Constructive Criticism
Rainbow Dash flew out of the teacher's meeting. In her anger, she was worried that she might say something she'd regret, so left the gathering early. She'd just have to apologize later. At that moment, however, she couldn't be around anyone until she cooled her head.
“Rainbow Dash!”
It was one of the last ponies Dash wanted to hear just then. Fortunately, Rainbow could fly, and the other pony could not, and so the pegasus zoomed through the air toward her home.
About an hour later, she heard the same pony yell, “Knock, knock!” from somewhere below her cloud floor.
Dash groaned, wishing that water particles were more soundproof. Then she bit back a smart aleck remark, and counted to ten.
“Cider for your thoughts, Rainbow?”
“Did you say cider?” Dash sprang out of her bedroom and shot out the front door.
Applejack was standing on the ground, two mugs of cider gripped in her front hoof.
Rainbow flitted down to her level and accepted the offering. “I'm sorry I left the meeting early,” she said, finally feeling contrite in the face of this gesture of goodwill. “I guess I owe Twilight an apology too.”
“Stormed off in a huff is more like it.” AJ sighed. “I know you're disappointed, Dash. I am too.” She walked over to a bench on the side of the road and sat down. Rainbow joined her, sipping on the sweet cider.
“I was so convinced that this time the students would finally pick me to be Teacher o' the Month,” continued Applejack. “I taught the kiddos how to play buckball and gave 'em snacks and juice boxes. I thought for sure that would do the trick.”
Dash leaned against the back of the bench. “Yeah, see, maybe your problem is that you're treating them like they're five.”
“No way!” AJ waved her foreleg. “They all had a blast! I mean, sure, I quit lettin' 'em chew gum in class, but that's only on account of they kept stickin' chewed-up wads on my tree!”
“Well, I'll be the first to admit that I stank as a teacher when we first started, but I've become so much better since Twilight threw out that crummy rule book! I let the students do relay races and I taught them how to do crazy trust exercises!”
Applejack arched an eyebrow as only she could. “I taught you those trust exercises!”
“Oh, yeah,” admitted Rainbow. “But I also bring Tank in once a week! The kids love him!” She took a swig of cider before lightly swirling it in her mug. “I figured that if I let the students do all the things I liked doing in school, they'd love my classes. And they'd love me.”
Applejack stared into her own mug. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this teachin’ business. ‘Professor Applejack’ still sounds weird.” She frowned and shook her blond head. “I didn’t even like school all that much when I was a foal, to tell you the truth. Our teacher made us memorize all these boring facts and she didn’t explain why we would need to know them in our adult lives.”
“I know what you mean, AJ. The worst part for me was being forced to sit still for hours on end,” said Dash, flicking her tail in irritation at the memory. “That’s why I’m always having my class race and play outside.”
“It sounds like both of us took our bad experiences and tried to do the opposite.” Applejack waved her hoof between herself and Rainbow. “We’re doin’ the things that we would’ve wanted to do in school.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean everpony – uh, everycreature wants to do the things we want to do. I just wish I knew what they did want.”
“So do I.”
Silence fell as the two ponies sipped their cider to the dregs. Applejack frowned and looked away, rubbing her hoof over the rim of her mug.
“Bit for your thoughts?” asked Rainbow.
“You don't got a bit, do you?”
“Oh come on!” Dash waved her foreleg. “It's a figure of speech! You of all ponies should know that!”
“All right, all right!” AJ took a deep breath and lowered her eyebrows in a resigned expression. “I got an idea.”
“So? Is it a bad idea?”
Applejack shook her head. “No, but it ain't gonna be pleasant.”
“Hey kids, I have a special assignment for you!” said Dash, one day later. “Ocellus, will you please pass out these papers?”
“Okay.” The changeling flew over and took the stack of papers from Rainbow's hooves.
“All you have to do is write down what you think I can do to be a better teacher.” Dash forced a grin. “That's a normal thing for students to do near the end of the year, right? And we’ve been at this for nine months, so it’s pretty much the end of the year.”
“Wow, has it been that long!?” exclaimed Silverstream. “It seems like we've only been here for a few weeks! The time has just flown!”
“Speak for yourself,” Gallus said wryly.
“Be honest with your suggestions,” Rainbow spoke over him. “And don't put your names on them. I don't want to know who wrote which comment. But I encourage everycreature to be a team player and participate! If every one of you turns in a suggestion, the entire class will get a special surprise!”
The students whispered amongst themselves.
Ocellus's mouth turned into a squiggly line as she hooved a sheet of paper to Silverstream. “Um, Professor Dash? Won't you recognize our hoofwriting? Or mouth- or clawwriting?”
Rainbow waved a wing. “Just write with your non-dominant hoof or whatever. Or ask a friend to write down your suggestion for you.”
“All right, Professor. I'll do my best.”
After hours the next day, Dash counted the papers she'd collected from the students. She made sure she had feedback from each pupil before scooping up her stack of pages in her forelegs and flapping over to Applejack's classroom.
“Hey, AJ,” she greeted. “Got all your comments?”
Raising her stack upright, Applejack tapped the edge against her desk. “Every last one! C'mon, pull up a seat.”
Rainbow scooted a stool toward the desk and sat down next to her friend. “Are you sure you wanna read these together?”
Applejack shrugged. “I reckon we can give each other moral support.”
Or join in the roasting, thought Dash. “All right, I'm up for it.” She picked up the top page from her pile with her primary feathers and read, “You say 'awesome' too much.” She lowered the paper and furrowed her brow. “I mean, I guess I say 'awesome' a lot. But that's only because I think so many things are awesome!”
“Like you?” deadpanned AJ.
And there was the roasting, so soon. “Not just me,” insisted Rainbow. “The Wonderbolts, Daring Do, Tank, our friends . . .” She ticked off each list item on her outstretched flight feathers. “I guess I could say 'radical' instead of 'awesome' sometimes, to mix it up a bit.”
“You could try that. To be honest, I don't think it makes you a bad teacher if you say 'awesome' too often. I'll go next.” Lifting a note in her hoof, Applejack read, “Your accent is hard to understand.” She narrowed her green eyes. “Really? Do you think my accent is hard to understand, Dash?”
Rainbow tilted her head. “What did you say?”
“Oh, stop!” Applejack playfully punched Dash's shoulder.
“Okay, seriously,” said Rainbow, rubbing the spot where the earth pony's hoof had struck, “I don't think you're that hard to understand. I mean, when we first met, I had a little trouble figuring out what you were saying, but it only took me a day to get used to the way you talk.” She shrugged her wings. “I think this student is the one with the problem, if you ask me.”
“I could perchance pronounce my words in the fashion of the most learned scholar, so that my pupils will hear and comprehend my statements, and that I might sound pleasing to the auditory senses.” Applejack tossed her thick mane and held her foreleg to her chest. “Do you not find my voice pleasing, Professor Dash?”
Rainbow gaped at her. “You could talk like that the whole time?”
“Well, I'm a mite rusty.” AJ slid back into her customary drawl. “You shoulda heard me back when I was stayin' with my Aunt and Uncle Orange. Them upper-crust Manehattanites had trouble understandin' me too, till I started soundin' like them. But I couldn't keep up the act for long. I s'pose if it's an issue, I could tell the kids to ask me to repeat myself if I say somethin' they don't get.”
“Honestly, I wouldn't even worry about it if I were you. If the one who wrote that comment really has trouble understanding you, they can take the initiative to speak up and tell you themselves, or they can ask one of their friends to translate. Now let's move onto the next comment.” Dash picked up a new sheet. “Be more like Fluttershy.” She flung the paper into the air in exasperation, and the paper swirled a short distance before landing on the hardwood floor.
“Oh come on!” she yelled at the creature who wasn't there in person. “You think I haven't thought of that!? It doesn't work! I already tried copying each of my friends so I would stand out in a positive way – including Fluttershy!”
“When was that?” asked AJ with a thoughtful frown.
“You know how I had a rough first day training with the Wonderbolts? After that, I tried imitating each of our friends – including you, by the way – but the other 'Bolts just looked at me like I was crazy.”
“I bet. That comment was really unhelpful. I know we're not s'posed to know who wrote it, but . . .”
“No. No buts.” Dash’s multicolored locks bounced as she shook her head. “I don't think I wanna know, anyway. Just read another one of yours, AJ.”
Another page, another outrage. “You are a fruitist. Apples aren’t the only fruit in the world, and they aren’t even the best.” Applejack's pupils shrank. “I'm sorry, I don't think the words 'apples' and 'aren't the best' are supposed to be used in the same sentence like that.”
“Um.” Rainbow carefully patted AJ's shoulder, trying to figure out how best to proceed. “I'm pretty sure you just helped make their point.”
“But . . .” Applejack’s jaw tightened. “Okay, so I ranted about strawberries one time . . .”
“I'm pretty sure it was more than one time.”
“You didn't let me finish!” Applejack held up her foreleg. “In front o' the younguns, I was gonna say.”
“I'm still not sure that was just one time,” Rainbow said quietly.
“I . . .” AJ's ears drooped. “I reckon I could stop bad-mouthin' other fruits.”
“But you're still gonna think other fruits are bad?”
“Not all of 'em. Pears, grapes, and citrus fruits are okay.”
Dash gave her friend what she hoped was an encouraging smile. “That’s a start! Here’s an idea: how about you ask your class to bring in different fruits to share? That way some of them would get to try new foods. Somecreature might even learn something,” she added meaningfully.
“We'll see,” grumbled Applejack. “Next!”
The newest suggestion hit hard. “You should stop talking about yourself so much.” Rainbow's heart sank. “Oh.”
Even AJ seemed at a loss for words, and Rainbow could tell that it wasn't because she was trying to suppress her hatred of strawberries. Her emerald eyes softened with sympathy.
“It's just . . .” Rainbow swallowed. “I learn from experience, you know? How am I supposed to teach the kids about friendship if I don't talk about my own experience with my friends?”
“I was just teasin’ before, you know.” Applejack rested her hoof on Dash's back. “Really, the gals and I are used to you talkin' about yourself. It ain't no thing. Maybe some of these kids are just jealous.”
Rainbow sighed. “It's tempting to throw out this whole thing and make excuses and say they're just jealous and they don't know what they're talking about. But then where are we?”
AJ hung her head. “We're back to where we started, aren't we? Stuck in a rut and not gettin' that Employee of the Month trophy.”
“Teacher,” corrected Rainbow.
“Right, what did I say?”
“Never mind, I think you get the point. We have to take this feedback seriously and do whatever we can to win these kids over.” Dash straightened her back, her mouth set in a grim line.
“When you’re right, you’re right,” said AJ, rippling her shoulders. “The truth can hurt, but it might just give us the edge to win if make the effort to change.”
Dash took a deep breath and held up the next sheet of paper in her wingtips. “This is a long one.”
Applejack shifted a page aside and picked up the one underneath. “This one's long, too.”
“I'm almost afraid to read mine. You read yours first. Besides, it's your turn.”
AJ took a deep breath and cleared her throat.
“Most of the schools I've been to had the students do surveys on the last day of class instead of two weeks before the end of the year. If this is about the Teacher of the Month trophy, I don't know if I can give you any helpful suggestions. You see, being picked for Teacher of the Month is just a popularity contest. And I'm never going to win any popularity contests, myself. I've made peace with that a long time ago. Don't get me wrong, I've made a lot of friends at this school, but I don't really stand out as cool, fun, or smart. I just try to be there for my friends and let them know that I'm always there to help. Sometimes I wish I were a little more interesting, but then I remember that my friends like me the way I am.
“But enough about me. I guess my only suggestion is not to worry about getting picked for Teacher of the Month. Unless you get bonus pay for it, that is.”
“We don't,” murmured Rainbow.
Applejack kept reading. “But still, I think all you have to do is be the best teacher you can be. And if you ever feel unappreciated, I want you to know that a lot of creatures enjoy your classes. I know I do! I like how informal you are, and who doesn't love having a tree in the middle of their classroom? You're not like any other professor I've ever met, and that's a good thing!”
Reaching the end of the note, Applejack carefully hugged it to her chest. “Why, that was the sweetest thing anyone besides my family has ever written to me!” She glanced at Dash. “What does yours say, sugar cube?”
Rainbow raised her paper in front of her face and read out loud.
“For what it's worth, I voted for you the last two times. That's worth a lot, buddy,” Dash editorialized before returning to a straight reading. “I love all my teachers! It's hard to pick just one. I wish every professor could be teacher of the month. I just want everycreature to be happy. Maybe Fluttershy appeals to the majority of students, but it's all subjective, you know? Who's to say which professor is the best teacher? Who's to say which teaching style is best? I know a creature who loved one of the substitute teachers and keeps asking Headmare Twilight to get her to come back!
“Besides, I have a hunch that years from now we won't remember which professor was chosen for Teacher of the Month. We'll remember the teachers that took the time to get to know us. We'll remember the teachers that made lessons fun and creative, the way you do! And I love your enthusiasm and the way you get everycreature to participate, even the shy ones. I know how much you want to be the best, but you're already a fabulous teacher, and you don't need some award to tell you that!
“Aw!” said Rainbow after she finished, her eyes crinkling. “It's like my mom wrote it!”
AJ rubbed her chin. “Do you s’pose the same creature wrote both our notes, or did two creatures coordinate?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure Yona didn’t write either of them, unless she had a lot of help.”
“Nope. But I know one creature who would have the motivation: Ocellus. Think about it – changelings feed off o' love and other positive vibes.” Applejack waved her foreleg. “She doesn't want us goin' round bein' all disgruntled and spoilin' her food supply.”
“Ocellus definitely has a good motive,” said Dash. “But there's no way to know for sure it was her. Besides, didn't your letter say they went to other schools? How many schools would the changeling hive have?”
“I don’t think she wrote both of them, but she might’ve inspired one of her friends to write mine,” said Applejack, lightly tapping her page.
“We're not really supposed to know who wrote them. . .” Rainbow tilted her head and stared up at the high ceiling with its exposed wooden beams. “Although, if one of Ocellus’s friends wrote it, that does narrow it down.”
“Yeah.” AJ drew herself up. “Well, whoever this kid is, we taught 'em well.”
“Darn right!” Rainbow grinned. “Any kid who writes like this obviously understands friendship. If we taught them that, we're doing a great job!”
“Sure as sugar!” Applejack glanced down at the remaining unread pages. “Let's not read any more comments, Dash. At least not tonight.”
“Yeah,” agreed Rainbow. “Let's quit while we're ahead.”
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You immediately have my interest.
A nice little thought piece. Subdued, but a heck of a lot more enjoyable than the episode that inspired it. Thank you for it.
Now normally, I'm against the idea of these stories because they're reactionary and written to "fix" non-issues simply because they disagree with the direction of the episode and miss its point altogether.
But this was admittedly entertaining and well done.
Alrighty, miss, you earned a like and a fave from me.
Adding this to my personal canon. And following you, because apparently, I forgot to do that while reading So You Escaped From Limbo.
This is a much better take than the episode, which I would put among the five worst episodes of the entire series. Good for you for handling it in such an even, insightful way.
9469944
Thanks! At least some good came out of that episode.
9469963
For me, fix fics and episode revisions are a mixed bag. I've read some that I liked, but there are others that "fix" episodes that I don't think need to be fixed, like you pointed out. I'm glad you thought mine was well done, though.
9470193
Thanks!
9470444
Thanks for the follow! And I really should finish "Escaped From Limbo" sometime this year.
I had an idea of who wrote those last two notes, and it looks like I was right.
I think the real problem with "Non-Compete Clause" was that the writers got too focused on playing up the scenario for laughs that the intended moral became a bit of an afterthought, and thus it feels just sort of...stuffed in there and blatant. Had they done the reverse--focused more on setting up for the moral and a little less on the laughs--the episode could've been, at the very least, salvageable.
Anyway, one of the better reaction fics I've read or seen for the episode, in that it stays very level-headed about it, to the point that I don't think calling it a "reaction fic" really does it justice. Reaction fics then to be implusive and venting. This one was thought out and calm, the exact opposite.
Congratulations, I think that this might be one of the best "fix fics" that actually accomplishes the purpose of fixing the original story by having the characters actually, y'know, BE in character and not painfully regress for the sake of forced "comedy".
This was really nice to read, especially because most of the other fics written about Non-Compete Clause just rake Dash and AJ over the coals and basically completely ignore the fact that this is a show about friendship, forgiveness, and growing to be better.
Anyway, enough of my grumbling about the failings of other stories. This was a real treat to read, good job! Have a fav and an upvote!
9470885
I tried to give hints without making it too obvious. Hopefully it worked.
9471209
Thanks! Maybe I wasn't giving myself enough credit by calling it a reaction fic.
9471232
Without naming any names, I will say that the problem I've found with most "accusation fics" is that they don't get to the heart of the episode's failings. The problem with "Non-Compete Clause" isn't that RD and AJ don't get any comeuppance, it's that they behaved the way they did in the first place. They acted out of character within the series' continuity.
This is perfect. Also, regarding the last part of your author's note, you ship those two, don't you?
9567993
Thanks! And yeah, I do kinda ship them.
10/10. Love It!
Great story. It very smart of you to let a few weeks to pass after the episode to get a better less raged filled mind to tackle the story. Very interesting take here.
9636443
Thank you! Sometimes there's an advantage to writing slowly.
Yep, this would have been a better episode.
I find this part of AJ and RD to be relatable in more way than one. At least for me personally.
Who the hell is gonna complain about that? That seems a wee bit far-fetched.
I stand corrected. This IS a legitimate issue.
I will say. What you wrote was far better and more constructive than the episode itself. I enjoyed every part of it. Two thumbs up for this. 👍👍
You probably should be using the alternative universe tag; if you're playing the episode straight until you decide to subvert it or replace it entirely, it's the very definition of AU/What If-type situations (even if it's a softer AU) that aren't *quite* about the episodes themselves (because of the obvious change). It easily fits within the tag description here: "Changing the outcome of major events, large setting changes, or anything else that represents a large break from canon, particularly if the change is something that does not happen during the story itself. " Link if you wanna look for yourself.
9730453
Glad you enjoyed it! I've found that the "fruitist" thing is more exaggerated in fanon than in the show (usually for comedic purposes), but the Apple family does have a history of hating pears.
Yeah, if I hadn't looked it up on the mlp Wiki, I wouldn't have remembered that episode at all, usually I can at least recall basic details about a given episode with a little thought. This was a cute and cuddly reworking of one of the more forgettable episodes this show has ever done. I'm liking and adding it to my library.
9869486
Thanks! Glad you liked it. And I think I would have forgotten about this episode if the ending hadn't pissed me off.
OK this episode Non-Compete Clause Did not go very well like Fall Weather Friends applejack and rainbow dash Are so competitive with each other But the none complete course is kind of Taken it a little bit too far And this was the young 6 Appeared And to be honest I wanted to see more of those kids but anyway It happens
OK now after reading this story this is actually pretty nice way to get some advice from the kids even though some of them is Mean and some right dumb but but there is a lot of good evidence to applejack and rainbow dash And I really enjoy that and yeah Non-Compete Clause was Frustrating episode I admit But this story was pretty good so nice job that was nice of Sandbar and Ocellus for saying those nice word
I'm so glad I crossed this piece! I felt insulted by Non-Compete Clause - it was painful to watch all that arguing and fake collaboration turning into more arguing, like years of friendship meant nothing and Rainbow Dash and Applejack straight-up hated each other.
Your fanfic on the other hand is really enjoyable. Their characterization is on point and it's easy to see the friendship between them. I could keep reading for more 10000 words without getting tired. Nice work
10564301
Thank you! Applejack/Rainbow Dash is one of my favorite duos to write about, and I wanted to do them justice after the poor way they were portrayed Non-Compete Clause. I'm glad you thought the characters were in-character.
Do you have anyone in particular who wrote the negative ones?
10659420 There's this one, for example: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/414986/imprisoned-but-not-alone
10659762
lol i was talking about the negative suggestions in your fic
but the one you sent me did seem bad
10660478
Ohhhh, I get it. Well, most of the suggestions are from random background characters, but Gallus wrote that Rainbow says awesome too much because he couldn't think of anything else to write. And Smolder wrote that AJ was hard to understand. I figured that since none of the dragons have a Southern drawl, she probably did have trouble understanding AJ at first, but she's gotten used to it by the time this episode takes place. Again, it's a matter of having trouble thinking of a suggestion.
10660576
okay, just seeing if any of the young six wrote be more like fluttershy 🤣
Couldn't anyone besides the one student who was polite actually offer some constructive feedback. Applejack is an apple farmer which means she likes apples best of all. This whole story seems like insult the teachers instead helping them be the best they can be.
10746236
Most of the students' comments are based on actual complaints I've seen from fans, although some of them might be tongue-in-cheek, such as Applejack being a fruitist. Most of the entertainment value for me was writing the two protagonists' reactions to the comments. Plus they started defending each other when before they had been rivals. But I guess I can see how it's not everyone's cup of tea.
10746276
I guess. It just seems mean when they want constructive criticism so they can be better teachers almost every comment was a thin veil insult isn't a good thing. After all if you are asking for tips on how to do your job better you wouldn't want insults. But your the author.
Awesome. The description creates a false impression that this situation will turn out to be another comedic vanshot, when in fact everything is serious. This is very surprising, give a nice contrast.
tests showing how much the level of knowledge of students has increased
10259785
what 's wrong with evil ?
10746294
the fact that these are insults does not make them unconstructive
11356156
In order for them to be constructive they would have offer more than just an insult. Considering nobody offered any ideas on what they could do better. Exactly how are they supposed to understand how to be better if complaining is all they get and not like I have a problem I wish to talk about it complaining. These are just insults.
11356153
What do you mean I didn't say anything about evil
11356175
translare eror. "is Mean" not evil
11356161
before start arguing about concepts, what do you mean by constructive criticism?
11356223
Okay fine but what are you talking about evil
11356232
I don't understand what you're writing.
11356226
Explain how they could be better. They complained about Applejack having an accent yet that is the way she talks. And yes she thinks apples are the best food considering she is an apple farmer who destiny is to farm apples. I doubt any other farmer doesn't think their food is the best. The only one that was good Explain they believed they were good teachers and they may have flaws but they aren't doing a bad job.
11356252
. I meant criticism.
you just said that all farmers wear rose-colored glasses (except 1, who really has the best). I don't know the exact words, so I'll just call it very racist
bye
11356246
when you said that what are you talking about evil your not making any sense
11356334
I already said