both Twilight and Rarity turn crimson.

Comments

[Ninjadeadbeard]

Hm. Would love to see Shade and Thorax have a little get-together and talk about things.

[THERDSTORYWHISPERER]

Great chapter!

[Dxinsider]

Ok look Shade meeting Thorax next please.

[The Bricklayer]

He walks in both worlds, the balance. Insert Grey Jedi joke here, please.

But in all seriousness, I and like apparently everyone else here needs to see Shade meeting Thorax.