Iterum (CRISIS: Equestria, Part 2)
“Originally - you know, in the body before the body I had before this one - I got my quirk by falling into an alien nuclear facility in a Brazilian underground lake.”
Everyone looked at Clockwork with dumbfounded expressions.
“Of course that probably doesn’t matter, since I became a human about a decade later and never got to deal with that again. Time travel experiment and all, right? I mean, who does that?”
“Clockwork, stop talking,” a blue-tinted Sunset said, hand on the bridge of her nose.
“Last I checked you weren’t the boss, Inferno.”
Diamond Inferno tensed. “I have a fist that thinks your face is a pillow.”
“You always say that.”
With a twist of her head, Inferno stopped being a human, instead taking on the guise of a unicorn. She put a careful hoof under Clockwork’s chin. “There are other things I could do to you besides… punching.” She licked her lips. “For all your words... you would be easy to dominate.”
Clockwork recoiled. “Ech. Back off.”
“What’s the matter? Afraid of a little acti-”
An angel pointed a sword at Inferno. “I will not allow your impure and sinful ways to run rampant.”
Inferno glared at the brilliant white woman of pure spirit. “Arul, you aren’t the boss either.”
“And his divine plan is the only reason you have not paid the ultimate price for your promiscuous ways.”
“Mustard’s fine with it!”
“Mustard has other things occupying his mind.”
The ‘Mustard’ in question was a dark yellow unicorn in a white robe lined with pastel pinks and purples. He was currently kneeling before a small idol carved from orange crystal in the shape of an eye, muttering something incoherent.
Inferno shifted forms into an approximation of an angel, smirking at Arul. “You’re alone in your devotion…”
“I am devoted to nothing but the promise of the future.”
“Why not have some fun then?”
“Beyond utter disdain for your obsession? I am an angel. I do not have a sex drive. I do not have gender, this form is merely chosen for the benefit of my neighbors.”
Inferno let out a tense hiss, stopping herself before she dented Arul’s ethereal face in.
“Wish more people were like you back home,” Clockwork said. “First home, not third one. The amount of times the blob next door decided… ‘it’ was something else, I had to bring out the flamethrower just to knock some sense into… ‘it’. No shape-shifting slimes here, just a delusional blob of green that wanted to be a squirrel. Apparently.”
“Not an attack helicopter?” Inferno asked.
“Surprisingly, no. That was the guy down the lane. Girl. Rotary vehicle? Whatever, why do I even care? I haven't seen that world since I was little.”
“For someone who doesn’t care you talk an awful lot about your past.”
“Because it’s so interesting now that I don’t have to keep it a secret! I mean, come on, the Sundial of Lost Monday? We had thousands of those but I’ve never heard anyone else talk about them!”
“You disadvantage yourself, Clockwork,” Silvertongue said, striding into the room. Only Clockwork knew that was his name; all the others knew him as a muted-gray pegasus by the name of Shroud. “If you kept your cards close to your chest, you would have an advantage in future interactions.”
“Aren’t we all on the same side here, though?” Clockwork asked.
“Loyalties are fickle things,” Silvertongue said, examining his four accumulated servants with a careful eye. Clockwork, while overly talkative, was easily the most loyal out of all of them since Silvertongue had forcefully broken his mind in shortly after arriving in Celestia City. Silvertongue had seen no reason to waste such effort on getting any further assistance - all the others had joined willingly. Through revenge, ideals, or a perverted sense of justice; Silvertongue knew all their reasons and cared not how they reflected on him. He knew they would do as he asked, and that was all that mattered at that moment. If they failed, they knew what would happen.
“We have arrived in Earth Shimmer, which means it’s time to move. Those of you with assignments know what to do. The others? Wait. Patiently.”
“Caaaan do!” Clockwork said, giving an exaggerated salute.
“I myself am going for a walk.”
“Going for that Screwball chick?”
“No, plans have changed. While it may seem that an insane woman stuck in an asylum would be an easy target, she is related to one Mister Discord. The new target is none of your concern.” He took out a dimensional device and spread his wings. “I assure you, this is not a walk for pleasure.” He could have teleported away, but even though pegasus magic was not unheard of in Celestia City, he did not wish to draw more attention than necessary. The portal closed with a pop.
Those of his servants with jobs to do began to scramble, their previous bickering not forgotten, but for the moment pushed aside.
~~~
Havocwing didn’t have a good history with cities.
The first one she had been in was a horrendous mess of chaos, destruction, and death that had birthed the six of them and somewhere inside Havocwing was a desire to see that place burnt to the ground; reduced to no more than cinders.
The second one had been under attack for most of the time she was there, so that just sucked.
Then there were the prissy cities of Utopia which were too nice and fancy and primitive. Canterlot of Equestria IV hadn’t been as bad, but it was still too… “pretty pretty look at me!”
At least that’s how Havocwing saw it.
This “Celestia City” instantly blew her out of the water. It was advanced and massive, but it was also full of life. There was no strife, very little anger, and everyone that walked through it seemed happy, not that she could read all of their expressions very well.
It was strong without looking like it wanted to kill them. Havocwing hadn’t thought such a thing to be possible. Everything had to suck in some way, right?
“Hey! Stop staring and clogging up the sidewalk!” a green blob creature said, forming a hand out of his membrane to create the “hands-on-hips” posture.
“We’re new here, we’re afforded a bit of astonishment at our inexplicable environment,” Starlight said, glaring at him.
“Then go sit on the bench or something! It’s large enough!”
“Hey!” Havocwing landed in front of the blob. “I don’t care what kind of fat blob you are, you do not talk to my sister that way!”
“Fat… blob…?”
“Yeah? Problem w-”
The blob turned tail and ran away bawling. Havocwing stared after him in disbelief. “What the…?”
“Smooth,” Grayscale observed.
“I hadn’t even gotten started with the insults!”
“Guess you just have a winning personality.”
Havocwing sighed, trotting over to the bench and sitting down. The rest of her sisters followed suit save for Starlight, who stood next to the bench, focusing on her magic.
“Find anything yet?” Insipid asked.
Starlight shook her head. “No… I mean, affirmative, I have found ‘things’, unfortunately my scrying has not overturned a trail to our mark.”
“That’s lame.”
“He was here. I know that.” Starlight stopped casting magic. “But I have no way to trace it with all the conflicting magics running around left and right.”
Grayscale cocked her head. “What?”
“This City has so many different kinds of magic in it I can’t even come close to identifying them all.” Starlight frowned, annoyed at her inadequacy.
“I suspect zat is intentional,” Curaçao said. “I ‘ave seen several portals open since we’ve arrived, zey’re treated as normal occurrences. Magic from… ‘undreds of universes mix ‘ere.”
“That would explain why Velvet can feel fear again,” Starlight admitted. “And why my Void magics are back to full strength.”
Havocwing grinned, lighting her hoof on fire. “Yeah, we’re back baby!”
“...Is that a good thing?” Velvet asked. “What if I try to eat you?”
“Like, that’s not you anymore?” Insipid said, waving a hoof.
“But what ‘good’ can fear do?”
“Pinkie spoke of a Nightmare Night celebration where ponies engaged in scaring each other, non?” Curaçao commented. “Fear is not without its place.”
“That wasn’t the kind of fear I use.”
“Per’aps you can change the fear you use.”
Velvet frowned. “Maybe… Or maybe I just never use it.”
“Somezing tells me zat’ll be difficult in a city zis large.”
Velvet shivered. “Yeah…”
“We, like, need a plan,” Insipid said. “He, like, uh… does things we can predict, right?”
“He was headed to Equestria Prime, this isn’t on that path, we have no idea what he’s doing,” Grayscale said. “If I know him, he doesn’t care anymore about that whole ‘Prime’ thing since there’s now more multiverse than we thought there was.”
“I agree,” Curaçao said.
“So he has a new plan, bucking fantastic,” Havocwing folded her hooves. “How are we supposed to find him and stop him if we have no idea what he wants?”
“We find out more about this place,” Curaçao suggested.
“Let’s go over what we do know first,” Starlight said. “Which is… simultaneously copious and intermittent.”
Grayscale sighed. “We are in Celestia City, the mobile capital of Merodi Universalis, currently in a universe called Earth Shimmer, which is known to be unstable.”
Everypony stared at her. Velvet grinned. “Wow, Gray, I knew you were observant, but holy kidneys that was impressive!”
“They play news on the screens,” Grayscale said, pointing with a hoof. Currently, a unicorn was talking about who Shimmy was, subtitles on the screen informing the six what she was actually saying.
“Figured out some other interesting things too,” Grayscale added, drawing their attention away from the screen. “There are copies out in the crowd. I saw a Twilight Sparkle with both wings and a horn-”
“What!?” Starlight shouted before deflating. “...I cannot speak as though I am bewildered.”
“-Money is stored on little cards, something called a ‘Sweetie’ is important, and the ape-creatures are humans. The humans always wear clothes, but the ponies never do.”
“Oh my gosh, they’re naked!” Insipid whined.
“Nice,” Velvet said, smacking her lips.
Havocwing facepalmed. “Velvet, ew. Insipid, they’ve been walking by for several minutes and you just now noticed their nudity?”
“I was thinking about other things, Havoc!”
“Secondly, we’re naked.” Havocwing gestured at herself. “Remember the fit you threw a week ago about having to junk our ruined suits? We were on Equestria IV. We never replaced them.”
“Yeah, you’ve been naked an entire week,” Velvet giggled.
Curaçao put a hoof on Insipid. “I do believe we went on a shopping spree in Ponyville, non? You were fine there.”
“Just because I don’t notice things doesn’t mean…” Insipid took a breath, calming herself. “Like, okay, doesn’t matter, cha? It’s not like there’s really anything to look at.”
“That’s what you think,” Velvet said, waggling her eyebrows.
“Like, ew, we’re sisters.”
“Didn’t stop you from going after Curaçao,” Grayscale commented.
“I was young and silly!”
Starlight did some math in her head. “It’s been about a month since we were cloned.”
“Yeah, so, I can change my mind!” Insipid pulled Curaçao close. “We’re sisters. The best of sisters!”
“Right. Sisters…” Starlight furrowed her brow, inwardly conflicted. “Sisters…”
Havocwing put a wing on her. “We’re family by choice. We kicked out Silvertongue, don’t worry, okay?”
Starlight nodded halfheartedly.
“I’ll let you take the final blow, if you want.”
Starlight tensed. “N-no things are satisfactory as they are, you take the ultimate action, I shall rally from the sidelines.”
Havocwing frowned. “...Sure.”
“We still ‘ave to find him first,” Curaçao said.
Havocwing stretched her wings. “All right! Curaçao, you’re on normal information gathering duties. The rest of us… just ask around, I guess? Figure out someplace to eat and crash or something.”
“We don’t have their money,” Starlight said.
“There’s a bit exchange machine right there,” Grayscale pointed out. “Seen ponies use it a few times already.”
“Oh.”
Curaçao waved to her sisters and trotted off.
“Not going super-secret?” Insipid called after her.
“Not going to live a lie if I can help it, ma soeur.”
“You’re like, making real progress!” Insipid waved at her until she disappeared into the crowd.
“She’s over-adjusting,” Havocwing muttered.
Insipid glared at her. “She feels really bad about what she did, Havoc. Even if it did help, she never wants to do that to us again.”
“I’d still like her to be able to lie, you know? It’s useful!”
“...Is my fear useful?” Velvet asked, voice wavering.
“I… well, uh…” Havocwing bit her lip. “Maybe?”
“But what if I jump on you and try to feed on the pressure we’re putting on y-” Velvet eeped, putting her hooves over her eyes. “Sorry! Sorry!”
Havocwing shook the image of her sisters falling off a cliff out of her mind. “Is it… is it that bad?”
“There’s so many people…” Velvet shivered. “They… they all fear something…”
“You just need to learn to control it,” Starlight asserted. “No power is unsurmountable if you put your mind to the task.”
“I’m not the genius you are…”
“Willpower does not always correlate to intelligence.”
“Look at me!” Havocwing said, pointing with a wing. “I’m as stubborn and defiant as a mule!”
“...Did you just imply you were stupid?” Grayscale asked.
“She’s not stupid!” Insipid said, huffing. “I’m the stupid one!”
Grayscale facehooved. “Ugh…”
Havocwing signed. “Insipid, you’re not…”
“Are you really going to try to tell me I’m smart?” Insipid laughed. “Like, wow, maybe I’m not?”
Havocwing blinked. “I’m confused.”
“Where’s Curaçao when you need her?” Grayscale asked.
Velvet shrugged. “Plotting.”
“She doesn’t plot anymore!” Insipid hissed.
“She totally plots. Just not against us. Speaking of plots…”
“Mind out of the gutter, now,” Havocwing ordered.
“Fine…”
They heard a chink chink chink as Grayscale stuck some of their bits in the exchange machine, getting a “quid card” in return. The number of quid was helpfully displayed on the card with a miniature screen.
Starlight’s eyes sparkled. “Woah…”
Insipid waved a hoof in front of her. “Gray! You broke her!”
“How do you make a screen that small? The tubes required… the magical finesse…”
Insipid tapped it with her hoof. “...Not feeling any magic in here.”
“No magic!?” Starlight’s head reeled. “How… What… Why…?”
Grayscale pocketed the card. “Let’s find somewhere to eat.” She pointed a wing at a small white unicorn walking down the sidewalk. “She’ll know.”
Havocwing decided not to question Grayscale’s intuition. It was rarely wrong. She walked up to the white unicorn, planning to ask where the nearest restaurant was.
Instead, the unicorn spoke to them first. “You five new in the city? Lost? Confused?”
“Uh…” after she spent a few seconds considering lying, she shook her head. “Yeah.”
“Well, let me welcome you to Celestia City anyway!” She pulled a small brochure out of her saddlebags and handed it over to them. “I’m Nord, of the League of Sweetie Belles. Yes, I know, it’s a weird name, but with several hundred Sweeties you start running out of normal-sounding unique ones.”
Havocwing opened the brochure. So, you’re new to Celestia City? Here’s what you need to know. It then went into a brief description of what the City was, who ran it, important laws, and what dimensional travelers should expect.
“I’m currently just on patrol, so I could show you around,” Nord said with a smile. “You look hungry. There’s this noodle place I highly recommend. But first… names? Names would be helpful.”
They all went, one at a time.
“Havocwing.”
“Grayscale Force.”
“Red Velvet!”
“Insipid, Cha!”
“Starlight Shadow.”
“Ah, you are alternates, aren’t you?” Nord nodded. “I was wondering. You seem to be missing an Applejack though.”
“Oh, she’s around,” Velvet said. “Don’t worry, she’ll be able to find us.”
“...If you say so. Anyway, Starlight Shadow? You might want to start going by Shadow, we have a lot of Starlights in the city, and even though you look different, you’re probably going to get into some confusing situations pretty quick here.”
“I… see…” Starlight said - paying more attention to the exchange machine than Nord.
Nord continued. “Anyway, let’s head over and get some food in you. I’d offer to cook myself, buuuuuuuut it’s a well known fact that Sweeties suck at cooking. We can burn juice, if you can believe that.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Grayscale deadpanned.
“That’s exactly what we all say, but that doesn’t stop us fro-”
“HEY! YOU! SWEETIE!”
Nord turned to the side, surprised to see another - much younger - Sweetie with ice-blue eyes tackle her out of nowhere.
“What th-”
“You are going to be a part of my team!”
Nord stared at her. “Cryo… right?”
“Yep!”
“Do you even know who I am?”
“Nope!”
“...Figures. Listen, Cryo, I need t-”
Cryo narrowed her eyes. “Is that a no?”
Nord sighed. “Yes, Cryo, that’s a n-”
Cryo grabbed Nord by the back ankle and started dragging her. “We’ll see what the League has to say about that ‘no’!”
Nord didn’t look angry or even all that confused anymore - she sighed. “Sorry girls, looks like you’re on your own. I’d suggest finding another Sweetie a-”
Cryo dragged Nord onto a blue platform that teleported them somewhere else.
A few of the bystanders were laughing or rolling their eyes, though some of the humans with gems in their foreheads seemed just as dumbfounded as Havocwing and her sisters were.
Velvet cleared her throat. “Does anyone know the way to the noodle place she mentioned?”
Several people pointed left.
“Thanks! Come on girls, let’s go there and read this brochure! We might have to drag Starlight and Havocwing along, I think they’re broken.”
~~~
Curaçao felt it: the need to lie. Purged of dark magic, sure… but that didn’t change who she was. A mare who could look like anypony, see anything, and spin any tale as though it were the honest truth. It would be pathetically easy for her to walk up to someone, pretend to be some random street beggar, and get more than enough money to do anything she could want.
She’d managed to be completely upfront with the first pony she talked to, saying she was a lost multiversal traveler who’d like some information about the city and rumors about a silver alicorn named Silvertongue. The pegasus had directed her to a ‘computer terminal’ that could print her out a brochure to the City, but she knew nothing of a silver alicorn - there were so many alicorns in the city it wouldn’t exactly be something to write home about anyway.
But after she’d finished discussing she’d instinctually shifted to another form and disappeared into a crowd. Cursing herself, she shifted back to default in front of a dozen ponies - who looked at her with curious looks. She turned invisible in reaction to this.
To her shock, at least two people in the crowd could still see her. She scrambled away, disoriented, only shifting into a visible state once she arrived in the equivalent of an abandoned alley. Her expression was flat, calm, and level.
Inwardly she was panicking.
I need to calm down, Curaçao told herself, forcing her thoughts back. They can see me. This should be good. I now know hiding is not guaranteed, and that’ll keep me from running and hiding.
Will it? Am I lying to myself again?
Curaçao let herself laugh bitterly. That was the problem with being the Element of Deception, wasn’t it? The others at least knew for sure where they stood, however terrible that might be, they could fight it consciously now.
Here I am, proving that I haven’t changed.
Stop lying to yourself, you didn’t used to think about it like this.
Which one of you is the lie?
All of them.
Curaçao put a hoof on a nearby wall, forcing her thoughts back even further. If nothing else, dwelling on her inner turmoil was not going to help her sisters. She at least knew she cared about them. That was certain.
She would hold on to that.
With a quick adjustment to her headband, she set out into the streets once more and grabbed one of the brochures she had been told about earlier. She sat down and perused it’s contents - no chances she could lie to a piece of paper.
It was surprisingly helpful. She gained a basic knoweldge of the history of Celestia City right off the bat as well as an understanding of Merodi Universalis’ ideals: Harmony, Aid, and Progress, capitalized within the brochure for some indiscernible reason. The closest thing she’d seen like it in her world was Utopia, but they were rather lenient on the ‘Aid’ part and the ‘Progress’ almost didn’t exist.
She learned about Mayor Blumiere and the League of Sweetie Belles that served as a sort of special guard for the city - or police. Their place in society was clearly both niche and well respected, even if it wasn’t exactly well-defined. There was a brief outline of Merodi government, some basic laws (including one that protected clueless dimensional travelers, which was a nice touch), and a brief introduction to what the Internet was and how to access it. It would certainly be helpful…
At first, she intended to find a public Internet terminal and use it to get all her information rather than discuss things with the people of the city, but this idea was dashed out of her mind when she saw a pair of Sweeties walking by with a Rarity and a Twilight that were clearly together.
Rarity and Twilight would have… interesting reactions to this.
Curaçao trotted over - Sweeties were supposed to help, according to the brochure. “Bonjour!”
The Sweeties turned to look at her in surprise.
“Why in Celestia’s name is the translator spell not working?” the sunglasses-wearing Sweetie said.
“Quoi? You cannot understand me?”
“I understood the second part just fi- oh. You’re bilingual, aren’t you?” the Sweetie rubbed her head. “That always does strange things to the translator.”
“I knew Bonjour meant hello,” the other Sweetie said.
The first Sweetie rolled her eyes. “I’m Blink, this is Cinder, the two behind me are Brook and Sequin.”
“Charmed,” Sequin said, smiling. “You look simply fabulous, darling.”
“I am Curaçao. I’m new, and according to this brochure… you are Sweeties.”
“Yep!” Cinder said, beaming. “Full Agents and everything! How can we help?”
“Any tips zat wouldn’t be found in ze official brochure?”
Blink pursed her lips. “Let’s see… expect the unexpected, chances are you’re going to stumble across a people group that is nothing like your own and you’ll have to respect them or get angrily chased, beware of random Infinite Carousel salesponies, and when something goes horribly wrong either help or just shrug and move on with your life.”
“Zings go wrong zat often?”
Blink nodded, grinning. “You betcha!”
“Should we be worried?” Sequin asked.
Brook shook her head. “Nah. This entire City is filled with heroes. You, Cinder, the number just keeps climbing!”
“You’re a hero too.”
Twilight smiled sadly. “Not recently.”
“Brook…”
“That’s not going to stop me from trying, though.”
Rarity beamed. “You’ve come such a long way…”
“So have you.”
“‘eroes?” Curaçao raised an eyebrow. “Zat is a profession ‘ere?”
Cinder chuckled. “I guess you could say that. You look like one yourself.”
“A ‘ero, me?” Curaçao shook her head. “I am trying, but… c’est la vie.”
“Maybe we can help! What’s your problem?”
“My sisters and I are searching for a stallion. Alicorn, silver coat, named Silvertongue.”
“Haven’t heard of him,” Blink said. “Sorry.”
“There is the prophecy…” Cinder reminded her. “You know, that ‘pony with the silver tongue’?”
Curaçao fixated on Cinder. “What is ze contents of zis… prophecy?”
Cinder shrugged. “I don’t know, I never really looked into it. Skuldie would probably know more - you could come with us down to the surface, we were just headed there!”
Curaçao shook her head. “I cannot leave ze city without my sisters, but zanks for ze offer. Can I meet you down zere?”
Cinder glanced to Brook and Sequin.
Sequin shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”
“Here’s my phone number,” Cinder said, pulling a round device out of the back of her mane with a number on it - Curaçao recognized it immediately.
“Malheureuse… I ‘ave no phone.”
“Well, soon as you get one, you can call. They’re pretty cheap, from what I hear.”
“There’s pay phones too,” Blink said, pointing at a blue box standing on the edge of a street.
“Ah, yes, zat was in ze brochure.”
Blink pulled out her phone. “I’ll make a call to the League about this Silvertongue. When you call I’ll let you know if we got anything, okay?”
“Je vous remercie,” Curaçao said.
“What did he do anyway?”
“Destabilized our world, killed two goddesses, and created a city zat fed off chaos?”
Blink nodded. “Ah. One of those.”
“...You come across zis often?”
“Enough.” Blink held the phone to her ear. “Hey, Nausicaa, might have something about that silver tongue prophecy… might be literal…”
“Nice meeting you, Curaçao,” Sequin said with a wave. “I hope you find him and get to enjoy the sights - I recommend the Theremin Garden myself.”
“I... will keep zat in mind,” Curaçao said.
The two Sweeties, Sequin, and Brook left, presumably to head to the surface of Earth Shimmer.
Curaçao smiled. She already had a connection, and an ally in the authorities of this City. She hadn’t needed to lie about anything to get there.
Maybe things really were looking up.
~~~
“What do you mean I can’t make a team?” Cryo whined.
Nausicaa, pegasus-Sweetie, let out a tense breath, not wanting to deal with this little upstart today. But all the Sweeties who usually handled this sort of thing were out dealing with the influx of Earth Shimmer visitors… leaving her in the League dealing with paperwork and complaints.
She didn’t mind the paperwork. She did mind the complaints.
“Listen, Cryo, you dragged Nord away from her assignment. She is a full Agent and was on patrol - helping some dimensional travelers, nonetheless.”
“Bu-”
“You are not an Agent, Cryo, you have not passed training and no Sweetie has vouched for you. Joining the League is free, but acting with our authority requires proving oneself. You have not.”
Cryo twitched, holding up a hoof and covering it with ice. “See?”
“I see advanced non-lethal cryokinesis,” Nausicaa deadpanned. “I don’t see a responsible agent. I see a filly with a serious case of trope fixation. Not every world is anime, Cryo.”
“But that’s what makes me… me! I’m just a normal Sweetie otherwise!”
Nausicaa grunted. “There are plenty of normal Sweeties, Cryo. Nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Nausicaa. You clearly have no idea what it means to be an arch-nemesis.”
“No. That’s Squeaky’s department, and she’s busy.”
“I’m just sayi-”
“Cryo.” Nausicaa held up a wing. “I’m not saying you can’t have adventures. You can grab your friends and do what you want, part of the League is to have fun. You just can’t go dragging Agents away from their work. And if you want to be an Agent of your own, you will need to prove yourself.”
“How can I do that?”
“Training, references…”
“But I’m trying to get that so I can be like Cinder! She just got in.”
Nausicaa scowled. “Yes… she did.”
“So I need to make a team like her.”
“Cryo that’s not h-”
“I’ll be part of her team.”
Nausicaa and Cryo turned around to see a Sweetie Belle with a blue-green translucent visor over her eyes and a data pad in her magic. She scribbled something into it with a stylus.
“...Which one are you?” Cryo asked.
“Curio, remember? We sat in a jail cell together.”
“Oh, yeah!” Cryo lit up. “Nice visor!”
“Thanks!”
Nausicaa consulted the Sweetie database on her data pad. “You aren’t an Agent either, Curio.”
“So?” Curio shrugged. “Sounds like she’s having fun, and this’ll get me into a lot of interesting situations.”
Nausicaa looked like she wanted to chide her, but decided against it. “Very well. Just don’t go bothering any Agents against their will.” She flew away, returning to her paperwork.
“...Against their will?” Cryo frowned. “Who could we just convince to come with us?”
“You have a one track mind, don’t you?” Curio asked.
“Pretty much!”
“Well, assuming we can’t talk to Cinder’s team… I think the only other Agents we know are Skuldie and Tab. Skuldie’s probably busy, so…”
“Tab it is! To the research levels!” Cryo created a surfboard out of ice and cascaded down the stairs, dragging Curio behind her. Most of the Sweeties in the League just rolled with the antics - Cryo was far from the most unusual of their kind. They slammed head-first into the door leading into Tab’s lab.
ACCESS DENIED.
“HEY TAB!” Cryo shouted. “WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU!”
A green, reptilian Sweetie poked her head out the door. “You want to see Tab?”
“Yep!” Cryo declared.
“Can I ask who you are?”
“Cryo and Curio! Old friends!”
Curio coughed. “The ones she tossed into a jail cell because we were ‘suspicious’.”
“Ooooh, you girls. Right, I’ll get her…”
A few minutes later Tab and Entrapta walked out of the restricted area. The completely normal sweetie and the woman with the purple hair made an interesting duo.
“What is it?” Tab asked.
“We’re forming a team to face Cinder!” Cryo offered.
“Yeah, no,” Tab said, rolling her eyes. “I have research to do. We just got a paper sent in by a Dr. Shroud with a most interesting theory on the Equis Cluster’s Universe Generator. We might be able to find it soon!”
“In a few months,” Entrapta corrected. “The initial work is all we have, there’s much more research to be done once we create the initial scrying lens!”
“Well, yes, but…” Tab shook her head. “The point is that I am extremely busy with this work-”
“I’m doing all of it,” Entrapta said. “You’re squeeing.”
Tab ignored her. “-and I shouldn’t go galavanting off on some adventure when science is underway.”
“...Not even just for a day or two?” Cryo asked, putting on the puppy-dog eyes.
“It alarms me how many Sweeties think that works on other Sweeties,” Tab muttered.
“Drat! Need a new plan…”
Curio raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you view it as a vacation?”
“Me? Take a vacation?” Tab rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I’ve taken a vacation since I was made an Agent.”
“Like me!” Entrapta grinned. “They made me take a vacation but I just made them another Sweetie Bot from my garage.”
Curio smirked. “Then… why not do it as a favor? We’d be so thankful! I’ll even tell you about my new visor!”
Tab frowned. “Using leverage, are we?”
“Is it working?”
“...Annoyingly, it might be…” Tab consulted her invisible tablet of knowledge. “Right, of course you’re useless. Don’t you ‘my usefulness is constant’ me! Ahem.” She looked up. “Okay, I’m not agreeing, but I at least want to hear what you’re planning to do.”
Cryo grinned. “First order of business is to-”
“SUMMON THE MONTAGE QUEEN!” Mattie teleported in the middle of them, cracking one of her whips in the air to punctuate her arrival. “Who wants a training session?”
“ME ME ME!” Cryo cheered.
“I think I’ll go back to work…” Tab said, slinking away.
“Too late, you’re coming with,” Mattie chuckled. “And before any of you out there get worried about me ‘messing with an Agent’, guess what? I’m an Agent! So ha to loopholes!”
“Woohoo!” Cryo declared.
Curio glanced at Mattie, scribbling some notes onto her data pad.
“You needed a vacation anyway,” Entrapta said, walking back into the lab.
Tab held a hoof out. “But… science… discovery…”
Entrapta left her in the clutches of Mattie.
Mattie cackled. “Lesson one - don’t get hit by the whips! They’re laced with extra extra pain for my pleasure and your… opposite of pleasure.”
~~~
The noodle place was called Ora Oramen and run by a bunch of humanoid black cats with bright eyes. They were friendly enough, though sometimes their stares could be a little creepy. Havocwing and her four sisters were seated at a table almost instantly and provided with menus.
The waiters, it turned out, weren't the same cats that ran the place. Every last one of them was a pinkish unicorn with a striped mane that were, apparently, ‘Starlights’ by default.
“Hello! My name’s Strix, I’ll be your waiter for this evening! You can tell me from the other Starlights by the ruby earring on my left ear. If it’s in the right ear, that’s Leyline. And if I appear to have my mane up in a bun that’s probably Susan.”
“...What kind of name is Susan?” Havocwing asked.
“Human. Not sure why Susan took it, but hey, we’re all Starlights here, chances of us wanting to talk about our pasts in detail?” She laughed audibly as if it were a joke everyone were supposed to get. Upon noticing their dumbfounded expressions, she coughed. “Er… right, sorry, you’re new and wouldn’t get that. I’ll be around, just wave me over when you’re ready to order.” She walked away, meeting a human and pony sitting at another table.
“Wow, Narf was right,” Insipid said.
“Nord,” Grayscale corrected.
“Right. Nord was right. There are a lot of Starlights, Shadow.”
“...I do not have qualms being addressed by my surname,” Shadow said. “It will likely take a few days to achieve normalcy, however. Do make an effort to be consistent.”
“Righty-o, Shadow,” Havocwing said. “And none of us have to change anything?”
Grayscale shrugged. “Haven't heard our names tossed around.”
“What have you heard?”
“Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Pinkie, and Applejack. A lot.” Grayscale let out a breath. “I’ve seen versions of all of them walking around. None of them look quite like us. But it’s close.”
“Weird…”
“We should probably order,” Velvet said, picking up the menu. “Here we have… daisy noodles, cabbage noodles, friend noodles, chicken noodles…” Velvet paused. “Chicken?”
“I’ve seen many predatory species walking amongst us,” Shadow pointed out. “It should not be alarming that a public restaurant offers meat products with its food.”
“I finally get to know what chicken tastes like…”
“I won’t be having meat,” Havocwing declared. “Spicy peppers. Nuclear option.”
“There are beings of literal fire living here,” Grayscale said. “Nuclear option might not be safe.”
“Try me.”
Shadow snorted. “I’m ordering the largest size of fried noodle for when Havocwing inevitably cannot complete her meal.”
“I’ll show you all…”
“Ooh! Sapphire noodles!” Insipid said, holding up the menu. “Like… that sounds amazing.”
Grayscale pointed out the fine print. “For dragons only.”
“Aww…. daisy then.”
“You know it occurs to me last time we ate out we didn’t exactly pay,” Velvet said, suddenly.
Strix, who just happened to be passing by, almost dropped a dish.
Grayscale sighed, holding out her quid card. “Don’t worry.”
Strix let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Chasing walkouts generally isn’t worth it…” She delivered the dish and quickly returned. “You ready to order?”
They relayed what they had decided, Grayscale going with ‘plain’.
“Great! That’ll be out in a jiff! I hope you enjoy!” She scampered off to deliver the order to the cooking cats.
Shadow took the opportunity to open the brochure. “History of Celestia City… built soon after the founding of Merodi Universalis to serve as the capital city… continually grows... travels from universe to universe…”
“A moving city?” Havocwing gasped. “How do they move it? This place is at least as big as New Pandemonium, how…?”
“We’re in space,” Grayscale said. “There’s nothing holding the city down but itself.”
“...What?”
“It floats around through the sky like the moons.”
“Oh. That… sorta makes sense.”
“Does it?” insipid asked.
“Not really.”
“Oh.”
“Merodi Universalis…” Shadow continued. “They stand for Harmony, Aid, and Progress...”
“So they’re Utopian,” Havocwing said.
“Not really,” Grayscale said. “They allow a lot of wild antics. Just looking out at the street I’ve seen a lot of surprisingly chaotic things happen.”
“Not to mention all the technology!” Insipid said. “Makes New Pandemonium look like a cave, cha!”
“Now this is interesting…” Shadow said, eyes widening. “The current Mayor is a what I can only call a creature of Void, Blumiere.”
“I thought you were the only creature of Void or something like that?” Havocwing asked.
Shadow nodded. “As far as the Chronomancers knew, I was. But we’re out of their knowledge now…” She continued on. “Some basic laws… lethal combat is not permitted within the City… businesses are not allowed to expand in Merodi space… The League of Sweetie Belles, we already met them… Oh. There’s a clause in here that protects new arrivals from being prosecuted for unaware crimes.”
“Convenient!” Velvet said.
“We read the brochure now. I know little of their legal code, but I suspect this is an indicator that we may now be prosecuted.”
“Oh. Not convenient.”
“And then there’s this thing called the Internet that i’m trying to figure out… it’s like a big database anypony can access. Apparently there are open terminals for public use a-”
Curaçao walked into the restaurant and trotted right to their table. “I see you found the brochure. Helpful, non?”
“Indubitably,” Shadow said.
“Did you find anyzing I should be aware of?”
“I am going by Shadow to avoid confusion in relation to Starlight.”
“Yes?” the Starlights asked.
Shadow held up a hoof and gestured to herself.
“Zey are just messing wiz you,” Curaçao said, turning to the Starlights. “You all know she was not referring to you.”
“It helps her get used to it!” Strix called.
“Ah, manipulation for ze benefit of the recipient?” Curaçao sighed. “C’est la vie…”
“Don’t listen to her,” Insipid said, smiling warmly. “What did you find, Curie?”
“Well, most of what I found was in zat brochure. Zat said, I did encounter a pair of Sweeties and told zem of our plight. Ze auzorities are aware of Silvertongue, and I ‘ave a way to communicate with ze Sweeties should it be required.”
“That’s great!” Velvet cheered.
“Zey were vaguely aware of some sort of prophecy…” Curaçao said. “About a stallion wiz a silver tongue. Zey could not say much, but suggested I ‘ead to ze planet below to speak wiz one ‘Skuldie’. I am to call when we ‘ead down to coordinate.”
“...Wow,” Havocwing said, blinking. “You really do know how to get stuff done.”
Curaçao nodded. “I am surprised as well, for I did not ‘ave to contort any of zis out of zem. Zey just offered to ‘elp.”
“Like Utopia, but without being all stuffy about it?” Velvet asked.
“Some ways, yes, ozer ways, no.”
There was silence around the table.
Grayscale said what they were all thinking. “This place is bucking weird.”
“This is probably what our counterparts felt like in New Pandemonium…” Shadow said.
“Can you imagine what that was like?” Insipid asked. “Like, we were in Ponyville, that place is so nice! To suddenly be dumped into that… city…” Insipid shivered. “They’re lucky they lived!”
“They did have a lot of luck…” Havocwing said.
Grayscale huffed. “Until they got turned to stone.”
“Maybe the luck passed on to us? There’s this prophecy, we have an in to this ‘League’ already, and we’re about to fill our stomachs with delicious noodles!”
“The benefit of being ‘good’, isn’t that right Curie?” Insipid asked.
Curaçao smiled softly. “‘eroes…”
“What?” Velvet asked.
“Something one of the Sweeties said. I-”
“GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!”
The six sisters turned to the door to the kitchen where they could hear childish giggling, cat yowling, and crashing pots. A second later a human kid in a purple top hat jumped through the air, performed a double jump, rolled through the air and skidded to a stop under their table.
“GET THAT KID!” a cat chef shouted, running out of the kitchen.
“Um, Harrow?” Strix asked. “Did she actually steal anything?”
“What? No, she just found one of those jiggy things that bear’s been hiding around the city! IN MY CUPBOARD! Nobody is supposed to be back here! She violated company policy!”
“...But didn’t take anything.”
“I don’t CARE! I want the Everykid taken out of her hiding spot and told her place in existence! Just because she’s a collectathoner doesn't mean she gets to waltz everywhere!”
“Harrow, calm down, she’s just a kid…”
“The Everykid, weren’t you listening?”
“Harrow, these nice ponies are waiting for their meal…”
The cat yowled in frustration, threw his hat on the ground, and marched back into the kitchen.
“Sorry about that,” Strix said, coming over to them. “He’s irritable when it’s busy. Very irritable. Your food might be delayed a bit because of this.”
“We aren’t going anywhere,” Havocwing declared. “I’m hungry.”
“Glad to hear it!” Strix grinned and moved to talk to another group.
Curaçao poked her head under the table. “Everykid, was it?”
The Everykid nodded, an innocent smile on her face.
“Collectazoner… you collect zings? And ‘unt zem down all over ze city?”
The Everykid nodded again.
“Well zen… how would you like to ‘elp us find a ‘villain’ by ze name of Silvertongue after lunch ‘ere?”
The Everykid’s eyes sparkled. She nodded vigorously.
“Glad to ‘ear it.” Curaçao pulled her head out from under the table. “It looks as zough we ‘ave more luck zan we realize.”
Havocwing looked under the table. “Our ally is a kid?”
Grayscale smirked. “That’s not a kid.”
“But every kid.”
“How long until Havocwing figures it out? Bets, anyone?”
“Five bits on five minutes!” Velvet said.
“We all share a bank account,” Shadow muttered.
“Figure what out?” Insipid asked.
The group proceeded to laugh. Despite their misison’s urgency, they gave themselves a moment to eat lunch.
And yes, they did pay. They even snuck food down to the Everykid to spite Harrow.
The nuclear spicy noodles were way, way too much. Nopony touched them more than once.
~~~
“Listen up, ladies!” Mattie said, cracking her whip again. She towered over the three Sweeties not only because she was a tall Rarity, but also because her sleek black boots gave her a significant height increase. “We’ve got training to do!”
“...How did we get here?” Curio asked, bewildered. They were in some kind of dojo in a Japanese-influenced district of Celestia City, far from the standard metropolis area the League of Sweetie Belles was located within.
Mattie lashed, careful to make the whip crack in front of Curio. Curio flinched, dropping her tablet and pen.
“You could have hit me with that!”
“That’s the idea!” Cryo said, giggling. “It is time for training through hell!”
“I want to pass,” Tab said. “Can I pass?”
“You already tried,” Mattie reminded her, smirking. “None… can escape… the beating!”
“Yes, master,” Cryo said, bowing.
“...Ew,” Tab and Curio said at the same time.
“I would prefer mistress…” Mattie mused.
“It’s master or sensei, deal with it.”
“Master it is! Fits with my energy more.” She cracked her whips. “Now, montage!”
~~~
“Lesson three: dodge.”
“Dodge?” Curio asked.
“Yes. DODGE!” She threw a pillow at Curio faster than she could react. It hit her right in the face, tossing her back.
Curio shook her head, getting back up and making a note on her tablet.
“Why do you have that?” Tab asked.
“Taking notes for the ponies back home. I’m writing a book about the multiverse for them.”
“We have books like that. I could be your book like that.”
“They don’t trust you. Or anypony, really.”
~~~
“Lesson six: become at peace with the universe.”
Mattie examined the three Sweeties standing motionlessly on a vat of reverse-oobleck: motionlessness kept them afloat, moving would make them sink.
Cryo sneezed and started drowning.
“Really? A sneeze?!”
“But master!”
“You failed, there’s nothing else to be done.”
“...Teach me. Teach me more! Teach me more intensely!”
Tab groaned. “This can’t possibly be helping…”
~~~
“Lesson thirteen: dancing!”
Mattie gestured at the metal poles beside her. “These are poles. Dance on them.”
“Okay!” Cryo said, charging.
“Hold it!” Tab shouted, grabbing Cryo in her telekinesis. “Mattie, this isn’t training, this is you feeding your outrageously perverted mindset. It isn-”
Mattie slung onto a pole, grabbing it with one of her whips and using the centrifugal force to smack Tab across the room. “You’ll find that the art of the pole is very effective, Tab. Allow me to demonstrate…” She cracked her whip and several cardboard cutouts appeared around the pole with painted monsters on them. She twisted around the pole with alarming rapidity, punching, smashing, jumping, and cleverly angling her whips and boots into each monster with amazing accuracy.
Not a single one remained a few seconds later.
Mattie coiled her whips up and affixed them to her back boots. “May I remind you that Celia’s entire combat strategy revolves around a spinning top’s pole?”
Tab stared at her in disbelief.
“You may have wanted to ask your tablet about this one. Now that I’ve proven myself… dance!”
“Yes ma’am!” Tab and Curio said. Cryo, naturally, went with “master.”
~~~
“Lesson twenty-seven and a half: RAIN.”
The four of them stood somewhere it was raining.
“...Interesting…” Curio said, scribbling a note.
~~~
“Lesson negative three-fourths: fighting in overly frivolous dresses.”
The three sweeties were in dresses two sizes too large for them that had excessively poofy bottoms and sleeves that bunched up all for the sake of ruffling.
Tab and Curio tripped immediately while Cryo opted to use her ice to get around rather than rely on her legs.
~~~
“Lesson pickles in a jar: PAIN!”
The three Sweeties prepared for the whips - but they got none. Mattie only whipped herself.
“Uh…” Curio began.
“Oh, the pain wasn’t physical. You’re going to be watching paint dry.”
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Cryo wailed.
~~~
“Lesson outdated reference: standing up school!”
The three Sweeties stood at attention, refusing to fail.
Mattie drop-kicked the three of them. “And you fail!”
~~~
“Lesson shopping: bucket of fish.”
Cryo purchased a bucket of fish. “Here, master.”
“What are you going to do with that?” Curio asked, continually taking notes.
“I’m going to turn it into a fragrance and put it in my room,” Mattie responded, fixing Tab with a mischievous look.
Tab decided not to consult the tablet on what that meant.
~~~
“Lesson sugoi: ANIME POSES!”
Cryo screamed in rage and surrounded herself in a burst of ice, nailing it.
Tab sighed. “This is pointless.”
“Is it?” Curio asked, her eyes shielded from view by a glint on her visor. “Or is it really a secret method by which to increase our stature as Sweeties, to put us ever closer on the path to Agent hood?” She adjusted her visor, the light shimmering off the edges perfectly. Sakura petals fell around her in slow motion, “I for one welcome this challenge.”
Mattie whistled. “Nice going.”
Curio smirked. “I do pay attention.”
~~~
“And this completes montage training,” Mattie said, bowing. They were back in the League’s lobby.
Curio beamed “I’ve never trained in a group before, this has been an amazing experience!” She smiled at Mattie, “Thanks for the opportunity.”
“You’re welcome, mate. All a day in the life of the montage queen.”
“Wait a minute…” Cryo blinked. “I didn’t actually learn anything about the fourth or ka from you! I was supposed to be able to go head to head with Cinder after this!”
“Psh, like that’s something that can be taught.”
“Cinder figured it out just fine.”
Mattie smiled knowingly. “She did, didn’t she?”
Tab sighed. “Was there any point to this, Mattie?”
“The montage? Not really. But I’m somewhere around ninety-percent sure we need to be right here right now.”
None other than Skuldie Belle, spirit of the future for Earth Shimmer, kicked in the door to the League of Sweetie Belles, looking immensely frazzled. “I. Need… help.”
Nausicaa ran out of her office the moment Skuldie appeared. “What do you need?”
“Someone’s taken Scootaloo,” Skuldie said. “I can’t see her anywhere… and Apple Bloom’s having difficulty tracking her through the past…”
“The incarnation of the present is missing!?” Nausicaa grimaced. “I’ll get right on that, a team will be sent to accompany you in your investigation…”
Mattie coughed. “We’re available.”
Nausicaa looked at Cryo and Curio. “Mattie, this is no time for gam-”
“I am not joking, we are available. And last I checked, me and Tab were full Agents and can bring whoever we want along with us for any reason.”
Nausicaa bristled. “This is a serious matter, harlot.”
Mattie’s smile vanished. “Mate, you might wanna take a gander at a dictionary and freshen up on what a ‘harlot’ is, maybe you can put that educated legalistic mind of yours to good work instead of drowning everypony around you in paperwork. I am a flirtatious masochist who, believe it or not, actually finds it a little difficult to get a partner. Can’t imagine why, it’s not like I make it a hobby of mine to make people exceedingly uncomfortable twenty-four seven or anything, pfft. My job is, may I remind you, Agent of the League of Sweetie Belles and your premier source for all meta knowledge. I have a big, long, important title I can’t remember right now but I’m sure you have all the paperwork about it in your head, so look at that title and remember who exactly you’re talking to, secretary.”
Nausicaa didn’t back down. “Mattie, you have ste-”
“I do not leave this building without her,” Skuldie said. “So kindly drop your vendetta against her unprofessional attitude and let us find Scootaloo. Apple Bloom has already reported the incident to your superiors. You don’t need to do anything.”
Nausicaa frowned. “All I did that day was my job, Skuldie.”
“By interrogating half the ponies in this room.”
Nausicaa spread her wings and flew deeper into the League.
Cryo was staring at Mattie with stars in her eyes. “Teach me your ways…”
Mattie laughed. “You do not want my ways, Cryo. But I’m already your master so I don’t see why we can’t pass on a few things while we’re at it.”
Tab put a hoof to her head. “I always forget that Mattie is one of the oldest members of the League…”
“Pretend to be the fool…” Curio mused, scribbling more notes into her data pad.
Mattie turned to Skuldie. “So, Scootaloo, incarnation of the present moment, is missing. Sounds like someone wants to get away with something without risking her knowing about it.”
Skuldie nodded. “That’s what we think too.”
“When did you see her last?”
“Yesterday. She went home early, was tired. We haven’t seen her since.”
“No trace?”
“Apple Bloom is trying, but there were dimensional portals involved, which makes her sight… problematic.”
“So, the question remains, who would take Scootaloo?”
“The Fay are known to kidnap humans as part of larger plans,” Curio suggested.
Everyone stared at her.
Curio took a step back, “I might have read up on Earth Shimmer before coming here. They sound like exactly the kind of people who would do this.”
“They… do…” Skuldie said, frowning.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Cryo asked. “Let’s go find some Fay!” She paused. “...If it’s okay with master.”
Mattie raised an eyebrow. “The anime protagonist is satisfied with not being the leader? Consider me impressed.”
“Cinder’s not the leader either. We are mirroring her, after all.”
Mattie giggled. “I suppose we are… But there’s five of us right now.”
“I am not going to be a permanent member of this madness,” Tab muttered. “...But I will help find Scootaloo.”
“We all will,” Curio said.
“Because we’re the heroes!” Cryo declared.
~~~
The Everykid almost never spoke.
But that didn’t matter to Starlight Shadow, because she’d found the best way to gather information about people who wouldn’t talk.
The Internet access on her new phone.
“The Everykid,” she read aloud as they all followed the Everykid down a flight of stairs into the depths of Celestia City, “is the most well-known instance of the Everyman, an entity that has a shared consciousness split across millions of universes. Unlike many facets of the Everyman, the Everykid is known to refuse assistance from her other selves and actively works for Merodi Universalis information storage. She was first encountered…”
“What have you done?” Havocwing asked, grabbing Grayscale’s face. “That thing you bought for her has turned her into an encyclopedia!”
“It’s useful. With her obsessive streak she’ll figure it out long before we will.”
“But she wooon’t shuuut uuuuup…”
“Oh, I could talk over her!” Insipid offered.
“Nononononono we’re good in that department!”
Insipid rolled her eyes. “Curie, Havoc’s being insulting again.”
“Didn’t you make a veiled insult jar, ‘Avocwing?” Curaçao asked.
“And I have received absolutely no payment for that idea,” Havocwing muttered.
“Grayscale’s the one with the money,” Velvet said. “...Wait, did she convert all our bits?”
Grayscale held out a golden bit before hiding it within her wings once again.
“Wait a minute,” Velvet said, blinking. “We’re nude, how are we holding bits?”
Grayscale froze. “...I have no idea.”
In the silence that followed, they could hear Shadow’s monologue. “...and cats ended up being the paramount icon for the phenomenon known as ‘Internet memes’. Today we remember fondly the likes of grumpy cat, ceiling cat, and others that exist in many forms across the multiverse…”
“...I think you clicked one too many links,” Velvet said.
Shadow looked up from her phone. “Huh? There’s such a thing as too many links?”
“I believe zat zing is getting to your ‘ead,” Curaçao said. “Per’aps it would be best if you set it down?”
“What? No!” Shadow pulled the phone closer to herself. “This is an amazing device of tangible benefit to our situation! As I am the most expedient learner in our troop, the task falls to me.”
“Just watch yourself,” Curaçao said. “We know little about the etiquette f-”
“Over here!” the Everykid called, waving at them from the bottom of the stairwell. In their discussion they had stopped following as closely and had fallen behind.
Shadow teleported them down to the base of the stairs. She watched with curiosity as the ‘child’ tapped her hat again, asking it once more where ‘the goal’ was. A magical artifact that always pointed to an object of importance… Shadow had no idea how it worked. Granted, the article had told her the hat wasn’t foolproof, but the fact that it worked at all was astounding.
What sort of magic keyed off fate itself?
Perhaps something other than magic? Some of the other things she’d been reading suggested there were other sources of power. The multiverse was far too large to limit itself to just one method of doing the physically impossible, clearly.
The Everykid’s hat pointed at a single door. CELESTIA CITY DIMENSIONAL MECHANISMS, AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.
Grayscale took a step forward. “I got this…”
The Everykid held up a hand, pulling out her identification. She slapped it onto the front of the door. It recognized her and granted her access.
“...Wow, their luck really did pass onto us,” Velvet said. “Sweet.”
“The Everykin is our Lockwart!”
“Everykid, Lockwood,” Curaçao corrected.
“Right, sorry.”
They walked through the door into a large, expansive area lined not with stairs and smooth walls but immense pipes channeling multicolored energy from different parts of the city to a large, spherical globe of black metal. Unlike most of the city’s main structure, which was made of smooth white metal, this material was rough, knobby, and coarse. Likely a material used for industrial purposes that didn’t need to look sleek.
Shadow entered a search term into her phone, bringing up an image of what they were looking at. “Celestia City dimensional drive: a sphere of power responsible for moving Celestia City through universes. The city has several, but only one is required to initiate a jump, even in emergency situations. The redundancy is rarely used, though in times of great need multiple can be used at once to perform an instant jump or move smaller planetary bodies.”
“And that’s our goal!” Havocwing declared. “We just need t-” She saw the Everykid shaking her head. “Oh come on!”
The Everykid pointed to the left, away from the dimensional drive, along the path of a glowing green pipe. She jumped ahead, inviting them to follow.
With no warning, she was frozen solid in a block of ice.
“We’re under attack!” Havocwing shouted, spreading her wings. “Be prepared for anything!”
With a flash of sickly blue energy, an orange unicorn with a red and ice-blue mane appeared on top of the Everykid’s cube. She was jaw-droppingly elegant - her legs perfectly poised, her mane combed back to accentuate her face, her tail carefully framing her plot and cold sun cutie mark. With a single eyebrow raise, she made them shiver. “What a bunch of excellent specimens… the beauty of harmony with just enough of a bad streak to make you risky.” She licked her lips. “Such a shame.”
“Oh… my…” Insipid took a few steps back. “Wh… what do you do to your mane?”
“You want to learn my secrets?” the unicorn chuckled. “How interested are we talking here?”
“...Nopony’s perfect…” Insipid muttered to herself.
“But some ponies are closer to perfection than others.”
“You?” Havocwing laughed. “I may not be a fashionista, but blue and red? That’s jarring!”
The cold unicorn raised an eyebrow. “Jarring enough to be noticed.” She teleported right in front of Havocwing and put a hoof on her face. “Jarring enough to ignite the flames within all…”
Havocwing tried to punch her with her fire, but the mare teleported away - leaving a frozen sheen around Havocwing’s hoof. “What th-”
“Already presenting, are we? Well well, far be it from me not to give you a show…” She lit her horn and announced her magical presence to the six of them.
Shadow put her phone away. “Your output is insignificant compared to mine.”
“Care to demonstrate?”
“I will not be caught unaware through a perverted ritual.”
The unicorn pursed her lips. “You’re no fun.”
“Really? I think we’re a lot of fun!” Velvet said, grinning. “And you’re about to find out, toothpaste!”
“I am Diamond Inferno. And I will not be ‘finding out’ today. I only need the Ever-”
Curaçao punched Inferno from behind while invisible, tossing her to the ground. “Shadow! Ze Everykid!”
“On it!” Shadow declared, surrounding the box of ice in magic, preparing to teleport her away.
“NOT HAPPENING!” Inferno shouted, lighting her horn. Suddenly, Shadow could see Silvertongue looking at her… hungrily.
“F-father…” Shadow said, backing away, losing all focus on her spell.
He took a few slow, commanding steps toward her. “My sweetest dau-”
Velvet cut through the apparition with her bloody tendril. “Snap out of it Shadow!”
Shadow’s heart was racing. “I… Wh…”
“Deal with whatever it was you saw later!” Havocwing shouted, hurling fire at Inferno. “We need to stop her!”
Grayscale increased gravity around Inferno and the Everykid’s cube. Insipid jumped forward, hoof extended in Inferno’s direction…
“Nice try, girls,” Inferno said, completing her teleport. She and the Everykid were gone.
“DAMMIT!” Havocwing shouted. “DAMMIT!”
Velvet ran to Shadow. “Shadow, that wasn’t real, she-”
“She’s like you,” Shadow said, shivering. “That… that must have been my worst fear.”
“...I’m pretty sure her thing’s not fear, Shadow.”
“It was definitely fear,” Shadow denied.
Velvet bit her lip. “I’m not done talking to you.” She bounded away, appearing next to Insipid. “Did you get anything?”
“She got away from me before I could grab anything!” Insipid whined. “Major unfresh! I wanted cold sexy powers…”
Grayscale facehooved.
Havocwing folded her wings. “We have two options. We try to find her, or we go the direction she was telling us to go.”
“Both of zose ‘ave ze ‘we ‘ave no idea where we are going’ problem,” Curaçao pointed out.
“Well we have to choose one and choose it fast!”
“No, you won’t.”
A tall unicorn Sweetie appeared behind them, a miffed expression on her face.
“H-hi!” Havocwing stuttered, an awkward smile on her face. “We were just looking around, new in the city and a-”
Curaçao interrupted her. “We’re new on ze city and were traveling with ze Everykid. We ‘ave just been attacked by a mare who calls herself Diamond Inferno zat stole ze Everykid away from us.”
The Sweetie put a hoof to her head. “Oi, this is gonna be a mess… we’ll investigate this Diamond Inferno, and if you’re telling the truth you won’t be charged for entering a restricted area. But I have to take you away - Mayor Blumiere has demanded an audience with you six concerning the silver tongue prophecy.”
Havocwing blinked. “The Mayor?”
“The silver tongue prophecy is a big deal, in case you haven’t heard. Seers and fortune tellers alike have been losing their collective marbles over its paradoxical importance and vagueness. He wants to see you as soon as possible.”
“We need t-”
“You will be well compensated and, whatever your quest is, he will help in any way you wish upon conclusion of the meeting.”
Curaçao nudged Havocwing. “Getting ze mayor of ze capital on our good side is a very good idea.”
“But the Everykid…”
“...Your call, ‘Avocowing.”
Havocwing frowned. “Probably a bad idea to resist, right?”
The Sweetie nodded. “Exceedingly so.”
“Fine.”
Velvet cleared her throat. “Take us to your leader.”
“That was a cool line!” Insipid complimented.
“Thank you.”
~~~
Earth Shimmer.
Depending on who you talked to, it was Heaven on Earth, Hell on Earth, or just Earth on Not Earth. Or was that the other way around?
Either way, the entire place was Oversaturate-
“You suck.”
Mattie, you aren’t in this scene, go away.
...The entire place was infused with magic not just from the local Equis (which was still trying and failing to not be called Equis Shimmer) but also from Fay realms, pocket dimensions, its own subtle magics, and whatever unholy eldritch spawn that had dropped off from eldritch deities that decided to pass through in time immemorial. Numerous systems of magic had been identified coming from no less than four distinct origins, and all of them integrated in ways that were just complex enough to elude distinct definitions by the local scientists but held just enough of a pattern to make people think there must be a true unified theory of Earth Shimmer magic.
And when you give humans rampant access to magic in the ‘modern’ setting, well…
“I just created a self-aware replicating chirp that keeps demanding jellybeans.”
Overhearing conversations involving lines like the above were somewhat commonplace. The exact above sentence had, in fact, been said six times word-for-word in the history of Earth Shimmer between the revitalization of magic and the “present” time.
If one were to count minor variations, the number would shoot up to nineteen. Because of course it would.
Conversations that normally didn’t happen?
“About time the Merodi finally got their stupid city in here, they’ve been advertising this for years.”
But in one hour that single sentence had been spoken more than a thousand times. If the economy wasn't booming due to the sudden presence of Merodi traders, the world governments might have been concerned they oversold the arrival.
At least they hadn’t decided to make it a holiday. Worldwide, anyway, there were a few countries that were seriously considering marking this as ‘multiverse day’.
Cinder, Blink, Sequin, and Brook were lucky enough to be in Canterlot, the most magical city on Earth, home to Shimmy and most of her friends. This allowed them to hear both the “chirp” comment and the “Merodi” one at the same time while they sat at a cafe. The waitresses were doting over the ‘absolutely adorable little ponies’. Brook and Sequin were more than willing to be cute for them, Blink was not.
Cinder was busy trying to make calls.
“Rarity?”
“Hmm?” her sister asked from the other side.
“Right, so my phone’s not broken…” Cinder frowned. “Rarity, I’m getting a bad feeling and I have no idea why.”
“...Should I come over? Travel to Earth Shimmer is public at the moment.”
“No, no, stay there. Whatever goes down, you probably shouldn’t get involved.”
Rarity gave her a face that indicated she wasn’t convinced. “Stay safe.”
“I always do.” She put her phone down. “Okay, my phone’s not busted. Skuldie’s just not answering.”
Sequin stopped giving the waitresses a cute smile for a moment. “The embodiment of the future… isn’t answering phone calls?”
“Yeah, it’s weird.” She munched on her daisy sandwich. “Maybe Curaçao is already talking with her?”
“You think she’d alleviate our concerns by giving a pity answer if nothing was wrong…” Sequin mused. “Then again, I don’t know her, I’m just going off your descriptions of the m- woman.”
“Is there some other way we can get to her?” Twilight asked.
“I don’t know her sister’s number,” Cinder shrugged. “Blink?”
“If Swip were nearby I could ask her.” Blink reclined further in her chair. “But phone numbers aren’t exactly public.”
Cinder frowned. “...I want to say everything’s fine and we shouldn’t worry, but something is definitely going on. Maybe we can get Shimmy’s attention somehow? Ask her?”
“Or we could just ask the absolutely glamorous woman that just walked in!” Sequin squeaked, pointing at the human Rarity that had walked in, arms laced with an Applejack. “Yoo-hoo! Rarity, right?”
Rarity turned to them, lowering her tinted glasses. “Is that really what I sound like when I call you?”
“Eeyep,” Applejack said.
“I think I need to re-examine the methods by which I throw my voice…” She shook her head. “Yes, I’m Rarity. Don’t have another name just yet, I try to stay grounded.”
“I’m Sequin. This is my wife, Brook.”
Brook examined Rarity and Applejack and the matching rings on their fingers. “You two…?”
Rarity giggled. “Yes, us two.”
Brook glanced from Sequin to Applejack and back to Sequin again. “I can’t see it.”
“B-brook! Rude!” Sequin chided.
“But Rar- Sequin, you? And Applejack?”
“I’m sure she’s a very capable farmer and a hard worker.”
“She has absolutely no fashion sense and hasn’t the foggiest idea what beauty actually is.”
“I resent that,” Applejack said. “...Though she’s right that Ah don’t have no fashion sense.”
Brook blushed. “S-sorry. Just a bit much to take in.”
Rarity smirked. “Would you like to see who you landed, dear?”
Brook’s blush only increased in intensity. “I have the distinct impression you’re going to call her here right now.”
“Oh, you do know me,” Rarity said, prompting both her and Sequin to giggle madly.
“Ah’m sorry,” Applejack said, fixing Brook with a forlorn expression.
“...Will I survive?”
“Not with your dignity intact.”
“Oh. I already lost that.”
“TWILIGHT!” Sequin shouted, flushing.
“Ahem. Brook,” Brook made an attempt to keep a calm exterior, but she couldn't keep her own face from matching Sequin’s flush.
“Oh, gag me with a spoon,” Blink muttered, ramming her face into the table.
Cinder patted her on the back. “There the- wait. Spoon?”
“Don’t ask. I don’t even know.”
Rarity closed her phone. “And she should be here right about…”
Twilight teleported into the diner - not by her own power, but by the power of none other than the guardian of harmony for Earth Shimmer, Shimmy herself.
“What did you need us for?” Twilight asked, adjusting her glasses.
Shimmy took one look from the various flushed expressions on the humans and ponies at the table and understood instantly. “Ah. It looks like a public display of affection is in order.”
Twilight blinked. “Hold on wh-”
The next thing she knew Shimmy had bent her over and was kissing her.
A camera flash went off somewhere in the diner. An orange fruit flew from elsewhere. “I’m relevant!”
Twilight scrambled away. “Sunset! In publ-” She saw the expression on her other self and Sequin. “Oh. I am currently unsure if these responses were worth the public awkwardness or not.”
Shimmy shrugged. “Strictly speaking, I probably have to get one of those in every month or so, you at least got something out of it this time.”
“True. It is a clever allocation of resources. Oh, and their expressions appear to get better the more we discuss, excellent.”
“...Am I allowed to be jealous of you?” Sequin asked Brook.
“Only if I can be jealous of myself.”
“Permission granted.”
“Okay.”
Rarity was chuckling uncontrollably.
“You’re evil,” Applejack pointed out.
“I know!” Rarity couldn't help but laugh. “The Infinite Carousel better watch it’s back, this Rarity’s coming for them!”
“...Still ventin’ about the Carousel?”
“I am not selling my business out to a bunch of morally ambiguous whitewashed elitist…” she ran out of words. “Twilight?”
“Arrogant?” Twilight suggested.
“Self-aggrandizing?” Brook added.
“Stuck-up?”
“Prissy?” Applejack suggested.
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Har-de-har…”
“Wait a minute…” Brook furrowed her brow. “Three same-sex couples? I’m not all that well versed in the probability of romance, but that seems… unlikely.”
Cinder smirked. “It’s a ka trait unique to the Equis Cluster, I found out. Statistically, the rate of such pairings is completely normal on average. But if you’re a main character the chances of you ending up in a lesbian relationship - lesbian specifically - goes up from about ten percent to about ninety.”
“...Why?”
“Ka?”
“That’s… not really an explanation, from what I read ka does stuff for reasons. This just seems… frivolous!”
Sequin made fake puppydog eyes. “Are you saying I’m frivolous?”
“What? No. Well, yes, you are, but not in that way! I, uh…” Brook rammed her head into the table.
Shimmy tensed, turning slowly to her left to see a black and green human sitting at a far table, staring intently at them. “Hey. Do you mind?”
“Uh… sorry! Sorry!” The human scrambled out of her seat and ran out of the cafe.
Blink lowered her sunglasses. “Huh. I didn’t think Earth Shimmer had changelings…”
“It’s an overlayed Aspect,” Rarity explained. “They’re a free-loving hive-mind collective.”
“Orgy club,” Applejack said.
“Applejack!”
“What, that explains what they are better than… whatever it is you just said.”
“They’re so much more than that! They… well admittedly it’s a little distasteful to speak of in public company…”
“What’s an orgy?” Cinder asked.
Brook, blushing furiously, showed Cinder the definition of the word on her phone.
“SWEET CELESTIA.” Cinder jumped into Blink’s hooves. “Keep me away from these changelings.”
“...I wish I could say that wasn’t an appropriate response…” Shimmy muttered.
“The ironic part is they call themselves the ‘Wholesome,’” Twilight deadpanned.
“I think we’ve all gotten horribly off track,” Blink muttered, clearing her throat. “AHEM. Skuldie isn’t answering her phone. We were going to ask Rarity, but Shimmy, since you’re here…”
Shimmy nodded, closing her eyes. “She’s on Celestia City, in the League of Sweetie Belles right now. She seems stressed… I can go pop in to check on h-”
Suddenly, Shimmy stumbled, eyes going wide. It was as if something very fundamental in her personal reality had gone askew - and considering who she was, this was decidedly concerning. “Oh no…”
“What?” Everyone asked.
“Something’s gone wrong at Warehouse 97…”
“...What’s Warehouse 97…?” Sequin asked, wavering.
“It’s classified and it has a lot of dark magic in it…” Shimmy bit her lip. “Why today…?”
Cinder sighed. “Could it have happened any other day?”
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Interesting.
Oh sweetest motherest of CelestAI! This is awesum!
I remember the warehouse, spooky stuff. And Cinder looses her innocence bit by bit. Not by violence or terror, but by friends letting slip naughty words.
I'm loving this Arc! I was actually checking my tracking every day just for this, I don't usually do that. I'm excited for part 3 of 8!!
Things are going great, I liked the brief encounter of the human pony characters here :D, we will see good stuff soon.
To be fair, if she hadn't said something, I would have.
Ah, different parings interacting. One of those fun bits of playing with the multiverse that SotS hasn't done much with. Glad I suggested it. It's a nice bit of levity to contrast what will happen next.
Can I just say that I REALLY don't like this Silvertongue creep?
On the other hand, I like Havocwing and her group :3
So... how long until the Mane 6 are freed from their stone prisons?
9713452
Spoilers:
Eventually. More spoiler relating to specifics below.
The Crown Princess does eventually get to them, but given the sheer amount of STUFF happening, the Crisis Six don't have as much of a spotlight as the mean six or Silvertongue.
-GM, master of dots and dashes
I'm very confused even if I know exactly what is happening
Stop asking for the definition of words, Cinder! 😇
Not never, it's just not something they care about.
Why not? I could see not having time to find replacement suits, but no clothes? Five minutes and they could have found something.
Hmm. Silver tounge prophecy. Where was that from?
Edit from the future: 11189323 Thanks for highlighting that past me. It really is super vague.
Is Entrapta trying to get the lab to herself, or give a friend a good time? Both make sense. The paranoia and the trust have yet to sort themselves out.
Please tell me that's a typo. Or maybe it's a meal for two. Just so long as it's not what it sounds like.
I remember warehouse 97. That... okay, it's probably not any worse than Scootaloo's disappearance or the Crown Princess's involvement.