Cheerilee Investigates...the Terror of Canterlot!

by The Blue EM2

Confrontation

Cheerilee and Cozy Glow arrived in Denmark after a long and ardous journey. They travelled by jetpack, and in order to avoid detection by Canadian aircraft they spoke French the entire trip. Whilst dressed as Germans.

As an added precaution, they travelled on separate jetpacks, and not only that wore separate shoes on separate occasions. In order to further avoid detection whilst flying, the jetpacks were disguised as boats, which in turn were disguised to look like a Blackpool tram. All rather confusing, really.

For some reason, every student from Crystal Prep was on the jetpacks as well, accompianied by none other than Principal Cinch. When they were but ten miles from landing in Denmark, a great cry started up.

"Sky mine ahead!" shouted Coco Pommel. "Sky mine ahead! Great big sky mine ahead!"

"Why are all my students cowering below the decks?" asked Cinch. "Have they no confidence left in them?"

"There's a sky mine up ahead," Cheerilee bluntly informed her. Cinch began to run in the other direction. "Where are you going?"

"Anything to get away from that sky mine," Cinch replied. "And if I were you, I'd do the same!"

There was suddenly a loud splash. "Funny," Cheerilee pondered. "Cinch wasn't exactly dressed for swimming."

"It's OK!" Coco Pommel called again. "The sky mine is OK! It's one of ours!" But just then, the mine exploded. "Oh. Maybe it wasn't."

Cheerilee, Cinch, and Cozy Glow floated in the cold, cruel sea just off Denmark. Luckily, the three of them found a passing lifeboat. It had no oars, but it had two outboard motors and they rowed with those instead.

For thirty days and nights they drifted, and then hunger came upon them. "Oh dear," Cinch said, "if I don't eat soon, I'll die of hunger. And if I die I won't eat soon." Just then, her senses perked up and she looked about. "I do say, do I smell cooking, or do my ears deceive me?"

"Why would you detect smells with your ears?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Just roll with it," Cheerilee replied.

At the other end of the boat was a gas stove. Could this be the end of the search? Could this be the Phantom Cupcake Hurler of Canterlot?

"Excuse me, I'm in the bath!" cried a familiar, high pitched voice. A second later, Pinkie Pie popped up, wearing the same clothes as the chef whom Cheerilee had encountered a few weeks earlier. "You, Miss Cheerilee!"

"Indeed, me," Cheerilee replied, her face stern. "I leant you a match, remember?"

"Do you want them back?" Pinkie asked, handing a box over. "I tried using them but random stuff kept going on and artillery shells kept falling on me and-"

"Whatever," Cheerilee sighed. "Pinkamena Diane Pie, I hereby arrest you as the Phantom Cupcake Hurler of Canterlot?"

"But I'm the Dreaded Cupcake Hurler of Canterlot!" Pinkie Pie protested. "Not the Phantom Cupcake Hurler of Canterlot! And you're not even a policewoman!"

"Doesn't matter. I'm arresting you anyway. And this finger is loaded."

"If you kill me, you'll never take me alive!" Pinkie said.

"How do we prove that she is the hurler?" Cinch asked.

"She's been throwing up?" Cozy Glow asked, confused.

Cheerilee looked back. "Cozy Glow, please do get with the program. That cupcake in the gas stove is all the evicence we need. We have caught the Dreaded Cupcake Hurler of Canterlot at long last!"

---

But it was not as easy as they had hoped. For fourty more days and nights, thereby adding up to nearly six weeks adrift in a boat, they drifted in an open topped boat with nothing to protect them from the wind, the water, and the biting cold, not to mention the purpetual violin music.

"Miss Cheerilee," Cinch said, who was increasingly delerious. "Let us eat the cupcake in the gas stove."

"No, we can't," Cheerilee replied, herself looking increasingly crazed. "It's the only evidence we've got, and we need to keep it, or else nobody will know the truth." She paused. "Though I will admit this hunger does give one an appetite."

"Let's eat it!"

"No! Were you not listening earlier?"

"Very well," Cinch replied. "I shall stop playing my violin." Just then, the violin music stopped.

INTERJECTION FROM MR GREENSLADE

"That is of course, where our story ends. Except for, of course, the ending. Please do send me suggestions as what you want to happen. Should Cheerilee eat the cupcake and live? Or should she, in the course of justice, die? Please post your responses in the comments below. But of course, we must now have the true ending, for those of you who want one."

STORY WILL RESUME MOMENTARILY

Cheerilee was about to reply, but suddenly felt drowsy, and fell forward.

Moments later, she found herself looking up at a ceiling, painted white, with windows on her left and right. Sheep were outside, and there were lovely walls made of Yorkshire stone dotted about. As she sat up, she suddenly realised where she was. She was in Yorkshire on a trip to ride a steam working to Carlisle and back, alongside her daughter.

"Now THAT was the wackiest dream I've ever had," she said, and got out of bed to go and check on her child, who was a few doors down from her. She walked along the corridor and opened the door. There was Scootaloo, lying on the floor for some reason. "Are you OK?"

"Mom, I had the wierdest dream," Scootaloo replied, looking her directly in the eye. "That teaches me to eat cheese before going to bed again."

"Well, it seems I have to learn the same lesson," Cheerilee sighed. "As I had a seriously weird one as well. But you can tell me all about it over breakfast. After all, we have a train to catch, which leaves from Settle in about three hours."

And so, away went mother and daughter for breakfast, as they had a busy day ahead of them, with not a cupcake in sight."

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading what is possibly the most surreal story I have ever written. A work of complete nonsense, I hope you enjoyed.

Comments

[The Blue EM2]

The Goons had a habit of doing that. More to-morrow.

[The Blue EM2]

9877748
That is a very Goons ending.

[sunset-starlight]

"Anything to get away from that sky mine," Cinch replied. "And if I were you, I'd do the same!"

EqG reference.

[The Blue EM2]

10564138
Indeed.