The Little Wooden God

by Apophis797

2. I Am Awake

You know I normally consider myself an alright tree climber but dear god, what the hell are they fertilizing these things with in horse world? Apparently describing it as a "tree house" last time was a bit more literal than I thought because the whole giant house was hollowed out of an oak tree the size of a redwood. I know I just met a pair of talking purple animals but does everything I see have to be out a goddamn fantasy cartoon? If I sound a bit upset than good job mister observant, that tends to happen when you fall 15 feet through tree branches as thick as your wrist. Fortunately nothing was broken but still. It's a bit of an inconvenience.

Thankfully it seemed like, while there was more of the town farther away, the tree was basically right next to the main part of it. I think they just put the window there for a more scenic view. Having promptly completed my arduous journey to find alien civilization beyond my previous hosts, who I'd already made things awkward enough with, I set about my secondary task of finding some food. Remembering my survival experience from a childhood of camping and scouting I scanned the horizon and managed to spot the giant market like two or three blocks away. It seemed the fates were once again in my favor. With provisions in sight I pulled my sheet cloak tight and set out to see if I could at least get something to eat by pointing.

The first few of the horses I passed, although I think pony would be a more fitting title given their small stature and resemblance to certain 80s toy lines, seemed... weirded out at best. Not terrified thankfully, I guess there were weirder things than me around, but at the very least they'd never seen a human before. As I neared the market, however, they became denser and their stares and reactions became more frequent and fearful. It all eventually came to a head when I reached one of the outlying stalls, a flower shop by the look of it, and the three ponies manning it screamed something and started a small stampede, although it seemed like one of them fainted about 20 feet down the road so maybe anemia causes panic in ponies. I wouldn't be one to know. This too, however, had a silver lining that would fuel my master plan. A lot of the stalls were empty and one of them was selling vegetables. I was about to grab a cucumber the size of the forearm, presumably it uses the same fertilizer as that monster of a tree from earlier, when I was interrupted by a sudden voice.

<Now hold on there, mister. Just cause the shop owner there thought you was a monster don't mean y'all can just take whatever you want.>

The source was a small orange horse who spoke with who seemed strangely fearless. They also had, and I cannot stress this enough, cutest little hat I have ever seen. They were dressed like a tiny cowboy. It was incredible. I had sorta lost hope at this point and was mostly doing what I felt like and I still felt like that but cute animals were always my favorite way to escape back home and I was starting to think they'd work just fine here.

"Well that's just fucking adorable"

<Sorry? Didn't quite catch that>

"Oh yeah, you can't understand a word I'm saying. Sorry about that. What did the purple one say last time? 'Hello'?"

<Well, uh, hello there stranger. I s'pose I can't fault ya for not learning the language but it's still not right to take things so here ya go. This one's on the house.> they said, holding up a delicious looking apple. Seriously, it was twice the size of my fist and deep and bright as a ruby. I almost had to stop myself from drooling. I took it in my hand and gave a big nod that I hoped would show how thankful I was. With that I'd solved the problem of food for now and, waving goodbye to the very friendly pony as she waved and called <Come back now, ya here? I still gotta figure out what sort of critter ya are at some point.> As cute as she was I just didn't feel right staying with these ponies. I excused it as feeling awkward but to be honest with myself something about it felt wrong. Maybe it was something in me but it was too much. I needed some time alone. I joked about it earlier but I do know a little about survival. Enough that I could probably survive on my own if I stole things from towns periodically. I just needed some time to think things through.I just needed some time to be alone.

First thing I set my mind to was the basic survival checklist. I had food, or at least a place that I could beg or steal for it. That left water and shelter. They say you can last three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without air, and three years without...

They say you can last three minutes without air, three days without water, and three weeks without food. Not sure how true it is but water takes priority. The best way I could think of was figuring out where the town got its water which I didn't expect to take too long. Shelter, though, would be difficult. Fortunately, barring an accident or me waking up back home in which case mission accomplished, I had plenty of time.

Author's Note:

It turns out this was actually a MLH:TiM story the whole time.

Comments

[A Mule with no mane]

Start fishing fishes

[Apophis797]

10491741
Fishing:
- Old
- Done Before
- I don't know how to do it

Crime:
- Bold
- Exciting
- No Comment

[Pete100]

Thankfully it seemed like, while there was more of the town farther away, the three was basically right next to the main part of it.

Is he talking about the towns?

MLH: TIM?