Stuck In The Middle With You

by Vargras

Day 2 - Buried in Books

Luna had decided to start things off fairly simple. They would make a trip to the Royal Library and spend their time there reading, either to themselves or aloud. The Princess doubted anything could possibly go wrong with such a plan - after all, with books, there was something for everypony. The motley crew of ponies had drawn several stares from the librarians, and though they weren't exactly pleased that the Royal Library had been 'reduced to a zoo', there was little they could do so long as both Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle were there.

The Princess of the Night, the Elements of Harmony, and Pip sat in a circle in the middle of the library, each of them with their own respective books. Luna and Twilight both busied themselves with astronomy guides or scientific journals, and Fluttershy had her face buried in a book dedicated to the flora and fauna of Equestria. Pinkie Pie, for whatever reason, had decided to read a cook book. Considering that it was filled with nothing but recipes, there wasn't much of anything that had any real literary value. Applejack had taken up her sisterly role once more, reading a pop-up book aloud for Pip, who sat at her side. Rainbow Dash, not surprisingly, had settled on a comic book about the Wonderbolts, and Rarity was reading... financial reports. The unicorn had refused to let any of the others actually take a look at it, but she claimed it discussed the prices and projections for several gemstones she used in her work.

Luna was quite pleased with herself. Everypony was buried in a book of some sort, and they all seemed to be enjoying their time there. With a soft cough, she managed to pull their attention away from their books, and she moved on to the next stage of her plan. "Now then, how about we all go around in a circle and read a small excerpt from whatever book we're reading? It gives everypony else a small taste of what you like to read. Twilight Sparkle, would you like to go first?"

"Of course! Ahem." The lavender mare cleared her throat and propped up her book, titled Astronomy for Foals. "I need a little refresher sometimes, so it's good to get back to the basics. Anywho, a star begins as a collapsing cloud of material composed primarily of hydrogen, along with helium and trace amounts of heavier elements. Once the stellar core is sufficiently dense, some of the hydrogen is steadily converted into helium through the process of nuclear fusion. The remainder of the star's interior carries energy away from the core through a combination of radiative and convective processes. The star's internal pressure prevents it from collapsing further under its own gravity. Once the hydrogen... Luna, why are you grinning?"

The young Princess was grinning very widely at this point, and it would have been impossible for her to hide it. She slowly shook her head while waving a hoof dismissively, the grin steadily fading. "Sorry, I was making stars the night before you all arrived, and the books make it sound so complex. I think that's enough of an excerpt though."

"Wait... you what?!" Twilight stared at the Princess, dumbfounded.

"I'll show you another time. Next please! Fluttershy, would you like to tell us what your book is about?"

"Oh, um... certainly. I was flipping through this book on Equestrian wildlife, and I found a small section on mythological creatures, particularly a section about phoenixes and all the wonderful things they can do. I mean, Princess Celestia already told me so much about them like how long they live, but I didn't know there was so much more to know and... um, I was wondering if..." The yellow pegasus had gradually from rambling to a series of mumbles, and Luna cocked her head as she stared at Fluttershy.

She wasn't sure if the pegasus simply wasn't used to large crowds, or if Fluttershy was still somewhat intimidated by her presence. With a sigh, the young Princess turned back towards the rest of the group. "Did... anypony else catch what she said?"

"Oh, oh! I heard!" Pinkie Pie had a hoof up in the air, waving it wildly about. "She wanted to know how long you and your sister have had Philomena!"

"Well, we've... had Philomena for quite some time. Thousands of years, really. She belonged to our mother and father before they passed away. Does that answer your question, Fluttershy?" The yellow pegasus slowly nodded, and Luna smiled before turning to the next pony in the circle. "Though it wasn't much of an excerpt, I think it'll suffice. Pinkie Pie, mind giving us a bit from what you're reading?"

The pink earth pony smiled and pulled out a pair of reading glasses from... somewhere, placing them onto her muzzle and acting as serious as she could as she began to read. "Preheat oven to three-hundred and fifty degrees. Line cupcake pans with paper liners. Combine all ingredients into large mixing bowl. Mix at low speed for thirty seconds, and scrape bowl. Mix at high speed for three minutes. Fill liners one-half to two-thirds full of batter. Bake twenty to twenty-five minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool ten minutes in pans then remove from pan, and place on wire racks to cool completely. Frost when chocolate cupcakes are completely cool."

Luna stared at her, as did the rest of the group. The young Princess cleared her throat and peered at Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, you... just read us a recipe. For cupcakes."

"I know!"

"Uh... right then." The Princess of the Night laughed nervously before looking over at Applejack and Pip. "Would you two care to read a bit to us?"

Both ponies nodded and began, with Pip turning the pages and Applejack reading aloud. "One day, a mother turned ta her three foals an' said 'Ya'll need ta go out an' live a little, explore th' world an' all'."

"And so they could get rich and stuff!" Pip grinned widely after including his own little line, causing a few other grins throughout the circle. Applejack chuckled and shook her head before continuing.

"Th' three ponies were awful determined ta make their mama proud, so they all went out into Equestria an' made some homes of their own. Little did they know, though, that a mean ole' manticore was followin' 'em. Th' first pony was a lil' bit lazy and built his house outta hay, and when the manticore showed up, it didn' take much ta knock it down." During Applejack's telling of the tale, Pip was making all manner of facial expressions and mannerisms to go along with the story. Even if it wasn't for the entertainment of others, the colt was enjoying himself. "He was awful scared, so he ran ta his sister's house. She worked a lil' bit harder, and had built her house outta sticks, but it still didn' take much effort fer th' manticore ta knock it down. Finally, the two of 'em ran ta their older brother's house. He had always worked awful hard an' was smarter than th' other two, considerin' he built his house outta bricks. Well, the manticore showed up, an' it tried an' tried ta knock down th' house but it couldn'. It eventually got so tired of tryin' ta knock down th' house that it gave up, an' the mean ole' manticore left th' three ponies alone forever."

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were all softly clapping their hooves together, and Luna gave the pair a warm smile and a nod. "You both did a great job, thank you. Rainbow Dash, would you like to tell us about what you read?"

The cyan pegasus huffed and crossed her forelegs. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash. You have to. I know you picked a comic book, but you can still tell us what it was about." Luna offered Rainbow Dash a smile, and the pegasus relented.

"Ugh. Fine. Okay, so... my book was about the Wonderbolts, but whoever made it got it all wrong." She tapped a hoof against the cover of the comic book and briefly gave it a scrutinizing eye. "They should have consulted an expert first!"

Applejack grinned and raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Rainbow Dash. "Ya say that like yer some expert on the Wonderbolts."

"Because I am! Have you seen me? I'm just as good as any of them! I've talked with Spitfire, and Soarin', and-"

"Alright, so let's say you're an expert on the Wonderbolts." Luna leaned forward slightly as she looked over at the cyan pegasus. "What's wrong with it? What did they do wrong?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and sighed. "They're not cool enough, of course! Whoever wrote it was all 'Oh, Spitfire could never do that move, so we're just gonna have her fly around and do boring stuff', but she totally could do it!"

"And that's the only thing wrong with it?" The Princess raised an eyebrow, and Rainbow Dash paused for a moment.

"Well... yeah. The art was good, I guess."

Luna grinned faintly and slowly shook her head. "Right then. Rarity, what's your book about?"

The white mare wasn't entirely paying attention and began to absentmindedly read aloud. "The Princess beckoned the stallion over, her burning gaze never leaving his. As he approached, she leaned down to him and whispered in a sultry tone, 'I grow awfully bored during the long nights. Why don't you come to my chambers and offer me some... entertainment'. The stallion grinned in returned and offered a low bow. 'As you wish, Princess Celesti-'"

"Give me that." Luna's horn briefly glowed as she yanked a book from Rarity, revealing that there had been two books in her possession all along. The unicorn had been keeping it hidden within the financial reports. The Princess of the Night briefly flipped through it, her face remaining emotionless as she did so, and she eventually shut the book and stared at the cover. "'The Princess and the Pool Boy'. A romance novel. About my own sister, no less."

Rarity nervously laughed as Luna conjured forth a magical flame and threw the book into it, the alicorn smiling somewhat as it was reduced to ash and cinders. With that little affair taken care of, she banished the flame once more and stood up from her place in the circle.

"I think now would be a good time for a break."

-----

"A romance novel about Luna's own sister?! Are you trying to get yourself banished and then thrown in a dungeon in the place she banishes you to?!"

"I didn't know, Twilight, honest! I saw the cover and simply thought it would be an interesting read! How was I to know it would be about Princess Celestia?"

It was lunch time, and the seven guests were all seated around a single table within the dining room. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had elected to stay out of the conversation, and were instead trading and trying each others food. Applejack found herself trying - and failing - to explain what a romance novel was to Pip without going into too much detail, and Rainbow Dash simply bounced from conversation to conversation, joining and leaving each when she wished. After the little fiasco involved Rarity's choice of reading material, Luna had decided to eat on her own. She had at least been lenient enough to 'forget' that such a thing had ever happened, but it had been evident that the young Princess strongly disapproved.

Luna had since retreated to her room to eat alone, though she didn't seem to have much of an appetite. She had only nibbled here and there, leaving much of her food untouched, and Celestia had to decided to join for reasons unknown. To make matters worse, her elder sister was curious about how the camp was going thus far.

"Oh, it's going perfect. Absolutely perfect. We took a trip to the library, picked out books, and read them aloud. Turns out Rarity picked out a romance novel, with you as one of the main characters."

"Yes, well... ponies will be ponies, Luna. A lot of them look up to us and idolize us, and all through the course of history, ponies have written all manner of things. Usually just so folks can leave their troubles behind and immerse themselves in something better."

Luna snorted and slowly shook her head. "Even if that includes immersing themselves in us?"

Celestia let out a rather loud guffaw, looking at her sister with a grin. "Luna! I certainly didn't expect such crude humor out of you!"

"Yes, well... we're both still full of surprises, aren't we?"

"That we are, dear sister. That we are."

The elder sister's horn glowed softly as she plucked a pea from Luna's plate, floating it in front of the younger alicorn. Luna warily stared at it, narrowing her eyes. "...Celestia, don't you dare do what I think you're going to do."

The pea shot forward, bouncing off the young Princess' forehead and sailing to some unknown location within her room. Luna turned and stared at her sister, speaking through clenched teeth.

"It. Is. On."

Comments

[Vargras]

A little bit of crude humor at the end, but I couldn't leave it out. Once it popped up in my head, I simply had to include it.

[Vargras]

Shuffled some wording around at the end, should flow a bit better now.

[Litteras Anticus]

I laughed so well by that bit of crude humor by the end. I really enjoyed this chapter.
And if you go any sweeter than Applejack reading Pip a foldputbook, I will suspect you if being part of a secret complot to kill all the worlds diabethics.
I got my eyes on you.....

[Vargras]

108725
Me? Kill all the diabetics in the world?

Why, I wouldn't dare do such a thing!

[RainLight]

Rarity picks the best book and the ending is just to funny xD

[Professor Donger]

This is legit

[The Jack]

... How did I forget to read the last chapter? Now I have two chapters to catch up on!
I dunno whether to say "yay!" for giving me something awesome to do while sick, or "Bah!" for forgetting it for so long.
Buuuut, I'm going to bed before my rib cracks from all this coughing. I just hope I don't drown in snot (eww....) before tomorrow, so I can read both chapters xD

I like it. The crude humor shows the Princesses are still human.. er.. ponies, for all their immortality and power. Rarity made me laugh, I can see her doing that.

[nitewing]

excellent

I am guessing that Celestia was the books author, and it was loosely based off a true story.

[Vargras]

109074
Nah. There's probably rumors aplenty, but I doubt any of them are true.

109081
I somehow have a hard time believing that Celestia is a virgin.

109124
I severely doubt she is, i mean she spent a thousand years..."alone"... in fact the only reason Luna would ever be a virgin was she was on the moon without other ponies for a good chunk of her life

[Vargras]

109124
I'm not saying she is, but I doubt she's as promiscuous as others think she is.

[Wheelwright]

Having fun with it so far. Wasn't sure how well it would go at first, but keep it up.

[GrayFox2510]

While I knew there was something behind that financial book, I wasn't entirely expecting THAT. XD
Good stuff, good stuff.

[The Jack]

Hah! Why wasn't I surprised at Rarity's choice of reading material? xD
Also; foodfight between princesses. This... is going to be epic beyond comprehension. You better make it so, at least, or I'll be mighty dissappointed! xD

Also; Pip is adorable. I fully expect you to use him as weaponized d'aaaw at some point. xD

[jamlamin]

[Karrakaz]

i call the happy campers finding them still in the middle of said food fight, this is going to be so much fun!

[Vargras]

Gonna have to break my promise slightly - I said I would update Stuck In The Middle With You, then Unintended, and then back to this one. I've had several ideas pop into my head for Unintended, though, and I want to be sure I get them written down before I lose them. As such, Unintended will be getting another update some time on Friday or Saturday. Normal update schedule will resume afterwards.

My apologies.

[Meta Knight]

Excellent

[oblivion2k]

You should write The Princess and the Pool Boy as your next fic

[Vargras]

113582
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/1087_large.jpg

[Lordlyhour]

Crass Luna is Best Luna.
This, like all of your other fics that I've read that aren't completed, is tracked

[Vargras]

110291
Started work on Day 3 today, and though I wasn't originally going to include it, I decided to give the food fight a brief mention at the beginning of the chapter.

[Karrakaz]

115112 AHA! i knew it!

[Vargras]

And the next chapter is already complete. Holding it until tomorrow so I can publish it at a better time.

I told you guys that I update extremely fast.

116146Which is why you are the absolute best! Can't wait!

[ClosetBrony]

I just finished watching the VA panel at the January 2012 BroNYCon. They mentioned that Rarity's VA always finds 'double entendres' in the scripts. Then we have Rarity reading a 'romance novel' here. It's almost like you already knew. 0.o

[Super_Big_Mac]

108730 Rarity has best book. Oh, the wonderful blasphemy!

inquisitr.com/wp-content/blasphemy-demotivational.jpg

[edward18]

So...was the story about Celestia true or just fiction?

[Hecatia]

Must not say....
resist...
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

[Sleipnir]

Celestia is fine with being shipped with other ponies.

[Mally]

256309

Yes.