We Need To Eat Somepony

by Flutterpriest

For Survival

It’s a wonderful day to be stranded on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. Far away from any sort of pony interaction. At least zero of the six ponies were thinking that as they were stranded because of Twilight’s latest experiment.

“So, girls. Hear me out,” Rainbow Dash said. “I say we eat Applejack.”

“What?!” Applejack exclaimed.

“Not right now, AJ, the adults are talking,” Rarity said.

“BUT I’M TRYIN TO GROW CROPS!”

“See?” Rainbow said. “She says she’s tryin. But, I say if she were a good farmer, she’d already be growing food right now. We’ve already been here for four days. We had four days to grow food! But she couldn’t even do that.”

“That’s because food doesn’t grow in four days,” Applejack said.

“That’s not true!” Pinkie interjected. “I went to this apple tree once. And ate an apple off of it, and then, three days later when I came back, there were MORE apples!”

“That’s because more than one apple grows on a tree!” Applejack said. “Now listen here yall. I know things haven’t been easy around here since we got stranded. And I don’t think anypony should be talkin about eatin’ anypony. But do I need to remind yall that I was the only one who could make fire happen?”

“That’s not true, I can make fire happen,” Twilight said.

“Oh yeah?” Applejack said. “Let’s see your magic work.”

“Well, my magic would work if I had gotten to eat,” Twilight growled. “But instead we’re all starving to death, so now whose fault is that?”

“Well, I picked all the berries on the island. But Pinkie ate them all,” Applejack

“Well, yeah! How else was I going to make my morning smoothie,” Pinkie said. “Health food is important, girls. Why couldn’t you just find more berries?”

“Because there aren’t anymore berries, Pinkie! I swear, it’s like you girls aren’t even listenin’ to me. The food is going to need time to grow. Until then, we need to seriously consider some Fishing or-”

“NO ANIMAL HURTING!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “We can eat each other, but we can’t eat the animals. I will not allow it.”

“I say we eat Fluttershy first,” Rarity said.

“Nah, not enough meat on her bones. We went over this,” Rainbow said sullenly.

“Yay!~” Fluttershy moaned weakly.

“Okay, then how about this,” AJ says. “How about we eat the person who has eaten the most recently?”

Everypony looks at Pinkie.

“I make you laugh, though.”

“She has a good point,” said Twilight. “She does make us laugh. And laughter is the best medicine.”

“I’m basically a doctor,” Pinkie said. “You can’t eat a doctor. I think that’s… illegal or something.

“For one,” Applejack said. “You’re not a real doctor. Two, you’re supposed to be trying to find Twilight’s spellbook so we can find a way back!”

“We have been, and it’s not anywhere. We looked under every rock and in every bush. Now Fluttershy and Rainbow can’t fly because their wings are sore and exhausted from searching the trees. We can’t find the book.”

Applejack takes a deep breath then shakes her head.

“All I’m sayin is that we should consider our options before we straight up consider killing each other to survive.”

“Well, what should we do?” Twilight said.

“Well, I’d suggest we begin considering the option of hunting and fishing,” said Applejack. “We’re quickly reaching a point where it’s them or us. And we’ve been lucky that we’ve been able to clean some water in a pan. If we can survive long enough to harvest some crops, we can harvest seeds to keep making more food. Eventually we’ll stabilize in the long term, but we need to find a way to ration and scrimp in the short term.”

“But how are we going to get home?” Rarity asks. “We can’t teleport back.”

“I’m sure Celestia and the rest of the Princesses will send out a search party eventually. They’ll notice that all of us are missing and try to find us. We don’t even know where we are, so if we go in a direction, we might end up going in the wrong direction entirely,” Twilight said.

A silence fell over the six girls as each refused to look the other in the eye.

“What are our chances of getting off this island, Twi,” Applejack asked. “Seriously.”

Twilight lookedup to her earth pony friend, and for the first time, the normally sure and confident princess waivered.

“I really don’t know, Applejack.” Twilight said. “We’ll need all the luck we can get.”

Applejack sighed and sat down in the girl’s circle. A long moment passed as the six friends were together, but never farther apart. Nothing seemed to be improving. It didn’t seem like there was any hope.

If there’s no hope, what is there?

“I’ll sacrifice myself,” Fluttershy said, breaking the silence.

The five girls looked to her in silence.

“I know for a fact that I would never forgive myself if I allowed an animal to be hurt… So, it makes sense to me that if I’m not here, I can’t stop you girls from doing what you need to for survival.” Fluttershy sighed and closed her eyes. “Can you girls just make it quick?”

“Fluttershy,” AJ said, “Now just hold on a second, Let’s talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Fluttershy says, rising to her hooves. “We just need to find something sharp, right?”

Applejack rose to her hooves to intercept her friend.

“Nobody’s going to sacrifice themselves!”

“I’m going to!” Fluttershy said tersely to her friend. “It’s for the greater good.”

Applejack grabbed Fluttershy.

“No!”

“Get OFF ME!” Fluttershy said, pushing AJ way.

Then, time seemed to move in slow motion. AJ was pushed off balance by Fluttershy’s shove. The middle stages of dehydration and starvation made it harder for Applejack to gain her balance. She turned, and couldn’t even process a full thought before her forehead collided with a jagged stone.

A solid, wet smack.

Applejack lay still. Unmoving.

A gasp fell over the girls. Fluttershy trembled, staring down at the still moving form of Applejack. Her hooves buckled under her weight and she fell to the ground, tears streaming from her cheeks.

Twilight stood up and moved away from the girls, looking into the forested wood behind them. The breath she drew was dry and razor sharp. The air burned her skin.

“This is my fault,” she murmured.

She felt herself grow weak, and she leaned against her nearest tree for support. The leaves rustle. The branches shake, and a small spellbook fell from the branches onto the sand.

Twilight looked at the book and recognized it instantly.

And so, Twilight wept. They were saved.

Comments

[karnazom]

Okay I did NOT Expect this!
.
.
.
I'm gonna read it anyway

[Not so New Brony]

Ummm...At least they didn't go completely 'Lord of the Flies'?

[Valuable Ashes]

9435779
It was close enough anyways

[Adorkable]

Aww, bummed me out.

Apple horse noes!

[Vaguely Demented]

And this is why you don’t hold important conversations near jagged rocks.

[nothingtoseehere]

Well, waste not want not.

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Applejack lay still. Unmoving.

I didn't expect this to be a comedy

[Solarfollow]

I realize this is just a dark comedy (so the story gets a pass here).

But seriously: I doubt Fluttershy would be that opposed to people eating meat, especially if it were a matter of survival. Half of her animal friends eat meat, so she's probably pretty used to it at this point.

[Yutah123]

Well...

Stuff happened.

---

If you don't want Apple Horse to die, you can apply cartoon physics and say that she's only unconscious (they didn't actually confirm her death). In that case, the worst thing that's gonna happen from this unfortunate trip is one concussion and six temporarily physically weakened but permanently mentally scarred ponies.

[Dr Freaky]

Well that got dark

[fanreader999999]

A gasp fell over the girls. Fluttershy trembled, staring down at the still moving form of Applejack. Her hooves buckled under her weight and she fell to the ground, tears streaming from her cheeks.

Lol

[strangephantasm]

Trust me, you don't want to eat Pinkie Pie. You'll get the wombo combo of diabetes, heart disease, AND tooth decay.

[SmugKitsune]

Dying of laughter... kind of like how an apple dies when hit with a sharp object.

[AstralMouse]

I expected them to start discussing plans for how to eat her and she was going to say "It's just a minor cut, y'all, I ain't dead."

[Bojack H]

started great but kinda petered out by the end, if you're going to open with canabalism you really gotta commit to it.

[ParodiaTheSilent]

Fuck.

[Rockstar_Raccoon]

Certainly entertaining, but I feel like this was intended to also have the comedy tag...?

[locke_jaw]

Like the fella' once said
Ain't that a kick in the head?…

[n3k1dsk1llz]

I dunno if this was supposed to be funny, but it's so over the top, I find myself chuckling.

A part of my would like to see the fallout of this event, but then again, it works so perfectly as just this scene.

Have a like, Flutterpriest. You've earned it :D

[tsaukpaetra]

Just in time too, who knows the next pony to shoot the roulette gun?

[Ryza]

Awe, i was hpping to hear how Aj tastes

[Silent Whisper]

Applejack lay still. Unmoving.

A gasp fell over the girls. Fluttershy trembled, staring down at the still moving form of Applejack.

Doesn't this contradict itself?

[MixMassBasher]

Ridiculously funny at the start but a very sad downer ending at the end. Kinda feels inconsistent to me.

[WorldWalker128]

Wow. That took a depressing turn. Like watching Steven King's The Mist.

[V8]

9856175
kinda...

[Dreadnought]

You killed the best pony!!!

[Samarder]

Then, time seemed to move in slow motion. AJ was pushed off balance by Fluttershy’s shove. The middle stages of dehydration and starvation made it harder for Applejack to gain her balance. She turned, and couldn’t even process a full thought before her forehead collided with a jagged stone.

Hahahahahaha, okay, that friggin' got me.

[King of Kings]

All that's missing from Applejack's death is Batman saying "What did you do?!" and this could be Injustice.