This was beautiful! I loved every moment of reading this even as this passion was undercut with some element of sadness. I wonder what prevents these two from being together, what hidden secret keeps their love from being full. Regardless I was completely invested and am quite curious.
I thought I made it obvious in the chapter, but for clarification: Sunburst is seeing someone else (whoever it is I leave it up to interpretation), he's still very much attracted to Starlight and he's torn between his feelings for her and his commitment to his SO. I wasn't going to addressed it at first, but it didn't feel genuine to leave it at that so hence the sad and abrupt ending. I might write a sequel for this chapter, if I see an interest for this story line.
9571667 I see. I was bit confused but it was late when I read/commented and just wrote what was on my mind. Re-reading it I get that more. I really like the story and the context adds a lot more to the subtle acts of attraction, the reason why he didn't dance and them hiding from the guards. Another layer to their heated sensual liaison. I'm fine with you leaving this a one-shot but if you do add a sequel, here in this erotic collection or even in you 'Bits and Pieces collection', I think it would be find not letting us know who Sunburst's SO is in the story. That's not necessarily important who they are but the fact that Sunburst is conflicted and that if they want moments they have to sneak around. The ambiguity really helps with the atmosphere.
I just want to say that I'm glad you are really giving this Ship, over all, the attention it deserves with what you have written and I eagerly await you next story about these two. You rock!
This was beautiful! I loved every moment of reading this even as this passion was undercut with some element of sadness. I wonder what prevents these two from being together, what hidden secret keeps their love from being full. Regardless I was completely invested and am quite curious.
9571111
Thanks for the lovely comment.
I thought I made it obvious in the chapter, but for clarification: Sunburst is seeing someone else (whoever it is I leave it up to interpretation), he's still very much attracted to Starlight and he's torn between his feelings for her and his commitment to his SO.
I wasn't going to addressed it at first, but it didn't feel genuine to leave it at that so hence the sad and abrupt ending. I might write a sequel for this chapter, if I see an interest for this story line.
I smell an impending breakup.
Also, "hoofs" should be "hooves." I saw that in a few places.
I need a sequel for this, curiosity is killing me
9571667
I see. I was bit confused but it was late when I read/commented and just wrote what was on my mind. Re-reading it I get that more. I really like the story and the context adds a lot more to the subtle acts of attraction, the reason why he didn't dance and them hiding from the guards. Another layer to their heated sensual liaison. I'm fine with you leaving this a one-shot but if you do add a sequel, here in this erotic collection or even in you 'Bits and Pieces collection', I think it would be find not letting us know who Sunburst's SO is in the story. That's not necessarily important who they are but the fact that Sunburst is conflicted and that if they want moments they have to sneak around. The ambiguity really helps with the atmosphere.
I just want to say that I'm glad you are really giving this Ship, over all, the attention it deserves with what you have written and I eagerly await you next story about these two. You rock!
Yeah, this definitely needs a sequel (though I'm a bit late to the party on this one)