• Member Since 6th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Batta-Coco


A tornado flew around my room before you came in...

T
Source

Heartbroken Flurry Heart runs away when King Sombra declares war on Equestria. Soon she is captured by Sombra's oldest daughter, Midnight Crystal. Flurry soon befriends the king's son, Shadow Crystal and he helps her escape the wastelands.
During her escort, Flurry Heart and Shadow Crystal become very good friends. Flurry Heart helps the Crystal Army by playing a role as a soldier. After the war was won by the Crystal Army, Midnight Crystal planned to kill Princess Cadence and take over the Crystal Empire and soon all of Equestria. Flurry and Shadow plan to stop this deadly quarrel once and for all. Flurry and Shadow soon find out that they have a special connection with each other. A strong connection that can't be broken.


Author's Note-
Greetings friends. It is time to start writing even more...junk. (I cry. lol) Anyway, I've been working on this fanfiction ever since 2016. So, for about fours years. If this story is good (I cry more. lol) I might make it into an audio drama in 2023 or whatever. (I still cry. lol) Why does everything I make look like crap!*cri*
OK...I just wanted to say...thank you so much to my friend Bloom for helping me write this. She is a good friend.Friends are Great :3
I am not sure how I got this idea. I just thought...Flurry Heart...Crystal Empire...Fan Fiction. Screw it...Imma gonna make a story and s pony is going to flipping stop me. *cry*I really like Flurry's personality in this fic cause she is loyal, funny, weird, lovable, frisky, adventurous, kind, generous and a bit insane. Also, I spent most of the time working on the character designs. I will post how they look like in DeviantArt...soon. Also, I just want to point out that Flurry Heart gets a little brother in one of the chapters. (Okay, I'll shut up ^^)
Well, this story is mostly going to contain a lot of shipping. Ships include- Flashlight, Soarindash, Starburst, Rarispike, and Fluttercord.
Good Bye Friends and Make Good Choices-

Credits-
The Creator {Me}
The other creator and editor (Bloom)
This Legit Art By zombie

Charterer Description-
Most Characters include next gen
Flurry Heart, Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are older in this fiction.

Blue Belle-

Blue Belle is Spike and Rarity's oldest daughter and a loyal friend to Flurry Heart. She joins the battalion as a soldier and a spy.
Mane Color-Green with Blue highlights.
Scale Color-Pale Purple with a fade of white on the tip.
Siblings- (TBA)\

Northern Blizzard-
A young stallion who joins the Crystal Empire Battalion as a medic. Becomes good friends with Blue Belle and Furry Heart.
Mane Color- Pale gray.
Coat Color- Light blue.
Race- Earth Pony.

Shadow Crystal-

He is King Sombra's son and future king. He has a huge crush on Flurry Heart.
Mane Color-Pale red with a darker fade.
Coat Color- Light gray with a darker fade
Race-Unicorn.

Ari-

She is a nice young filly who works as a Horex medic. Ari is selfless and calm, she will do anything to help her friends. She has a way of words.
Mane Color-A dark brown with scarlet highlights.
Coat Color-Light brown with darker flecks.

Oreo-

She a small kind snow wolf pup. Oreo is Ari's apprentice, she is training to be a medic like her. Sadly, she has a missing leg.
Fur Color-White and Black (Fur is messy) with light brown paws.
Eye Color- Dark green

Owl-

Starlight's friendly pet owl. She plays a role in the battalion as a spy also she can talk thanks to Trixie. She is Flurry Heart's good friend.
Feather Color #1- Light Brown with darker flecks.
Feather Color #2- dark tan with a black highlight.

Fauna-

Bloom's pet white-tailed fawn. And Owl's best friend.
Fur-Light brown with whites spots on her back.
Eye Color-Pale green.

Blitz Skylar-

Twilight and Flash's firstborn son. He is optimistic and outgoing, but he is not very good with making up ideas. Flurry worries that he will leade someone to danger.
Mane Color- Light purple with a darker fade
Coat Color- Dark magenta with a blue highlight

Twinkle Feather-

Blitz's younger sister- she is feisty but she tries not to be though.
Mane Color- a soft blue color
Coat Color- light purple

Light Searcher-

She is Rainbow Dash's and Soarin's frisky first born daughter. Light has a dream to be a Wonderbolt just like her parents. She also wants to join the Crystal Empire battalion but she is too young.
Mane Color-Pale red, dark blue, light orange, and dark green with a lighter fade.
Coat Color-Light blue with one white hoof.

Illusion Night-

Starlight and Sunburst's curious firstborn son. Just like Light Searcher- he wants to become a warrior as well, but sadly he can't.
Mane Color- Pink, Orange, and Blue
Coat Color- a very pale orange with white markings on his hooves, flank, forehead, and chest

Blackout-

Blackout is a large snow cat who plays a role as a soldier in Sombra's Army. He has three more siblings, Nightmist, Morningfern, and Dawntooth. Little did they know he has pure darkness lurking in his heart, he tries to control it but its hard
Pelt Color- Black and brown with white paws
Eye Color- Dark red

Nightmist-

She is a tall snow cat who is part of the quadruplets. She is the only cat who refused to eat mice and rabbits
Pelt Color- Light gray with white paws
Eye Color-Orange

Morningfern-

He is a large snow cat with light green icy eyes. He becomes good friends with Blue Belle and Flurry Heart on the last battle of the war.
Pelt Color- A dark brown with light brown paws
Eye Color- Icy light green

Dawntooth-

A beautiful snowcat with very good battling skills. She has sadly lost her voice. She is the only one who knows about Blackout's rage.
Pelt Color-Pale orange with a dark orange, pink, and red underbelly and white paws and chest.
Eye Color-Light blue with a cyan fade

Fester-

A small snowcat who lives in the edge of the winter wastelands with Millie the snow pony. He is loyal to both the Crystal Army and the Horex rebellion.
Pelt Color- Cadet blue with flecks of black across his back, a light blue, and dark blue underbelly with white hind paws.
Eye Color- A graceful cyan

Wither-

A young storyteller, he tells stories to the empire about Sombra's rage. He plays a role as a spy in the war.
Mane Color- Dark blue with a lighter fade.
Coat Color- a beautiful sky blue

Bloom Flowerwish-

A yellow mare who loves to sing and lives with her pet deer Fauna who has a feisty temper.
Mane Color-Green
Coat Color- Yellow

Sundown Silhouette -(me)

A young bat-pony alicorn with a broken horn. She is Tempest's mentor since she also has a broken horn. She plays a role as a medic and a soldier in the war.
Mane Color-A soft pink color with a darker pink fade with flecks of white
Coat Color-A cadet blue color

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 10 )

Love the idea of Flurry Heart and the son of Sombra teaming up. I'm not a fan of most romance, so that aspect takes me away from the story. That said, have a like :)

So, just curious. Is Radiant Hope the mother to Sombra's children.

Don’t feel bad. I was a little unsure when I wrote my first story. But, since then, I’m improving my writing. BTW, my first story is titled “Trading Memories”, if you want to read it.

9505807
No, it's somepony else. I'll reveal her name in one of the chapters. :yay:

9505874
Hmm, oh well. That's too bad.

Well, your grammar skills could definitely be a little better as you say. However, a bigger issue I see here is that the chapter is very... ‘explanatory’ in nature, as if your readers needed to be told everything at least twice, which doesn’t exactly help the atmosphere or the pace of the chapter. It also reflects in the characters’ slightly chlidish behaviour a little bit, namely if it weren’t for you stating Flurry’s age of twenty-one, I’d guess her to be five or something.

Still, I believe you have a grand story in your mind, it’s just a little rough around the edges right now. All that I listed above is something a good editor could easily fix. I can offer my helping hand in this regard, if you wish. Or you can just use the summary of the current state to find help elsewhere.

what happened Next I wanna know what happened next

9513056
Wait for it, my friend :)
I might post chapter one today or tomorrow :3

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