Changing History

by Darkstarling

The Dynamic Duo

A number of thoughts flashed through my head as she lifted me by the neck and slammed me against the wall. She clearly didn’t want me dead just yet. The one-limb lifting slam is a classic for intimidation, but only among amateurs with more muscles than sense. It’s way too easy to escape. That and the nervous glance up and down the alley before she, yes, leaned forward to glare in my face was a dead giveaway that she was new to the game. Probably in over her head. I suppressed my instinctive response (counter number three, headbutt followed by double legged buck to the chest) and decided to listen to what she had to say.

Thinking on it, it’s possible I have entirely too much experience being jumped by thugs.

“Alright dork, listen up,” she growled. “You’ve got some real nasty customers following you. And they aren’t friendly like me.” She tried for an intimidating smirk. It...didn’t work. “So you’re going to do what I say and maybe, if you’re very very lucky, we’ll be able to save your fuzzy pony flank. Got it?”

I would have raised my eyebrows if I wasn’t more concerned with being able to breathe. The other reasons only amateurs go for the neck lift is that it makes conversation difficult. I quickly nodded, urgently gesturing to her talon while carefully avoiding struggling. Your typical griffin, struggling makes them instinctively grip harder. But..

“Oh, right,” she said sheepishly, and let go.

I thumped to the ground, internally nodding to myself. Yep, your typical in-over-their-head thug isn’t used to violence. They’ll stop once they’ve won, unless they’ve really nerved themselves up.

Oh Harmony. I really, really have too much practice at this.

“Well...good! Good. Glad to see you know what’s good for you.” She paced a circle nervously before turning to glare at me again. “That was easier than I thought. You sure you’re really Daring Do?”

I briefly considered pulling the old body double routine. This one looked like the type to fall for it. But then I wouldn’t learn anything.

“Hey, we all have our bad days,” I said, getting up and brushing myself off. I made a point to adjust the angle of my hat. “Besides, it’s not every day I get ambushed.” True, by technicality at least. “And it’s not just anycreature who can get the drop on me either. Good work on that grab.” Eh, blatant flattery never hurts. And encouraging poor practices in your enemies is just common sense.

“Heh, yeah, I am pretty awesome,” she said, polishing her claws on her feathers before wincing for some reason. Huh.

“I can tell. Definitely a different quality than the usual muscle I deal with.” Also technically true. “Who are you anyway, and who has the luck to have a bird like you on their side?”

“You don’t need to know that. What matters now is…”

“GILDA? Hey Gilda where are you? Gildaaaa...oh, there you are!”

I raised my eyebrows as another griffin touched down in the alley. The first, Gilda apparently, smacked her face with her claws.

“Darn it you moron, what did I tell you? Three times? Starts with ‘Don’t’ and ends with ‘use our real names’?”

“You said to not use our real names, because only an idiot would use their real name on a secret mission! So I thought, if everyone knows that, then I should call you by your real name. Because then a real hero like Daring Do would think your real name was anything but your real name!’

She nodded to herself in satisfaction. Gilda stared.

“Gee, finally a good idea from you… that you just explained in front of Daring!”

“Oh I sure did…’Gilda’,” she replied with a broad wink and an elbow, before turning to me and extending a friendly talon. “Hi! I’m Gabby!”

“Daring Do. It’s a pleasure to meet you, I suppose.”

I shook her claw in bemusement. Even among the most rank of amateurs, this was not how these encounters usually went.

I took a moment to look at the pair of them again, now I was pretty sure this wouldn't turn into a real fight. Gilda, a powerful cross between a bald eagle and a lion, currently grinding her beak in frustration at her companion. And Gabby, an osprey crossed with a grey lynx. They were a study in contrasts. Hard and soft, talky and taciturn. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gabby was humble to match Gilda’s obvious vanity.

Griffins believe in a whole system of traits and talents from their animal combinations, and some of them get as intense about it as we ponies do with cutie marks. I didn’t know if I believed it myself, and I sure didn’t have the charts memorized. But I was pretty sure these two would never have chosen each other’s company, had been stuck together on purpose, and that with a few years experience they’d either be a great team or tear each other apart. Griffins also believe in improvement through conflict.

“So...you two are with the GIS?” I asked. It was a shot in the dark, but not as much as you’d think. I’d dealt with the Griffin Intelligence Service before, and I recognized that particular brand of crazy logic.

Gilda puffed up her chest and nodded. “Yeah. Provisional Special Investigators Gilda and Gabby.”

I nodded. It explained a lot. Griffin Special Investigators were part of a mutual treaty with Equestria. A type of ‘official’ spy, like ambassadors, who accepted certain limits in return for immunity from prosecution. Celestia said that the more Griffons knew, and especially the more they thought they were getting away with, the less likely it was that they’d start a war over a misunderstanding.

It was also usually considered an introductory position. ‘Provisional Special Investigator’ was spy speak for ‘so fresh it hasn’t been picked yet’.

“Well, good to know I’m dealing with professionals at least,” I said aloud. Technically true, as I at least presumed they were being paid. Though with the Griffin government you can never be sure. “That doesn’t explain why the GIS has agents following an archaeologist though.”

Gilda scoffed. “Gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that the last time someone stole a major cultural artifact it ended with a Capran juggling the sun? How Equestria has been stockpiling cultural relics and that led to magic being drained from the whole continent? Not to mention that incident with the Tears of Ymir.”

I had to admit she had a point.

“Yeah! And so they had us following you in case you ran off to get some big treasure so we could steal it first. And then we noticed all the other people following you, and started spying on them too. And then they got all excited because you went to the castle and had a big new research project. And Gilda said ‘We have to save her!’ and…”

“I...I did not!” Gilda sputtered. “We just couldn’t let them steal the treasure first, that’s all.”

I facehoofed. Fans. Fans who were spies. Fans who were incompetent spies. Just great. I could feel the effects of the coffee wearing off just with proximity to the madness.

This was going to be one of those adventures, I just knew it.

Thanks Celestia.

“So you decided that you’d kidnap me, and keep me safe from the other bad guys to steal the treasure yourselves?”

“Yeah!”

“What? Hey! No! Gabby that’s wrong! We weren’t going to kidnap you. We were going to trick you. Big difference.”

I shook my head.

“Well sorry to disappoint ladies, but there’s no treasure this time. This is pure research.”

“Uh huh! Suuuure there’s no treasure,” said Gabby with another broad wink. “Really though, what is it? I’m so excited! I bet Gilda it had to do with the Dromaed. Their feathers are so handsome in all the pictures.”

“No, really,” I said with a frown. “There’s no treasure or artifact or secret amulet. Didn’t you look at my notes?”

“Pfft, what, that nerd stuff? No,” Gilda scoffed.

I facehoofed again. Of course they hadn’t. I try to be open minded about stereotypes, but Gilda really wasn’t doing her people any favors.

“Research? Really? What are you studying?” Gabby chirped, her face showing apparently genuine curiosity.

“It’s…” I began, and then caught myself.

Right. Political sensitivity. Dire implications for our alliances. Spies.

“...something I can’t tell you about,” I finished lamely.

“Mm hm. Suuuure you can’t.”

Another wink. I was starting to hate those winks.

“I can’t! But look, just ask the other people spying on me. They’ll know, even if you didn’t go through my notes yourself.”

“Yeah, no. Those dweebs couldn’t sneak a look either. We know, we were watching.”

“You don’t sleep very much,” Gabby helpfully chimed in. “And after a while you were doing that twitchy eye thing where you jump at small noises. Oh! Gilda! That reminds me, the other spies! I saw them at the end of the street with a bunch of tough looking sorts. I think they were heading this way. I came to warn you.”

Gilda and I both froze. We turned to look at the ends of the alley, where we had apparently acquired an audience. One of them had popcorn. You just can’t get good help these days.

“Right,” said Gilda, with the tone of one who has made a snap decision. “Daring, hit the roof. We’ll get you the time to escape. And then we will continue this conversation later.”

“What, really? Are you sure?” I said, turning to her in surprise. Sure they had been planning to betray me, but that’s half the people I meet. I’d still feel bad just flying off. “You look tough, but there’s a lot of them, and Gabby doesn’t seem like much of a fighter.”

“What was that?” I turned around to a worrying clinking sound. Gabby’s talons were full of several vials that glowed worrying colors, and she had an unsettling grin.

“Never mind.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about us. Get out of here, nerd girl.”

I nodded and took off, while Gilda pounced with a roar and Gabby threw a vial that enveloped the alley in a cloud of sweet smelling purple smoke. The sounds of the fight followed me as I ran for it.

“Ow! Oh yeah? Try that again you horn headed pansy! It is so on it’s almost off again!”

“Whee! You saved Daring Do! Your Dashie will be so jealous!”

“She is not my Dashie! Don’t think when I’m done with these bozos I won’t have more left for you!”

I zoomed away, making a beeline for the train station, the sounds fading quickly behind me. They’d be fine, I reassured myself repeatedly. I knew my luck. There was no way they wouldn’t be pestering me again. And that bunch had looked looked like bottom-barrel goons at best.

I hoped they made it out okay.

The train station is much closer when you’re running for your life than when you are taking a leisurely dawn stroll. And fortunately, even at this early hour there were plenty of trains to the Crystal Empire. A quick flash of my badge for a ticket, pulling my go bag from the long term storage locker, and inside an hour I was in a private compartment watching Mount Canter pull away into the distance.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. So, apparently everyone and their dog thought I was off on another treasure hunt and were circling like magpies round a dragon hoard. Just wonderful. My head was aching from a mix of frustration and exhaustion. I really hoped that sometime on the trip the coffee would wear off enough to sleep, so I could at least function when I arrived at the other end.

And that none of my enemies had managed to follow me and sneak onto the train to ambush me in my sleep.

With that cheerful thought, I reached into my bag and pulled out some books. I hadn’t quite scoured them clean yet, and at the very least I wanted my notes properly organized when I presented the problem to Stygian.

Between the review of old material, the noise of the train, and the griffon dynamic duo having worn the edge off the coffee, I was sleeping on my book inside of five minutes.

Comments

[Darkstarling]

9454947
It's a good question to be asking.

9454419
You'd think that eating love from within your own community would be energetically futile, but it turns out that love breaks conservation of energy.

9455066
9455275
I MAY be a huge Pratchett nerd yes. Though actually Daring hasn't discovered L Space and is just being sarcastic.

L Space is a different adventure.

[Reese]

"Strong and sneaky"
...Which griffin is which?

[Xanni]

"Gilda starred" - she sure did, but in context she probably "stared".

[King Kenya]

9457065

Still, it must be like living off meat and two veg. You’d think that once in a while they’d want to go out for a curry, and if they’re feeling really indulgent having a curry with named meat, even if the meat did go neigh.

[Dragonsboy97]

Gabby threw a vial that enveloped the alley in a cloud of sweet smelling purple smoke.

You do know the implications of what you just wrote, right?

you had gabby throw a splash-potion-of-lust into the alley gilda and gabby are fucked. literately

[Eroraf86]

I'm liking where this is going. Now activating tracking beacon.

[Darkstarling]

9458148
...No. Please rank up your alchemy score, not all sweet smelling, purple, aerosol-delivery potions are Changeling aphrodisiac.

If you're really curious, it's a smoke bomb griffons can see through and ponies can't mixed with a soporific so anyone who gets knocked down stays down. But for the purposes of the story that doesn't matter.

[Natedogg2006]

So far interesting. I like the narrative style of a constant running internal monolog. I am looking forward to possibly seeing it in a situation where she does not have everything under control, externally quipping while internally wondering if she's going to soil herself.

[Alfaridwan Setiabudi]

Update please

[FanOfMostEverything]

Fantastic, Prachetty fun thus far. Gabby as an all too eager alchemist is a wonderful if somewhat disturbing mental image. Eagerly looking forward to more, especially Stygian's reaction to somepony geeking out over him of all ponies. And this one isn't even a goateed shut-in!

[Sparks the griffon]

Great!
Can’t wait for the next chapter!

[shadollpony]

Wow great story can’t wait for chapter 4

[CTVulpin]

11085636
Discworld references. Octarine is a magic color only wizards can perceive. Thud is a chess-like game of Dwarves versus Trolls.
There's a kind of coffee on the Discworld so strong that it makes you anti-drunk instead of just sober.