• Member Since 31st Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen 20 minutes ago

FoolAmongTheStars


Just another dummy on the internet, with too much imagination and not enough time on their hands. Sometimes I write cohesive stuff...mostly StarBurst.

Comments ( 49 )

hmm, nice. A good mix of well-written clop and romance. A few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, but nothing egregious enough to take me out of the story. 7.5/10

9497811
Thank you, glad you like it! I tried my best with the grammar and spelling but some still manage to slip through :facehoof:
If you could point them out, I would be happy to fix them.

Very Nice Story! Keep up the good work, friend ^^

I can't wait for the next chapter!!

9533212
I'm working as fast as I can! :pinkiehappy:

9536371
Thanks a lot! I love writing this!

Maybe Sunburst could find a way to put into words how incredible this story is?

Im in love with this chapter!
Ahhh!!

This was beautiful! I loved every moment of reading this even as this passion was undercut with some element of sadness. I wonder what prevents these two from being together, what hidden secret keeps their love from being full. Regardless I was completely invested and am quite curious.

9571111
Thanks for the lovely comment.

I thought I made it obvious in the chapter, but for clarification: Sunburst is seeing someone else (whoever it is I leave it up to interpretation), he's still very much attracted to Starlight and he's torn between his feelings for her and his commitment to his SO.
I wasn't going to addressed it at first, but it didn't feel genuine to leave it at that so hence the sad and abrupt ending. I might write a sequel for this chapter, if I see an interest for this story line.

I smell an impending breakup.

Also, "hoofs" should be "hooves." I saw that in a few places.

I need a sequel for this, curiosity is killing me

9571667
I see. I was bit confused but it was late when I read/commented and just wrote what was on my mind. Re-reading it I get that more. I really like the story and the context adds a lot more to the subtle acts of attraction, the reason why he didn't dance and them hiding from the guards. Another layer to their heated sensual liaison. I'm fine with you leaving this a one-shot but if you do add a sequel, here in this erotic collection or even in you 'Bits and Pieces collection', I think it would be find not letting us know who Sunburst's SO is in the story. That's not necessarily important who they are but the fact that Sunburst is conflicted and that if they want moments they have to sneak around. The ambiguity really helps with the atmosphere.

I just want to say that I'm glad you are really giving this Ship, over all, the attention it deserves with what you have written and I eagerly await you next story about these two. You rock! :scootangel:

...possible honeymoon scene at some point?

9633879
Maaaaaaayyyyyyybeeeeee....I mean, I kind of do want to write a fic about them getting married but I'm too lazy I've got to many stories on my back burner as is :pinkiesad2:

I like the power dynamics going on here!

"I was thinking of the way you look at me."

Roll credits!

This is one beautiful chapter. There are such strong feelings and a lot of emotions without any explicit scenes. I love it! :3

So jealous of you, I wish I could write Sunburst and Starlight as good as you. Safe or NSFW you're the best around.

Absolutely brilliant stuff.
I love the mix of smut and fluff. All mixed in ally well tohether.

Yeah, this definitely needs a sequel (though I'm a bit late to the party on this one)

Beautiful and sensual. Love Starlight taking the lead and Sunburst's shyness.

Delightfully sensual. Love Starlight's bit of insecurity and Sunburst respecting her limits and being gentle.

Not going to lie, I'm enjoying the glut of cute fluffy sex.

Very sweet. I could see Sunny teasing Starlight like that. I like the longing each feel for the other.

Also Glimglam's vulnerability was a nice touch.

Love how they take turns dominating each other.

Really sweet. Love touches like Starlight cheering up Sunburst after a tough day at work and Sunburst getting towels so she won't slip. Shows they're lovers not just fuck buddies.

holy fuck their conversation at the end was adorable <3

From "A Horse Shoe-In"

Sunburst: ...And working in a school is what I always thought I'd do! I mean if you'll have me?
Starlight: Are you kidding?? OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!!! Gyaahh uhhhh errr, I mean... You're hired!! Y-you're hired is what I said!

10316175
I would place this chapter after the events of Horse Shoe-In. I like to think that they go to the Crystal Empire on the weekends or holidays to relax and be together without any interruptions, and have their kinky fun of course :raritywink:

You needn’t rewrite some of your story to fit the show’s canon, least of all the final season’s, which was just bad.

This is probably my favorite installment so far, and not just because it was my idea

10581744
The final season was great.

Oh that was good. I liked the keeping count nod to the chapter number as well.

It was nice seeing that little conflict of Sunburst trying to question what their relationship was, but eventually failing. It's a very human thing.
Also given the perspective that it all works out in the end (assuming they're all the same continuity) takes most of the sting out of the bittersweet nature of things.

10583725

Oh that was good. I liked the keeping count nod to the chapter number as well.

Nice catch! I was fearing that nobody would notice it.

It was nice seeing that little conflict of Sunburst trying to question what their relationship was, but eventually failing. It's a very human thing.

I like to think he has more backbone than the fans give him credit for, but considering he's like Starlight in the way that he didn't have many friends growing up (much less a girlfriend) the poor boy is confused if what he's feeling is something more.

Also given the perspective that it all works out in the end (assuming they're all the same continuity) takes most of the sting out of the bittersweet nature of things.

They eventually have a much-needed god-I-love-you-so-much-don't-ever-leave-me-make-up-sex heart to heart, later on. So it all works out :pinkiehappy:

Very nice addition :)

vignettes and one shots

What's the difference?

10693864
vignettes are shorter while one-shots are longer :twilightsmile:

From "A Horse Shoe-In"

Sunburst: ...and working in a school is what I always thought I'd do! I mean if you'll have me?
Starlight: Are you kidding?? OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU!!! Gyah! Errr... uhhh.... I mean... You're hired! Y-you're hired is what I said!

Not the actual conversation, but it might as well be. Even Sunburst's "if you'll have me?" sounds like an old-timey marriage proposal.

That was both hot and adorable.

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