I just love fantasy, myth, monsters, and all things weird and wonderful.
Equestria was always as mysterious as it is beautiful. Inhabited by mythical creatures, ruled by immortal royalty, magic, and many other things. One could only wonder how it came to be. Well, no civilization has a pleasant foundation. Princess Celestia, the pony who had founded its capital city, should know that more than anyone.
(Cover art by Sotoman on DeviantArt)
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looks like im the first commenter for this one, much better that alot of the other firsts of writters stories in terms of grammer with just a few hickups here and there. Plot seems nice but the 4 chapters that have been done so far have little in terms of lore. there isnt too much attachment to the main charactor's who ever they may be, and im not refering to the main 6. But ya, some more lore to explain things would be nice in t he next chapter. Keep up the good work regardless.
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Thanks, man! Yeah, this is my first story here and I'm still working out the lore. I'll also confess that I'm not the best at grammar. Anyway, I've decided to focus completely on this for now and I'll try to work harder on this.
Awesome chapters, you are doing an amazing job, I can't wait to read the next one.
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Thanks! I've been working on this idea for a little bit. I hope to make something enjoyable.
Oh hey, a fellow Monster Hunter fan!
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Hi there!
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Yeah, the cover art caught my attention only for the lack of crossover tag to lose it.
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Oh, sorry about that. I was just looking for the best image I could find to represent my story.
I like this idea. I will review both these. Chapters after I read the next one.
Otherwise. Good job so far onto the story.
Ps. Are lunas stars real? Real stars?
I like that you dont describe the humans. They are simply humanity. They are by the actions. Its just nice that you didnt alienate rather in not describing youh have actually allowed me to dream up how they look.
More over focusing on what they are as people their choices. So Great idea, mate!
Ps. Im writing this as I read so it may be weird.
I like that you referenced childhood and fantasy. Because ultimately thats what equatria IS. As it is not that hope and togetherness is bad far from it. But,
We can see even in the case of nightmare moon their are lies.
Obscured history.
To be honest the people are lied. Thus OF COURSE THEIR HAPPY. Nothing as forced them to truely grow as a people. This as some people put it to man up. Or be mean....Just simple to open your mind and heart too see.
Onward!
We are united finally in our selfs as humanity in our cruel fate of subsaction.
This makes it much worse...but what if because they are so small that they think most of them are kids?
Are they naturally like this this small? Hmm?
I dont know if this was deliberate. I will assume it is because I just noticed. The humans...the loser are faceless lack indviduality well the ponys the victors?
Have names and description....welll played well played dear author.
It seems racism is not easily beat in ponytown? I always read the idea of nobles as being unicorns as read on history. Yet falls a little TOO on the nose that unicorns have magic. Ohh that also are smart and do government.....fancy that....now I know this isnt absolutelu true.
My point I think is that are is very very deliberate caste system at place?
Have we seen a student of magic that is a earth pony or a alicorn that is a earth pony first?
Your use of language is good. Action is clear. Perhaps a little more description?
You dont waste words. Which I really appreciate. Nor thank all that is holy. You dont explain something in four sentences that could be told or even shown in cases in one.
End review.
Oooohhhh. Immortal human revenge story!
I had a thought. Wouldnt there tech...evolve?
I can imagine longer then a thousand years have passed? And we havent made anything better then a humer? Or what have you? Or is this a fake out?
They arent aware of celestia?
Discord wont be good for the ensueing fight.
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Sorry for the late reply, but thank you so much for all the comments and the review! It's such a pleasure to see that there are still people interested in my work. Thanks for taking the time.
What anime is the guy in the cover art from?
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From what I gather, it's Sotoman's character from his comic. Couldn't find much on that though.
Wait... What vehicle were they using
Wait... Where are the jets, Tanks, guns. Cause judging from the time span we should have created more than that.
Please tell me there is more to that.