Prologue
"Fluttershy? Can you hear my voice? Are you okay?"
I lifted my head up from my hooves and glanced around. All I could see was an endless plane of colours and shapes swirling and floating in a grey space. I blinked. I couldn’t tell if things were near or far, or what it was I was seeing. Slowly, I stood up. "Um, I think I'm okay. Where am I?"
It was silent and my focus shifted from blurs to more blurs, struggling to make sense of the world I was in. Everything was hazy, and... Dizzying. My eyelids closed and I slumped onto the floor, rubbing my head with my hooves. The room started to feel like it was spinning and I took a deep breath to clear the feeling away.
The voice spoke up again. "Don't worry Fluttershy, you know me, and I'm here to help you." Her tone radiated a soothing quality, like a mother's lullaby to a young child. I didn’t know whose voice it was, but there was something about it. It was comforting. Safe.
I opened my eyes again, only to be greeted by featureless collections of colour and motion. "I don't understand, I... I can't see very well."
"That's quite all right and perfectly normal. I can help you see things more clearly, but you need to do something for me, too. Could you do that?"
I looked around blindly, trying to place the voice, hoping to see somepony, or anybody, really. "Okay..." I whispered. The smothering feeling from earlier started to set in again, I snapped my eyelids shut, trying to not panic.
"Take deep breaths Fluttershy,” the voice said, “I need you to be calm. What I need you to do is let your thoughts wander. Think about any journeys you've recently taken."
I kept my eyes closed, and nodded slowly, completely lost in the warmth of her voice.
"I want you to tell me everything you can remember, little one," the voice said, "Let your train of thought carry you."
My eyes drifted open as I started thinking. My thoughts lingered around the mare’s soothing voice. How it sounded so familiar, so reassuring. Why did she need to know about where I had been? What ‘journeys’ had I taken recently, anyway? A faint memory beckoned to me, echoing barely in my mind's reach. It was a wooden building in a desert. A train whistle blew in the distance, and suddenly the shapes in front of me flew together and assembled themselves.
That was it! That was the memory! I fell back with a squeak, and watched the scene quickly fall away from itself – becoming nothing more than blobs of colour shrouded in grey. I had remembered Appaloosa’s train station, and it appeared right in front of me!
"Very good, Fluttershy. That is a very good start," the voice praised, "See if you can try it again. This time, however, try to remember the last time you rode on a train."
I nodded, not considering whether she could see me or not, and started going through my mind for the last time I travelled by train. There were several occasions that came to mind. Visits to Canterlot, a trip to the recently-returned Crystal Empire, Dodge Junction, and rides to Appaloosa were the clearest memories I had. In fact, I had gone to Appaloosa recently, I was sure of it.
The world around me started to blend together and form a new scene. I focused on it, and saw a tipped-over locomotive half buried in the sand. Something shifted to my right, and my head turned towards it.
Huh? How am I…? I could see myself on a train, writing a letter to somepony. Before I could move closer to find out whom, the vision with the other-me vanished, replaced by images of Appaloosans and Buffalo smiling at me. The ponies offered me a canteen full of water and the Buffalo gave me a red headband with two feathers tucked into it. I blinked. And the images turned into a frozen courtyard in some sort of castle or stone city. It feels very cold out here, wait…I looked around. I really was outside, somewhere far away from any desert – but where? I looked down and saw that the headband the Buffalo had given to me was now lying on snow-covered stone bricks next to my saddlebags and the Appaloosan’s canteen. My heart ached looking at these belongings. They were now dented, torn, and dirty, but they were mine. I reached forward and picked the headband up. The feathers were long gone, and frays had appeared in the pattern, yet I pulled it onto my head and pushed my short, ragged mane out of my eyes.
Short? I turned to face behind me. The snowfall parted to give way to another strange sight. I was now inside a dark cave, glimmering with what seemed to be dozens of pairs of blue eyes. They were all glaring at me, closing in on me.
Run! Run for it!
My legs kicked and swung wildly on instinct, spinning me back around and into a full gallop. The vision fell away behind me, with a new one forming around me in its place. The ground changed from hard stone to dying grass and dry soil, but I kept running, leaving the dark cave somewhere in the depths of my mind. I looked up ahead, and saw the border for the Everfree Forest that ran near my home. I didn’t want to go in there. I was about to stop but then a sound of a beast behind me pushed me on. I stole a quick peek behind me and caught sight of a massive creature with large fangs and claws. My heart raced, my wings welded themselves shut against my sides, and suddenly I felt the weight of my saddlebags and canteen slowing me down. Wait, when did I pick those up?
As I ran deeper into the forest, the sky turned black and the dense woods opened up into a massive, rocky landscape dotted with pools of lava. I skidded to a halt and backpedaled away from a pool, spinning around to scan the landscape for safety. I felt my entire body drop under a weight forming in my stomach, as I spotted several fully-grown Dragons circling above. They looked angry. And they were all staring at me! I frantically searched for a way out, and saw a hole in the ground that seemed to go down into some caves. Without giving it a second thought, I leapt down the hole, skidding and sliding down into the abyss as orange fire washed overhead.
This cannot be real. This is crazy! I slid further and further down, rolling and flailing in the darkness as the friction rubbed into my skin. Sharp pains cut into me as I hit the walls at every bend, and angry throbs coursed through my muscles with each desperately reach for safety. I grabbed blindly in the darkness, frantic for anything to grab onto – anything to stop myself from going any further. The tunnel vanished beneath me, and I screamed and flailed blindly in the dark as I plummeted deeper into shadows. I had to stop falling, I had to pull out of the drop and fly. Otherwise, I...
I abandoned the thought, and instead slowly spun around until I was falling head-first. I tried to carefully unfurl my wings, and grit my teeth when the air almost tore them off. The deafening sound of wind ripped around me, and I swore I could hear the ground rushing up to me. I was falling too fast! I couldn't take control!
Please! Please, please start flapping! My wings were not cooperating, I could feel a fire in their joints, and sharp pangs quickly set in as my only way of saving myself cramped up. I shut my eyes tight.
Through the blustering wind filling my ears, a melody found its way to me. I opened my eyes and looked around myself, confused. A few feet away, falling beside me was the Element of Magic. Twilight’s Element. And it was… Humming? Glowing?
I reached for it, the melody filling my ears and drowning out the air whistling past. Comforting warmth ignited in my chest, and as I drew nearer to the Element, the warmth grew and spread. My pain was washed away. All fear fell away. The Element’s gentle glow and soothing tune enveloped me in a deep, relaxing hold. I touched the Element and pulled it against me, and soon I could hear nothing but an otherworldly hum, and feel nothing but the pattern of my heartbeat slowing to calmer rhythm. My eyes fluttered shut for a moment, but as soon I opened them again. The music ended abruptly, and the illusion vanished, leaving me sitting alone among the grey and silently-morphing amoebas of colour.
My eyes stared far ahead, but whatever they could see meant nothing to me. I was speechless. Had I even left? Was it real or a dream? Questions appeared in my head, but I had no way of answering them. I stood up onto my hooves and checked myself for any cuts or scratches. Nothing, even my mane was at its full length again. Why was it short in the first place? What happened to me? I looked up into the air and called for the voice of the mare. Would she know? Would she even understand if I told her what had happened?
Her voice echoed from nowhere, a sound so serene to my ears. "I'm still here, Fluttershy, I've been listening the whole time," the gentle voice assured me.
Listening? When did I start speaking?
“You don't need to speak; I can hear you all the same."
"What?” I breathed. I should’ve been more concerned, but her voice was like the song of the morning birds – the serenity of a quietly flowing river. I couldn’t find the desire to be afraid. "Who are you?"
"I will explain," the voice soothed. "You have amnesia, and you have forgotten a lot of what has happened in the past three months of your life. Nopony knows what you did in that time, but this memory spell I have you under can help you explore your own mind and uncover your memories. I am able to hear you and see what you see because I am in the trance with you, maintaining the spell."
The feeling of comfort slowly faded from me, and I sat down on my haunches. Amnesia? Memory spells? Who was this mare? Where in Equestria could I have been for three months without anypony knowing what I was doing? The space around me started to feel like it was spinning around at a sickening speed, and I groaned and held my head steady with my hooves. "I don't think I need to know any more... I'm sorry." I whimpered.
"Don't be, little one, I'm sorry for putting you through this, but this is very important. We both need to know what happened to you. It's not going to be pleasant, Fluttershy, but I'll always be here, you can trust me; I am one of your closest friends."
My ears perked up and I felt a pang in my chest. My friends… My closest friends – Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack, and Spike – memories of each of them flickered in front of me one at a time. Each one disappearing among the shapeless forms of colour almost as soon as they had appeared. Though I knew the owner of this voice was not any one of them, she sounded familiar enough for me to know that I could trust her. I stood up slowly, and took another deep breath. The only way I was going to understand why things were like this was by forcing myself to remember what had happened. I didn't like the sound of what was coming. But if I had lived through it once, then it shouldn't be so bad to simply remember it. Having parts of my memory missing was probably worse than anything that could've happened in that time, I could handle remembering them, right? If my memories were important to not just me, but for others too, then I had to try to get my memory back, for them at least.
I looked up into the air, seeing more featureless amoebas of colours drifting around, and started to speak. "What... what do I need to do?"
"Allow yourself to rest, and let your mind do the searching. Let's try and start from the earliest memory you have, the train buried in the sand perhaps? What can you tell me about that?"
I nodded slowly and stared off into the distance, and for a few minutes, I said nothing. The voice didn't say another word, probably knowing that I was trying to let the memory come to me.
Slowly, the scene of the train emerged, and with it, came a flurry of whispers and other images that gradually organised themselves into some sort of order. I looked over the scenes before me, their stories becoming clearer with each second, and I began to recount what had happened three months ago.
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"Most stories start from the beginning. This one's not so simple. Here's a mare who's world got all twisted, leaving her stranded on wrecked train in the wilderness. She gets up. Then she falls to her death....
Nah, I'm only foolin."
Well, that was fun. Now for the real comment:
WHY DID YOU DELETE THE STORY!! IF YOU WANT TO REWRITE IT FINE, BUT AT LEAST LEAVE THE OLD ONES AND REPLACE THEM AS YOU GO! I WANT TO READ THE STORY AGAIN! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!
You know this actually feels a lot like Bastion, only it is the Kid, or Fluttershy in this case, who is narrating, instead of some other character. Or at least, it will be when Fluttershy starts telling the mysterious voice her story.
Also, PLEASE BEING BACK THOSE AWESOME ILLUSTRATIONS!!!!
1726849
The Survivor Shy Gallery on my deviantart still exists (along with the relevant story excerpts in each images' description), and I'm going to be reintroducing almost everything from the original set up as time goes on. I only need to finish the last illustration for Chapter One, make my final adjustments and edits to the text, and I'll be free to add more to the story.
This overhaul is being done to improve the flow and narration, and make a chapter feel like a chapter and not like a ripped page, which some people said to me made it harder to really get into the story. I don't intend to remove anything that is in the currently complete but unplublished scenes, because they're still part of the story's canon, but I'll likely make additions and other revisions as I see fit.
Also, I've never played Bastion, or even heard of it until now. Survivor Shy seems to share a similar beginning, but what I have planned take a different route altogether.
Oh, and finally, I couldn't add the Prologue at the top of the chapter list without removing all the other chapters I had out. So I decided it would be best to just take them all off FimFiction for now and start anew.
So from what I read in the comments there was a orginal story to this but you took it down to rewrite it…well I may have not read the original I can tell this is going to be a fun story
Interesting. Very interesting indeed. I liked how you started out in medias res, although to be fair I did find it a little jarring to be dropped down into this story without the context behind it. I guess it helped, because Fluttershy was feeling the exact same confusion that the reader must have certainly been feeling.
The mysterious unicorn (assuming here that the other voice is a unicorn) who has Fluttershy in this trance is a good driving point for the story because it makes one want to know who she is and what her angle is with making Fluttershy remember these things. Overall, it's a good start and I will be reading further to find out more about this. One thing I would recommend you do is put this story up on dA so I can follow it there, as I am not very active on fimfiction. My account there is portaljumper339, same as it is here.
This was a nice edit.
Me ghusta.
Man, It's about time I read this. Reading 40 other fics at once sure cuts into my reading time.
Oh wow. I'm really digging the illustrations.
The one thing I'd say is that the narration doesn't sound enough like Fluttershy to justify having it in first person. You could easily convert this story to third person just by changing a few words here and there. Typically I try to "hear" all of the dialogue I write in the character's voice from the show. That's much more difficult when the entire story is written as the character, but it still needs to have that kind of unique voice.
I looked over it for a while, trying to decide exactly what was wrong, and I think the problem is that she's not panicking enough. You wouldn't want to overdo it, of course, but if Fluttershy wakes up somewhere and doesn't know what happened, she's probably going to be scared out of her mind, very frantic and possibly unable to get out a full coherent sentence until she calms down. The way it is, she hardly bats an eye.
I actually think that Fluttershy's timidness would make her one of the most interesting characters to survive some kind of catastrophe, since she'll have to overcome all sorts of personal difficulties and really grow as a character. But, as it is, I'm not getting any of that from this story.
OMG i love how you ended this first chapter.
The comic took me by surprise. I gotta say, I'm really loving the style so far. It sounds a bit weird for Fluttershy, but it might be just because it's inner monologue, rather than outward interaction. Amnesia is usually pretty cliche, but at least the story is starting out with the characters trying to do something about it, rather than just sitting around like asses. Looking forward to the next chapters~
Also! I'm kind of buggin' out. I was listening to No Light by Florence and the Machine as I was reading. I started the song the moment Fluttershy fell into the hole because I felt like it was appropriate, what with the falling and the glowing element. It somewhat fitting, and all was well, but suddenly I got to the part of the comic "But something was wrong" right at 3:15 in the song, where it gets really dissonant and dark, then picks up again. It was great.
Just saying, I'm hoping this song stays relevant to the story, so I can keep playing it as I read.
Reminds me of End of Ponies. Now; I wonder if the Spell/Natural Event/Whatever effects other Equestrians like the Mules, Zebras and the Saddle Arabians, as well as the Buffalo.
Hoo boy... At least in End of Ponies; the other races lost most of their population during the cataclysm and during the following Anarchy. Here; Equestria is going to become a Political Hotspot.
This music really fits to this story
I originally saw the images first on DA. When I found it here, I was dying to try reading it. I didn't bother reading it on DA. But right now, I am offically into this now.
I have a feeling the voice is Fluttershy's mother...
This is very nice. I just wish Fimfiction would allow you to determine the relative size of the images compared to the page. I had to open the image in a new tab to zoom in properly.